What a Wunnaful thing…

Some people cheat on others in the purest of luxury making each sinful moment a moment of forbidden bliss. Others (and like my dear friend Gay Adam informed me) cheat on people in dirty Soho toilets…the kind that have urine smeared all over the seat, toilet roll trodden into the floor, the phone numbers of escorts on the wall, and let over souls, of those with broken hearts. (Oh and maybe a few pills, that they forgot to scrape up.) I’m not keen of venues of that sort. If i was a cheater, i’d definitely go with luxury! *Drapes herself in diamonds-beckons the hottie toward her.*

Now, Gay Adam didn’t do the cheating, he is merely the messenger of a story that ended in break up. (Aww.) I hardly ever get to be the messenger, and simply because occasional messages are about my sorry (yet particularly glamourous) arse. But anyway, the gentleman that did the soho toilet cheating pokery (hilarious) is a boy of such a ‘baby face’ manner. A ‘being’ that you just would never expect to commit such a delicious forbidden act of *yucky.* It reminds me to becareful about who you trust! Not really in a bad insecure way, but more in an ‘i can’t be arsed with waiting outside a random toilet, whilst a bit of rent boy occurs,’ sort of manner. I’d laugh so hard, i’d die and well i’m not dying in Soho, by a pot where people urinate! Give me GLAMOUR!

I had a wonderful lunch today, by a manufactured ski slope. Loverboy was delicious and we shared kisses and cuddles, over Mediterraen chicken salad, and beef sarnies. I’m currently NOT drinking AT ALL. (Which i’m finding really difficult. UGH!) I didn’t realize how reliant i was on a bit of the boozey until now. But whocares, i’m doing it and i’m actually quite decent at it…for a potential drunkard. I do have an incentive…however, i believe this not drinking marlarky will just make me naughtier. I’ll act out, due to frustration…or for the simply reason of making up for all the lost jiggery.

Gorgeous day today! When Pete picked me up, i was mildy annoyed…but the kind when you’re not really, but trying to drag something out to prove a jolly old point. I’d been calling him non-stop for ages. (Bunny boilers rock! *Redial-Redial-Redial*) and well i got fed up of him not being able to pick up the phone. (But because i really don’t enjoy NOT getting my own way.) When he finally did, i got grumbly. But my *grumbly* never phases him. He’s like an emotional He-man, but with better hair and a bit black and he went out of his way ot make me smile.

Our convos were hilarious. We’d be merrily driving around Pontefract, in the sun to love songs, and he’d point out the most random things, simply to strike up a bit of *happy talky talk.*  (‘Oh Chrissie, can you see what’s on the field?’ I replied with a ‘What grass??’ Then i’d roll my eyes, and do a hair toss, as i turned my head away from him.’)

You’d think i’d be dead good at this ‘bitchy’ marlarky..but i’m a fool if there ever was one. I took one sneaky look at him throught he corner of my eye. I’m like a ninja, but a pervy one. I saw how absolutely drippingly GORGEOUS he looked. (He was all casual trendy with his new flat cap on.) I once again tried to find it in me to be evil…but his deliciousness got the better of me, and with a smile i forgave him. I was grumbly for about 4 minutes. Then we kissed..almost like *magic.* (I was totally in fushia, yellow and dalmation again today! It was friily skirt and boobie heaven galoreness!) Lunch was divine, except four people of the *special* sort sat next to us, and decided to smell like B.O, in the ski slope bar! I do like *special* people because they remind me of fairytale characters. These ones in particular kind of resembled red neck American hillbillies, with one tooth and partial hair. I think they were in tracksuits and wife beaters. They just looked really happy and i LOVED that. However, they smelt like pigs and that’s a ‘no go’ for any ‘being’ in Wunna land.  I don’t know? I just can’t handle b.o when i’m sober. It was hard enough trying to get my head around the ski slope thing?  Why bother? Go be in the SUN!! (However, it is fun to watch! It’s like watching your life *slope* before you…tumble after tumble.)  Oh and the fact that Loverboy tried to STEAL one of the *special* boys pints…means i have a decent man. He must have thought he was invisible because he had a hat on. (Aww Himbos rock.)

Got dropped off, watched the World Cup game, (Woohoo England) with my daddy. I completely LOVED it and I ran around screaming, shouting and pretending i was a brass band. Don’t ask? I get utterly excited and leap through the air, forgetting that there’s no soft landing. #storyof mylife. Those Slovenian footie players aren’t half tall. I’d come up to their belly buttons, and in my best heels!! But saying that belly button height can be quite handy when you want a free dinner. Our England boys did well!!! Made me proud to be a Brit today! I know, i’m a girly girl, but i do enjoy football and it’s simply because i enjoy anything that brings people together. Football, drinking, music, fun, sex, love and winking are all things that are a universal language. Something that everyone understands, where words need not be spoken. The action of the art takes the lead! It’s magical. It Wunnaful and it’s just the way i like it

Infact, Wazza pointed out that it’s the first World cup match that i’ve ever enjoyed sober. The last one, i was winking at hotties in LA in booty shorts (can believe the Americans did better than us!) Then the previous one, i believe i was losing my virginity outside a shit pub to a boy peopel used to call ‘The lizard king.’  I’ve changed so much…and i think it’s because i’m old.

On the whole life is brilliant. I’m really excited and keep forgetting about my ‘thing-a ling.’ Loverboy, looked at me today with eyes that told me i was the complete and utetr love of his life. No words were even needed. We both believe our whole lives were set up, just so we could meet each other and now we have each other, the other aspects of our lives…like work…can prosper. I’m the kinda girl that needs both. When i’m in love (and not just with anyone) i feel alive..and like I am invincible. That *invincible* feeling comes in handy when you have a career in showbusiness. *wiggle-giggle*

Something incredibly special has happened to me… (and not *special* like those buck toothed b.o. smelling ski slope boys.. ) I’m filled with such deep emotion that i can’t even find the words to explain how i feel? I’m currebtly having to keep it secret from cyberland and i find holding things in (apart from *willy* difficult.

I can’t believe a gaggle of teenage boys were scuffling behind me today and taking ‘up the skirt‘ pictures of me whilst i was walking aimlessly through ‘Xscape.’ The bad thing is…i had previously been to the loo and had my yellow frilly skirt tucked up into my knickers. The good thing is..they have a great sexual future ahead of them.

I’m in love, i’m living, i’m working and i’m changing. I really love the life that i have and i encourage you to love yours too! Living is an amazing thing…and you really don’t have to look too far to realize how great you have it. Now, i’m older, i’ve learnt to not take things for granted and to love and cherish any being, thing or moment i am blessed with. I swear down your gonna be okay…hold your head up high and muscle your way through. It’s the way i’ve played with life…and yeah i might have got a few bruises, red wine stains and ‘love hurts’ tags…but Dollies it works! Go forth and DO life YOUR way!

Anything can happpen…and at ANY time! 😉 I’m living slaggy proof!


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