Then you add booze

‘Okay so, I need you to go ahead and massage them with cream, everyday to help soften them up,’ said the naughty nurse to the little slutty asian girl. Asian girl nodded, as her boobie bandages were REMOVED!! Wooo-hoo!! (Beer! Beer! BEER! Beer!) It was total girl on girl action. And although i’m still a little stiff (Mmmm), and still a little cautious, it seems my boobies are dandy!! I have zero bruising, no more swelling, my scars are not noticeable, and (to all those people who said my muggins would be rock McSolid,) they ALREADY feel like jelly. (BOOYAH!) It’s fun, they’re squishy, and just like real ‘but totally fake’ boobs! A couple days of massaging, and i’ll be able to really enjoy them! (oooh Laaa…) My body still doesn’t feel 100% well, (due to fear of moving to fast, which is getting annoying, as i have to get my sorry arse back to work shortly), my mother keeps telling me (infront of everyone at Subway) to ‘STICK them out, so people can see them,’ (hahaha), and now i have boobs, i think i should add BOOZE!! (DRink it, Lillian!!) Infact, i might have one now, to celebrate. Knowing me, i’ll probably pass out cold, and split myself open…um…that didn’t come out right? Hahahaha! (Dirty mare)

I’ll check in later, as i’m pathetically working on operation ‘Man Up, you Frilly tart,’ so i can get back to work before my agent kills me. I love you, and thanks for listenning to me ramble on, about not much! It’s funny, every male i call now, pretends that they’re listenning to what i’m actually saying, by doing the randomly placed ‘Yep…yep…uh-huh…yep,’ for about 7 mins, then out of nowhere says, ‘I bet you’re massaging your boobs right now!’ Pervs!

5 thoughts on “Then you add booze”

  1. quality chrissie your thrupneys sound the guvna babe and have a few nelson mandelas for me tonight babe i hope u have a mustard weekend chrissie

  2. I swear to God, I need some kind of dictionary to translate half of what Scratch says.

    How did “beer” become a “Nelson Mandela,” for example? What is the significance of “mustard” as a descriptive? And can a plural (“thrupneys,” surely the first time I’ve heard that word ever, let alone to describe breasts) be a singular (“the guvna,” aka “the governor”)?

  3. well we aint all gramatically correct brett. and nelson mandela is what us cockneys call stella. mustard as in hot like mustard and the guvna is how we spell it mush. i wll massage your new thrupneys for u chrissie if u need a hand as it is well known fact that us essex boys are the best in the world for massaging fake guns have a good weekend chrissie

    ps m sorry if how i spoke offended u brett but i aint gonna change shun im from my manor and proud of it

  4. hahahahaha!! Bretts american Scratch.. he’s not familliar with cockney rhyming McSlang! I LOVE it, and YES, i’ve heard boys from Essex will pretty much massage anything with fake knockers n a bittov muff!

    And Brett- It’s not hard….. ‘Mandella’- ‘Stella’….hellooooo? It rhymes!!

    Love you both….(when drunk)

  5. cushtie cheers for clearing that up chrisssie and im sorry if i got a bit defensive bret im just proud of where im from shun have a good weekend both of u


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