Where it all began…and rum?


There was a moment during my morning where i found myself with the most dirty spray tanned face, last nights makeup on and a plastic Morrisons grocery bag tied around my freshly dyed head of hair. As I tweeted this morning, when this happens, who really do need to take a look at your life and ponder. Luckily, i didn’t and made myself a cuppa tea…(instead of a rum..well done me 😉 ) and flicked on ’10 years younger’..until ofcourse it ‘urked’ me out. (I never knew that show was so *ouchy.* Therefore in my Glamour Pussy moment of ‘need to feel yummy’ i switched it for ‘Playing it straight,’ to watch ‘not sure if they’re gay or straight men’ dress like chickens and wrestle. Now, i have wonderful Gaydar. I’m the Ultimate fag hag and the bit of girl that plenty a fancy would maybe like to have on their arm…(so i’ve heard…and well i’m mildy big headed…so i do actually think that on the inside, most of the time :)..BUT OMG, i couldn’t figure out who was playing WHAT, for the life of me! Then i figured men we’re a weird breed. They are aren’t they? Yet having been with a lot of gents and being with the one i’m going to marry…i know how hard it actually is being a guy. Us girls have it easy and THANK THE LORD for it. *Giggle here*

I totally got bonked after a spray tan and a quick ‘Pick Ruby up from nursery because she was ill’ on a windowsill last night, by my handsome chunk of ‘Keiran.’ Our relationship is wonderful in ALL areas right now and we’re wallowing from Cloud 9, on our love cloud carried by Cupid. We’re enjoying being a couple, we’re enjoying being parents and we’re excited for the future and luckily we have been blessed with a great one…thanks to the magic of my *wiggle* and my previous art of ‘Look at me, i’m off the telly.’ I’m really happy and well i need another week to get back into the swing of things, because i’ve had an odd week. Yet once i’m back on track, i assured my gentle kitty cat ‘Va Voom’ will be back and our ‘bubble’ will be sealed. Handsome Keiran is ALREADY learning the art of ‘the bubble,’ and learning to stay in it. For every 20 people who adore you, there will always be one that will ‘have a good go.’ We were on the sofa talking about it last night…comparing Twitter notes and well, we’re pre-prepping to strap in and ride the glitzy old ‘boom boom.’ We’re both friendly, but we’re both feisty, therefore we kinda now need each other, before it all gets ‘crazy sign.’ (I love that we’re in love and that i’ve finally found the man of my entire dreams. I feel adored and well now that i have more free time, our delicious *ooze* of love dome, really is flourishing. He’s at work right now..and i’m…well i’m fucking tying plastic bags to my head in order to give ‘Operation Groom -fest’ the full 100%. (Which if you’re a Wunna..about 52%. 🙂 )

Anyway i’m feelling sexy. I’m feeling ontop of the world. I’m lounging around my living room in a cricket jumper, zebra knickers and furry boots of comfort. I had weird dreams last night. The kinda ones that feel real. I dreamt that i bit my hubby to be, threw a drink in his face and left him because he wanted to do drugs with some random girl, that i met in my dream? Lol. Issues much. I woke up and there he was..all clam, wanting a ‘tickle’ and telling me he loved me. My mind is a bizarre place to be. This is why i need rum.

Tonight, we’re going to ‘Aagrah’ for a bit of love, celebration and Indian food with the family. I’m excited for it all, because now i have new hair i feel delicious..even if i do smell like mango chutney by the end of it. I adore the fact that i now won’t have to be terrified of sunday’s and simply because on Monday’s i will no longer be FORCED to ease into pinstripes and trundle to an office at some ‘evil o’clock’ to get shouted at by bitchy people with attitude problems. Makes me happy and when i’m happy, everyone around me kinda catches it by accident.

Thank You for all of my messages! I’m reading them. I’m loving them and i’m super excited for the book. (Today i officially got told to begin writing my second one, to be handed in my Crimbo 2012. OMG! I’m actually gonna end up being a ‘writer about my lifer’ and purely by really hard work 🙂 and accident. Yipppeee!

I’m off to grab an afternoon wine! (Had a great chat with my mum, in the car outside my Ackworth home this lunch time. One of those bonding moments,  after a panic, where you look to your right at the woman who raised you and you truely thank her with all of your heart for everything she’s ever done and sacrificed for you. I’ve got a great mum, a wonderful daughter..who’s already learnt the art of manipulation and a beautifully romantic husband. A jolly bundle of career on the way and a blessing from the Gods! Things couldn’ t be better. Well they will be…but right now i’m not complaining. 🙂 It’s like being in Hollywood again…but instead in Yorkshire, where it all began.


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