Will you still love me….

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I had such a ‘drama’ Monday, after the most blissful & peaceful weekend of ‘family.’ I’ve got so much going on, that i’m filling myself with a delicious flourish of stress. It’s kinda topped up with that beautiful thing we call ‘anxiety,’ simply because i’m terrified. I don’t even know what’s wrong with me? So, i’m gonna go with hormones?

I’m back on the telly shortly…That’s worrying me. I’ve got a lot to organise with the kids…That’s worrying me. I have shoots galore and auditions coming out my ‘hooty..’ That’s worrying me. My love life is *whizzing* around me, almost madly…I don’t even know what’s going on? Yes. I get a lot of attention. Yes, I’m single.

However, I’m noticing that, if I ever begin to feel for anyone, I get stressed out, because giant *CAUTION* signs go up everywhere. I’ve always had a shit love life. So, it’s scary. Plus,  I’m absolutely emotional, so to me, it only means ‘danger.‘ I do not ever want to get my heartbroken again….EVER. I tread carefully. (Well…fuck that. I ‘stiletto.’)

I have travels and schedules and places to influence…Everything’s a juggle…Sometimes, I panic and I can’t even breathe. (Cue: Drama 😉 )

But the weird thing is, i’m HAPPY. I’m really happy and maybe being so happy, or so lucky, makes me worry because LET ME TELL YOU, my life hasn’t been so easy….Haha. It’s laughable.

Basically, I’m scared of everything right now, because i’m having to pinch myself…and I need to ‘Man up,’ count my blessings and get on with it, with panache.

Anyway…

At the weekend, I did Meadowhall with The Wunna’s and Ruby. (Junior was at his Dads.) We were pretty much treated like Meadowhall shopping royalty (and I thank you for that, because I don’t even know why?) It did feel wonderful though.

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We shopped and stopped at Wagamama’s. Then after cocktail refuels, toy stores, makeup counters, new hair (we all need those extra few inches,) and my brand new chakra beads…Life felt almost perfect.

Ruby: ‘Mum. You’re chakra beads are not working. You’re CRAZY. You’re still nuts. They don’t work.’

(She is right, though. Even though I told her to ‘shush.‘ At this rate, i’m gonna need to see Buddha and get blessed by monks, or something! Maybe i’m just not meant for ‘Total Enlightenment.’ Maybe, i’m meant to live this ridiculous life of pathetic glory, for your entertainment… Haha.)

I’m starting to believe that…

‘Hey Destiny…You’ve fucked me over. You’re off the Christmas card list! You’re chilling on the naughty list, with Cupid and a few Pretty Boy exes from 2004.’

This is how I feel right now…

Like I’ve drank 42 energy drinks, had a bottle of rum, taken all my clothes off, and then thrown MYSELF to the lions.

Then…because i’m not at all mental….

…I lost the car…I always lose the car…Oh! Wait!! I don’t mean?Ugh. I’m rambling. I didn’t REALLY lose the car! I kinda ‘misplaced’ it? Y’know, when you can’t quite remember where you left it? 🙂 My Mum, drove home, because obviously, I guzzled Aperol Spritzies…after The Disney Store.

Fair enough, there was lots of wine, brunches and fun over the weekend. I checked in with my friends…briefly. Got on top of work. Then just relaxed with the kids. However….one of my favourite moments of the weekend, was the ‘school mum..’ catch up…

(There was a kids birthday party over the weekend…)

Miss.Murphy: ‘What are you wearing!?! Lol. Who wears glitter shoes to a kids party..?? Haha.’

Me: ‘Shut up. Lol. These are my driving shoes.’

Sam: ‘Does Ruby want Pizza?’

Me: ‘It’s like the Real Housewives of Yorkshire…’

Mum: ‘I got asked to be on Real Housewives of Marbella, a while ago, but I said no…I’m too boring, for it!’

Me: ‘You said NO! As if you said NO!! I can’t believe you said no. I would’ve moved to Marbella, to have done it. Haha.’

( I live for that show…It calms me, when I’m stressed. Yet, so does the occasional Jeremy Kyle episode…? So, yeah…I’m mental. Ignore me.)

Other Mum: ‘Oh yeah. I’m gonna be flying away with him.’

Miss. Murphy: ‘You’re actually going now! What about…?’

Other Mum: ‘Oh…he doesn’t know..’

Miss.Murphy: ‘You said he was fat and bald…But he’s not at all?’

Me: ‘How have I sat here for an hour and not known it’s your birthday today!!’ 

Miss. Murphy: ‘So, are you seeing your date again?’

I never thought i’d be a traditional ‘school mum.’ Yet, there’s just something about this group of Mamas, that is filled with the ‘sexy.’ They’re actually not traditional, school mums, in rain macs. They’re alive. They’re fun. They have designer shoes that read ‘LOVE.’ Louis Vuitton handbags and possible stables…’

They’re, what I call ‘Prosecco Mums,’ and I love them, madly. I’m like the tragic misfit of the bunch. The single, no husband, disorganized one, with a suggestive Insta profile…

We’re all really different from one another. Yet, w’re all great women. Confident women. Great mothers and well, I just really enjoy they’re company.

Then all our kids ruined everything and shoved tall plastic, slush palm trees, in our faces… 

At that point, the gossip got censored…

My inbox is * pinging,* almost every minute, with people asking me about my love life and my last date etc…

All I can tell you is that, the guy that I did the Manchester Airport date with, was wonderful. He says he wants to see me again, and I definitely will. I found him really sexy and confident. He’s smart and thoughtful. I liked him. I’find him interesting…I want to know lots about him…I’ll definitely be meeting him again. (I’m only one ‘meeting’ in. So it’s all ‘early doors.’)

I’m just treading carefully…Like I said, I’m not bothered about getting my heart broken, right now, when I have so much going on…

I eventually want to fall in love. I’m a true romantic. I want to be swept off my feet. Adored. Respected. And y’know, in that one meet up, my date was that! He was a REAL MAN, which made me notice that I’d not only been looking in the wrong place for love, but i’d wasted a lot of my time, on ‘little boys.’  At 37 years old, I don’t need to be doing that!

When it comes to love…

…this time..because obviously i’ve been married three times and had numerous flings and relationships..I want to PROPERLY fall in love. I want it to be stable and forever…with no stress. No drama.

And I do want to just say, that even though on paper, i’ve dated, romanced, flinged, loved, married, divorced, sexed..and well…just all sorts, with men, all over the world.

DO KNOW THAT….

… I never did all that because I was a floozy. That’s one of the biggest misconceptions about me. I’m a love bunny. There were options. I was young. A glamour model. Off the telly…Growing up in Hollywood…All sorts.

Yet, I never was and still not a man eater. I’m non judgemental. I’m modern. Yet when it comes to love, I’m quite ‘fairytale.’ I’m quite traditional…I’m a hopeless romantic, with a capital ‘H.’

I’m tragic…

So, every single time, I went into these encounters, with men, boys, gents, or misfits..

I always hoped (like any girl or woman,) that they would love me forever.

It just didn’t and still hasn’t quite worked out that way….

It’s actually only when I suddenly realise, that they guy i’ve been chatting to, or dating, only see’s me as  a ‘bed notch’ or someone they daren’t date… It was only THEN…at that point, when I HAVE to  file the encounter under ‘casual,‘ and ‘take it on the chin,’ without being embarrassed.

So i’m accidentally, a sassy, sexy, modern day woman.

The ‘Brand’ goes alongside that….and that’s fine with me, as it makes me very ‘now.’ It gives me the necessary ‘street cred.’ I’m swag. I’m cool…I’m…Blah, blah….

You get it…

Y’see, when it comes to WORK, I am that. I’m fire. I’m determined. I’m ambitious. I’m a glamourous, kitty DIVA, sprayed over, in solid steel, showers of glitter. Champagne pops around me and naughty winks, fill my walk way…

When it comes to love…I’m the opposite.

I’m not someone who really wants random casual sex. I love sex. But i don’t play a numbers game. I want to feeel a connection.

