Woke up this morning, to my little Princess Ruby, who peeled her eyes open slowly, lifted her head towards me and said ‘I love you mummy’ before kissing my nose! Oh my GOSH! It couldn’t have been ANY cuter. From that moment on, she had me and well anything she wanted in this entire world was hers. Lol. Flattery must still get you everywhere. However, flattery from someone that means so much to you, always gives you that little bit more of a warm belly feeling. It made me feel like I was some kind of ace mum or something. She just looked so adorable, all half asleep, half awake and tiny. Then she grabbed my arm placed it over her little quilt covered body and said, ‘cuddle me.’ (Awww…..)
I’m feeling good today. This morning when I woke up, I felt refreshed and new, like I had pulled myself together. Not only because I woke up to pure love, yet also because i felt like my head had been cleared. I think when you release stress be it through a ‘princess weep,’ a fight, a blog…or however you wish to do it, provided you’re not drinking yourself into a mighty oblivion and indulging in harmful acts of ridiculousness…you feel so much greater for it, than if you hold it in. I’ve been holding it in. Yet i’m letting it go now and it’s feeling far more theraputic. At the end of the day, i’m FABULOUS. Love me or hate me…i’m glitzy. I have a great life, so much support and well a bambino on the way that I need to stay fit for. I’m going through a lot right now and well obviously like I’ve been telling you, my love life is taking a delicious glide of a nose dive, but really putting your positive foot forward is what makes it all better…and after a chat with my lovely Mum…i’m certainly doing that. I’m also on iron tablets, with are annoying my system. I’m sure they’re making me feel funny? My body’s like ‘Ewww.. extra vitamin goodness? How the hell as that got in here?‘ However, as I Tweeted last night, the good thing about taking Iron tablets is the sheer fact that they ONLY make me feel dodgy and don’t at all make me literally pick up an iron…as that would be far more devastating and i’d have to give in with a white flag and pass out.
The hubby and I are still not talking. (Lovely! Lovely!) We’re currently living our lives very separately yet under the same roof. I’m annoyed by it, but not properly annoyed. It’s sort of more comedic now than anything. I did have to communicate with him just now due to an awkward little problem I have. I did it via ‘note.’ (Nice and mature. But whatever, I had to, as he wouldn’t speak to me, if I asked hin a question.’ 🙂 ) Oh and when I say awkward, I don’t mean weird disease, that I forgot to tell him about. I wouldn’t ‘note’ that..i’d drink gin then ramble it out with karate chops. I meant, ‘awkward’ as in…it’s his birthday in a couple weeks, so being the doll that I am 😉 I pre-planned and organized surprise birthday shenanigans. I didn’t think that we wouldn’t actually be conversing with one another…so obviously now it’s awkward..especially since it was all planned for next week. I thought i’d better ‘put it out there’ hence the note. It’s in 7 days…
I only communicated via ‘note’ simply because we just can’t seem to break the cycle of stubborness and speak to one another. I don’t know why? It’s silly, yet happening. I’ve now snapped out of it, but he now hasn’t. In fact, he’s just getting started…meaning stubborness will turn to temporary hate, which will turn into a rebellion, which will turn into regret…forming an even bigger mountain for him to climb, where he’ll look back and think ‘I’ve been an idiot.’ It’s a formula almost every person is aware of…I’ve done it lots…yet obviously it’s not a formula that works.
I’ve been working all morning, so when I had a moment I wrote the note on a piece of paper and red biro. I thought it was quite an important note, hence why I had to write it…however, he hasn’t even bothered to read it. That’s how important it is to him. That’s how important I AM to him. (I’m sure some girls get diamonds. 🙂 )
But whatever, at the end of the day the choices you make and the way your life pans out is simply the way you have constructed it mentally. His life is his mind…and it’s just the way he’s wanting it.
I’m feeling good, i’m feeling positive and i’m feeling lucky. I have it good and i’m not going to let anyone take that away from me.
Anyway, I better get back to work. Thank you for all my messages, you’re all being very lovely. I’ve had well wishes and all sorts of support. Yet at the same time I’ve actually had a few ‘Aww bless Keiran’ messages…lol. Erm… Hellooo Team Wunna!?! Even Big Bother Rex (good friend of mine…a guy everybody should adore) left me a Facebook comment, saying that he read my blog and he wanted me to forgive Keiran because he is such a lovely blokey. 🙂 You silly sausages.
My mum sat me down yesterday in a quiet corner…(so much better than the ‘naughty corner’ and said ‘You are this much (measured a pretend inch with her little Burmese fingers) away from being a great success. I am so proud of you. You have everything going for you, so don’t waste time on feeling the way you’re feeling…you’re going to do this. You’re about to do SO well! I’m proud! If he wants to stay negative now that you’ve snapped out of it, then that’s his own problem. But don’t let that dampen the success that your life is about to become. You’re this (did the fingers again) close. You’re always going to be MORE than OKAY!’
That’s the kind of pep-talk you need from your Mum and well I’ve been very lucky when it’s come to having a wonderful mother. She made me feel really good again, refueled me, dusted me off and placed me back on that pedestal. She actually made me re- realize that I do have everything going for me. I didn’t forget. I just…well forgot. 🙂 I’m not at all in a bad position. Once i’ve managed to have my baby boy, the world is again my oyster, as there is so much planned. I have love, I have ‘ooh laa’ and I have all the help I need. There’s no struggle. It’s crazy that I lost sight of it all.
So, boys and girls…:) try not to lose sight of YOUR dreams, life or the things that are important to you. If people wish to waste their time and float on the ‘pity party’ boat, be it on a shindig for one or with a whole gang of other’s that wish to share weakness…then let them.
I feel strong…and well that sort of makes me unstoppable. Dip your life in glitter and rocket it to the stars…. This kitten is BACK and she has her *wiggle* in full tact!
However, before the wiggling…i actually have a whole lot of work to do…so i’ll be seeing you hotties.
My song choice of the day…
My Daddy would always play me this as a little girl… whenever I felt down