What a way to find it….

Gorgeous morning! I’m  feeling on top of this magical world, filled to the brim with a juicy joy and loved like any pussy cat of ‘party’ should be! Hurrah!! (I can’t even see under my eyelashes. lol)

Now, today my pretty winks of an eye, isn’t just any day. TODAY is THE DAY, i tottered into my kitchen, made a delicious cuppa cuppa tea, hair-tossed like no other, whilst surrounded by pine, window sunlight and spice jars, felt an *itch* in my bra, reached in and FOUND £150!!! I found a random £150 IN MY BRA and i’m not even a prostitute! Woohoo!! (My nickname in Hollywood, with my Gay friends was ‘Hooker’ though. 🙂 )

I’m so happy about this whole ‘finding money in my undergarments’ marlarky. I mean usually people have to search the sticky floors of any trendy London nightclub,or sit in soiled subways with a *frown* and a ‘B’ for begging bowl. Others will kick the life out of a vending machine in order to *slap out* a few clunky dimes, and the good decent few munchkins of the world will actually commit to this liitle thing called ‘work’ for moola. I know!! Who’d-a-thought?However, ME…Chrissie Wunna…Glamour Puss Extra-ordinaire…I have itches, tiny ones, then whilst rummaging around my left bosom, I FIND MONEY!! A whole £150 of it! I don’t even know how it got there? But finders keepers, losers…well ‘losers’ i’ve probably dated you all! I’m dead good at finding money. I’m feeling lucky. This isn’t the first time. I mean i honestly found approximatey £400, that belonged to Mark Byron in my vagina..and you think criminals have ‘fishy green.’ Woohoo!’

Before the money finding moment, i had been dancing around the kitchen poorly, (even though i do believe i’m amazing, when no-ones watching) to everyone’s favourite happy songs, by the ever lip syncing S CLUB 7. I had a mango, whilst i ‘Reached for the stars’ and pondered how much I adored Kerry Katona. I really do. I’m oddly inspired by her and could seriously watch her forever. I find her bubbly, fun and hilarious..even when she was a big druggie. I guess I can just relate, we’re the same kinda ‘playful’ but with very different upbringings. I love her. I just want to give her a cuddle and a cocktail then dance like no other in her kitchen to ‘Rocking Robin.’ Then i had a bite of a potatoe cake and it made me feel rank.

I’ve been eating tremendously healthy, all ‘clean’ as they say it in LA. I’ve indulged my body with fresh juicy produce and yummy light ‘licky lips,’ that can turn any human being into a nutter. If i’m honest and i hate to admit it, I DO actually feel amazing…like so much better! I feel healthier, fitter, happy and i’m glowing. I guess ditching the booze and the fatty foods does make a difference. I did have a Big Mac last nigt (I’m not a strict dieter…haha…infact, i’m not a strict anything.) However, you may frown at me all you want. I think i did well! I mean, to begin with, switching to an actual burgery Big Mac, from a night time mouthful of HUMAN Big Mac, is another giant step up the ladder of Greatness. There’s a lot less in me…and yes i do feel healthier…infact more youthful! (And fucking’ell, i NEED that!)

Other than feeling wonderful, i will tell you that i’m travelling to London tonight, to go to bed at around 9.30pm and wake up at 4am for work. As soon as i’m finished at 10am, Saturday morning, I will be training my merry arse back to Doncaster, where i will firstly shop (to calm my nerves and spend time with my Mother) then prepare for my audition on Sunday. I’m expected to dance…but properly. 🙂 Lord help me…and whoever has to watch me. Delicious! *stumbles off stage- ends with a wink.*

I hope there’s some nice girls there and not some evil bitchy ones who attempt to terrify everyone. i do kinda hope everyone mildy sees me as competition, because i’ll beable to *strut* and *pout* then make them feel better about themselves, when i’m completely awful! If anything it will be hilarious! I love a good old laugh and well…i don’t think i’m a bad entertainer. I think i’m alright, when I try. This time round i’ll be sober though, which could make the whole process a little scarier. 🙂 I’m only adding to my story, i’ve got to at least try and make it interesting!

Loverboys about to pick me up. He’s late. I keep being fed up with him for not meeting Glamour puss boyfriend standards. ( I don’t know whats happened, but he’s definitely  slacking?) I’m only being a bratt, because I’m not getting as much attention as i would like, due to our passing work schedules. UGH! I’m a bit annoyed at him right now, if i’m honest. I do know he loves me, but i don’t like late and i don’t like ‘no attention.’ I infact, feel really attention whorey right now. It’s awful when i feel like this because i start being naughty in order to validate my existance. LOOK AT ME!!!! He’s on the motorway. When he arrives i’m going to be mean to him…for as long as i can be, because i’m hurt by his tardiness.

Anyway, i do have to go…and i am tremendously happy! I adore you all and wish you all the best. You’re gorgeous. You’re delicious and ME…well I think i have a pimple on my bum bum…that feels a little *ouchy.* 🙁  Meetings are currently being taken place in rooms, by people who are banging heads together in order to come up with a way in which they can shoot me to stardom. I do find it exciting…yet they’re coming up with cunning plans and i’m scratching pimples on my arse! There you have it…says it all really!