Plus, If i’m honest, I can have sex with anyone… I have an inbox full of offers…almost every few minutes.

That doesn’t make me feel mighty. It’s flattering. I appreciate the ‘adoration..’ Of course I do….

If anything it stresses me out, because I think, ‘how the hell can I have so much attention and not find Mr.Right. That ONE MAN, who will truly love and treasure me forever?’

I’m ready to fall in love…

I’m just scared to….

It makes me anxious…

Anyway…

Away from all that…Sunday morning was great because before Meadowhall, I got to chatter to Lil’ Sam Reece. I shouldn’t call him ‘Lil’ as he’s pretty grown. He’s a good guy.  I’ve referred to him as ‘Tats’ on this blog before.

I like waking up on a Sunday morning to a Reecy phone ‘ping.’ We’ll just have brief morning banter. ..then get on with life. We chatter in ‘spits & spots’ a lot. We both always have really shit love lives…We’re both ‘Yorkshire.’ We actually get on well. It’s easy. We wired the same way. We have the same banter.. This Sunday we talked ‘car bonnets/hotels and flat caps.’ 

I was actually gonna meet him for drinks..But I ended up doing Meadowhall instead and he ended up doing boy drinks…

But he’s a good guy. So I have a lot of respect for our Sam. He’s a good buddy…I’d see Sam as the kinda guy, i’d go for a drink with and kiss in the elevator when no one was looking. Haha!

(That hasn’t happened, by the way, before you all get excited. But i’d definitely kiss him in an elevator…It’d be a waste of ‘sexy’ people, if not. I don’t like to waste sexy people. You only live once.)

Right! I’m off!

Have a fantastic Tuesday!!

I love you.

Chrissie x

ps/ I’m about to step up my game…So strap in!

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But which boy will stick?

Chick friend: ‘So, did he reply?’

Me: ‘Who?’

Chick friend: ‘T Bone…OR The Gent….either of them??’

Me: ‘Yeah. Yeah. They both did…One replied straight away and then wished me a really great day this morning, with an emoji kiss.. and the other replied with the words *naughty ass.* Hahaha…’

Chick Friend: ‘I already know, which ones which. Lol’ 

But in T Bone’s defense….he already knows me & we’re quite bantery and highly sexed by nature…We’re northern and cheeky… Plus, he’s already had sex with me. Already ‘sampled the goods.‘ So he can get away with ‘naughty ass.’ I’m not new, to him..

The Gent however, has never met me, doesn’t know me and of course wants to make the best first impression possible…which is honorable and lovely. I like that. It’s kind. It’s sweet. It’s thoughtful.

Chick Friend: ‘He still wants to bone you though. Haha. He’s just approaching it well..’

Me: ‘POLITELY! I like good manners. Everyone wants to bone me mate. Lol. That’s not the problem. It’s who wants to KEEP me, that IS! Someone who doesn’t JUST see me as a Bone Festival!’

Chick Friend: ‘I love how you put *Festival* after everything…’

Me: ‘It’s my phrase for * a lot of…* I have my own lingo & I love how you all just understand it, without me usually having to explain it to you.’

I’ve just shot a bunch of instagram pictures with shows dragging out my mouth, whilst dressed in lingerie. Lol.

This is my life.

I’ve also gathered up enough Insta Questions now, from you, to place on a blog…which will be coming up shortly. I just didn’t have enough ‘juicy’ ones before. Yet, you listened and you delivered, dolls!

I’m running a business. I’m juggling babies. But it’s awesome right now. I wanted a wine at 9am, but didn’t have one. I’m currently blogging, with a giant, glamour pussy hair piece, wedged upon my head, whilst  just being in knickers.. as I sit around flamingos.

I’m gonna need that wine after this.

Then I had one meeting. Caught up on my emails and made my plans for the future…before I shot.

I’m always making plans for the future. (I’m talking work right now. I’ve left my fucking love life to fate…cos GOD, I can’t seem to do anything about it.) I’m quite an ambitious girl. I’m quite determined girl. But it’s done with love and fun. Not utter evil, spitefulness like Roxanne Pallett. Lol. (Yes! I got my dig in!)

So, i’m really excited, because i’m gonna get there..I can feel it. I can FEEL it. I just need to catch it. But it’s down to life ‘magic’ now. I’m not in a race. I’m gonna do it well.

To me it doesn’t matter how MANY things you do, it’s all about doing that ONE THING so well…it’s makes UTTER IMPACT.

That’s kind of how I feel about love also. I’m a one man, woman. I’m not one to play with lots of boys. I hate that. I want true love and don’t believe you’re fated to be with everyone…JUST ONE OTHER HUMAN.  When I love, i love hard When I fancy, I have a one track mind and i’ll always only focus my heart on that one guy…once sprung.

(Ooh, my boobs are looking good today! Just caught myself in my mirror. Lol. Sorry.) 

My friend Liam Halewood was on the telly last night, on ‘The Extreme Diet Hotel, on Channel 4 and I just wanted to say how proud I was of him, because he’s such a talent and he wants to do well, (like us all) and i’m sure he’s had a rough time with it. It’s not easy. So he certainly deserves a bit of ‘look at me,’ that lasts. His soul is good. He’d do anything for anyone. I’m really glad that I have him as a friend.

PLUS…

Today, I watched him do a ‘Wheely Bin’ workout, where you hold onto the back of your ‘wheely’ and flick your legs behind you. Lol. After every five flicks, you then have to slut drop, STILL holding the back of your wheely bin and only in PINK. You can only wear pink, when doing his exercises.

All my friends are just awesome.

If I had a round of exercises it would simply be…

‘Pick your wine glass up…and neck it in one…’

That’d be it…in heels. You’d have to help heels, to help your calves.

It helps your bat wings, your neck muscles, your gag reflex and it’s literally great for the soul. 🙂

I’m really looking forward to meeting ‘The Gent’ on 18th. I know I keep going on about it. But i love meeting new people and so far, he’s been lovely to me. He’s been attentive, without being annoying. Lol. But I do need to see, as things are different when you meet someone in person, aren’t they…and it’s not like i know him?

Yet, the thing is…with The Swirl aka T Bone…We’d already talked lots and lots before…Life kept sort of,  pushing us together and pulling us apart…Anyway, when I met HIM, for the first time, in person, it was actually amazing. I think we got on better than we thought, because it was just so easy. Just so perfect.

I mean, that could’ve gone another way…but it didn’t…So meeting The Gent in 2 weeks, will give me better insight..Lol.

I almost wish guys came with a quick film trailer of their romantic history, so i could see what I was getting myself into.

Anyway, I’ve godda get back to work.

Thank you following my life.

Hit play…

 

Love you..

Chrissie x

 

 

Influencing Lip Balms, Nudey Balloons & I Fainted

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Mornings make me happy and they’re such an important part of the day because each time you wake up, (whether you’re fresh as a daisy, off to work, rolling some eye candy out of our bed, hungover, happy, worried, or dashing off with the kids,) you get another shot at doing life! It’s a whole new start! It feels good! We kinda take it for granted.

Just like that… everything could stop…So it’s important to remember to treasure and enjoy the things that you have… while you still have them.

Only do the things that make you happy, fall in love, take your chances, look good whilst your doing it and make your wishes and dreams come true. Build your career, build your family, never feel judged by what people think or say and live it with every inch of your soul.

(Why am I trying to sound like some life guru right now? 🙂 Let’s be real, I fainted last last whilst on the actual toilet at around 1am in the morning. Lol. Am I the only ‘glamour puss’ to ever do that?)

Now, before we all start getting in a tizzy and ringing all these panic bells. It was a comedic faint, not a ‘Call the Doctor’ faint.

My drunk chick friend had been snap chatting last night, before ‘shut eye’ and charger ‘plugins.’ 

Chick friend: ‘I’m only on 11 percent battery life now. I’m pissed. Mof sleep.’

