Last Two Months, Singledom & Living

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I’m literally having the most amazing time, dipped in ’30 something’ year old fun, glamourosity and life. I’m single, but i’m crushing, and i’m whole heartedly delighted that we’ve strapped all other festivities under our belts and we’re now getting armed in sequins and getting our ‘shimmie’ on into Christmas.

My absolute favourite time of year!

(And not just because I have a December birthday! Hint Hint! No wonder i’m mental, if I was birthed during a time, when penguins sang songs about reindeers, whilst wrapped in tinsel, by elves, who worship a dude with a giant white beard and have an after work mulled wine!) 

Yippee!

It’s just a great time of year, where nothing but tinsel and celebrations matter. Cocktails are poured. Events are a plenty. Cuddles and laughter, meander around cosy city streets & hearts are filled with love, MORE than they are broken at Christmas. You can choose to stay in, or choose to play out. Either way, it is always sweet rum drizzled and delightful!

Memories are made during this time of year.

Memories are also treasured….because we all kinda grab our lip gloss, after a Bailey’s…or look through our ‘ye olde’ phone pics and remember. Your favourite tune will play on the radio, just as you had it in your head. You’ll walk past a restaurant, that will remind you of some guy, or some girl, you once dated. Someone will totter past you in a hurry, in a busy shopping centre and they’ll smell just like the crush, you’ve always wanted to score. Memories are great. They’re not there to dwell on though. Don’t get caught up with memories, until it’s time. Until you’re old and ready. Until you’ve done your absolute back in and you can’t possibly dash, in your glitter heels to ‘Tattu’ on time, for a ‘smokey cocktail’ without feeling the pain.

Until then…just live.

Just LIVE and don’t apologise for doing so.

Guy friend: ‘See, Wunna! It’s THIS shit that makes you beautiful. The tits and all the rest of it, come second fiddle to all this shit.’

Me: ‘I thought you said you loved my boobs?’

Guy Friend: ‘Fucking hell. Haha. Take a compliment.’

Anyway….

Something great will happen to us all, which will make our kitten soul’s beam, before we wave off 2018. Something will also make us cry. But that’s life and that’s why it’s wonderful.

We’re given a story to create. A life to live…and if nothing else, we are giving the opportunity to FEEL. For 10 years this year, i’ve written CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM. It actually started 14 years ago, on Myspace. All I’ll have at the end of the day, as i’m swaying to Britney in my rocking chair, are my memories.

Go get what you want. Don’t let anything, especially fear stop you. You might not win. Yet if you don’t try, you won’t have lived. That’s what we’re here to do.

Don’t get it twisted.

(I can’t believe i’m writing this in a play area. Haha.)

It doesn’t matter whether you spend it with good friends, family, boyfriends, girlfriends, the people you shouldn’t be playing around with, lovers, old spirits, new crushes or with your next door neighbours cat?

You’ve only got 2 more months LEFT on 2018, so make sure you LIVE IT. Make sure you enjoy it. Do what makes you happy. Find you inner life love and make the end of this year (which has had it’s ups and downs for everyone) WORTH IT.

Create magical moments.

You’re here for a good time, not a long time.

Over the last week, i’ve probably done everything. I’ve cocktailed with old friends, which found me sharing fireworks with them, as we cheered on our favourites on Strictly, discussed my tragic love life and enjoyed time with family, over wine.

Helen: ‘You’re just so pretty.’

Me: ‘Aww! That’s sweet. But everything is literally pinned, sewn or glued on. I mean, let’s face it, you couldn’t put me through the wash, could you!

Helen: ‘Hahah..

Gina: ‘I fucking love you…

I’ve talked to strangers, with cucumber drinks at The Botanist, Leeds. (I love The Botanist, Leeds, because it’s so  hidden away and freshly cosy. ) Inspired people at Restaurant Bar & Grill. I’ve whizzed and whirled and eaten pear salads, with a fruity umbrella drink in my hand and with my own laughter filling the rooms.  I’ve shopped. I’ve loved. I told Matt Goss, that he’s my celeb crush. He pretty much liked it 😉 which made my heart swoon. Lol.

I’ve been a great soul, an even better Mum. But most of all, loved telling you my story. (Your questions have been amazing.)

I don’t know what happens to me in the end. I just know it’s something wonderful.

I don’t ask for much. I just ask for peace. (And the man of my dreams to share life with me. I have everything else, I need.)

