Morning Dollies of dip factory. Today i’m in a surprisingly good mood. I say surprising simply because over the past 12 weeks of ‘Soon to be mama’ hood, waking up in the morning and throwing up, whilst i pout-pose and poke, has been filed as ‘the norm.’ I’M NOT SICK ANYMORE!! I feel GREATNESS and kittens that means we ALL must tend to hoola hooping our lives away topless and tipsy (well i can’t really be tipsy) to the merry sounds of VICTORY. The reason why i feel great, is because now ‘my bump’ isn’t controlling ME. The reins have been handed back to the lovely little Glamour puss, with the *woo-wee* in her eyes and bitches i can ride this shit like it’s handsome rodeo of shirtless heart-break! Booyah! *I think i’ve just done my back in.* Infact, saying that, i WILL you tell you that my raunchy hotel night of panky…really HAS actually done my back in. I can hardly fricking move! It’s hilarious. At this rate i won’t even make it to the glorious heights of ‘Cougar.’ Agile,young Pete tries to bend me around like i’ve won trophies. I go with it…with a smile…that covers *panic.* It’s hard having a bedroom reputation to uphold. Back in the day, i could wrap my legs around my head and do ‘ooh’ faces, with horny eyes and a beckon. These days, just scrambling on top, probably means i’m gonna pull some kind of ligament. I do more of a lazy roll now…that ends in a stumble and a *wink.*(Just joking. As if! I’m a a demon in the bedroom. 😉 )
Read a sign the other day…a big one..at a tube station that stated that ‘only Jack Daniel’s knows what the no.7 means?’ Or something like that anyway?? Firstly…incase you don’t know…the no.7 is on the label of the bottle, all mysterious and bold. Secondly…WHO HONESTLY CARES??? I mean, are we really trying to figure out what the ‘No.7’ on the label means, or have we already mixed it with cola and started to wiggling to Kylie!?! I rest my case. Since, i’m in such a good mood today, i’ve decided to BAN people from things. I can do this becasue i’m a Queen! If YOU are a ‘being’ who actually buys a bottle of JD and wastes precious drinking time trying to figure out what the ‘No.7’ means? You do not deserve the right to drink! I’m banning you! Jack Daniels, is not ever to be questioned. It is to be spritzed, poured, iced or sipped. Who cares about the label? That’s only there to be ripped off during the process of the night by those who are suffering from sexual frustration. Like Duuuur!
(I’m just getting a flashback from yesterday when Gay Adam told me he had converted his whole entire 2 bedrooms into Disney shrines. The last time he referred to Disney, he was telling me about the Prince Charming in Paris, who wanted to rape him, with leather straps. Although that has shattered my happy Disney illusion, i do kinda hope he hasnt given into the dark side and decorated his room like some form of nipple ripping torture garden. I need to return to his life. I was the best influence he had. I taught him the art of party-party, lying and crotch grabbing. Who needs Disney..when you have me?)
Other than all that good, clean fun. An old school friend of mine,called Kate Sykes Facebook commented me yeseterday afternoon. She was a couple of years below me at school and i always really liked her…because she is one of those femmes that is sizzled over with a pretty decently sick sense of humour. She asked me what my goal was in life? I can never seem to answer questions now without the art of media training. Lol.
Annnyway…like moi, Kate is a Dolly who enjoys being openly wordy and i guess also intends to inspire the world with her uncanny ability to use words to her advantage in a humourously and intellingent manner. (We went to a Quaker boarding school. We had to wear navy calf length skirts of ‘unflattering’ much. No matter how hard we’ve tried to break away from our private educational uprbinging. I mean, i was *boobs out* in Hollywood! We always seem to return to our deliciously geeky roots.)
The reason why i brought dear old Sykes up. (Omg, i’ve made her sound like some dodgey character from a Dickens novel, or a hip hop track,) is simply because she reminded me of what i was here to do! (That is other than be a ridiculously glamourous, candid icon of ‘ooh laa’..with a sexual kitty cat dispostion, who just so happens to write.) I’m here (as is Kate) to prove that ‘the art of the wordsmith is NOT dead.’ They are her words, as ofcourse if i said it would be rather more glitzy and sound a bit more drunken.