Me: Don’t you dare wake me up, start all this *look at me, look at me, pay attention to me* thing and then just be like, fuck it i’m off to sleep, once i’m here! Lol’

I was laid in bed, fast asleep…happy as can be….and then my stomach started to kill….It hurt SO much, that I was trying to ignore it. I tried to pretend that it wasn’t actually happening, because ofcourse, when you do, and you close your eyes, whilst hiding under the duvet…it’s not! 🙂

IGNORANCE IS BLISS!

When I was 19, the guy that I was dating cheated on me and I’d walked into his home and seen him in bed with a girl…that he had ‘boned’ all night.

Yippppeee!

At the time I was devastated…OFCOURSE! But now, at 37 and after doing moderately well in life, 😉  I look back on that memory fondly, like it’s a juicy, yet comedic little burst of Wunna life memory because HE DID the ‘close your eyes, hide under the duvet and pretend it’s not happening’ thing…and in that moment, he must have REALLY shat himself. Poor sod.

He went on to try and win me back. I moved to Hollywood and married a ‘movie star.‘ 🙂

Hurrah!

How have I got this distracted!?! I’m meant to be telling you about my flipping tummy ache.

Hurt so bad (like that cramp you get in your leg that is uncontrollably painful, but just like ouchy bits of life, you have to go through it anyway…Lol.) I was trying to *swag* it out. When you *swag* something out, when no ones watching you, it’s really awkward and uncomfortable. 🙂

Got up, did a giant naked SPRINT to the loo, sat on the toilet and I don’t know what happened, but my whole body did this hot, cold, flush thing, all these yellow blurry dots, *fuzzed* over me, and I kinda just remember keeling over for a moment, losing m mind and feeling all hot and sweaty…

I woke up on the floor, after about a minute or so, right as rain, like i’d just watched a bit of telly, or had a ham sandwich…

Then I ‘naked’ walked back to bed and immediately fell asleep.

Why am I so WEIRD! THAT IS NOT NORMAL. No wonder I’ve been married so many times!!!

Dear Future Husband,

Please just love me anyway…

Look!! I look really good half naked with balloons….

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OOoooh Balloons…

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Sold? Good! Thought so! *Wiggle Wink*

But away from all that….Yesterday was a great day!

I was at a catch up meeting with ‘Big A’ from ‘House of Solo’ Magazine, minding my own business, rambling on about my life, going on about how i’m going to be getting this new amazing body….

…and as I scrolled through my email, I received a message from ‘Amy’ in regards to the Lypsyl Mirror Compact Lip Balm, that I had loved and therefore ‘influenced,’ on my socials.

I loved it so much and like I always say, when you’re an influencer you receive and try out a lot of things, be they products, places, or people….and it’s hard to fit everything into your socials….

However, I genuinely loved my mirror compact madly and was so grateful to Lypsyl, that I basically featured it on my Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat and Facebook immediately…

ALL MY SOCIALS (which you should all be following)

Yesterday….My Lypsyl Mirror Compact and I were featured in The Sun…and Fabulous Magazine…

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How good is that! I literally *SCREECHED* in the middle of Ego, at my meeting….

House of Solo, ‘Big A’ kept doing these ‘being jealous’ faces at me. Lol.

But it felt really GOOD, to have teamed up with Lypsyl (which is a huge glorious brand,) influence something and then to see it in the national press…

It felt really good!

(They’re such a wonderful team…)

I was jumping around a cocktail bar, they were jumping around their office.

Everyone was filled with excitement…

I felt like the luckiest girl in the world….and when I’m excited, i’m like a little girl. I beam!

I WILL tell you, that things in my life right now, are kinda wonderful, in ALL areas…..I know! Can you even believe it?  And whether I am or not, right now, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world…

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Because I love a Hero….

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Are you freezing too? What is this crazy ass, snow doing? Now, we know I don’t like the cold. It makes my nose runny and that I assure you is something that can never be well accessorized. I had to make the scariest drive yesterday, where I kinda just skidded into oncoming traffic. Lol. Then Ruby and Junior had a ‘snow day’ off school (AFTER I DROVE ALL THE WAY THERE Lol), followed by that awful moment when they (in fact all kids)  turn around and shout..

‘LET’S PLAY IN THE SNOW!’

It’s always something that you feel you should do, even though you really don’t want to…But you do it anyway, don’t you? Just to see them smile… 😉

We built snowmen (that didn’t build,) they made snow angels, (and looked devastated,) we had snow ball fights (Junior cried) and Ruby chose to crawl all the way home like snow dog. I was literally screaming at her to ‘PLEASE GET UP, COS YOU’RE MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A REALLY BAD PARENT…LOL‘….But she just kept ‘woofing‘ at me and saying she was a ‘SNOW DOG.‘ 🙂

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(The other evening, when we did our ‘Mummy/Daughter’ dinner at Ego, she had a whole conversation with me about my love life and demanded that she saw their FEET first, because it was vital that I did not ever marry a man with ‘rubbish feet.’ )

‘Honestly, Mum…can we Google his feet, pleeease?’

I couldn’t ‘picture take’ yesterday because firstly, it got ‘snowed off’ and secondly I am UTTERLY rubbish at shooting in the cold. I can’t stand it. I can’t get into it. I lose my swagger. I lose my ‘ooh laa.‘ I won’t do it.  And you have to feel comfortable when you’re on a shoot.

So instead, I *selfied* my snow walk….Who knew you’d all be that excited by it? 😉

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(There’s me moaning about Ruby crawling like a ‘snow dog’ home and I’m tottering along in the snow with my bra out! Lol)

Even my chick friend saw it on snapchat and said,

‘Know wonder you’re bloody freezing. Most people wear a top out in the snow.’

But whatever, you’ve godda keep it sexy don’t you! And I’m certainly one of those girls. I didn’t even think that I looked like a plonker either? I mean, I would’ve done it WITHOUT THE BRA, if I thought it was respectful enough around the people passing by.

A bra is odd to viewers, but acceptable in the cold. A nipple is a whole different game. And my child was crawling home, like a ‘snow dog.’

What we must look like… is beyond me!!

I’m glad we did it though and i’m glad I have half exotic children, that prefer the poolside heat and swimwear, to the snow. They cried after 10 minutes because they wanted to be in the warm. 🙂

YIPPPPPPPPPPPPEEE!

But thank you for all the love I received for my ‘snow walk’ selfies. I appreciate it. And do know, before you all start. I was zipped up when the children were in front of me, yet it wouldn’t have made a difference, as they see me in my bra, or with my boobs out all the time. We don’t have body hangups in our family. We’re swag. 😉

I will tell you what was cute on my walk…The fact that I saw old gentlemen, young men and all sorts of others, shoveling the drives clear, for their wives, running all the errands…sort of really taking care of their ‘honey pies’…They were just being proper MEN. That was so cute. They were hand holding and guarding their families. They were keeping them safe from danger, yet still managing to have a laugh in the snow.

What a turn on! I love a HERO.

(I prefer to be warm, but definitely love a hero.)

Like I said to my friend ‘Tomfri’ the other day, when we passed each other in a pub car park (It was The Carleton.)

‘I love it when boys can do boys things…’

(We had some brief conversation about him laying his own floors down. Lol. He was with a mate and they had ladders wedged in their car. It’s the first manly thing ‘Tomfri’s’ ever tried to do or something? But that’s impressive.)

Boys are attractive when they have an emotional softness…yet at the same time, can do BOY THINGS. (That’s quite sexist. But It’s really how I feel! Lol)

Like I’d LOVE TO BE MARRIED TO THE PERFECT MAN, who can do things like ‘lay floors down,’ put a new light bulb in, do the bins and all that shit, that we girls hate. Lol. He’d have to be stylish and ‘cool as’ though and enjoy both the FINER AND THE SIMPLE things in life. Like, he couldn’t have a no teeth….It just wouldn’t work.

I’ve already bored myself with that paragraph.

Chick friend: ‘She wants you to be fit. She loves eye candy, because she’s shallow. Lol’

I’m not shallow! I’m really not. Just vain. We’re going down the wrong path!

