What a WEEKEND!!! (Part 1)

Holy CRAP! I cannot even begin to tell you how AMAZING it feels to be ‘Chrissie Wunna’ right now. Life is great. It’s back to being how it used to be and i’m filled with joy that I finally wiggle and winked my way back to freedom and with love! When i say ‘ freedom’ I don’t mean it in the, ‘do whatever i want, single much’ kinda way. I simply mean that I’m no longer tied to anything remotely negative. I’m free from it and i’m enjoying every single waking moment of life…with a positive glow of FUN! Like I Tweeted and Facebooked the other day, life is about HAVING FUN and when you no longer are, you truly have lost yourself to the mundane grey of simple existence. I’ve been fun. I’ve been grey. So, I know how both feels. However, right now my balance is RIGHT! It’s like the perfect cocktail. Driving on a clear, sunny morning, Looking in that mirror and accidentally noticing how hot you look today or simply just watching you babies smile back at you. It’s exciting, is what i’m trying to say..but badly.

Bitches. I’m BACK. So let’s welcome Mama HOME!

So, i had worked all week. My Friday was really busy, so busy that my body actually ACHED from hard work. My mind felt numb with nonsense and on that Friday, because I had been sooo busy, whilst I was at work I couldn’t wait for a night on the tiles and bit of ‘let ya hair down!’ I wasn’t excited for it. I just NEEDED it, which really are two very different things!

I checked into a local hotel (Just the Premier Inn at Xscape, as there’s no good hotels in Ponty, so i went for nearest) and well I just flung myself into my room, kicked off my work shoes, poured myself a drink and relaxed. (I had driven STRAIGHT FROM WORK, with packed bags, not just for that night alone, yet because the next morning I would be travelling to LONDON to watch The Forbidden Nights Show, the UK’s HOTTEST Male variety act!)


So much has happened this weekend and mainly on Saturday, will will be my ‘Part 2’ blog that it’s hard for me to rewind, as i’m still filled with giddy excitement from my London trip and i’ve been at work all day, so my rewind seems quite a task. I’m a forward mover.

I had a few hotel cocktails, more than anything JUST CHILLED. My legs and back killed from being on my feet all day and I was KNACKERED. Absolutely knackered. However, even though there were moments where I found myself wondering if I should bother getting up off what seemed like the comfiest bed in the entire world ever..i went with FUCK IT, as even though i needed rest, life is about living. It’s important to DO THINGS. LIVE! So many people get caught up with ‘maybe I will’ then don’t. Or they do the ‘yeah, yeah i’m gonna…’ but then don’t. I’ve been that tooo and mainly when I the babies were tiny. However, now i’m back to being Wunna and if i can get out and do something, I WILL..always. I’m naturally social. Once an actual SOCIALITE and well a good times a good time. I feel popular right now anyhow, so i always figure i can create my own kinda fun, be it ace, dodgy or just chilled. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I waited for my friends to get out of work, go to all different places and annoy me. LOL. Y’see the thing about Ponty is the fact that we’ve all done it all. It’s a small town so there’s not much to see, or do. We’ve all done it a million times and everyone knows everyone else. It makes churning out a jolly good time much harder. Yet it can always still be done.

Anyway, no one really knew where they were going, and people were still getting ready or already getting chucked out of places. I had been invited out by everyone…so i chilled until i knew what i wanted to do. I mean, I knew that i wanted to hang out with old matey ‘Dodge’ but he was still in work until 9pm. So he told me to randomly message Ben…who i ended up meeting, 10 mins before ‘Dodge’ got to the pub for a Ponty night out, in a booby dress, which should never ever be done at The Broken Bridge.

Drinks occured. Cherry sour shots occurred. More and more people kept sauntering up to our the table that Ben, Dodge and I were at. All friends of friends…all quite prepared to get into a little state or giant state. You were on either team. There was no grey. There was definitely Team ‘Lets get trashed’ and Team ‘But I have to work in the morning.’ You know what team I was on… I did shots…with Ben and Dodge (Even though ‘Dodge’ was on the ‘I’m not going to Biggies because i have to work in the morning’ Team. Eww!) When i’m out, i hate it when people don’t want to stay out late. i try and force them…it never works. But i love ‘Dodge’ because he’ll definitely get pissed anyway…and he is the FUNNIEST FUCKING PISSHEAD EVER.

