Goshy! I am stressed out, pissed off and properly thrown le teddy out of it’s glitzy diamante COT! Like I said, i’ve got a lot on my plate right now and i’ve spent the entire week working hard at it, letting things pile ontop of me and feeling challenged. Even though i’m good at a challenge, i’m not one to enjoy them, or one to thrive off them, as i much more prefer something that comes extremely easily to me…falls on my lap, works with a wink or a press of a button…and who wouldn’t? It’s like when people moan because a being always wants to try and get their own way? Why wouldn’t they? I mean, who doesn’t want to do things their own way? Who literally sits there and thinks, ‘i know, i’m gonna do everything i don’t want to do in life and make sure i deliver it everyone else’s way but mine.’ Makes no sense. Has no gusto. But a lot of people are like that.
Anyway, so i stayed up all night to get caught up on my work. I tried to catch up on blogs, and did all my eyelash sample requests for the next range, sent appropriate emails, picked through designs, read through competition entries and well hit every time zone i needed to.
I’d been stressed out all day and i kinda ‘peaced out’ a bit, as the night ended with a chill and a vino, when the babies went to bed. Plus, i had felt like i had accomplished a little bundle. So typically, it kinda placed me on top of the world, with a happy sigh of relief.
This morning I woke up happy. I was excited about life. I was filled to the brim with ‘ooh laa.’ I felt giddy. I felt happy. I felt like i was positively moving forward. ‘Little Mix’ got whopped on and I even had a baby sized, naked boogie. (Note: I don’t have curtains in my house.)
Then out of nowhere, drama occured. Tiny drama, but enough to annoy me, because when you’re sort of plate spinning and juggling all sorts, with pressure and deadlines and just panicking because you’re so worried that you won’t get it all done or get it all to work out…it sort of builds up over the week and gets to you. So the smallest things can make you *pop,* it sort of depends on how emotional you’re feeling. But i was over the moon. I was even excited to go out and have some fun because i needed to..to release tension and celebrate the work that i had managed to accomplish.
What i don’t need right now is drama and more stress. I mean where is all the good news and handfuls of support? Where is all the fun and the light hearted ‘make me smile’ banter. No one ever sort of cheerleads ME on at all…because i’m just super well equipped i guess, to do it myself? And don’t get me wrong. I am…bit there are times when i might need a casual *boost.*
LIKE NOW. HAHAHAA.
Anyway, i got really annoyed, which sort of made me fuming and then what made it worst was the fact that i realised that I wasn’t even angry and wasn’t even fuming and simply just upset…and i finally did it….i HAD MY CRY!!! Fair enough, I didn’t let it be a big one because all my makeup would’ve run down my face and i would’ve looked liked a drag queen’s mosh pit? Yet it was there and well, i haven’t been able to cry in ages. Mainly because i’ve been so happy that i didn’t need to…yet i know that there have been odd moments where i wanted to, but my kitten soul just couldn’t let a weep release. Which is bad, when you’re an emotional girl.
So basically, I feel like i’m under a lot of pressure and instead of people helping me, i’m getting bollocked by lots of different people, from all different angles…when i just need a hugh five, a hug, a bit of love and a fucking bit of support. I mean GOD. If there’s anyone who needs a positive little life bump…i’m literally the FIRST PERSON, to put myself out there, and go as afr as I can or need to, inorder to make them happy. People don’t do that for me, because i’m DIVA Miss..handle anything Wunna. Which is fine, because I AM. But now i’m watching, well kinda observing and seeing who the actually soldiers are in Wunna land? I mean what are people even investing into Wunna land?
But i’m on a high and i’m happy. Just emotional and feeling like i’m on my own. (But with great hair.)
I feel empowered, because i always do and i’m tired of people stressing me out, because i’m worth more than that and I do a lot for people. I mean, i saw the big friendly giant, who i’m obsessed with at work the other day. He’s about 7 ft tall, old and quiet. He eats a full breakfast with ‘double everything’ and he couldn’t be more loving, giving, or kind. He appreciated everything and everyone and gives. I mean, he was the guy that came in and left money for the table next to him at the front counter, because they were children with learning disabilities, who maybe couldn’t afford all the cake they wanted. He tipped me loads for nothing, but he smiled at me and told me that my ‘smiley disposition’ was beautiful. And that was kinds.
I’m tired of boy banter. I’m tired of dickheads. Where are the good people, who just express how they feel lovingly and offer you nothing but support, a bit of love and well extra tips. 🙂
Hope you all have a wonderful August 1st! I’m from Yorkshire, so if anything,
HAPPY HAPPY YORKSHIRE DAY!!!
Ps/ Rant over. I’m fine now!
PPs/ The lads night blog to come…