WAIT!

What i’m trying to say is that I’m actually great at doing ‘GIRL THINGS...’

*WINK HERE*

So, I enjoy a gent who is equivalently GREAT… at doing BOY THINGS…

I have boyish banter, but I am a GIRLY GIRL. Don’t get it twisted. I’m a glamour puss. A kitten! Sometimes a bit of ‘diva’ the say? 😉

Aww, my friend ‘Sykes’ is just messaging me on Facebook…

Sykes: ‘I adore reading the comments on your photos. How you have the patience to say something nice back is literally inspiring. Lol. Someone told me I had a nice arse at the gym the other day, and I had him thrown out. I presume it’s your business acumen that drives you. Bravo Wunna.’

(I love Sykes. I went to school with her and she’s hilarious. )

I think i’m just used to it. I hear it all day, every day….and I don’t mind it. No, in fact, I do mind it when they’re rude, because i’m feisty…They sometimes need cold showers or slaps.  But if you put a suggestive picture up…that is whats going to happen. I don’t mind sexy banter…I just don’t like it when people are disrespectful and cross the Wunna line.

Yet, on the whole, everyone’s doing the whole ‘you’re beautiful, you’re sexy’ thing.

That’s not so bad. I’m quite laid back by nature. Worse things have happened to me then that…Lol.

PLUS, I try and make time for people, who make time for me….and they do…every day….I whole heartedly believe in the art of ‘what goes around come around.’ I wouldn’t want anyone to think that I didn’t appreciate the fact that they’re helping ‘Wunna Land’ sail.

I can’t remember what I wanted to tell you now?

Thank you those of you who are sending me products to ‘influence’ ( I always find it really exciting and I can’t wait to sort through them all) and thank you to the gents who have been signing up to my ‘Onlyfans’ account. (Onlyfans.com/chrissiewunna) I’m glad you have a ‘home’ now. Lol. 41 pictures are up on there right now…and 4 more went up today. It’s certainly the place for the ones of you who aren’t bothered about reading the blog and just want to see the ‘sexier’ versions of my pictures. Lol.

 I say ENJOY! (Copy and paste the above Onlyfans link and subscribe yourself happy.)

I hope this snow is nearly over. Yesterday I felt trapped and house bound…It was a nightmare. I was literally pulling my hair out…The kids were going mental and..

I had run out of flipping wine!

I was gonna brave the blizzards, just for a bit of wine! Yet for once, I went all sensible and left merriment to others!

BEING SNOWED IN YESTERDAY IS SO DULL. Especially if you have no booze or no fun. 😉

What else did I need to tell you?

Oh yeah. I’m gonna be changing my diet, in my quest for a more delicious body….

I’ll tell you all about it shortly…I just need to get everything set up!

Chrissie

ps/ Thank you for following my life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s All A Bit Of A Cheeky Jumble….

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Happy Monday!!! How are you all? I’m alright today, to say it’s Monday. I’ve got a lot of ‘first part of the week’ work on….and like i’ve just said to a friend,

‘Once it’s all sorted, shot, filmed, out there and promo’d…I’ll be able to finally shit..Shit? I meant *SIT*…Lol… chill and enjoy.’

There’s so any little bits going on and i’m just not being organised. I need to grab all the loose ends and bow tie them pronto. I’m sort of letting it take control of ME, rather than OWNING the reins like a champion.

Whatsapp Msg: ‘Get ya arse into gear and sort it out…’

I have modes. When i’m on ‘work’ mode, I ROCKET IT. I have tunnel vision and I smash it about with my Girl Boss’ wink. When i’m on ‘lets have fun’ mode…That’s all I can seem to do. And I always only do what I want. Never anything less. I’m naturally fun, so it’s easy. Then, finally when i’m on ‘chill’ mode, which is my favourite mode….I adorn the art of relaxing in true glamour puss style. I like to put things in categories…So technically, I must be more organised than i believe?

RIGHT?? PLEASE AGREE…

But like I said, a gzillion shoots, blogs, advert filming, auditions and all sorts is on the cards. I even have to finish off writing a book in that time.

I’ll do it. I’ve got my ‘updo’ in and that always makes me work harder. 😉 The kids even gave me neon ‘putty’ to destress me, in case I went mental.

They both went to their Fathers, yesterday afternoon and I molded putty into a penis, a bracelet and a bottle opener, because you really don’t need anything more than those three items in life.

In that time, I could’ve smashed work emails or shot more content. 🙂 But it was Sunday and Sunday’s are about chilling, right? Lol

I love my excuses.

I mean, who dashes about on a Sunday? (Other than all the most successful people in the world.  🙂 ) Sometimes, I get my priorities straight and other times…I just don’t.

Like right now, I’m having a conversation about how I was late to my own WEDDING REHEARSAL in LA, because I was shopping. They had to do it without me. Lol. I didn’t prioritize well on that day. (It was the first time around.)

Actually, in my DEFENSE…(and this is all in my ‘ABOUT ME’ section on this site, which you can all go and read, if you fancy.) I didn’t see it as a priority because I was actually already secretly married to the groom. No one knew, but us and our two best friends, who witnessed it. So the wedding was more like a ‘production‘ than a real life thing.

Shopping came first that day. 🙂

If I ever got married again….I’d do it privately…and tell you about it afterwards.

But back to work! I’ve managed to get distracted again…

The good thing is, that at least my business is ‘my own life’ and the work part of ‘my own life’ is online. So, like I said, once i’ve whipped all the ‘graft’ ..I can ‘glamourously’ relax for a bit, and let it HOPEFULLY work it’s own magic.

I like the word ‘MAGIC.’ Do you?

Right, i’m off because I’ve actually got quite a lot to master today. Plus, a parents evening for Junior this afternoon.

This conservation has just happened with one of my chick friends..

‘Why is my life shit!’

‘Your life isn’t shit! Yours is ace. Mine is shit.’

‘No, we’ve both got shit lives…but just doing shit differently..lol’

When that convo happens, you know you’re actually alright, because if things were really that shitty, you’d hit *panic* button and run around screaming. You wouldn’t be laughing about it. 🙂

Hope you have an amazing Monday!

Oh and i’m getting a ton of messages about my ‘Only Fans’ thing. The site where you can subscribe to ‘exclusive’ content…which is the ‘cheeky’ version of my selfies.

The reason why I’ve started that, is simply because I have a lot of followers from all different walks of lives, all different ages, all different genders and with all different ‘wants.’

And I feel as though everyone is sort of getting mixed up in a jumble. So i’ve giving people specific places to go…So that they can find what they are PERSONALLY looking for in Wunna Land.

If you like to follow my diary, actually read the blog and specifically follow my life..It’s here. It’s you number one WUNNA LAND SPOT. Everything you want or need to know or learn about me, is here.

My Instagram will become more ‘LIFESTYLE.’ It’ll become more ‘Influencery.’ (Which is always great for the girls and teens.)

One Facebook Profile will become ‘family.’

My Twitter will be my brief bursts of banter.

My Stories & Snapchat will just be video…

And my Only Fans content will be for all the gents, who just want to see the ‘cheeky’ pics, which they’ll have to subscribe too….as lets face it…I won’t have my bra on…and it’s cold. 🙂

This is all happening shortly…and by next month…It will all be in place. So, there’s no more jumble and each ‘social’ will have a different voice.

Got it?

See! I am organised after all! 😉

 

 

 

 

2,444,877 Views Later….

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Happy Sunday! I’m having a manic weekend of birthday celebrations for my little girl Ruby. We take celebrations really seriously in Wunna land …Meaning, if there’s any excuse to have a good old *knees up*…WE WILL. That’s what life is about!

She’s manage to survive 7 delightful years on this planet, with ME as her Mother, bestie and life guide…and GOSH, I couldn’t love her any more! I cant even describe how I feel. She’s my absolute treasure. And yeah, she’s a bit sassy…But I expect anything that enters the world, via my ‘lady parts’ to have a bit of ‘ooh laa’ in their system. I’m surprised she didn’t rock out with a 2 for 1 cocktails in her hand.