Everyone keeps going on about how single I am because it’s apparently so unbelievable?

‘How the hell are you…’

‘YOU’RE Single?

‘How are you, even nearly single..’

I certainly am, and I certainly don’t know why? Haha.

Firmonnell (My chick best friend) : ‘She’s single by choice!’

If I had the answer, I wouldn’t be strutting around with a neon ‘Going Solo’ arrow above my head, would I? I’d be building my white pickett, rum stained fence, to Disney classics.

If you’re a 30 something singleton too. Don’t worry! I hear so many of you worry!

DON’T.

The worrying alone is not seductive. Lol. It’s awkward. It’s thumb twiddly.

In this day, being a single 30 something year old woman (I’m 37,) three marriages down, doesn’t make you rubbishy, like no one wants you. To me, it makes you powerful because you now KNOW what you want and instead of standing at the side of the dance hall, waiting for some guy to ask you to boogie, you’re confident enough to just make your OWN fun, with your gent of choice and leave the party whenever you wish.

I’ve never been so chased by boys in my life, than I have in my 30’s. That’s the honest truth and it’s because i’m much more wiser, comfortable and THAT ALONE IS HOT. It’s sexy. I know how I want to feel. I know how I want to look. I know what will make me happy.

Be interested in yourself and others will take interest in you. Give people something of value and they will jump on board. (My LA balcony buddy taught me that, over balcony tea….as we walked the drummer from Maroon Five, do life, through a window. He was our ‘across the way’ neighbour. He once lifted me back into my condo, when passed out drunk, as a gaggle of gay men surrounded me…not to help, but to perv on my hot laywer roommate. Lol

I was in a lime green fedora. Haha. That’s all I remember. I love West Hollywood nights. I got into a state outside ‘The Abbey’ in West Hollywood because Ryan, my crush didn’t love me. (Turns out he secretly did, but treated me badly because he had a girlfriend?)

Ry: ‘I was crazy about you. I didn’t know what to do? So I made a weak decision because i’m a pussy.’

His last name is ‘March.’ I have it tattooed on my right inner arm. J

Friend: ‘You two were going on dates and everything! How fucking weird!!!

But that was years ago….and at the time it was shit! However now, it’s a fond, funny memory.

Time is like magic….It’s certainly precious, so you should use it to your advantage. Yet at the same time, let it fly, because it heals things without you realizing. 😉

I guess, everything is just about balance….and  cocktails.

Chrissie x

 

 

 

I’m Looking For Love…

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I’m looking for love. After a lifetime of lust, life, fun, dates, mistakes, love, true love, marriage, divorce, flings, happiness and heartache…I’m still here, stood tall, (I’m only 5 ft 3,) with a smile on my face, telling you, that I’m excited for what Cupid might have in store for me in the future…

Cupid and I have not been mates. Lol.

We’ve been on a journey. Yet, the thing about ups, downs and journey’s is that in the end, you buddy up. You ‘buddy up’ because, even though you chose a bumpy path and disagreed all the way through it,  you tackled the ‘bumpiness’ together. It brings you closer, than you expected.

Only good can come from a bit of ‘bumpiness.’ 

Therefore, my faith is Cupid is always close.

One day, he’ll *wink* and shoot an arrow straight through, with my ‘soulmate’ as his target. 😉

ALWAYS BELIEVE IN LOVE.

Always, BELIEVE in love. 

At the end of the day, my love life may not read ‘paper perfect,’ but it’s real. It’s my story My fairytale. I’ve learnt everything the hard way, but LEARNING and discovering IS everything.

Today, I asked you, to ask ME questions about love, dating and relationships, on my Insta Story…and let me tell you, i’ve adored every single second of it. I actually couldn’t appreciate it more and with 47 more questions, still waiting to be answered, as I blog this ‘sassy bit of wordy‘ from a wine bar, I wanted to let you know that you’re making me feel ALIVE. 😉

The love part of our lives, is such a BIG part isn’t it. Even when we push it back to the very far parts of our mind and or fold it into a box for storage, it’s still a HUGE part of our lives always. It’s all we have. Life itself and the love we embrace within our time.

A really successful guy…Well… You’ll know him on here for being ‘The Swirl.’ I remember being sat on an Ipswich sofa with him one time and he uttered the words…

‘I guess, i’m going to be alone forever…’

I don’t know why I remember it? But I do. That’s the opposite to what I want. I mean, I’m independent. I’m cheeky. I’m sassy. I don’t want to compromise my heart. I’d rather be a happy singleton than be with the wrong guy.