This photo happened…

..because he wanted to be in my weave, ๐Ÿ™‚

Lots of fun, lots of shots, lots of laughter, I was inappropriately dressed. People were talking about tomorrow night, chicks, pill heads and how they were definitely not going to ‘Biggies.’ Then a convo about the fucking ‘White and Gold’ or Blue and Black’ dress occurred, pink lottery ticket drugs, being old…and well more and more people seemed to be arriving at the table..as more and more drinks were getting forced down my neck….. i’m sure. ๐Ÿ™‚

Dodge’s mate Ben was cool, because he insisted on looking after me well, until he got really pissed and well I remember looking up and seeing him WORRYING and panicking in the corner because he didn’t like unpredictable evenings or something? LOL. Oh yeah…and he didn’t know what was going to happen during a night out with ME! (I enjoy that i have this party history of foolish behaviour. It terrifies people AND i have boobs…so if you’re a boy..you get scared. But yes. I loved everyone at the table. A new face named ‘The Other Ben’ who had gotten thrown out of The Winterseam rocked in and well Team ‘Go out’ were up for a good night. It was fun! At least I got out!

This then happened…

Now, this is what I call the ‘SEMI CIRCLE.’ When i go out with boys…it seems to accidentally form. I don’t know how and i don’t know why…but it does…and it’s hilarious. By now, even though the photo looks calm, everyone was pissed, there was a buzz in the air and there was laughter. Lots of people were snapchat adding me and Dodge was pissed off that his phone died. When the SEMI CIRCLE forms, it is time to move on.

We went to BIGGIES! It was fucking freezing outside. I had my parker jacket on in the pub because old men kept doing thumbs up at my boobies, so i didn’t feel the benefit.. so to speak.

Now, I go out a lot and I’m having a blast of recent. Yet I know that BIGGIES IS SHITE on a Friday. However, when you need fun and you need it in Ponty…and you’re pissed…’BIGGIES’ (Big Fellas nightclub) is where you will end up!

I was armed with a Ben to safe guard me, a police man (who’s ex was in there with another man) ย and a ‘pill head. ‘ (He was actually quite ย sweet guy to be honest. He was funny.)

You can imagine my night! ๐Ÿ™‚

‘Biggies’ was rubbish, packed and well it seemed that i was popular with the boys….or they were all just pissed and saw boobs? ย In the words of the other Ben, ‘Lads are all over you.’ That is exactly how it felt. I couldn’t take two steps forward without a boy popping out of nowhere. But i don’t mind. I love boys. (Apart from stupid ones that are 17, ginger and shitty to me. ๐Ÿ™‚ Yes, that happened. It was HILARIOUS. I’m the Ultimate Glamour Puss, Lol. You can’t ‘dagger’ eye me and be shitty to me, without your eyes accidentally burning out in a glitter frenzy and your boner WHACKING you between your eyes…if ya lucky. ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

Long story short…’Biggies’ was just ‘Biggies on a Friday. Nothing exciting, nothing to report really. Just drinking and dancing. AND SHOTS. The ‘Ben’ who was safe guarding me kept BUYING ME SHOTS AND panicking because he didn’t want me to ‘leave him’ on his own. Plus, he knew that i had a disgraceful reputation of idiocy, when it came to foolish acts of drunkeness. I wasn’t foolish at all ย on that night. At all. Nothing silly happened. I didn’t even send ‘Dodge’ my usual ‘I’m a disgrace’ message the next morning. I was as good as gold. Weird innit!

In fact, because i had worked hard all day, i was shattered. I knew i had London in the morning and a train to catch…

I left before the club left at around 3am and in a tired, moany huff, strutted off to the taxi rank, as Ben tried to force me to have a kebab (which I didn’t) and well he was a boy and pissed, soooo maybe went for the ‘try and get her to kiss me’ thing. HAHAHAHAHAHA. He was just pissed AND actually was such a gentleman that he even apologised for being so pissed the next morning. Lmao. (I never apologise for being pissed. I’m an ace drunk. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

I was being a DIVA, so i just marched off all moody, shouting, ‘I’m too tired, drunk and moody…i have LONDON in the morning…a train to catch’ and just like that, i was in a cab and gone. NO KEBAB. ๐Ÿ™


I really was exhausted.

As soon as I got to my hotel…i swung through the doors, rushed to the elevator, ran to my room…flung open my door, after doing the fiddly key thing…and in my utter exhaustion (and this was just from work) slipped all my clothes off, fell into bed (after setting my alarm for London) and SLEPT LIKE A BABY. Hotels are great for performing the ‘Naked pass out.’ I was literally knackered more than anything.

Woke up feeling FRESH AS A DAISY. Ben (who got a kebab) felt shitty and ‘The Other Ben’ felt weirdly fine! Oh, but definitely wanted to underline that he wasn’t ‘pulling Cougars’ (no… not Me…. lol…. some other Cougar) and that I was mistaken, as he was ‘just being nice’ to her. HAHAHAHAH. He’s ace!


That was it …showered, changed, check out, drove to Doncaster…Parker up, rushed into the elevator and raced to m train to LONDON…


To be continued…


HERE’S A PEEKY… (Forbidden Nights.)





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