Winning as a Wunna

Did dinner last night. One friend, couldn’t be arsed to come with me, due to sheer mardiness, but i don’t care because i have more…lol. Another friend imediately jumped at the offer of ‘dim sum & dem sum’ so off we trotted hand in hand, to get our ‘jiggy-dine’ on. I’m really happy right now, and well it seems when you’re happy and you hang out with other happy people…good things happen. When i’m talking ‘Happy‘ i’m talking in the really properly sense. That warm flush of wholeness ‘happy,’ and not just someone who ‘claims’ happiness. You can always see ‘happy‘ in peoples eyes and well i’m a liver of life…. The Kitty Princess of experiencing all things good and all things bad. I can see truth, i can see pain i can see ‘Happy‘ in people…even when they’re trying to fool a whole entire four walls.

Any ‘Matty’ (my lovely dish of hotness…pictures of him are somewhere on this bloggage) and I had a flirty flirty natter over dim sum. Now, i love a bit of carefree open, smutty, banter and well it seems this boy can throw it at me, with the most dangerous amount of charm. We’re like the girl/boy version of each other. He’s known me for years and well i don’t think i’d let anyone but him tell me i looked like ‘one of those chinese flat faced dogs’, whilst i stuffed meaty Dim sum balls into my face. We both grew up and knew each other from Hollywood. We got attention. We milked it the only way two Angeleno Bratts know how. Free round of cocktails, with fire, space, and palm trees coming out of them. I Thank You, Great tans, Handsome *man* wink, Big fake boobies & LA charm. (Booyah!)  I love a joke, a laugh, a cocktail and well put that with a side of the most delicious seasme prawn toast i have EVER had in my LIFE, with a crispy seaweed salad and trays of tiny meaty bundles of joy…you not only have everyone staring at you eat, phone numbers placed on napkins by various nearby slags, but most importantly you have the most glorious time imaginable.

We read our fortune cookies, but it was odd because the toothy, but charming waiter was making us read them out aloud, to him and a bunch of rather excited people behind him. Mine insisted that according to Confucious (Did i spell that right) that i was going to climb the fountain of joy with my monkey, over the seas of good fortune in heat…or something along those lines.  ‘Matty’s‘ said he’d have Bad Luck. HAHAHA! We always do this really rubbish thing, that i learnt from my drunk friend Cletus, who was my neighbour in LA, (Oh my many talents…boobs out, swearing, partying and shit games) where you stated the words ‘IN BED’ after your Fortune and that was you’re ACTUAL fortune.

So Matty would have ‘Bad luck… bed.’ And i’d be doing all that fucking jungle marlarky with my monkey….in bed.’ Haha. Ofcourse i’m annoying when tipsy, so i make a small announce telling everyone around us to do it. Luckily, Matt’s annoying too, so he made all the woman do it repeatedly, whilst stealing them from their boyfriends. We kiss (YES), we leave, everyones still playing that crap ‘IN BED’ game lol, and we have our picture taken so the owner can put it on his wall with our fortunes.

The good thing about this night, is that for the first time ever, Matt and I NEVER had RUMPY. WTF! We’re the type of friends who are quite ‘holdy handy-laugh-chat-wink,’ we both are highly confident beings, whole, strong, mighty! Bottom line…we always bonk. No bonky. So yeah, well done us! Saying that, he did try though. I claimed i was saving myself for Valentines day or some random, made up shit like that! To be honest, i’ve just recovered from the flu, i can’t think of anything  worse than having my legs at ‘ten to two,’ whilst thinking of Prada. Great night though. The funny thing that we did discuss last night, was how one tiny decision a ‘being’ makes, can completely change his immediate future. It’s scary right. One small ‘yes or no’ will predict the flow of your next chapters. People tend to make shit decisions out of Ego or Pride. Be very careful. I’m not really a believer in fate., as i feel on occasion people tend to push the blame on fate, to make themselves feel better when things go wrong. I believe you create your own destiny. I created mine and i’m loving every minute of it.

Anyway, today i’m having a pamper day. I might have a walk around Camden in a bit. I need to get my hair washed and groomed. I can’t be arsed to do it myself, so i’d rather walk in somewhere and make them do it.

I go back to Yorkshire on Friday for a week. I’d stay for longer but i have to come back and work. Liek i said, my current behaviour is being monitored as i have great people looking out for me. I’m bein g hailed as the ‘one to watch out for’ because i’m apparently gonna shoot out of nowhere and rule this bonanza. I’m ‘shooting out of nowhere’ terrifies my somewhat. I’m a Glamour Puss, i’d like to do it gracefully and without having to break a single droplet of sweat.

Anyway, i’m rambling…i’m going to Yorkshire, to first celebrate my Mums birthday with her. Any woman that had to squeeze me out of her B’jeeze’ and attempt to raise me deserves diamonds. I told her this. Her response, ‘Oh darling don’t worry about it, i bought a chunk of icey love today. I wanted to treat myself.’ I LOVE my Mother for that! It’s so sexy. I mean we’ll go sautering around Topshop for knickers, and then she’ll get bored, believe we need treats and then somehow we’ll be at the jewellers buying diamonds. I very much enjoy being a Wunna. My Mother taught me well. I remember her draping me in a big white fur, at 5 and making me gracefully glide down a giant stairway, like i was a superstar or out of the cast of Dynasty. I loved it. I still do. All ths talk is making me want a whisky sour?

The second reason i’m going to Yorkshire is to work. Well get work done. I cant be left to my own devices here in London, without getting up to some kind of trouble. ‘My People’ are bringing in the troops. It seems i’ve accidentally become a ‘product.’ Ooops! But it’s what i wanted anyway. When you become a Product, a ‘brand’ (well the early start of one,) you become MONEY. When you become MONEY, you also become other peoples MONEY. When you are other peoples MONEY…they are terrified something is going to happen to you, therefore protect you from all the horror and hurt that this merry world whips out. Unfortunately, i’ve caused most of it (haha) so it’s cool. Now, i can get into trouble, cause chaos, then other people will pick me out of it, like i’m a little puppy in a whole fire of a sexy mess.

Okay, i’ve got to go before everything shuts. But i do want to leave you with a few words of Wunna Wisdom. (My bra is on too fucking tight. I feel like i’m tied to the God foresaken chair!!!!) Look, what i’ve learnt from living is that you only learn strength, when you’ve suffered a rather unsexy struggle.You only learn to win, by completely losing everything. You only learn what’s right, by getting things deeply wrong and you only learn how to fight after recieving the *beatdown* of your life!

I’m a chica that’s extremely comfortable in her own skin and to me that is one of the major keys to success. I do and i say what i wish and i do it with a *giggle* and a *wink.* Or a *hair toss* and a *strutt.* But i’m confident in my actions. People ahev called me everything under the sun and back and to me, it’s simply like shedding another layer of clothing….normal.  If you are down… CHEER UP! Why is everyone so miserable??? There are people who have it a great deal worse than you. You are only down because you WANT TO BE. There is nothing waorse than throwing your own pity party. I’ve done it. It’s boring and devastatingly lonely. No sparklers or anything.

The thing that scares people about me is that no matter what happens, how hard i’ve been thrown down the shitty pit of destruction, i will always and again NO MATTER WHAT, even if i’m in a snotty misty mess of tears…PICK MY SORRY ARSE BACK UP!!! Learn it…it terrifies people! lol

2 thoughts on “Winning as a Wunna”

  1. I love your mom quote! Let’s have more of them!

    And I’ve always liked what you’ve said about her:

    Anyone, “I’d like to meet your mom.”
    Chrissie, “You just did.”


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