We all love a bit of Red Meat

I need to stop abusing sausages when drunk. I keep trailing in, finding them, (God knows how i keep finding them, but they do seem to be laying around, all cooked and frigthened whenever i’m drunk) and in a midst of my drunken hunger, I keep stabbing them with anything i can find and shoving them into my mouth. When i say sausage, i do mean of the MEAT variety. However saying that, both ‘sausages’ are of the meat variety? One comes with a side of mash and the other comes with a round of emotional pain, a phone number, a few cheesey lines and if your lucky a round of herpes. I need to stop. EVERYTIME i trail in, all heeled and tipsy, i wander into my kitchen after struggling to figure out, how to actually make my house key, open my door . (It’s really hard when drunk, when the only light you have is of the sensor variety…which makes me look like a witch at the best of times.) It took me about 15 minutes. I was standing there in an outfit of delicious ‘hoochie,’ fiddling, and tinkering, and swearing with frustration. The door swung open, i tumbled in…i stabbed a sausage. BE ME!

Anyway, last night, i was meant to go to home of ‘Loverboys’ parents for a bit of ‘oooh laaa,’ love and togetherness. At around 8pm, i see him driving down my dirt track, so i totter on out armed with a wink in my eye and a pair of jubblies, in a shrunken yellow cardy, over an pink tube top, snake skin heels and denim skirty. We kissed, we bantered, we made each other smile…(he’s getting a lot more comfortable now around me…i hope?) Then mid ‘scenic route’ drive, we make the executive decision to get drunk in a nearby pub, instead of going to his parents house. I think they were meant to be going out, but instead were staying in. Therefore we kissed more, we pulled over and then we bought a bottle of wine, followed by vodka. We had fun. It was kinda like a cuddly, romantic, but funny time. From the moment we stepped into the pub, (the whole place, which was filled with groups of men and the odd girl, here and there) EVERYBODY sort of glared at us and watched our every move..and the whole entire time. I’m kinda immune to it now, because i’m used to it and i do love it. (I am an attention whore, afterall.) However, i did out the corner of my eye watch him, to see how he would sort of react. He did well…and loved it. He looked like he was really proud to be with me and found it mildy humourous. But then we found a quiet corner table away from everyone, cuddled up and talked…(whilst getting pissed.) We’re learning a lot more about each other now and each time we do talk, it gets juicier. Last night we talked about our exes, getting married and having baby boy. If he had a kid, he would want a boy. I would want a girl, so i can dress her up like a celebrity at the age of 4 months. I mean, i wouldn’t know what to do, if i had a angry, football playing, boy? (Other than sleep with it. 🙂 )

Lots of fun, lots of banter, then i just so happened to mention something to him, mid-tipple, that someone had done as a joke. One of his friends had left me a message that wasn’t from him, but they kinda pretended it was. I obviously found it funny. I’m of a ‘silly’ nature and i do things like that all the time. Therefore i told him thinking he’d just roll his eyes and laugh it off, with a ‘my friends are knobs.’ BUT NO! Omg! He’s really sensitive when it comes to things like that, because he saw it as someone trying to embarass him, or make him look stupid, in order to ruin his chances with me. Lol. For a good five minutes, he was all embarrased and mildy angry. I did try and console him, but i was rubbish at it, because i did it with wine, cuddles and laughter. I have a GREAT sense of humour, so to me it didn’t matter. But it did make me realize how into this relationship he is and he doesn’t want anyone, or anything to threaten it. He had to go have a five minute moment in the toilet to himself to breathe. But when he came out, he saw the funny side to it all, and we were back to banter, laughing and smooching. (Funny that we were talking about our exes…because as he went to the toilet, Jonny was bbming me…he does pick his moments bless him. lol. Jonny is everywhere…like a fucking spy! Haha. I think he was at Embassy or something and our song, which is apparently ‘

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