Wunna love Juice, Books and F****** Sausage Dogs!

Back from a hard ( & not even the good kind) day of work. And even though it’s only 6pm…which is all ‘bring out the banners and the midget hula hooping dancing boys,’ i’ve been at work since 5.30 am…which equals a looong ass day. I’m early nighting it this evening, as i’m taking a week off the bottle and a week on ‘being sensible.’ (Which is still a little bit bizarre..as i have no real grasp on good sense. But fuck it, it’s got me this far. And totally works for me..)

The filming and the shoot went well. First time in ages, that i’ve had clothes actually on and i’m apparently meant to be considering an image change..but i saw my options and well they didn’t look too festive to me? But i’m all for change, and well I’m a Wunna…i can pull off anything. (So i hear..)

So I’m now all about energy drinks. I want my own. And in the process of checking things off my ‘want’ list. And i figured if the LA ‘Diet Rockstar’ dudes can do it (and i’m a huge fan of a Diet Rockstar, cos they send it me for free)…then surely i can muster up a little magic? Luckily people in high places, foolishly believe i can too. So it was my second meeting and i guess i was supposed to ‘yabba’ on about my ideas. I’m great with ideas, although they’re a little wacky..and i have to sit in a room of stoney faced men in suits who stare at me, with frowns…whilst i prance around the office in pink & glitter and boobs, wooing them with nonsense.  However unfortunately today, i had to literally show them what i had come up with…and well like i said earlier, all i had done was scribble, doodles, the words ‘blah,blah, blah’ and ‘I’m Bringing Sexy Back’ in a blue falling to pieces book. (Oops!) I think there was a pornographic playing car wedged in there too.

So being the genius that i am, i quickly… whilst i wait, draw some random can, colour it in, state the name i wish it to be called…and tell them quite quirkily why, what, and yeah bitch! (In a written sentence..that looked like i had spent hours on it.) I actually also did this in the BBf house, when i had to write my life story in 500 words for Jackie Collins. I scribbled all over this pink hard back book, diagonally in giant spastic letters in a balck cab outside The Dorchester. I handed it in the exact same way, but with the pages falling out. She loved it.

Anyhow, i try not to really talk about work too much, as i think it’s bad luck and i don’t want to jinx it. Yet since i’m not ever going to talk about my ‘personal’ life ever again (lol) because that’s how it gets destoryed.. erm…you’re kinda stuck with jolly pathetic Wunna ‘work’ banter. But yeah, the energy drink meeting thing went well….so soon you’ll all beable to act like your on crack from a simple sip of the new Wunna can of fizz. Odd how things happen yeah? But it’s the perfect ‘kick up the arse’ drink that brings the ‘Glamour puss’ out in you. (Sounds a bit dodgey actually.) Hope it gets banned.

Erm..whatelse? OH god i now HATE sausage dogs! They are the scariest fucking things alive. ALIVE!!!! Like are they food or are they dogs??? I was left in a room with Nelly’s ‘Dilema’ song…which was awkward, as the CD  must have been scratched as all it kept doing was the ‘No matter what..no matter what…no mattttterr what‘ part over and over again , until you wanted to kill yourself and i had this thing…half dog/ half sausage, running around my ankles for about 3 hours flat, trying to make ‘whoopee’ with me. It was trying to hump me. I was in an evening gown all silver sequins, massive hair and lashes galore, with a horny beast of a sausage dog!! And it terrifed me. Everywhere i went…it would follow. EVERYWHERE i snook…it would sneak! I tried to kick it, but it only loved me more. I should learn from this…maybe it was a sign from God.

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.