Weight for you, Weight for me…


God afters, my pokey little pecks of peep show. Two days and counting, with a hospital appointment at 9.20am tomorrow morning. Ugh! Lost my mucus plug last night, in the living room, as Keiran was trying to convince me that the new giant snazzy weights that he purchased are for BOTH of us and not JUST FOR HIM. Hmm..? As if a girl of my dandy sort would EVER lift big ‘Worlds strongest man’ weights. Whocares, if they’re ‘Blowflex’ and designed in a compact manner. I wouldn’t weight lift ever  and i wouldn’t  lift my own body weight with any of the handmade apparatus outside. He knows this. So although he’s being ‘hubby of the year,’ i’m sure that he could maybe squander some of his hard earned dough on proper gifts for me 🙂 OR stuff for the BABY. Yes! That little thing that we’re having in the next couple of days! 🙂 Men! Saying that, it’s good to splurge on yourself if you need to. I certainly have. It keeps you occupied and keeps you happy as you wait for the baby to arrive. So, i’ll give him that. Yet, alongside me purchasing things for myself, i’ve managed to find it in me to ‘cha-ching’ on the children at the same time. My vagina must have rejected his new weights, hence why it turned to mucus and unplugged down my leg. Delicious! Sorry for being creepy, so early on in my blog. Keiran’s in love right now and whenever he see’s me keeps galloping up to me, kissing me and telling me how much he adores me being his wife. He did it again this morning, as I laid in bed with Ruby naked in my new big Marks & Sparks knickers. (Comfy as can be!) Maybe it was because I was naked, because I have actually been his wife for ages now. Maybe he’s only just noticed and it’s only just sunk in? 🙂 Ruby cuddled me this morning like her life depended on it. I couldn’t even get her up for nursery because she enjoyed her kip so much. There was one point where she rose said, ‘Excuse me please mummy…,’ followed by a ‘Thanks,’ as she lovingly butted me off my OWN pillow so she could sleep on it, as it looked much comfier than hers. She’s been chatty and chipper all morning and well i’ve loved it. When I dropped her off at nursery this morning, they let me have a peek at her playing. She was adorable and immediately with a wiggle of confidence tottered in with a giggle waving at all the staff and her friends, then she went up to a group of girls with a smile and said, ‘Look at my jumper. Do you like it?’ Aww! (God, my hair is a state today! Hate it.)

Anyway, still no sign of baby. No breaking of waters. No anything. I now have man weights in my kitchen that need to get moved and well last night I glared at a tower of cardboard boxes in my living room that Keiran quite brilliant moved this morning before I woke. I’m impressed. He’s really good at getting rid of the things I don’t like. He’s flawless right now, i’m telling you. I even congratulated him on his flawlessness,last night in bed. I couldn’t currently have a better husband. He has been a dream over this last month. He’s really managed to pull himself together and glory glow like a champ…after a bit of a dodgy start.

So, i’ve ventured into town this morning. Drove back with a piece of my beige faux fur trapped in the door of my silver Mercedes. #Bouji. I felt my waddle today and it’s hardcore. I’m still eating as much as possible to make my belly drop further and trying to walk around in order to bring on the labour. I even bought coral nail polish to make myself feel better mid-waddle and cancelled my spray tan, because it seems i’m heading into Doncaster in an hour with my mum. God, just doesn’t want me to have a tan this time round! If you see me out and about today and you have a tin of tan on you, instead of saying ‘hello’ just give me a squirt. I’ll appreciate you more for it. You know you’re desperate when you’re asking people to ‘squirt’ on you. 🙂 Wiggle-Wink*(I want better hair now.)

I ordered new wardrobes 2 weeks ago and well I wondered where they were, so i went to go threaten the guy in the store today to find out where they went, only to find that they did actually attempt to deliver them 3 times last week. (Ooops!) But because I didn’t know their number and they didn’t leave a message, I didn’t know that they were looking to arrange the deliver. LEAVE A VOICEMAIL DUDE. I don’t answer to numbers that i don’t know and that’s not as weird as needing to talk to someone to arrange a delivery and not leaving a voicemail.It takes 2 seconds and it’s BUSINESS. I’ve paid for them already.

So, i’ve been given their number and i’ve called and called and called. No-one’s picking up, so i’ll just call another 40 times until  they do. Give me storage! (God, I need to get out of these jeggings. Maybe I can get a spray tan in Doncaster. Where is this baby! I can’t believe i’m gonna have to have a ‘stretch out’ tomorrow. I thought it was FRIDAY. It’s devastating.)

Okay, i’ve got nothing else to say now, other than the fact that I’m back to my initial fruit cravings and i adore you all for tuning in. Hopefully, i’ll be telling you i’ve had the baby shortly. If not, sit back, kick off your kitten heels and have a cocktail for me. Maybe even *push* a little, to send me good vibes and make my lazy son arrive as pronto as can be. (Ugh, i’ve got a snotty nose. Never good when you’re gonna go into labour.)



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