However…ANYWAY…

…There’s a story to Ruby and her shimmie onto this Earth Ball.

SEVEN YEARS AGO…(It was my daughters actual birthday, yesterday….) I was an itv2 show with Peaches Geldof… being interviewed, because as I had tinkered off the ‘Paris Hiltons BBF’ show a year before…I had fallen pregnant…and I had chosen to be a ‘glammy mammy.’ 

I can’t remember who was around me or on that show??? But, I do remember that big furry animals, Mark Wright, and Dom Jolly, were also being interviewed.

It was my ACTUAL DUE DATE and ITV had paid for a TAXI to pick me up from my doorstep in Yorkshire and DRIVE ME ALL THE WAY to the studio doors in London, to film. It was a 4 hour journey! They’d been on the phone to me all day, because I kept ‘umming’ and ‘arrring…‘about heading to London.

Me: ‘I don’t know if I can come??? I’m not coming down on the train. What if I go into labour!!!! I’m not having a flipping train baby….’

ITV: ‘We’ll sort this out for you…and when you get to the studio, we’ll have a Doctor right there for you, on set. Everything’s sorted. Your hotel’s booked…We’ll get you here. We’ll look after you…Please come. You don’t have too…But COME. Lol.’

And because they couldn’t have looked after me better and because I’d worked with a lot of them recently…The taxi pulled up outside my home…I was 9 months pregnant and IT WAS MY DUE DATE(I had already filmed previously…a couple weeks before the show, for the background story) and dressed in a tracksuit…I jumped in the cab and it drove me all the way to ITV in London….

I arrived there an hour before I was due to film and it was all manic and crazy. I was SO WELL LOOKED AFTER, yet there were bright lights, dressing rooms, green rooms, hair, makeup and outfit changes, chats with the producers, greeting with Peaches and everyone rushing around me to make sure I was okay. In fact, everyone kept trying to feed me. Lol

‘Honestly, I’m fine. I feel like i’ve eaten a whole child.’

The rubbish part about it, was the fact that everyone got to enjoy all the booze in the Green Room…and I got to chill and watch everyone have fun.

*WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*

Emma, who was also on the Hilton BBF show with me, on ITV2, was being interviewed on the show also. She was actually really lovely that night and rubbing my belly with ‘awws.’ But then she came out of her interview a bit narked off…

Ems: ‘They properly ripped me to shreds and it’s not fair. It’s alright for Chrissie, because she can take it and it’s what her brand IS! She’s fun and sassy…BUT they always make me look BAD and desperate and always make HER look good!!!!’

She’s a sensitive soul. Really lovely by nature. Yet, certainly get’s ripped into on interviews.

I was stood back stage, getting mic’ed up with my preggo bump before strutting down a giant catwalk for my interview. They were playing my VT to start egging the audience on…I was quite a controversial character during that time of my life…So you either ADORED ME MADLY, or HATED ME! It was kinda ‘showbiz’ at it’s finest.

They played the VT…I’m being filmed in the ‘Loose Women’ dressing room, i’ve having a spray tan, i’m being interviewed and dancing in front of a big red curtain on a dark lit stage and I’m rambling on about how i’d like to turn ‘just living life’ into a business, via my blog (which firstly I DID and secondly…they heavily promoted for me…) I had filmed all of this previously.

Anyway, the audience got all riled up and as they introduced me for my entrance, some of them CHEERED LOUDLY…and the rest of them BOOOOOOOOOOED, like their lungs couldn’t possibly *boo* anymore. 🙂

A member of the team just looked and me and smiled and showed me my stage entrance…I wet myself laughing and the *boos* looked back at him in a fit of giggles and said,

‘Cheers, you dick. Lol.’

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But Emma was right! I’m just made for it.

Half the audience loved everything that I stood for. Half of the didn’t like the fact that I was there on my due date, because I apparently should have been at home in my pj’s nesting, with my knitting. But i’m a hustler…What can I say? 😉

And I couldn’t have been looked after better. There was literally staff EVERYWHERE, incase my waters broke…ready to run in and save the day.

Secretly…ITV wanted me to go into Labour during my interview.

Me: ‘I know that you want me to go into Labour. Are you gonna start jumping out on me and scaring me, until my waters break?? Haha.’

This was an elevator conversation…Weirdly, I actually felt fine.I just knew Ruby wasn’t ready to come out yet…

Long story short….That night, Ruby didn’t pop out that night….I stayed over the evening in London, got home safely and even chilled a little, doing squats, eating pineapples and scaring myself, at my own mirror image….

When she did decide to *pop* out…It was filmed, moments of it were placed upon Youtube and just like that Ruby’s birth went VIRAL.

Obviously, I didn’t care about how ‘viral’ anything was at that time because I was in labour, having humans squeeze out of me…Yet, you know how you upload a video….(I wanted to look back and watch it, as it was the first time i’d ever had a baby and I also wanted to show Ruby the video when she was older…Plus, I live my life publicly, so sharing it on Youtube isn’t that much of an issue for me. It’s my job. Back in the day, it was seen as SO TABOO. Now, everyone’s doing it.) 

Anyway…

You know how you upload a video to Youtube and 100 people view it, then 400 people do…and over a 1000 people view it and you get all excited. I missed all that, I was recovering and having babies….

But my Mum walks into my hospital room, with refreshments and her phone in her hand…and says…

‘Chrissie….94,000 people have just watched your birthing video.’

There were loads of little snippets of the birth…Some were on 14,000 views, other’s on 81,000 views, some on 3,000 views and two that were on around 400,0000 views….

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I KNOW!!!

AND JUST LIKE THAT, WITHIN AROUND TWO HOURS….RUBY COMING INTO THE WORLD WENT VIRAL and over….

2,444,877 MILLION PEOPLE had at that point, viewed her arrival…

It was that crackers.

And at the time, loads of people said all sorts. Again, I didn’t care. I was so happy to be a new mum. I didn’t know that so many people would even watch it?

However, of course, due to the popularity of the videos…. with all of the love that came flooding in, I lot of ‘hate’ came a tumbling in also, as apparently it was so inappropriate of me, to upload my time in the labour room.

BLAH

In fact, months afterwards… all the hate’ did kinda make me feel a little weird and judged. I forgot to read the love.’ 

HOWEVER, let me tell you, YESTERDAY (my mum, dad, brother and the babies, all celebrated Ruby’s birthday at Sundown Adventure Land, which is one of her favourite places and I do want to thank ALL the staff there for being so utterly wonderful to us and making the day so special. We filmed parts of our day for you and placed them on my ‘social’ stories….They’re on my Insta, Facebook and Snapchat. Are you following them?) 

ANYWAY….Yesterday…..Ruby and I laid down in bed and I showed her the ITV2 show, and she watched a couple of the videos of her birth, that went viral and….

YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN HER BEAM! She did a face at me, like she couldn’t have felt more important. 😉

Ruby: ‘I can’t even believe that I was that special, that I was on the telly, in your belly and so many people watched me being born! Why do you look like a chipmunk?’

She said it so ‘7 year old’ and excited and understood every single part of it, as I told her the entire story from start to finish. She was fascinated. She threw her head back laughing and she just wanted to know everything about that moment….

So now….If i was ever in a situation where in which I was going to have another child….

I’d 100 PERCENT film it and upload it to Youtube…

I never know why so people are always scared of doing the things that feel so right or feel so normal, in case others judge them…when they’re not harming another single soul?

It’s weird that, isn’t it? So many people LIVE for what other people think! Why????  Like, I’m naturally someone who will not care about what ‘Joe Bloggs’ in Kansas thinks about my posts, if I’ve loved every single minute of it or chosen to do deliver it to the world. I’m someone who won’t even care, if someone close to me, a good friend, my mum, or if anyone disagrees with something that I am so passionate about. I’ll do it my way…always….IF, I think i’m right and if not, I’ll ask for help.

