Trust, Men and Working away…


Morning all! I’m back to feeling stressed and i have no idea why? However, the good thing is my ultimate fear of delighting the shingle shimmie once again, is enough for me to attempt to grab my calm cool aid and breathe my way out of it. There is no reason for me to be all ‘ooh-aah-noo-no’ AT ALL. I have no idea what’s wrong with me..but Dollies i need to wiggle that wink and strut away from it all.

I now know why i always have half shit hair. I’ve just sat infront of the mirror, made a mild attempt to curl 3 parts of it. Got very bored and frustrated after the 3rd roll and then out of utter kitty cat impatience gave in, with a giant snatch (not that snatch 😉 ) of my hairspray, flung my head upside down and spritzed it until it could no longer move, with a hand scrunch. How ANYONE can be bothered to ‘do hair’ i have no idea. I find it boring. I’m a girl with a rather short concentration span. Once something has taken too long, be it my hair, a boy, a meal, or a dream, i’ve over it before it even began. (I’m writing my blog knelt down on the floor, like a toad…with tits. Keiran has just crept around the corner with a crawl and attempted to ‘boo’ scare me. I just looked at him with daggers and said, ‘You should be trying to love me, not terrify me.’ 🙂 Apparently, he thought it would be funny. The real reason why he did it is only because he wants to sex me up, by the fine art of flirty scare crawl. AND OH LOOK. He’s just turned around, stepped over me and said, ‘Can we have sexy time??’ 🙂 ) I enjoy knowing men, better than they know me. I love my little Keiran. But i hate that he’s working away a lot now. I’m not a fan of the ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ theory. For me, it doesn’t work. I can only either do ‘full on there’ or ‘act like you are never ever there.’ I’m an all or nothing kitten. Meaning it’s really hard for me to yo-yo from one minute you’re here and the next minute you’re gone thing. It toys with my heart and makes it all confused. I’ve only ever dated one boy who worked away a lot. He went away for one month, with no contact because he had to go to Morocco. By the time he had returned and knocked on my door, exactly one month later. (This was in LA by the way.) I had already moved on, got over him and began my new chapter.) But i did get Moroccan bangles and well he just wasn’t the right boy for me. I had already got my ‘Hollywood’ on and emotionally detached.

Keiran on the other hand is my perfect boy. Making the ‘working away’ thing much much harder, because i have to learn to deal with it. UGH! I don’t enjoy learning to deal with things. I’m sure i have abandonment, trust and ‘need to be constantly adored’ issues. Add wine to that and you have trouble. 🙂 But whatever, i think it makes me sexy and well he has the exact same problem. There’s not one bit of me that likes him ‘working away-then coming back-then working away-and coming back.’ It’s like living on the edge of an emotional glitzy ‘yo-yo’ of love and well i don’t yo-yo…i strut. It’s hard, but he loves it and well if you can’t let a gent do what he loves, then you have problems. Lol. Plus, i’m quite hypocritical..because if i’m away working…i’m away working and i adore it whole heartedly with a giggle. 🙂 I’ll learn to not be a bratt one day. 🙂 Keiran leaves again at 7am tomorrow morning and i’m meant to be on ‘This Morning.’ We’re trying to do well and with a little bit of patience, understanding and a whole lot of love…we’ll get there. I love him.

Okay, so last night i had to tinker into my old Facebook account. I say old, but it’s not. It’s just one of them and i’ve had to have three now. That inbox is ferocious. Now i adore my inbox, i do, i do However, when you look in it and read messages from boys who have girlfriends i know and girlfriends i don’t know, even wives, and brand new little babies. It kinda makes you ‘urk’ a little. Are men to be trusted? By the look of my inbox of 437, with approx. 311 of them from men…no. THEN i remember discussing the issue with one of my guy friends. A good guy friend. He told me that he was dating a girl, told me her name and threw me over his mobile to look through his text records! OMG!!! You had never seen so much text flirting with other girls. It doesn’t make me sad, it just makes me wonder? Can a man ever be true to one girl…and not flirt, call, text, sleep with etc..etc with others?

All you can do as a kitten is love life, love you and trust and well in my mind that’s the best way forward. It all comes out in the end because hormones get the better of us girlies and we can’t help but get to being gobby. But on the whole i’m happy. However, if you are a gent and you have  a lovely girlfriend, a baby, a wife or anything that you care for. You only really have to love, protect and cherish her. Thats all you have to do, which isn’t that hard. ‘The distraction of a chica, in a corset, or a bit of sexy past really isn’t worth the drama. My father always told me it’s only an insecure male, who tends to such behaviour. But there are men, who can’t do anything but love, adore and utterly cherish the girl that they can’t help but need. I 100% believe that and know that there are wonderful males who only know how to love and when you have faith in your man, it’s funny how obedient they become. I have a great man, who i pretty much trust implicity. Yet wouldn’t it be funny if i said that and Keiran had an inbox, or a text stream of ‘urk.’ You just never know do you? I think ignorance is bliss. Lol.

Love you Dollies! I hope Robin the gardener comes today! I’m dying for my lawn MOWED and now! *Wiggle-wink.* I need coffee, oh and a hair-doer. Celebrate life, enjoy who you are and stand firm on your choices..with a hair-toss.


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