Afternoon, my lovely little bundles of ‘nuisance.’ I’m still feeling oddly divine…delightful and delicious. I’m giving the credit to Me ‘ being up north.’ I don’t know why i’m loving it so much, but i WILL tell you that it makes me happy. Must be all the home grown men, pie and drinking. I have a smile from ear to ear and a giddy ‘ooh laa’ in my eyes. Infact, since i’ve been up north a lot of great things have happened in my life and really it’s down to the fact that i’m in a environment that makes me happy. When you’re positive, positive things happen and the art of not letting yourself get ‘negged’ out (as i call it) is so important, when it comes to making dreams come true. And i don’t mean that in a cheesy fucking way. I mean it in the sense that, it’s the easiest thing to do, but we always seem to forget it.
In London, i’m vixen, i drink and i’m feisty. In Yorkshire i’m ‘bunny lovable’ and i currently really do fancy it a great deal more. I like both…i like to keep moving around…having an option. (Like with men lol.) But, i’m in a stage of my life where i need a proper HOME. I associate London with work and it’s great to wake up and *strut* on down to an important meeting, in hot pink heels and an ‘up my bum panties’ Va Voom. But in Yorkshire, i’m oddly reminded of LA, and i have a life. A real one. (I know this may not make sense, it only half does to me. But bare in mind…i’m happy. We’re all good!) *Confetti shower and dancing boys here*
Okay, so i’ve just off the phone to a rather successful lady, in a lovely part of LA who wanted to give me a little bit of advice. Recently i’ve been feeling a like a ‘toy,’ rather than a real life person. And, i’ve noticed that a lot of people are excited to see me…which i really do love, as i to get excited to see pretty much everyone really. I just enjoy people…in general and i do enjoy being this walking, talking, Dolly… who swears, whenever she makes a wrong decision.
Yet, right now, at the same time as people being excited to see me, they kind of want to possess me immediately…without even neccessarily meaning too. Once they have Me, even for a moment, they WANT me, I’m there’s and will only be there’s FOREVER! Haha…it’s cute. I mean, i don’t mind it at all really. I have all the time in the world for people. I’m happy to entertain them for a wee while. I mean, i’m not so stupid to hate someone who says they’re inspired by Me. I LOVE IT! It actually kinda bothers my friends more than it bothers Me. (Which i find odd.) I’ve made my choices in life. I’m pretty happy to deal with all of the consequences that come with it. I’ve chosen a path…and not your everyday kind of path (i went with ‘psycho’ path…apologising for that shit joke.) And well, i was a little concerned as to whether i was doing things the right way…a few phone calls were made and advice was a given.
Basically i’ve been told that i’m spreading myself far too thinly and talking to far too many people, to the point where if i continue going down this path, I will completely have an entire nervous break down and it will be impossible for me to keep up with..to the point where i will eventually do a ‘Britney’ and lose myself completely, to the merry sound of regret. (Oooh much.) I don’t ever think there will be an ‘I’m shaving my head’ day. And i love Britney! I think her breakdown made her human. Why do we ridicule people for having problemos? Don’t we all? Celebrate them with laughter. We’re not perfect little shaped by God like moulds. We’re all ‘ooh laa’ and different and making life much harder than it needs to be. Lol. (Fuck, i’ve gone off the point!) But, basically i feel i’ve finally come full circle, and now i have no serious problems at all. I feel really comfortable. I’ve completely got the ‘life’ thing down now…after years of terrible struggle and very wrong wrong decisions…a lot of pain, a lot of fun, a lot of Hollywood, and a lot life! Therefore emotionally, it’s sort of my turn to ‘give back,’ and let people know that they’re gonna be okay. They really are! I have fans from the age of 4 to 64, of all genders, sexual preferences and walks of life and i love it! I’ve seen people not really believe they can ‘make it,’ through the whole much of a ‘lifetime,’ and if i can help, through documenting MY LIFE…then i fucking will and if that means talking to everyone possible I WILL. Life is short. I watched my dad almost die, and have an apparent no life left. I had a best friend ‘Kat’ really commit to the art of death… she was a TRUELY loving being…who was just a little lost! All she needed was someone and i can be that ‘someone’ in my own way…for everyone. I’m doing things
Therefore i heard my advice and even though this person is highly successful, and i have the upmost respect for ANYONE and everyone who has made their dreams come true and never given up…I mean i learn from the best and always have done, through ‘study.’ But what i have learnt is that I AM ME and what works for them, works because they are THEM. They came up with a plan, went with it and mastered it! I’m not them…i’m a whole new bag of unruly but loveable tricks. I’ve never really fitted into a category…so i made my very own ‘box’ and it’s working for me. I’m really loving it. *Kitty wink*
I talk to everyone, because i want to. I stop and meet people in the streets because i enjoy people, i’m human and well that’s normal to me. I want to!! I’m naturally social, non judgemntal, have a lot of friends and well i’m highly affectionate. (A little too affectionate.) I do not place myself in a higher position to anyone else. (I do joke about it…but that’s because i have a dodgey sense of humour.) After meeting me, you’ll find i’m extremely normal, in the most abnormal way, but i will have affected you in some way, i guess? I’ve made a name through writing out my life. We’re all doing a ‘life,’ i’m no different to any other person on this planet. I’ve just lived it a little differently. *Flash Back of making out with Matt Dillon in a hotel room and him asking me if am a ‘naughty boyfriend stealing girl.’* (I really wish i ‘put out’ now. That’s a great deal hotter to me at the age of 29.) I had a stint on the telly, that created a bit more of a buzz about me…and well even though things are a great deal more amazing…i’m still at the end of the day…just living a life…my life. It’s part of my whole big story.
Bottom line, I’m a girl, born in Yorkshire, who originated from Burma, who moved to Hollywood, grew up there emotionally, moved back to England, got on the telly in London, moved there, and is now bundling back to Leeds, and keeping LA close at hand. I have great boobs, a wink and an undeniable ‘charm‘ factor. I’m armed with a ‘bunchy’ of dreams and i’m trying my hand and making them come true one by one, in order to have me a life, a story, a history. I’m Just LIKE YOU! (But a lot more mentally ill.) And yeah i’ve brought you on my journey with me. (Lucky you…haha.) And i’m riding the wave of infamy…notoriety gained from a ‘reputation.’ Not neccessarily a clean one. Yet i never deny anything that i’ve done in my rather too colourful past! I’m raw and in diamonds! I’ve come out the other end smiling. I’m a Glamour Pussing, winking, drinking, cyber -fucking-lebrity. Make your mark! Do your story your way! Take all advice and give it your twisteroo. But try not to listen too hard. Keep life going…
I think i should go out on a date next week. I’ll have to find one at the weekend. The right boy is so difficult for me to find? I have options a plenty, yet…hmm..they’re just not right. But he’ll find me. (Calls Cupid.*) I got sent a teddy, a dildo, and a letter today. I kinda need to tan, and buy an outfit for