And like a champion, i strutt in, all full of ‘Ooh Laa’ & smiles and save the day! Hoorah! Pink champagne all around!!! It’s 5.10pm, i’ve just got back from ‘Ponderosa’ (an animal rescue centre) in Castleford, where i had a merry wonder around, (dressed like i was about to walk a red carpet,) to see what was on furry offer. OH MY GOD!!
To be honest, i’m not a full on, chain myself to the railings, become a vegan, knicker throwing animal lover, but i do like a good domestic pet. How can you not, right? So the kennels are all muddy and cold… delightful place…but just muddy and cold. God decides to throw a few hail stones down on me, but i didn’t really care as my F****** outfit was to die for, in any weather. I get escorted into what looks like ‘jail cells for pussies,’ all bright lights, concrete with white iron cages, by a half cheery and very Yorkshire, animal friendly Kennel-like Lovely.
Okay, i’m eyeing them all up…the Pussies that is, and forgetting that they’re actually homeless and orphaned. I just figured people had left them there, whilst they went on vacation, and were gonna pick them up, after a brief 2 weeks in St.tropez. They’re there ‘cos nobody cared about them enough. The most beautiful little Pussies, and with no-one who gives 2 squirts about them! (Aww…) So i look at the lady and even though i was a tad bit moved, i quite demanding (armed with an attitude problem) yelled…’Yeah, i wanted KITTENS.’ (haha, bad i know! But i really did go there for kittens, not grown up, already have a mind of their own CATS!)
I get ‘huffed’ at and shoved towards the next cage, and inside peering at me were the world cutest, sexiest, a bit posh, and terribly vain kittens. All striking a pose for me, being a bit egotistical, probably thinking ‘Um, No Bitch please’ and being completely irresistable. They worked IT out!! (Awwwww…! ) For the first time in my life, i was all ‘oooey-gooey’ (and i don’t mean in my panties…obviously. First time? As if, Sailor! I’ve had you, AND all your drunken Sail Mates.) So i decided to buy all THREE!! Yay!! I just couldn’t pick one, and it’s not like i don’t have a lot of room, and since it’s Christmas…Yay!!
I get them Wednesday! I’m so ‘naked- jump up and down’ excited! I don’t think i’ve ever felt this happy! And there you have it, i proved that Kittens ARE totally for Christmas, and i encourage EVERYONE to get ya pretty arse down to your nearest rescue centre and pick out a Pussy! No joke, really..there’s millions of them, go save a soul! It makes you good with God!