Bottom line…when i was kid, being a Doctor, a Lawyer or an Accountant were seen as worthy jobs of desire. They were the occupations that if you were to do well in life, you were going to attempt to obtain. I rebelled away from a stereotype im order to find me some Hollywood, a bit more ‘razzle dazzle,’ due to the fact that I always knew that i could make something of myself in entertainment and i guess, i’m on my way!
As i got older and began to make money from acting, modelling and ‘ooh laa.’ I realized that at one point i was making more money than my own Mother…who is a doctor. (At the time i was a Glamour model.) My Mother who saves lives, prevents ill health, and heals the wounded…was making less than a dolly, who got her jubblies out for a paycheck. Hmm…? Now there’s something wrong with that isn’t there?
Later on i life, and when I returned to England, i noticed that the young children of Britian, no longer craved to be doctors, lawyers,or Accountants. They longed to marry someone rich, or to be a wag, a footballer, a glamour model, or just famous! That’s how much society had changed!!
Now, i’m in a decent position right now, where i am seen as one of those reality tv cast-offs 🙂 …i’m a model, an entertainer, someone that inspires others, a party queen and blogger. Like i say, i’m in that weird phase of infamy. I got my dream, yet once i found my dream i realized that it actually was something else that i wanted to do..which is write. I began a blog…which is now begin turned into a book. It is being turned into a book, due to me getting myself noticed via the fine art of telly and the aort of fine art of boobie modelling. (The boobie modelling, is not a profession, i advise anyone to tamper with these days. I sure as hell had a lot of fun doing it. Don’t get me wrong. Yet the male backlash of pervs that you end up having to deal with, for the REST of your life, who are not quite as respectful as you would like a gentleman to be…is not so easy.)
So yeah.. ‘Chrissie Wunna,’…Ultimate Glamour Puss extra-ordinaire..who is seen as maybe trendy, delicious, sexy and ‘cool’…is now doing something (the writing) that is associated with being a geek. (I have the geeky in my somewhere.)
Therefore, i’m in a position, with me now having a blog following to put a stamp on this world and make sure that the youth of our pretty ‘sunny today’ nation KNOW that the art of the wordsmith is NOT dead. If i dash wrriting with a sprinkle of celebrity…which means playing with the current world that society’s youth dearly craves…then as time and moments go on…more and more people, young and old…will aspire to be writers. It will be up their with footballer and wag, socialite and tv star! 🙂
I told you i’d use my success (often referred to as ‘evil’) for good! Yipppeee! I encoruage everyone to blog about their lives…or anything really. Writing is a beautiful form of expression and you don’t have to be a word perfect egnius to be able to WRITE. teh way you express yourself is unique. There is only ONE of you therefore it is only YOU, who knows how you would tell your story!
Young darlings write to me everyday saying that they daren’t blog about themselves because they feel like they are important enough. You are as important as ANY being…on this planet, who heart os thudding along. You have a LIFE…who just don’t see that you have! It’s about being brave and finding you niche.
For the ones that feel that writing is not really something to be celebrated, KNOW that almost every second of everyday, we are communicating with each other and expressing our thoughts openly on Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Websites….without even realizing. It is one of the biggest ways to get heard…and is something so important that as soon as we hit 4 years of age…we are taught it at school.
‘Carrie Bradshaw’ made writing fashionable, trendy and hip. Brooke Magnanti…(Secret Diary of a Call girl) made it raunchy. JK Rowling made it magical and made billions as her words were turned into movies. And well I…I’m a Glamourous kitty cattness documenting her life frankly, as she goes along. But what i’m proving is that ANYONE can do it! I want people to learn from my actual story. My story is no more relevant than yours…i’ve just told mine…that’s all. 😉