At home drinking Coronas, in diamond clustered earrings, watching tramps hover past my window, to the merry tune of a busy London night. I’ve made a packed with myself to refrain from going out until the weekend has arrived. Only because i have failed to do this during the past first month of the year, and well…i have a lot of work on. However, saying that Samuel and I ARE going to be stalking Jedward on Thursday night. Therefore you lucky people, will actually beable to know what’s going on, as we tweet and photograph our mission of love, during each cold and rainy, stalking moment. We’re both actually fabulous stalkers! *Puts bunny to the boil* Therefore our delicious hot tag team of ‘shimmie’ will no doubt, absolutely beat their identical twin team of sheer tag. They have the hair. We have the heart…Oh and brandy. (As in booze, not stripper. The stripper couldn’t make it.)
Anyway, since i’m bored, i’ve decided to choose my next man via the fine art of picking the purrfect astrological sign of the Zodiac, that is NO… not best suited to Me, (that’s not how i work,) but sounds like he would be the most loving man in the world ever. Does that make sense? Are you still with me? *swigs booze* Anyway, it’s the month of beating hearts, love and magic and therefore, last night, i went online and read up on the different boys of the Zodiac that i could date! (Hahah…this is already sounding terrible. No wonder i’m temporarily single! If only they could just focus on my chest and not my personality!)
Long story short…i came up with Taurus. They’re apparently meant to be the type of man that will give a girl all kinds of fairytale love… I enjoy the idea of it very much. (Not remotely compatible with my sign. However, i’m not even a little phased by this. Men are men. I’ll make them work with me.) Anyhow, yeah… I want romance, magic, love and when a Taurus man falls in love, they apparently fall in love hard. They will go to the ends of the earth and back for their true true love and buy them flowers & diamonds. I like that….sign me up now!! However, If you make them mad, they’re violent. Yippeee….! Again, sign me up NOW! (I’m laughing at my own jokes. I’m literally crying…HAHAHA! *Loser*) I feel like it’s boyfriend season, because it’s terribly cold outside. Then in the S ummer…i can be single again and pull a half naked, spanish pool boy.
I really do believe the weather predicts how much you want to date. When the weather is cold and gloomy, people want to pair up…share sheets. In the sun…like in Hollywood…NO-ONE wants to settle down. OMG, I definitely didn’t and i don’t know ANYONE who did?? NO-ONE! There’s too much on offer. Infact, it’s almost a crime to be in a relationsip. You’re only allowed a series of delicious 8 month flings. I mean, you can be 35 in LA and still be the young, free, hot and happy ‘sort after.’ But over here in London…if you don’t pair up, you’ll freeze and die of depression, with your 4 kids that you had to make, to keep you warm on windy nights!
I’m really happy right now. Work is going really well for me, therefore i’m now not in a position where dating a boy, would hinder my progress in anyway. Infact, it could only help! Well provided i date the right boy, a good boy and not a complete idiotic loser. But i feel good, i feel like a visionary, who’s kind of farsighted in her own merry way. I’m stable, strong, Va Voomy and although i lack the patience to perfect myself in a practical world, I am told that, i’m a girl that will not only manage to survive, but also luckily prosper. It’s the ‘cutesy, ballsy, ballsy .’ I learn a lot from people, all the time without them knowing. I’m constantly working. But yeah, i’m in a good place right now, so why not add a little ‘love’ to this game i’m calling ‘Life.’
Last night i was referred to as the ‘best bad influence around….an inspiration! ‘ I was excited by that, i was, i was. However, Ricky Martin turned up on my screen and well those wicked ‘wa-wa’ snake hips of ‘woowee’ , got the better of me and distracted me from being an egotistical bratt.
Other than that, i believe that there’s a powerful force inside every human being…a hunger, an excitement. Find yours and make your dreams come true. It’s a Wunnaful state to be in and without it…you’re just an empty parcel of flesh. And that’s not how any hot pussy cat rolls! Live, don’t merely exist! Slip on the right heels and bitches…get hungry!
I think we did 20 shots.
