Total Wife Material

OMG this is how champion a girlfriend i am. ‘Loverboy’ calls me at 1.30am last night. (Well I called him. Great, i’m already lying and it’s not even night time.) Anyway, yeah i call him for a bit of ‘i love you, sleep tight’ chitter chatter, like ya do. I mean, i do love him and yeah i’d much prefer him to sleep tightly, as opposed to loosely, as ofcourse that could be messy. I’m a Glamour puss that enjoys precision nowadays. Messy Wunna died in 2005. (Of herpes.) *Checks crotch.* As if!! I don’t get herpes. Herpes and the rest of it’s itchy clan, are TERRIFIED of me.

Fuck, i keep getting distracted and rambling on about my privates! (Classy!) So yeah, i’m on the phone to my little peach of Petey and he was all total *sad face.* Much to my SHOCK, i asked him why (see, how nice of me, to not talk about myself for once) and he replied with a ‘i don’t think you fancy me anymore and i just don’t ever want us to end, or for our relationship to ever become normal.’ So, there’s me thinking, ‘wow i’m such an AMAZING girlfriend’ and ready to adorn my pretty self with medals and rubies and CHAMPION flags, when  my other half…the boy part of the union, thinks i don’t love him anymore. That’s how wonderful a girlfriend i am. I’ve made him feel unloved. HAHA. OMG! I’m terrible.

Luckily we’ve rambled it all through. I mean i thought i was being super affectionate and declaring my adoration my kitten  and his body to thousands across the world. *Bimbo confused face here.* Anyway, it seems, i was, i was right and that he was just a bit terrified of losing his little Puss in high heeled boots, (thank you Edd Clay) that he thought he’d play with insecurity for a good five minutes. It’s now back on the shelf and left for another rainy day of ‘ooh.’

Long story short, we’re back on track and all loved up. (Wow..my book of love would only be 2 pages long.) I’m now groomed and getting picked up to have sunday dinner with his family. #happy. I know right..a family that will actually tolerate me for a while. Woohoo! *Wink-pout*

I will say before i have to rush off, that if another small child puts an insect infected buttercup under my chin to see if i like butter…i’m going to have to slap them. I don’t want ants ON MY FACE and have you not seen these hips…I LIKE BUTTER!

*Wink* Love you. Have a Great Bank Holiday!! I feel like being ACE today…which does translate as ‘Annoying.’