So, from my experience, I can tell you…

IN THE LONG RUN…

You will absolutely benefit from doing the things, that are TRUE to what YOU believe is right. The ones that smash it, don’t at all worry about the judgments of others. They go for it.

THEY LIVE THEIR VERSION OF LIFE PROUDLY AND WITHOUT FEAR. 

They don’t get caught up in what other people think of them, because they’re secure enough to stand their own ground.

Yet, the main reason why going with what YOU WANT TO DO, always works, is simply because it’s filled with utter love and over flown with your true passion.

When you do things out of love, wonderful things happen….

Don’t get it twisted 😉

 

 

9am Prosecco Rules, Trench Coats & Photoshoots

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Good morning my delicious Cherry Pies! How are you? I’m feeling great. I’m feeling productive and i’m finally getting my priorities straight. I sometimes wander off that little path of ‘focus,‘ when ‘adventure’ gets the better of me.

But today, i’m all ‘Career First.‘ (I’m always ‘Family’ so that goes without saying.) But, I guess what i’m saying is, that boys…come secondary to that.

BOOYAH! *AIR KISSES HERE.* Girl Power!

Sammi P: ‘You’re almost there. Don’t mess it up right now, by getting emotionally entangled in things that distract you from staying focused.’

Me: ‘Can we have Prosecco at 9am? Is that reasonable?’

Sammi P: ‘Yes. We’ll have to hide.’

Me: ‘We can’t hide, because that’s so *alcoholicy.* We have to own it and embrace it, like it’s completely fine. I want a 9am prosecco by a roaring fire place….Where can I do that?’

Sammi P: ‘I wish you weren’t such a love bunny. Man up! YOU ARE ALMOST THERE. Anyone that truly cares about you, will understand that, understand you and will always be there.’

Me: ‘I’m 37 not 19. I know that, you plank. Shit, I can’t do Prosecco. I’ve got a brand phone call thing in an hour and I told *Big A* from ‘House of Solo’ that i’d meet him for coffee after I’ve blogged.’

Sammi P: ‘You can do it at 1pm.’

Me: ‘Audition..’

Sammi P: You have no time for me ‘Hollywood.’

Let’s have some fun now. We’ve all nearly got through January, which is always a rubbish month. But I actually recieved some really great news last night before bed…so I’m technically quite chipper! Therefore I need you to be too!

I love good news before bed….You sleep like a baby.

But really how are you all? How’s Monday? Is not as bad as you think! I used to hate Mondays. I love them now. Monday’s rock with bells on.

But d’ya know what doesn’t…trying to find a trench coat, red heels and the right foundation. (I’m an Estee Lauder ‘Double Wear’ user…I just like foundation options.) Anyway, that was yesterday’s mission. I didn’t find a trench coat or GOOD red heels. It’s for a shoot, that i’m directing MYSELF. And I love the ones that I direct myself because they’re always sooo ‘tell a story.’ 

Obviously, if you’ve been on my ‘socials’ of recent. You will have witness the fact that there are quite of a few ‘sexy,’ some may say ‘suggestive’ pictures, that i’ve either taken myself, had taken, shot…and posted up.

Everybodies engaging with them. They’re getting a of interest from the gents…The odd bit of interest from the Ladies… But I just wanted to make sure that the pics don’t make you girls feel odd. They shouldn’t because i’m evil, i’m not remotely ‘slappery’ and if anything, i’m all about embracing your body, enjoying the way you look, expressing confidence, without arrogance and more importantly, embracing and expressing the way you FEEL. It’s the way I see beauty, it’s my version of it….I’m a ‘creative’ by nature…so I kinda see it as ‘being arty.’

So, don’t let it feel weird, as I love all your feeds, all your pics, I love looking into your lives…But I get it. because the other day, the most beautiful Italian model ever, appeared on my newsfeed, fully naked, rolling around in a wine cellar. I adored the photo. I loved it. I loved her. But it did make me feel…’

*Waaaaaaaaaa.*

I guess, she tested my emotional security level a little? Lol. She’s beautiful. What a girl. I want to roll around naked in a wine cellar and look like that! It was a GREAT shot. I actually shoot with the same photographer shortly for a popular magazine and i’m quite nervous…because I feel like he’s shot some of the worlds’ most amazing models…and they’re models of the ‘glamour’ variety…and well I don’t want him to think i’m shit.

Photog: ‘You’re a strong model, a popular model and a TYPE. We’ll shoot Monday. I fly into London at the weekend from Vegas…I’ve booked you in. If i thought you were shit, I wouldn’t waste my time..’

So yes, lots going on…

But i’ve got to dash….Please follow all my ‘socials’ and stories! I have got some career surprises coming up for you next month!

Twitter: chrissiewunna

Instagram: chrissiewunna

Snapchat: chrissiewunna1

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/chrissiewunnadotcom

Right, i’ve got to go. I’ve got a meeting with ‘House of Solo’ Magazine.

Thank you for following my diary!

Kisses,

Chrissie

Swag, Fire & Japanese Living Rooms

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I was laid in bed at 2am this morning, Googling ‘Japanese Living Rooms?’ It was dark. I was naked. I couldn’t sleep because my mind was a swirling with, let’s say ‘solutions.’ (The good thing about me, is that if there’s a problem…a big one…I am really good at finding OUR strength in YOU, evoking my kitten strength and with ‘fire’ creating a more positive solution. I get it from my Mama. Sometimes we do Versace rings, other times we do solutions.)

So, i’d had this brilliant day with Ruby and Junior and The Wunnas. We shopped, we lunched, we movie watched a home…(Karate Kid with Jaden Smith in) and the children were a DREAM. I couldn’t even believe how flipping good they were! I even kept having to TELL them how good they were because, I couldn’t at all believe it!

Ruby: We’re just really happy …’

AWWWW!

(When you’re a Mum. You LOVE HEARING THAT!)

I couldn’t be too bothered with tending to all my ‘socials,’ yesterday, as I do it all week long…I needed a moment off and you never get a moment off….So I posted a quick ‘throw back’ picture, that I actually really love…and got on with my family day.

YIPPPEEEEEEEEEEE! BEAMING!

Balance is everything.

(So if prosecco.)

Brilliant day. Superb! I am the luckiest glamour puss alive and i’m steaming ahead with work, feeling FREE, embracing opportunity and just really enjoying life at 37. It’s easy. But anything you love, or anything that fits you like a glove (be it in work or love) is simple. There’s no stress. No hassle. I like no stress and no hassle.

So, I’m happy.

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Around, 9pm, we’re all at mine, settled, chilling and scattered around the home. The kids are in pj’s. I’m in my comfies, which is pj bottoms and just a bra. It’s either that…or just pj bottoms. I’m not really bothered about hiding behind a million layers.. I’m body confident. I even love my wibbly bits, that shouldn’t really be wibbly. I might not be ‘Vogue’, but i’m alright. I’ll live. 🙂

Do KNOW that BOTH my children are body confident because of my ‘no quarms’ attitude to my own body. I guess, I accidentally taught them that. (Saying that, I also taught them to be ‘Divas,’ which isn’t one of my best qualities.)

Anyway, around 8 pm, my mum’s still at mine and she slowly walks, whilst reading a text, upstairs to m room to deliver some ‘awkward news.’ She thought it was bad news. I did for a second. It actually made me grumpy for a moment because she had passed it on the ‘worry parcel,’ (as I like to call it.)

I dropped that ‘parcel’ straight away because it’s not what i’m about. I’ll find a solution with a smile and move it forward with ‘gusto.’ I’m the most flexible, really prepared human being. Lol

My Mum’s really blunt, so she’ll just ‘say it out…’ like I would… I liek that about her. There’s not jigger pokery. Just the facts.

Plus, I hate it when people over ‘dramatize’ situations. I say it all the time, y’know…when they make a ‘mountain out of a molehill.’ They only either do it because their own life lacks a ‘thrill,‘ they’re just dull, weak, or they want attention. Lol. That’s my Prosseco theory!