YET, I’d hate to be alone forever. I’d hate to not have a best friend to share my life with, in the end. 

I mean, i’d be alright. But it wouldn’t be my favourite.

Chick friend: ‘Chrissie, guys aren’t going to use you for sex forever. One day, some guy is gonna look at you, with fresh puppy dog eyes and know that if he didn’t have you by his side for a lifetime, he’d be foolish.’

Me: ‘It’s not about the use me for sex thing. I’m a big girl. I love sex. I just can’t seem to find Mr.Right anywhere. Or the guys that I usually have down as potential Mr. Rights, don’t give a shit.’ 

So, this is what i’m looking for….

I am looking for a thoughtful, romantic, sexy, loving gentleman, who is fun, naughty, a bit cheeky and real. I want him to be my best friend. I want us to do lots together. Discover life together. LIVE. Adore each other. Have lots of hot sex everywhere. Haha.

It honestly can’t be that hard!!! Lol.

Why am I finding it SO difficult?

Chick friend: ‘You’re ambitious in the guy stakes. You know what you want and you go for it. In that time, no one measures up to what you’re going for.’

But like I said today, i’m a confident girl, so I have no problem letting a guy know I fancy him. Men need a ‘green light’ as I call it. I grew up in LA and in LA, the girls are brimming with confidence. It’s a sexy trait,

However, I will ‘green light’ and ‘bat the ball’ into their court and it’s up to them, from that point onward. I leave it to them, because nothing is less sexy, than having to chase a guy.

I enjoy it when they chase, it makes me feel like a woman.

They can choose to leave it, or chase it…

That way, it gives both parties, the power. It’s equal.

What I wanted to say today, was to ensure all you other singletons, be you young, old, rich or poor…whatever walk f life you’v elived or come from….

It’s going to be okay. 

Don’t stress. Just enjoy.

I mean, I know so many people who take on new love excitement with doubt and fear.

What could be worse!

Life shows you someone fanciable. You like them…but then you think of 101 reasons as to why, it can’t or won’t work.

DON’T.

It’s foolish of you.

I know, from 37 years so far, that in life, in love…

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.

Be brave. Take it a day at a time. At your own pace…AND JUST FUCKING EMBRACE AND ENJOY IT.

If i can still stand here with all the hope in my heart, as happy as can be, after everything i’ve been through, all over the world…(my hearts broken in almost every continent, lol) then you can tooooo!

No one’s gonna fancy ya if ya miserable.

Cheer up. Flow with the punches..and just let life magic, take it’s course.

I believe in fate, magic and life….

For some reason, I haven’t meant to meet ‘my forever’ just yet, but I will and when i do, after everything that’s tinkered my way in life…this time, i’ll be ready. 😉

Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie, x

 

Grandma’s, Dick Pics & Birthdays

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Life is great right now. Everything seems to be slotting itself into the right place 😉 and even though i’m wishing for even MORE amazing times to come, i’m not feeling foolish enough to forget that right now, I’ve got it pretty good.

Yesterday, I got you all to ask me questions on ‘sex,’ on my Insta Story and you excelled yourselves. My story hadn’t been viewed as much in donkies years. Lol. But yes, sex is a big part of my 37 year old world, so I really loved answering your questions, simply because I think it still has a bit gummy ‘TABOO’ label, slapped upon it, when it comes to openly chitter chatter.

I’m a cocktailing Glamour Puss. If I know about anything, I know about ‘whisky sour’ dripped sexy time. 

(All was going well, until some sexual therapist woman, decided to hate on me.)

There’s plenty of room for everyone, so don’t try and elbow me out the way. I hate giving direct advice, because I don’t agree with telling other humans HOW to live. All I do is share and I do it by telling MY OWN story and letting people ‘take’ or ‘leave’ anything they want from what the hear.

Anything inspiring comes from MY OWN life experience and emotion and not from from a dusty old ‘Refer to Paragraph A’ textbook.

That’s a polite and glamourous way of saying…

FUCK OFF. 🙂

I’ve loved Halloween, but i’m glad it’s over. I might even light a few sparklers and get Bonfire night out the way, simply to hurry it up to my favourite time of year….

CHRISTMAS.

I’m a December born baby. I have a birthday on the 19th and this year is extra special because i celebrate..

