The Old Recliner

Monday morning i woke up on a reclining chair, in a bright yellow trench coat and my new (OH MY GOD, i LOVE it) Slush Puppie t-shirt. (I’m enjoying all the ‘You can Slush MY Puppie’ Tweets you boys are a sending me. I’m a Glamour Puss that appreciates a little play on words, much more than a direct slur of obscene sexual *one sided* nonsense. It’s always the boys that are truely terrified of me, that deliver such ‘Mummy didn’t love me’ rubbish. It’s quite easy for them to be all ‘cock and balls’ in Cyberland, or via a distant phone line. Yet if they were to walk into a bar and actually SEE me perched delicately on a chrome high stool, with a cocktail in my right and a *dagger glare* in their direction. I 98% believe that they would (and to put it ever so politely) SHIT their merry (I meant ‘fucking’) selves.

Okay, back to business, I woke up on a grey recliner Monday morning at around 1am. I looked to my right, all a daze, and saw Loverboy staring at me, with a smile that would suggest that i probably slept with my mouth open. My head hurt, my eyes hurt and i felt utterly exhausted (I’m telling ya, that 4am wake up London job *hoo-haa*has messed me up)…then get this…i look up towards the GIANT sized telly screen, that had been playing some show about the rubbish things that happened in the 80’s. It went to the adverts. I closed my eyes for a second. Then re-opened them and to my SHOCKER my EX-HUBBY Michael was slowly walking towards me, after the word psychopath had popped onto the screen in red. It made me jump out of my seat shouting, ‘OMG thats my ex-hubby.’ Then like it hadn’t even registered, i said it again! It was just crazy, having a giant sized version of your ex-husband, sauntering towards you madly…and after you had just woken up on a recliner at 1am, in a yellow and pink diamante studded Slush Puppie t-shirt. I wasn’t ready for it. Not one bit.

The good thing is…i think Michael is wonderful…(not all of the time, but most of the time. He was my first true love, so no matter what he.. does good or bad, it’s creamed over with rosey *bliss* of forgiveness. The funny thing about that is, that he was no different to anyone else. He was still manipulative and used my money for EVERYTHING. However, i never saw that side to him, because i didn’t want to. He lied to his family and told them all this awful stuff about me, which wasn’t technically the truth. I told them the truth…(after they made themselves look stupid via a *hate mail* message from his big sister Angie) and yeah…i had never felt so liberated. They never replied. 🙂 [You can add an IN YOUR FACE there if you so wish.] You have to becareful when pointing the finger…because you may not know the whole entire truth and if you don’t know the whole entire truth, then you’re pretty much in trouble if it invovles Me, because i’m quite dandy at the old truth telling. (Especially when it’s inappropriate.)

Seeing that tiny clip of his for the Sky show ‘Lie to Me’ (how appropriate) was essential to my Monday. It made me actually realize how easily i can make my dreams come true, if i just stop doing pointless *quick fix* jobs and concentrate on the big whole career picture. I’m inspired by Mike, because he never believed i could do better than him…but in my world…i think i did.

I looked back at Pete, my new delicious beau of manhood, who had just taken me to watch Shrek in 3D at the local cinema at Xscape…and i had never felt happier. I can conquer the world with this man and always feel loved. There’s no competition between us, theres no *fight,* there’s no game. All we do is love each other, like they do in fairytales and that little ‘Mike reminder’ was (like i said) ESSENTIAL. It powers me forward to do the best i can. So far i’m doing pretty darn well. (Pete and I did bicker a tiny bit last night after he had cooked me a beautiful dinner, because he felt as though i believed he wasn’t good enough and that he wasn’t Mike. However, it’s funny that he would think that, because if anything, i think Pete..aka Loverboy, is my HERO. He’s the boy that will never do me wrong. I did have a go at him for never having an opinon though. Loverboy agrees with EVERYTHING i say! He sees the positive in all things, at all times, which yes can be a good thing. But sometimes you need to SEE the bad! It’s all about balance.

I’m the kinda girl that sort of needs to be kept in line, because my dynamo, and fearlessless take me to places young ladies should never venture without an army. I am my own army and i love it. I’ll peek in peeky holes and adventure until i die, with a shimmie, and heels and the balls of a rummed up pirate! If i don’t have someone with a little less guts reining me in…i end up in trouble and crying weeks after with regret, whilst puking off my bedside.

I explained this to him in a black BSM fiat, last night outside my Mothers home at midnight. I told him it was like writing a never ending essay and without punctuation. It’s turns something that could be pure sense, into complete and utter madness. Without the reins and the occasional *stop* signs…(which i call the moments where we rest for cocktails and wink at strangers) you will find yourself taking the slippery slope route through life. I’ve wiggled across that route. I’ve wiggled across it, all over the world and yeah…it’s not fun.


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