I once dated a boy, who always did that and it annoyed me SO MUCH…that I left him. I can’t stand it that much. 🙂 I just believe that strong people find solutions. We share strength. (My chick friends will tell you..I am awful at sympathy. Hahaha.) Find your swiggedy swag!

Long story short…

I believe everything DOES happen for a reason…So after a moment to myself, a big old think….I marched downstairs with my ‘solution’ face on and my positive ‘I’ve got this Mum’ vibe, in full force.

I’m good like that!

I gave some really big SPEECH. Like I was some kind of Locker Room coach and my team was getting beat…then I wrapped it up with charm, love and ‘so this is what we’re doings…’ and just like that….everyone slept well.

I laid awake until 2am. Haha Maybe, I talk shit and just take on other peoples stress for them?

In a second, we were sorted. Bad news, was turned into good, to the point where I dare say that I’m excited. I can’t tell you about it yet…but it involves a ‘doer upper.’ Basically, I was just sick of ‘silly dallying’ around and letting someone try to ‘Rule The Roost.’ I took it into my own hands and now it’s getting sorted.

*Cya Doll!*

Wunna is SWAG!

God, I had some much stuff to tell you, but instead i’ve rambled on about all that! But yes, that’s how I ended up Googling ‘Japanese living rooms.’ I couldn’t sleep, because my mind was POSITIVELY busy. I was actually gonna Snapchat the fact that I couldn’t sleep…but whenever I do, everyone messages me frantically because they can’t sleep either…Makes me phone buzz, literally every second, which keeps me up even more. Lol.

I’m loving Sunday. I hope you are too! I’m on my newsfeed and everyones now engaged or getting married. Even flipping Ed Sheran!

GO ON! GOOD BOY!

Someone inboxed me a poem this morning…So I’m saving the read for this afternoon. It’s the same guy who follows me on Instagram, a Wunna Land Fan…He sent me the other one previously, which I posted in my blog. I liked it. It was lovely of him.

I love a poem! Even if it’s just ‘comedy.’

I also recieved the most beautiful card all the way from one of my Gay guy besties in LA, THEO…who i’ve known for 10 years. He is one of my BEST BEST FRIENDS. He sent me the card,just to remind me that he ‘loves’ me and ‘misses’ me…I’ll tell you all about it in my next post, as I need to head off to buy foundation and find breakfast.

I love that my other LA guy friend ‘Tarik,’ (he actually hosted a show called ‘Flab to Fab’ years ago in LA, that a ‘before he was super famous’ Perez Hilton was on. Anyway, Tariks all buff, married and funny. He used to always have a soft spot for Me or any chick really and he’d continuously lean over the gym counter attempting to whisper ‘sweet nothings,’ at me, like I was his world….

Tarik: ‘Bitch, you should love me.’

Me: ‘Hahah. Get lost dude. I don’t. You need to go back to Romance Camp.’

Anyway, he was asked to turn the music up louder, in his home, so it felt like a ‘party party.’ ONLY IN LA, will you hear a guy, before a music turn up, utter the words,

‘GIRL, HOLD MY PROTEIN SHAKE…’

Right, i’m off.

I need foundation.

I hope you love Sunday toooooooooo!

Chrissie x

 

 

PJ Skating, My Insta Pics & Ghost Pirates

I’ve just got done shimming alongside a bit of ‘Dancing On Ice’ where I skated around my living room laminate flooring, in my socks and pj’s, under the distinct misconception that I WAS some kinda ice Goddess. (I can’t skate for celery sticks.) But it puts you in the mood, doesn’t it. Makes you feel all wonderous and elegant. All divine and glamourous. Did it all with a Desperado in my hand. I think I made it ‘swag.’

I’ve had a weekend to myself with my family. It’s been weird, because with all the family ‘stuff’ that’s been going on, with my Grandma etc……(it was the funeral Friday,) my system took a shock.

No not a shock? How can I describe how I’ve felt…? I’ve felt like i’ve mentally been rummaging through the bottom on my handbag, trying to find that five pence piece, that you really need for the parking meter, that you definitely know is in there somewhere, yet you can’t find it anywhere.

(Wait…some strange guy has tagged a picture of himself on my Facebook wall…and also tagged 39 other humans in. Why do that! I hate it when people do that! Would you ever? I mean, I get self promo..but Jeeze…don’t do that. It’s bad manners..and I hate poor social etiquette. Lol) 

Anyway, I needed two days of ‘losing my mind’ and filling myself with anxiety…Lol…and now…I’ve come through the tunnel and i’m back to my positive self. I’m feeling great again.

YIPPPEEE!

Which means…when you have a case of ‘da blues‘…in may case it was bereavement….FEEL IT because you’ll get over it much quicker ..but then ‘snap out of it’…take the time that you need, but try not to dwell on it…I started to see the positive in everything…and it feels so wonderful…should I say ‘WUNNA FUL’ to be back. 🙂

My bounce back ability used to be much faster than two flipping days! Must be my age. Lol. In LA, it would be around 14 minutes. 🙂

(All your messages and comments have been great. i’ve read them all and replied to every single one i’ve managed to catch. It’s really made my kitten soul feel dandy! I thank you so much for that! Oh and if you won a video message/personalised photo with my SCREENSAVER COMP…I shot them today, so you will have them soon..) 

So today, I posted this pic…on my Instagram, my Facebook Fan page, my stories, my Snapchat…my everything…Not on my Twitter though for some reason?

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And I love this pic. I think it’s sexy, it tells a story and it kinda makes you use your imagination…evokes your inner ‘creative.’ That’s something that I hope to inspire in others. I want to encourage people to EXPRESS. I want to encourage the entire world to keep a diary…and if not in written word, or a blog, a vlog, or anything inbetween…an Instagram profile, still…to me…counts as the ‘picture diary’ of your life…

Obviously ‘Wunna Land’ is doing pretty alright now…;) (thanks to you.) However, I’ll tell you that I TRULY believe that something does well out of love and passion, hard work and dedication. What makes me feel good about writing this blog, isn’t about a bit of fame and a little bit of fortune…(maybe a bit of fortune 😉 ) it’s the simple fact, that I LOVE documenting my life, telling you how I feel…I have a genuine love for ‘diary writing’ (everyone in my family, even the kids, keeps a diary.) I’ve done it for almost 10 years now, all over the world…and done it out of love.

I love that it connects people…and that humans, from all walks of life, from all over the world (like you NOW)…. I like that you all *click* on chrissiewunna.com and for that second, you’re all connected via Wunna Land.

It’s a trip! It’s crazy!

Anyway, one of my chick friends, who was with me early today, before meetings, sat on my bed and watched me post the above picture…and said…

Friend: ‘It’s so weird, to see you post that pic right now, when you’re sat here sat in a bra and pj bottoms, with a poached egg sandwich..’

Me: ‘Why? Lol. It’s still me…’

Friend: ‘Haha…yeah, I know you idiot. It just that, I think that if people didn’t actually know you in real life…Like if they haven’t met you, or they …I don’t know, you’re personalities just really different to that picture…’

Me: ‘What? In a bad way?? Pass us my coffee…It’s on my dresser…’

Friend: ‘Like in a pictures…you look all sassy and moody and sexy…Y’know…all stuck up and high maintenance…and…’

Me: ‘Awww! Cheers! Lol.’

Friend; ‘No. Hahaha! In real life, you’re all funny and warm and giggly and I don’t reckon people would think that…They wouldn’t know that about you… They’d either get the wrong impression and if I was a guy and looked through your pics…I’d find you intimidating…’

Me: ‘Good job I don’t have to date you then… Why are you not passing me my coffee?? Yeah, I get what you mean…I get it. I did used to be a properly good glamour model….Lol’

Friend: ‘Shut up Wunna…’

Me: ‘It’s like being an actor…Just because you play a role for a picture, doesn’t mean you ARE that role… I love my pics. Tomorrow, I’ll post a dead smiley one just for you…’

Friend: ‘Really?’

