Hi my little pieces of shag! Well i’m knackered, but figured i might aswell write this now since there’s no way i’m gonna beable to get up early enough to attempt to ‘blog’ in the morning before i bully off to Birmingham at some bull shit of an hour to be Burmese and show off a little. I love a bit of ‘look what i can do.’ (Yeah whatever, i know it’s not much, but F-off..it works for me.)
I spent my day at my old school today in Ackworth. I went to a posh boarding school. I turned up. It gave me the heebie jeebies and then after a quick once over i left armed with a ‘Wazza’ to a nearby pub and got drunk with other fellow former pupils who knew me OFF THE TELLY (bitches!!) I did actually have fun.
Drank loadsa wine, had a few gins, chin wagged about my boobs, life, love and how much of an awful being i am. Loved meeting up with old faces. Then was joined by my Pontefract maties who too enjoyed a few cocktails, and a couple of spuds. Ended up walking around the pubs of Ackworth and boozing up in the cold, with girls who talk about cocks, deformed balls and how they haven’t had sex in ages. Then there was more talk about big fat dick, hanging balls, big elephant balls, and small penis’…followed up with a side of Trisha Goddard and Cilla Black. ‘Cilla’ has apparently got spat on and slapped during sex and ‘Trisha’ doesn’t noticed big hangy balls on men during a bit of ‘rumpy’ until she puts her specs on.
Then there was talk about 11 year olds who finger bang each other behind bike sheds, vodka, lime and lemonades, a couple of ugly looking chavs and a discussion about a merry land of Diggers. Then i went through an ‘I’m tired, it’s raining, i have to be burmese tomorrow and i need to go home,’ moment….therefore being a woman of my word…I DID! Booyah!
I’ve just got off the phone to little Jonny Taylor who i can’t help but adore. We talked each other tired and slagged a few humble beings off. He’s definitely becoming one of my closest allies right now in this chapter of life…and i hope he holds on and stays on in it. (As that ofcourse would be nice and it would save any uneccessary ‘thud thud’ heart ache much.) Yet as we know..in Wunnaland, ‘love’ just doesn’t stick around too long. It gets pissed off at me and does one in the other direction, then feels awful months afterward and begs me for chances, after seeing my career step up a notch.
I now can’t see, because during the process of this blog i’ve managed to remove my contacts, so i’m peacing out. It’s hard to type blind on any day really. God I don’t know what i’m doing in life? I’m lost, confused and really need a map i can read when drunk. I just hope it all turns out right in the end. If not i’m pretty much fucked. But ‘fucked’ is what i really do best. I thought i needed to pull myself together, but all i really need is some sleep. Why are my kittens on crack?????
Night night you tramps!