I’m full of ‘Va Voomage’ today. I’ve been on a walk, (I oddly do love a walk…it’s the whole ‘skin to the wind’ thing,) i’ve fallen down a flight of stairs and i’ve actually…OMG…WORKED OUT! Me!! I actually worked out, like moved my body inappropriately and only for the benefits of ‘getting into shape’ and not for a pretty decent ‘ugh-oooh-yeeea,’ where i usually will have a boy plugged into my body. I mean, i did have a boy with me, yet his purpose was training me…and basically showing me how to make things work. It did mildly confuse me because really what’s the point in having a personal trainer if he’s not going to stretch you out and sleep with you? I used to work at a gym, (Crunch Gym in LA) and not only was it the best job in the world ever, the best time in my life ever…but i got to know about 15 personal trainers and all of them were really slutty! You got your money’s worth! 🙂 (Oh shut up, i only slept with 6 of them.)
Anyway, that was the past, now i’m all loved up and experiencing complete bliss with a ‘Handsome. ‘ I’m madly in love and i feel ALIVE. We have an AMAZING relationship and well I’d never thought i’d be blessed with such an GREAT GREAT man. I mean, i really do take back everything i said about Cupid being a total bitch of ‘lazy much .’ I have LUCKED out, with this one. I’ve found my ‘happy ever after.’ *smiles-sighs with relief*
I went around to his last night, and we drank spanish wine, cuddled on the recliner and watched Autistic children fondle themselves, then police men arrest chavs in Slough. We’re a romantic couple, and spend a lot of the time telling each other how much we love each other and tending to ‘romance.’ (It think it’s really important to do that. Couples always forget to appreciate each other.) Anyway, then we started doing that ‘can’t help but make out’ thing that we do…where we look and can’t keep our hands off each other. He said he wanted to ‘Eat me up ,’ and well i just ‘bedroom eyed’ him and went in for the*pounce.* I’m an ageing sex symbol, and he’s a young, fit, handsome chunk of 6ft ‘deliciousness.’ He kinda likes it if I initiate the ‘sexytime .’ I’ve noticed that feeling wanted turns him on. When i make the first move (and i usually always do) he’s quite a treat!
Therefore being the virginal, angel of beauty that i am…i sauntered into the bathroom, looking all tanned, mysterious and sexual. I was really just needing a really big wee. Then after a ‘puddle, ‘ i sauntered back into the now dark room (with the only light, being from the television screen…I do like the light from a telly screen. Yet only when you look into the pretty box and I’m IN it.) Anyway, he was half laid back in the recliner and i began to take my clothes off…(cheeky cheeky.) It gave him a stonker, a ‘doo-daa,’ a ‘whoop-dee,’ so he stood up, walked towards me and yes siree *hanky panky in a bathroom* took place here. (Whilst his Father called out to us to wish us a ‘Good night.’ OMG! How awful of us!)
Afterward we cuddled up, drank more, laughed, loved, talked about anal sex, our past relationships, dirt tracks, children, periods, love, life, money and how we’re fated to be together. He told me he had never been ‘in love’ with anyone.. before he met Me. I like that i’ve made him feel whole, strong and well i’ve pretty much recovered his faith in love and more importantly, his faith in himself. When people need strength, i’ve noticed the forces of ‘magic’ pre-plant ME, ‘Chrissie Wunna’ in a persons path, in order for our two life lanes to eventually collide, merrily cross or court, with a *look up* and a happy, ‘oh hey babe, I’m Chrissie,’ one deliciously drunken night, at any bar in the world. It’s usually after i’ve run into them, fallen into them, or been introduced to them politely, through friends. I always find them (and they’re not just boys i’m meant to date. They can be men, women, boys, girls, friends…anyone who might just need ‘Wunna’ in their life, at that time.) I always KNOW who they are the *moment* i meet them. ‘Loverboy’ is different to any of my previous ‘meets’ because without him knowing he’s saving my life. He makes me feel the way any girl should feel, when they are with a boy, who loves them. Like in a fairytale. Thank GOD, it finally works both ways. I’m in love…deeply. I mean, the last relationship I came out of was, yeah, really bad.Yet, i think, in order for me to appreciate what i have now and who I have now, I kind of HAD to go through something so awful, to make me never take a good boy for granted, if i was ever lucky enough to be blessed with one. Cupid saw that i deserved a bit of ‘happy’ and thankfully threw me a life line. *Add gin here* Hold out for the man or the girl of your dreams. I promise that they will find you.