10 years of CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM 

I actually hit 10 whole years, earlier in the year. I think March?  But I didn’t want to celebrate being ace, in March. 😉  Instead, I wanted to give myself a big old ‘pat’ on the tequila back ON my ACTUAL birthday…so i’m gunna!

Wiggle.Wink. Hip Bump.

I was gonna throw a big old party, but I decided not to…Instead I’m gonna do it my own way..and you’ll find that out shortly. 😉

Strap in, Dollies.

(Wait, I feel like I need another 11.38am wine. Except it’s now 12.40, so I’m all cool and appropriate.)

It’s lil’ Sam Reece’s birthday today. He’s turned twenty six and it’s great. I’ve loved our paths crossing this year & our hungover Sunday morning snapchat banters.

He’s certainly the sexiest twenty six year old my eyes have ever seen, so I felt the need to post this pic everywhere. 😉 It’s a beautiful piece of art.

Ladies of the world, you can ‘thank’ me later.

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(Oh God. I’m sat in at The Mallard in Doncaster blogging. I always choose the quiet ‘away from absolutely everyone’ corner, but it’s got really busy. A grandma, is out with her grandson and is looking at me every three seconds. She’s doing that thing where her Grandson says or does something impressive, & wants me to acknowledge it also. Hahah. I feel under pressure to perform. Lol) 

This is not what I signed up for. Haha.

Now dudes are hounding my Facebook messenger and sending me photos of their genitalia. I don’t mind a dick pic AT ALL, if I know, and fancy the guy. I think it’s hot. It’s sexy.

Yet, I don’t like dick pics from strangers, at all. It’s just not sexy and not because i feel disrespected. Just because I’m not sexually excited by anyone, until they’ve managed to mentally stimulate me.

Flirt with my mind. Get in my pants. Simples. Haha.

Grandma’s. Dick pics. AND I have a tractor in my hand bag. I just can’t cope. Lol.

WHAT IS MY LIFE!!

Chick friend: ‘Can you not eat a chicken wing, like you’re giving it head please. It’s a family pub.’ 

Me: ‘And don’t I fucking know it! Hahaha.’ 

Right, I’m answering your questions on love & dating today. I’m moderately distracted because there is MADNESS going on around me. Lol.

I keep lifting my phone in the air and pouting to film by answers for you. People keep looking at me, like i’m strange.

I’ll give’em that.

HOWEVER, I do actually think that THESE DAYS, it is PERFECTLY acceptable to selfie take or film for your instagram in public. You’re almost behind the times, if you don’t believe that and frown upon those who do?

Anyway…

Head to my Insta Story and ask me a question on love, dating and relationships. ( @chrissiewunna.)

Thank you for following my life,

Chrissie x

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Zanetti’s Halloween…

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Halloween was just amazing. It was a wild piece of escapism, that every piece of ‘chica’ needs. The host I chose was Tom Zanetti…and as always, he did his city proud. He’s like the ‘Diddy’ of Leeds, who’s slowly, but surely taking over ALL cities & it’s great to see him going from strength, to strength. His ‘hustle’ has been grand and he absolutely deserves all the wonderful things that are happening to him right now. He works hard, he loves hard and he’s ambitious. But his heart is always in the right place.

Me: ‘Hi! It’s me. Can I come in? ;)’

Amy: ‘It’s Chrissie. It’s fine. All the way up!’

(Amy’s hot! She’s Zanetti’s PA. I told you on the last blog. I love her. She’s sassy!)

Right, so I was up in VIP, at Aspire, Leeds… which is an old untouched bank, that has been refurbished for events.

I was kinda already merry by this point, as I walked up the stairs and through the VIP entrance. I passed security, through all the calm and squinted through the bright lighting.

I was greeted at the entrance and then as I stepped forward, I  entered a world of darkness, mood lighting and sophisticated madness.

It was beautiful.

So, I like to get to parties earlier, rather than later, these days? I don’t know why? But after the life I lived in LA and the age I am now, I kinda just like to *tinkle* up for a couple hours, have fun and disappear back home or to my hotel, before all the UTTER MADNESS begins.

If i’m not there when the madness is occurring, I won’t get into trouble. 😉 

I’m not a stay out until 3am kinda kitten, anymore. There’s bed sheets to snuggle in or soil (lol) by then. I like my beauty sleep. I’m wild, but sensible, all at the same time…and if i’m being honest, I kinda like it that way.

