The Saturdays, Princes & Really Big Wees

Just got back from watching ‘The Saturdays’ (if you are from another land and you don’t know who they are, they are a British Girlband) at The Forum in Camden for the ‘Impulse Diaries.’ It was one of those fun, intimate (ooh laa) gigs, where family, friends and competition winners were invited…and pretty much i think they just needed to film for the new year, so they made everyone come to ‘make like’ it was a ginormous concert. But whatever…I LOVED it! I actually think i AM a ‘Saturday’ now..I know their moves and everything. Mollie (the blond one) is my favourite…she looks the most ‘ooh laa,’ and is AMAZING! I actually wanted to fight a fan for a ‘Mollie board’ that was hanging from the ceiling. He was having none of it…and asking for his picture with me. I loved him…but i wanted that board! Haha..

I mean to be honest at first (and because i was trying to sober up) i was a bit bored and because DJ Ironic, (who was the support act) was on. I mean he was good, but i pretty much just wanted the girls to be on, so i could get my boobies (that have shrunk…UGH..kill me) and ‘shimmie’ them madly to cheery pop music. I had a wonderful time. I mean, it was fun, and i felt like i had done something with my day….even though they only did 5 songs, the presenter got booed and i was far too drunk for my own good. (You know you’re far too drunk, when you actually have to pretend that your actually sober.) I did really love it though. I got to get my ‘kitten stomp’ on. I got to work ‘it’ like Molly. But the odd thing was that, they finished their glamourous set, did all their ‘thankyous,’ ran off stage joyously,  but then had to reluctantly trollop back on and do a song again. Yet not because they wanted to..and i don’t blame’em..I mean..surely they just wanted to go back to the dressing room and get pissed, but HAD to, because the lighting was wrong for ‘filming.’ It kinda took the ‘glamour’ away from it all. People were already walking out. I mean, as soon as they we’re done, ‘re-performing’ one of the tracks, they kinda just didn’t even look at the crowd and walked off, like they wanted to go home and couldn’t be arsed! LMAO. Hilarious!

I loved that moment, as it 100% worked in my favour! ‘The Saturdays’ walked off…the lights come up, everyone finally sees me…and before you know it I’m doing ‘Chrissie Wunna’ fan pics! Haha…CHAMPION.( Turning everyone’s night into MY night!) Tragic i know! But i can’t help myself. I loved meeting everyone, even though it was odd when half sober. But any venue that gives you free deodrant that smells like fruit, and makes you do a 4  minute photoshoot, where they FORCE you to make out with boys, is a winner to me. Touche.’

Afterward, i was meant to either meet up with ‘handsomes,’ or slag it down to Freedom bar…because i wanted to watch a boyband. I was far too knackered though and upset that my boobies had shrunk…so i went home, after sitting in The World Ends bar with Gay Adam..where i tried to persuade him to make up with enemies..as life is too fucking short, to hate people you once cared about. He’s in love with Prince Charming. (Aren’t we all.)  I once had one of my American boyfriends (Tommy Reynolds…you thick shit hahah…) truely believe that ‘Prince Charming’ lived in London! I remember just looking at him, drinking my vodka and saying ‘…that’s Prince William you idiot!’ But then he bought my dinner, so i had to be a bit nicer to him.

I’m really loving life right now and i really can’t wait for Christmas. I’m the happiest little glamour puss in all the world ever. This year has been far too good to me and quite bizarrely I have an even greater ‘next’ year planned. But knowing me, i’ll probably mess it up…but i’ll mess it up…the exact right way. 😉

 Just for the record…I spent a moment of my day, doing a big big wee, then having to waddle around with my pants down, trying to find a toilet roll. Haha..I couldn’t find one anywhere…and was leaving a trail of  ‘love’ droplets behind me. Don’t act like you haven’t done it. It happens to the best of us. (Well not boys, coz i’ve held a boys willy whilst he’s peed before…infact lots of times, lots of different boys and well they just do a little twiddley ‘shake’ off…and then yell at me for turning it upward, mid-pee.) It was almost like a game to me. Lol.) Anyway,  I was leaking..slowly, but surely. But luckily i found a luxury toilet roll..otherwise i would’ve just had to wipe up on the curtain. 😉 (Glamour Glamour Puss Puss.)