Hi Darlings, i have been so ridiculously busy recently, both in work and my dandy little personal life, that i’m having to find quiet moments to get a blog in. I have so much to do, yet my laziness is getting the better of me. However Mummy Dearest, The Great Wunna before Me, is coming down to London today, to simply, wink, cheer her little girl on and give her darling ‘vagina litter’ a cuddle. I love it when she sleeps in my bed…makes me feel safe from any evil penis!
Anyway, yesterday i exercised my apparent ‘heart of gold.’ It’s dawning on people that i’m actually quite nice, which is somewhat disturbing. I’ve tried so hard to master the art of ‘Bad girl’ only to have people tell me that the heart I have, is made of solid gold. (I need a new one.)
I tended to a few meetings earlier in the day, got my jiggery pokery together and then i met up with my little Jonny, and well I treated him to a bit of love, life and sushi in Camden, (he needed it…he’s very special to me) before he ventured off back to Manchester. I feel really close to him and i think of all we’ve been through, all the history etc.. Yet we can still sit across a Japanese table from one other half a year later, pass each other bits of raw salmon, and well after all this time, be there for one another. And that’s what truely caring for someone is, i reckon? Being able to ride the storm, but come out the other end smiling. There’s not many people you can do that with. There’s always a place in me that he can call home. (wink)
After that i had a ginormous book writing session, booked a few crazy shoots, got very excited about my life, then gave a young boy really poor advice on sex. UGH! People come to me ALL the time for advice, because i’ve been crowned this chick who’s the Queen at Life and ace at it. And i’m talking People all over the world. Just so you know, i give really rubbish advice, because i don’t believe in telling people what to do. I trust people to make the right judgements, whilst i wine with handsomes in fur. I became popular through misake making and openly talking about it. Therefore now people come to me when they need help. I say make mistakes it’s fine. I still make them. It’s still fine. What the boy had asked me was ‘how to go down on a girl, coz he had never done it before and didn’t want to get laughed at.’ Now although i like to help people…that’s a little riddle you’re gonna have to figure out on your own. I don’t give little boys, advice on sex!!! Pull ya pants up and wait until your 25!!! (hahaha…I’m gonna be an awful Mother.) Oh ‘Lashes’ tried to booty call me, last night. I ignored him. It’s over. He tried to do the ever so romantic, ‘I don’t want a relationship, AT ALL, but i do want some ‘Wunna Booty.‘ How awful! (All he’s trying to do is try and re-date me by using the wrong ‘ i’m so cool and a player,’ tactic. Firstly players aren’t cool, they are lost! And secondly I don’t like him enough to, re-sign that contract.) I just blanked him. I have the swagger of a champion. I’m a love bunny, not a one trick pony. Then i got random phone call from a friend, who when i answered…said ‘I’ve done a bad thing.’ Hahaha. I don’t have the answers to everything, but i sure as hell will help you the best i can and i love that you can all talk to me about things. Life can be a bit toughy, so let the strong ones pull you through it. It’s always been good to Me on a regular and i’ve noticed that if you are good to life back. It really does take care of you. I can free fall now and it’d safety net me back up to Greatness, in a garter and with a champagne in my hand! Maybe even fucking sparklers!
I’m starving so i’m gonna have to go, i can’t think? I’m dancing in the sunlight, winking at strangers. Dreams come true…wish upon stars! That’s actually the real truth. When i was in Hollywood. I looked up from my balcony at night at a very desperarte time, and wished upon a star. The thing that i wished for came true. The moment it did. I then got the word ‘star‘ tattooed on my inner left arm.
(Found myself performing Pussycat Doll lyrics to myself in my bathroom mirror. All pouty and everything. Later, i found myself having a conversation with my mirror image! Oh deary me. I’m a great role model. Fuck it. I say let your creativity and imagination take you far!) The first step to a great future, is being able to imagine one. You’ll only not make it, if you let yourself down. Letting yourself down, is giving up! More dreams come true than don’t. I love you. x