Water Diets, Lady Parts, Breakups & Shocks


Quick blog before work!

Well yesterday, i ventured to the hospital early, to pop a giant hormone pill, have a great team of staff talk to me, and make me aware of all sorts of consequences, (I’m rubbish during those bits, I just nod, smile and half listen,) before I dashed back to work to see the rest of my day through. I didn’t end up feeling sick and I knew I wouldn’t if I went back to work, as there’s a sense of ultimate pride with me. I’d die before i puked up infront of people at work. Lol. (I mean I would if I was hungover, but if i’m actually ill or going through a procedure, I style it out.)

Whilst I was at the hospital, I got a *shock.* I was so *shocked* that it made me shout ‘WHAT!!!!!’ In a quiet room. (I’d never do that.) But yes, I told you how Ben had been all ‘missing in action’ during the whole of this process…and it’s been fine him not being there, as I have better support with my Mum, as it’s her field of work and she won the nation’s award for it. I’m safer. Lol. In fact, wait…no. I’m pissed off that Ben couldn’t be arsed to be bothered, because when Nick was ill in the hospital, he asked to borrow £10, so he could dash there within minutes. When I go through a pregnancy, a miscarriage, a baby scan, a bleed out, a termination…a circus of events…ALL TO DO WITH HIM, he’s gone, which makes me evil, i’m sure. Saying that, he’d make me drive him to my bleed out tomorrow if he was going. But yeah, aside from all that…he’s now going to get a shock that will make him go ‘WHAT!!!’ Luckily for me…i’ll be dandy…However, he will have to get a little letter in the post in a couple weeks, which will send him on a mini drama trail. And just like he did with me…I’ll leave him to it. 🙂

(I can’t tell you all about it yet, as it’s far too embarrassing.)

Anyway, got to work, My Mum drove me, enjoyed my day, worked through it like a champion. Didn’t even cry into tea? Hormone pills? I swear I was be a stone cold ice Queen, as my emotions where no where to be seen. My inner bitch dissolved the estrogen. Well that’s what I told my favourite policeman Lee, who again popped in from his time of ‘saving the world?’ (His words, not mine.) Like I said, I enjoy his brotherly banter..and I enjoy making him feel nervous about babies and marriage. I’m not your best example though. However, yesterday, my hormone pill, did make me feel all swelly…like I was some Goddess, about to have 700 children, all full and in bloom, all happy and bright…like I was about to make like Mother Mary and saddle up my donkey to ride through Bethlehem looking for an inn. 🙂 (I actually said that out loud.)

THEN, Lydia, (my work colleague) who I adore because she’s a fashionista, decided that I was old and that I was going to get wrinkles and in order to stop me from doing so, she was putting me on a ‘drink more water’ diet, so I could look like a ‘supermodel.’ I’m shit at drinking water. Rubbish at it. I did a mug and a sip…but i’m the Queen of carrying water around, in a mug, in a bottle, in a whatever…cupped hands if necessary, but will I bollocks drink it. I’ll just leave it somewhere or chuck it.

Today, I’m going to ace it. I mean if Lydia can do it, I can. Jesus. Not that it’ll make any difference right now…this is my last shift, before my big, THURSDAY. I’m weirdly looking forward to it, as sick as it sounds, as it finally puts an end to the circus.

Relationship dissolution’s shouldn’t end like this, i’m sure!!! Lol. I would rather of had a drunken, ‘i hate you’ text, than finish up, with me sat in an ass out gown, in some hospital, with humans peeking inside my vagina. It’s such a carry on. It’s hilarious, in the most awful and disturbing way. 🙂 Don’t fret, I’m made of glitter bricks. I’m a toughie. I’ve survived much dodgier situations with bells on. 🙂






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