So, yesterday I did something lovely for someone and sent it to them, via the fine art of ‘Dm.’ It was cute. I’m cute. I don’t know why I wanted to do it..? (That’s a lie, I do know…Haha.) But anyway, I did it. Immediately.
Now, I don’t know what’s wrong with me right now because this morning, when they saw it and acknowledged it, I kinda felt really shy? I felt really embarrassed for being ‘cute,’ and surely I shouldn’t, as what is possibly more delightful, than being so thoughtful, right?
Therefore, i’ve decided that there’s certainly a shyness to me, that I didn’t quite realize I had and mainly because i’ve hidden behind the ‘vixen’ mask for quite a few jolly years. It’s comforted me. In fact it still does, as it seems and well it’s kept me safe from harms way, broken hearts and broken egos.
I am quite sassy. That is certainly a part of me. I’m a sensual little lady and life has let me own that vibe. Yet, I don’t think people realize that there’s a gentleness to me. They certainly see me as a ‘type.’ However, when they say ‘you’re my type,’ I always kinda wonder what they mean by ‘type?’ How do they see me?
A footballer once looked at me in a hotel room, told me he fancied me and said it was because I was ‘dangerous.’
I’m not ‘dangerous‘ at all? I’m chilled.
I said nothing, but just smiled.
Even my first husband Mike, once said, whilst we were still married that I was ‘never the safe option.’
It’s so weird, as i’d probably think i’m a guys safest option?
When i’m in love…and I mean the real deal…I’m not talking about a one sided crush, that tickles my panties… I’m literally the most romantic girl I know. I’m loyal. I’m supportive. But most of all i’m nothing BUT the ‘safe option.’
I wonder why i seem so ‘danger zone’ to people?
I’m aware that I’m drawn a certain way. I look like a ‘sasserilla’ with a sexy disposition and there are definitely moments of that…because I enjoy being sexy. It’s fun and free. However, I wonder how many guys see more than that?
I mean, I’m only feisty, when I have to be…when someone’s fucked with my okayness. I’m a tough cookie. You don’t mess with ‘Wunna Land.’ I’ll come at you with ‘home truths’ and wit galore.
However, if you scrape all that to the side of your plate, i’m actually really laid back, calm, romantic and kind.
I wonder how many guys think or see that?
But for now, i’m still single, looking for Mr.Right and well…he’ll come find me. He’s somewhere in this dandy old world. He’ll come get me…but when everything’s right.
Anyway, I had an audition today for a feature film. It felt good. It went well. I hope I get it because I want it. The role feels..well it’s just so me. But i like to do the audition, forget about it and hear, when I hear… So we’ll see.
I did my first Tiktok ‘live’ last night. It went well until my phone cut off due to poor signal and no-one could see me. Haha. Of course. However, i still managed to gain loads of viewers and stats, so i thank you for joining in the banter. It really does mean a lot. It was actually so wonderful to ‘live’ chat with you all. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
Everyone is STILL asking me about my love life on a daily and it seems like such a big thing to you all? Haha…I feel like the next person I date will be bombarded with Wunna troops stalking their ‘socials,’ with utter excitement. I already feel sorry for them.
I always tell you that i’m a confident woman, because I am. However, I don’t think i’m as confident when it comes to my love life anymore. I’ve seen and heard and experienced too much, to trust that it all ends wonderfully for me. Haha.
I’m not nuts. Don’t worry. I’ve learnt not be, after years of guys being NUTS with me. But there’s still a glint in my eye, filled with romance.
I never assume the worst because by nature i’m a positive soul. However, for example, if a guy liked me and told me how much he liked me privately, i’d just assume he’d be telling a few other chicks the same thing also, so i never take it so seriously until I see it and believe. It’s a feeling isn’t it.
I have a great gut instinct.
I’m also not a numbers game kinda gal. I’m too old for that, with too many responsibilities and things to accomplish. I’d rather wait it out and let my path cross with whoever it’s meant to, whenever it’s meant to and well..I assume the guy (who will be a gentleman….) I assume he’ll be confident enough to take the lead….
But for now, I’m all good and I hope you are too.
Something i learnt over the last 24hrs. Don’t be distracted by bullshit, or negativity, when you’ve got so many good things going on. Make sure you remain focused on the things that actually DO matter. Keep your focus and energy in the right place. Don’t meander with the bad vibes. Keep your eye on the prize.
Anyway, just a short one today…
My phone’s just blinked up with notifications and a really thoughtful guy named ‘Tim’ is asking me if i’d prefer Thai food or Turkish?
The best kind of notifications. This morning I was sure someone had called me ‘backwards.’ Lol
Thank you for coming with me on this journey. I mean we’re all doing life…This is just my version of it….