I also love a guy, who loves to go out and have a bit of fun, (i’m naturally social,) but then go home for a bit of ‘grown up’ sexy time.

Or as we used to call it in LA, a ‘throw down.’ 😉

Wine was poured, guys we’re masked and *winking* from their tables, slutty clowns, saxophone players, haunted swimsuit models, illusionists, magicians, reality tv stars, sportsmen and all sorts filled the VIP area.

The VIP was ‘Heaven’ high, on a Mezzanine and looked over the crowd, as they filtered in and celebrated their version of Halloween.

There was a sexy calmness to the VIP and an utter hellish madness that went on down below. Hell was filled with a young crowd that had surrendered to a ‘good time’ in the name of Zanetti.

It was perfect…

..and the awesome thing about a ‘Zanetti‘ party is that all freedom occurs. However like the ‘Vegas Code,‘ it stays as a ‘sexy whisper.‘ You’re protected by life, in the name of ‘good times.’

There’s a sophisticated, high end, ‘gangsta’ vibe.

I remember everything being so full, so fast and a delicious tipsy *blur.* I was filled with wine and a girl, who was dressed as a sexy clown girl, kept giving me her card, and talking to me about life…She was wonderful and I adored her. She talked to me ‘drenched in fun’ madly. Then she told me her name was ‘Emerald.’

Me: ‘Is that your real name or a stage name..’

Emerald: ‘No, it’s my actual real name.’

Me: ‘I love that. It’s sexy.’ 

She was with a sexy ‘Catwoman,‘ and I couldn’t think of better company really. Lol. If you’re gonna go anywhere, take a sexy Catwoman with you.

Anyway…

I sauntered off to my own version of life and watch my surroundings.

Everyone was messaging me. My inbox was jammed. I even snapchatted with ‘T Bone,’ in New Zealand, and that made me smile, because…. Well…because….

Then as I stood over the balcony, filming Insta videos of myself, I looked to my left and saw Tom, with Hayley.

They’d just arrived…It was still early on in the night. 

Tom: ‘Hi…

(He was in VIP watching the crowd filter in.) 

Me: ‘Hiya…’

So I walked over to say ‘Hello’ properly and take appropriate selfies. Lol.

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Image may contain: 2 people, people smiling, closeup and indoor

Tom was quite the gentleman. He looked smart. He looked very GQ and dapper. Hayley was as sweet as pie. She beamed, with the cutest smile and was so lovely to me. She is literally BEAUTIFUL & together they were stunning.

You’d think they’re stunning anyway, right? But UNTIL, you meet them both together , even when they’re ‘on show, ‘ it’s only then when you realize just how magnetic they are.

I loved them.

The main thing that got me, was just how smitten they were. They were each other’s world and radiated an absolute genuine ‘soul mate’ love for one another. It was kinda like they were destined to take on life together.

I love that in couples. 

They’re both fun by nature. Yet, they looked young and innocent, yet sexy. There’s real depth to their relationship. 

The were definitely destined to meet and i’m sure he treats her like a Queen….which I adore. 

Anyway..

They left to quickly fit in ‘date night’ drinks at Tattu, before the party got going and when they got backed, they were drunk, happy, in love and wild.

Zanetti, does the Paris Hilton thing, where you show up early and make sure all is running smoothly, before coming back and making a real entrance, once everything kicks off.

Paris: ‘Always arrive at a party when it starts getting wild and leave before everyone else does.’

Bottom line, I couldn’t even see by the end of the night. I was sauntering around, drunk, tired, but glorious.

I walked back to my hotel early and got back in by midnight.

IT WAS FREEZING.

I definitely stripped down naked, but left all my Devil make up on…Haha…then sent a naughty video. 😉

I certainly woke up worst for wear….with a meeting that I had to get ready for at noon and a hang over.

That’s life.

I had the best time ever…

Happy Halloween

 

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That Moment Before Halloween Did Me Over ;)

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What a night! What a time! I’m talking about Saturday. It’s now Tuesday, and i’ve only just pulled myself together. If there was living and then there was L.I.V.I.N.G…this Halloween…I smashed it.

Right! Let’s go…

I have been the busiest kitten in all of the glitzy land and it’s not as easy on the old body, as it was when I was 20 something in Hollywood. That’s the truth. Yet, I’m so lucky. I’m enjoying it thoroughly and something tells me that I’m much BETTER at being a 30 something, than any other decade. It kinda suits me well, because i’m tougher now. I was even tough then. I was a confident , yet wild 20 something, moulded by LA life, as I tinkered a career in entertainment. I went through an awful lot. It hasn’t been easy.