Me: ‘No. I’ve already shot it. It’s sassy. Haha. Stop trying to make Wunna Land about YOU. 🙂  Get your own land.’

Then we bought more coffee and did Sunday. I love Sundays, they’re my favourite day ever, because for me, I associate it with ‘chill time. I love to relax. I handle ‘busy’ with panache…But gosh, I adore the art of ‘chilling.’

I’ve just read a story online about a woman who had MARRIED A 300 YEAR OLD GHOST, of a PIRATE??? She apparently committed to such wonder, because she was absolutely sure that she would never ever find a decent man to love her, the way she truly wished.

That is TOTALLY a much SEXIER version of the ’80 year old, lonely cat lady’ tale…

I say..

‘Good on ya!’

I mean if she wants to marry a PIRATE GHOST then go for it. I actually think there’s probably thousands of people in a lot WORSE normal marriages than that! Lol.

I might try it…

(I love that someone has just commented on my Facebook Fanpage…Tried to compliment me by tagging my name in the ‘comment’ section, before his sweet words…BUT INSTEAD, he’s tagged the wrong name and it says the name of an entirely different ‘Chrissie.’ )

HAHAHAHAH!

All he’s typed is..

‘Oh my *insert the wrong Chrissie here*…’

And then followed it up with all the best emojis. There’s a kissy face, flames, a rose, heart eyes…everything…

The other ‘Chrissie,’ who spells it  ‘Chrissi’ has responded with a

‘That’s not me… Lol.’

Nothing is better than the wrong tag…Like when I accidentally tagged a half naked picture of myself as ‘Chrissie Hynde’ instead of myself…But forgot to remove it…. and when I accidentally sent my Mum a naughty text…:)

Ooops!

Let’s all marry GHOST PIRATES.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flat Caps, Prosecco & What I Think About Love

I’m totally sat in a quiet bar filled with gentlemen in tweed flat caps and it’s amazing. You know you’re in full blown Yorkshire when that happens and you know that the ‘flat caps’ aren’t bothered about Wunna Land. They just get to tending to their simple, happy, daily routine….Oriental girls who take selfies in dressing rooms, don’t matter, unless she’s buying them an afternoon..

‘Pint of Johns, please..’

I’ve been thinking about love recently. Probably because I’ve been chatting to all my friends, be they near or far… and most of them have chosen a really different existence to mine. I adore that. I love it when people own THEIR VERSION of life.

Everyone’s starting new chapters or relighting old ones, shaking off baggage, for more suited loves and no ones seems to be going ‘solo.’ Everyone seems all loved up. It’s everywhere. It’s everywhere I look…and yes, i think it’s wonderful…BUT…

I’M JEALOUS.

(Bad way to be…)

I love, love…but here I am, sat amongst the ‘flat caps’..in a corner on my laptop…alone…with my prosecco. I’m happy…I am. Who wouldn’t be with a morning prosecco? 😉 But GOSH, i’m ready for a bit of ‘cosy,’ dream come true, perfect kinda love now. I’m 37. Whop on that piece of armour, jump on that stallion and hurry yourself to Wunna Land.

Guy friend Fox: ‘You chose a different kind of life…and well you’re just too picky..’

Me: ‘You probably shouldn’t refer to yourself as not THAT picky when you’re just got engaged. lol’

Chick Friend Tess: ‘You’re picky…I think you’re picky. But I guess…’

Me: ‘No, but obviously I get a lot of love from my socials…but that’s not real…and well, whenever I like someone…they never like me back. Or if I do, we date and then something goes wrong…’

Guy Friend Fox: ‘Do you fancy someone now…?’

Me: ‘Yes…’

Guy Friend Fox: ‘Would they know that….?’

Me: ‘Yes…’

Chick Friend Tess: ‘Then what’s the problem…’

Me: ‘ No problem…I love that you’ve assumed that he must obviously adore me…’

Chick Friend Tess: ‘He must, or he’s blind, his bits don’t work or he has no sense of humour…’

(Lol…You can always count on your girls to make you feel mighty!) 

I kinda like ‘Firmonnell’ more, because she’ll tell it to me straight with a…

‘Cry me a river and all that, Now shut ya face and crack on.’

Yet is exceedingly supportive in all that I do. All of the girls are, Double B, Fairytale, Hustle, Mel, Lady Shizzle…the lot….

But back to lurve…

To me, there are three stages to love (and i’ve nicked this off Ellen Degeneres, my girl crush, who is happily married) …there is ‘HAPPY,’ followed by ‘LOVE...,’ followed by ‘COMPLETION.’

What stage are you at?

We’ve all been happy, we’ve all been in love….yet i’m at a stage where i kinda fancy being someones ‘completion…‘ I fancy that. Doesn’t everyone…? But isn’t that saying we can’t be happy or ‘complete’ by ourselves?

Wait, i’m being ‘negatory.’

We all want different things. We all have a different’ version of ‘completion.’ It’s such a lovely phase. I definitely don’t want to be 72, alone…with all my cats…and no company..and that’s coming from one of the most independent girls, who LOVES HER OWN company.

I’m one to just happily wait around, doing life merrily, making a name, making some money, loving my kids…under the conception that fate will simply throw ‘my hero’ at me… he’ll ‘roddle‘ up from his fall, look toward me and think..

‘AAAAH BLISS. COMPLETION. The only girl I could ever share my entire life with!’

Guy friend Fox: ‘I love how you’ve just read out ‘someone’ like it can be anyone….’

Me: ‘SHUT UP LOL. I’m writing my blog! Get me a drink..’

Chick friend: ‘Do CAREER FIRST Wunna… You could’ve been a star right now, if you didn’t waste previous time on dickheads from 2000 and something past. Total planks. You’ve never been treated well enough.’

Me: ‘Get me a drink.. Ooh, my agent’s Whatsapped me.. And shush, I AM DOING CAREER. I’m loving career. *&&*&*****$£$!!’

Away from all that. I’m excited about life. More good work news came today and I’ve just signed up to THREE MORE collabo’s which you don’t have to worry about, because you will know when WUNNA LAND has shimmied into their world. I also have two more auditions. Good ones….

I currently have my

‘MAKE WUNNA YOUR SCREENSAVER..’

..competition going on. Mainly on my Facebook fanpage. You save me as your phone or laptop screensaver…inbox me the shot and you will recieve a personally photographed and signed photo from me…to you…that no one else will have…

IF YOUR SCREENSAVER MAKES TOMORROWS BLOG…

You will also WIN a VIDEO MESSAGE FROM ME.

I’m loving all the screensavers that are coming in! They’re great and i’m rubbish at running comps and being able to deal with it all. But i want to interact with you all more and bring you into my world. My diary. This diary.

I’m getting lots of SOCIAL LOVE. It is so hard to keep up with all the replying, but i’m trying my best and only replying to my ‘comments’ or any current screensaver inbox pics.

Replying is so difficult when it comes in MASS LOADS, cos part of me can’t find the time…without being on my phone all day…yet that is kinda my job. …so what am I moaning about? Then I don’t want anyone to feel ‘left out,’ so I don’t want to only reply to some and not them all…It’s all very tragic. Lol…

Kinda makes me need prosecco.

But I appreciate the love…

Here are some of the pics you’ve missed, if you haven’t been following my Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter or Instagram…

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One of my good guy friends, who plays,..’London Business Man‘ in this merry little blog, is currently messaging me and giving me a lecture on ‘nudity.’ Followed with a..

‘Listen, I think you look mind blowing. You know that.I completely fancy you.  So I’m not judging you…but…/Don’t even give me the, i’ve got a jumper on line…’

I don’t need a lecture. I’m a grown up. I think my pics are great. I wave the flag for womanhood and for women being MORE CONFIDENT, in ANY WAY WE CHOOSE….And technically, if you can’t see a jumper, then SIR, you are simply BLIND.

LECTURE OVER.

FYI/ Dear any future friends or  ‘Completions…’ You have to be okay with Wunna Land, or I will rebel and not like you.

Hurrah!

Happy Tuesday!

Chrissie! x