Things Are About To Change…

Okay, so i’m back home after a rather awfully emotional weekend. I need to stop drinking, as i feel like i’m pretty much doing really well at ruining everything and in true Chrissie Wunna styly. I’m being quite destructive and i don’t know why? Yeah i’m mentally ill. Yeah i’m the Queen of Funning too far. But something is really wrong with me. I just need to figure out what? Usually during a time like this, i commit to doing a runner and flying off to my other country of residence in denial to hide and start a whole new fresh load of trouble. However, this time i’m sticking it out because i’m having to. Therefore hopefully what hurts you makes you stronger, otherwise i am seriously FUCKED!! I’m a mistake maker and i need to stop. I need a permanant ‘naughty step’ duct taped to my arse…and a quick dose of ‘grow up.’ So i’m about to talk to the people who love me the most, the people who know me the most, the people who no matter what are always there for me and the people who always see the ‘good’ in me and hopefully I’ll get myself back in check. I’m happy. I’m strong. Lost myself a little bit. But things are about to change…I like a bit of a change, so i’m i’m quite positive right now. I’m lucky to have a team of ‘ soldiers’ to help piece me back together. And i’ve realised that i’m a lot more of a better person than i ever thought i was? I’m in shock…. Everyone is currently having a go at me right now. But to the ones that aren’t…THANKYOU!! (You’re kindness is greatly appreciated.) I’m an idiot.

Did lots in London. Although it is a total awful blur. I’ve been the happiest ever, then the saddest ever. I’ve laughed out loud, and cried out loud…like infront of people…like an idiot. (Lol) I’ve have great nights, shit nights and well i just feel like i can’t really talk about anything right now…until i feel a bit better. I know, sorry for being a party pooper. But i need to figure it all out in my head first. I’m not a fan of emotional rollercoasters. It puts me off most things.

Last night i was at a radio station with Samuel, Rex and Greedy Mo. After spending the day in camden. Lots of booze. A string of embarrasing moments…that i’m not gonna go on about. I feel like an idiot!! (You guys are making me more and more closed off.) And well i just remember being in one of those bicycle cart things, with Sam at like 1.30am, laughing, screaming and waving at our imaginary fans! Everyone was glaring at us like they wanted us to die, but like i always say it’s a medium i flourish in. We fucking LOVED it!!!

Ended up at a house party in Shoreditch, with my best gays ever. Had champagne split on me at least 17 times. Did brunch this morning at ‘PROFILE,’ with Josh, Joe & Sammie and It’s an AMAZING new trendy diner in soho, that you totally NEED to go to. I liked it A LOT!!

I really will tell you everything that happened in another blog…i’m just going through my messages, sorting my head out and well about to talk to the people who know me best. I’ll feel better later, i’m sorry i’m a bit ‘sad face’ right now. I just need a little ‘normal’ time. I am officially pathetic.

Winks x