Anyway…i got side tracked. *Rewind, do hair, adjust bra strap.* AGAIN we started making out. (Ooh-laaa daddio.) I remembered having a image of his bare bum in my mind, whilst he was bent over picking up his pants and it is HOT HOT tamales!!! The best bare bum, any kitten could have EVER seen. I mean, i’m quite quite calm, but i think i would definitely scratch any girls eyes out, for that bit of bare bum . Good luck winning that battle chicks! But yeah..OMG, i love his body. It’s crazy sexy. But you’d never know it, because he never flaunts it, the way I..(a Kitty cat of ‘Look at me goddamit’) would. I’ve noticed how superficial i might be afterall? I mean, all he would have to do to get me to do anything for him, would be to lift his shirt up for 2.4 seconds, do *man face* and i’d cut out my own eyes and give them to him. (However, i don’t really think i’d be too sexy with no eyes?) How can he be that yummy AND a decent person? He’s ultimately romantic, cuddly, loving and kind. I need to learn it…but i’ll take my time. 🙂 Anyhow yeah..we ended up parked up, in a lorry bay, having full blown ‘rumpy ‘ in a car…again. REALLY GOOD ‘rumpy pumpy’ might I add. My idea. I’m full of great ideas. I’m not going to tell you about it…because it’s far too delicious. If he can do that, then he’s definitely got the ‘not so goody’ in him. On the drive home, he looked at me and said, ‘It’s so surreal. I mean there’s probably about a million men who would die to just sleep with you, let alone BE with you…and well I..’ I just put my hand on his knee, looked at him and smiled. I loved that wine we had.
Going back to the beginning of my blog, (my minds filled with dis-order) i am quite quite impressed that i actually went on a walk today. Usually my walks consist of turning a corner, walking into a store and coming out with booze. Today, i walked around a village for a whole 10 minutes..on my own and i found it delightful. I did it like the Ultimate Glamour Puss ofcourse. However, the fact that i fell down my OWN flight of stairs, before i left for my walk, would make me not so ‘ooh laa’ after all. I didn’t even trip over a banana peel, fall over my own feet, OR get beaten up by my boyfriend. I just decided to be at the top of the merry flight and dramatically fall down them, in order to get to the bottom. Not my choice, but the choice of the Gods. They toy with me…and mainly because i live my life like a toy. I fell…and deliciously. At the bottom, i picked myself up, dusted myself off, *pouted*, giggled and skipped off into the sunshine. I’ve fallen down a lot worse….like a cliff in Wales, an escalator at Macy’s in LA and an elephant in Burma. It was quite fun actually… y’know getting to do it sober. No bruises or anything. CHAMPION!
Anyhow, since the fall, something weird has happened. It actually knocked some sense into me (disappointing, i know) and made me realize that one of the ‘lectures’ my mum gave me was actually RIGHT!!! I think, i hate the initial moment of her telling me what to do…but after the moment of force has passed, i see that she’s COMPLETELY and always right. The woman that always has my best interests at heart. I’m now back to business, concentrating on my career and intending to ‘step up my game. ‘ I’m a money maker, a great little creature of ‘oooh to the laaa much’ and i have so much going for me that it’s quite possibly silly of me to waste it. I’m in a really great position right now. I owe the world some Wunna ‘magic.’
Now, ‘Loverboy ‘ is a boy, that works extremely hard and every single day. But i’m a girl that has a career which enables me, to not have to work very hard, but when i do… i get paid a great deal for my work, meaning i can sort of ‘chillax’ whenever i so wish. In the times of ‘chillax’ if i actually don’t ‘chillax’ and if i *shimmie, shimmie *work in that time, then not only can i be beautiful, but like the song, i can be dirty rich too. I’m learning and i’m getting there. Heelllo world, here i come! I have a GREAT MOTHER!!
(From when i worked at Crunch. I have great ‘customer service’ skills.)
