Trying to achieve…

Was feeling quite ‘case of da blues.’ However now i’m fine. I can’t decided whether i managed to get ‘cheered up# by good gents, with great senses of humour about sex, cum and jiggery pokery..who bop along to fine office tunes that make them believe that they are ‘sexy and they know it,’ or whether i’ve managed to fully wake up now. Regardless..i’m utterly missing my ‘Handsome Keiran,’ but on the whole..i’m happy. (Just had a convo with office boys. I wanted to know why men feel the need to inform us that they are about to ejaculate, when they are about to …well…ejaculate. They do don’t they!! Weirdly, ‘Quiff Chris’ said he never informs the girl…he merely says’ Sorry..sorry…sorr..*spurt.* This isn’t really morning talk…so i’ll stop. 80% of me is divine and 20% of me is on a downer, simply because there’s a little something i currently want in life that i don’t have…and when a Wunna wants…they WANT wholeheartedly until it aches.

Okay, so i had school girl sex last night. Ruby was having ‘Grandma’ night, therfore Keiran and I decided to step up our game and get  ‘jiggy wid it’ in the fashion of ‘school girl in dentention.’ (Don’t judge.) I *dolly* tottered on upstairs, after he suggested such a bit of funnage,  at The Castle for dinner an hour before I rummaged around the spare room frantically, until i thought I looked mildy ‘school girl.’ Infact it t kinda narked me off because i had left all my ‘glamour’ stuff at my i had to be a half rate school girl. I hate that. I mean, if you’re going to do a job, do it amazingly, right? I wanted to be ‘DIVINE.’ Instead i looked like a …twat. Like i was off  ‘Grange Hill’ or something?

Anyway, in a tie, two piggy tails, geek glasses, a thong, boobs, thigh high socks and an open school girl shirt..i tottered downstairs to greet my ‘handsome’…and we bonked like championies, who had never been so in love. I actually looked like a twat and was all insecure because i had just gotten my period and felt dumpy. Like a fat school girl, who didn’t know how to be naughty. Luckily…Keiran loved it anyway ( ‘I honestly have the most beautiful wife EVER. yOU ARE beautiful…’) and we spent the rest of the night cuddling on the sofa before bed. (His eyes hurt. I had a rum)

There’s a lot about our relationship and our connection that people don’t see. I mean, Keiran and i are deeply and truely connected. The moments that no-one else sees are moment of utter magic and sincere love. Last night, we sort of laid on in bed naked, listenning to the wind howling outside in the dark and we talked ‘life.’ We’ve both got an exciting future and well we’re each others hand to hold for security through the same time guarding baby Ruby from the horror of the world and giving her the best we can find for her! No-one sees those moments, or understands them but us. We’re two very pre-judged beings, but if there were ever two peopel made for each was us. We are completely the same and we work. But it’s just on a completely other level of love. We’ve learnt so much about love, life, the world, ourselves and each other in the time we’ve spent together and well i thought ‘fairytale’ was the peak of our union, but it’s goes a great deal further and a whole lot deeper than that. We are each other’s world. I’ve never felt this way for another being before…that’s how we know it’s FOREVER.We had a simple, but amazing converstaion last night…i tell this boy everything..i like that i can look at him in the dark and see him for who him for who he truely is without question or judgement. For the first time i’m happy. I’m impressed by him…even when he’s in his simpliest form. (He had my period pains for me this morning. He even had to tuck his hoodie into this joggers to keep warm. I learnt how to squeeze his balls appropriately mid-*giggle.*)


I have a great deal on my mind right now and i’m ‘spinning plates.’ My head is going at 100 mph and well i’m a warrior. I’m a fast moving, want to achiever and now that i have been blessed with the ability to make my dreams and my families dreams come true simply via my book, i’m JUICED, excited and filled to the brim with mental dynamo. The problem with this, is that it makes my head think ALL OF THE TIME. i foudn myself laid away at 4am this morning, naked, under the sheets, ‘handsome’ to my right just staring at the ceiling in hectic thought. Sometimes, i can’t believe my luck. Yet i still h ave along way to go. I’m ambitious,w e all know this…but i’m now in a stage where i’m actually going to do it. I’m sitting infront of a desk right now…and to be honest, i’m having to simply write this blog right now, in order to empty it of stress and a chunk of mind litter.

I have a great deal of opportunity, so i intend to stay out of drama, toruble, other people’s negativity, be with the ones i love and not waste my time on the silly ‘hoo-haaa’ of life. I know what matters to me and i finally have my priorities adjusted and on track. I feel internally AMAZING. I’m pinching myself. I’m breathing. Part of me is down, due to a little bit of a let down…but i’m strong, glitzy and picking this ball up, ready for the roll!

Welcome to my world…

Ps/ My publsiher text me last night stating that she had been weeing herself with laughter, whilst editing my book. Hopefully she means it’s great and not that she has weak bowels? 😉  EXCITED!

Thank you for following my life…

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