That was the first time around…Things happened after that!

This time around I’m NOT 21, i’m 37. I’m wiser, I’ve learnt and things are always better, the second time around.

You take a better shot, because your soul is filled with the correct ingredients. Your life experience radiates and powers over and people open doors for you, with more respect and utter grace. I don’t just mean this in work, but also when it comes to love. Your second shot, is always much stronger, because you’re adjusted yourself and you know what you’re dealing with.

MMmmkay…

(I actually told a guy called ‘Nathan’ that things were better the second time around, as I ate a spinach and pear salad, whilst hungover at Gino’s, in Leeds. My favourite salad ever. I love salads with pears in. I love that I can walk into Gino’s and be treated with absolute love by the staff. I love that I can simply state that i’m so hungover and without me uttering another word, they baby me and know exactly what I need…Lol) 


Anyway. I don’t know how old, ‘Nathan’ was, but I reckon around fifty? He’d run a massive business, that set him in the high money stakes. Then he *ballsed* it all up, by going wild, leaving his wife and spending all this money, before almost going bankrupt.

Yipppeee!

He randomly told me that this was his second time around. (I don’t even know him at all?) But I assured him, that if he concentrated, and wanted it more than anything, y’know, did everything the right way….he would smash it.

Me: ‘It’ll be even bigger the next time around…’

It’s how life works. It’s not about what happens, it’s about the kinda human you are and how you handle that ‘what.’

Okay….

Things are changing for me and it’s a really wonderful feeling. I’m steady away and i’m doing okay. I’m not in a race for success. I love my present and i’m enjoying my time. I’ve got a long way to go. But I don’t look over my shoulder to see what or how everyone else is doing? I just stay focused on my own world, my own version of life and i’ll ‘hit’ my goals, when i’m meant to… Y’know, when life cuts me some slack. 😉

It’s important to refrain from comparing your current chapter to someone’s else’s chapter.

Anything can happen at any time! I’ve watched it and lived it.

Mum: ‘Career first, Chrissie. You can have anything or anyone you want, afterward. Don’t get distracted. I believe in you.’

I’d sailed off a very busy week of meetings, work and bustle. I was exhausted. I hadn’t been sleeping much. My mind wouldn’t let me. Last week, I met so many people. In fact that week, I did so SO much, that it kinda all feels like a blur.

I was still excited for the weekend though!

I woke up and the babies, ‘Ruby & Junior’ jumped on me in bed, with laughter and cuddles. They were bursting with joy! We made OUR Saturday morning, all about Ackworth Garden Centre, because they wanted to go fancy dress Pumpkin Carving, with Peppa Pig. and Mummy.

It was wonderful. It was wonderful because I TREASURE family time. I’m a real family girl, even though I have an independent soul. The moment I saw their faces light up with excitement, my heart was sold. I’m a softy. I love making people happy. It fills me with glee. I’m so proud of them. I’m so proud of how well they’re doing.

They’re literally my world.

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We giggled. We carved. We did Halloween. It’s times like that, when I love being a single mum. When there’s just us…doing life, because no idiots can distract us. Our bond is too strong. We’re so close. Nothing else matters when we’re together as a team.

BLISS….

But oh my gosh, I am so properly SHIT at carving pumpkins, because IN LIFE,  i’m not good at the niggly tasks, the little tedious bits, that you’d usually hire someone to do or have a husband for. Lol. I know that sounded LAME. But I am. I don’t have the patience for the niggly bits. Haha. Yet, on THAT day, I don’t know what happened to me? I did! I got on with it, because I was motivated by love. (It’s the key to success… 😉 )

Jenna: ‘Look at Wunna…’

Me: ‘I can’t do this sober. It’s like wrapping presents on Christmas Eve, you need to be tipsy.’

Let’s say, it was an achievement.

Anyway,

We had the most amazing family time…and that’s what I love about my life right now. It’s feels pretty balanced.

I actually feel like a really decent human and it’s so hard on me at times, when people (as in guys,) forget to see how lovely the ‘whole picture’ is and not just how great I might be in the ‘sack.’ I’d really appreciate a man, who appreciated me for the ‘whole picture,’ they don’t come around that often in my world…and i’m not saying that I don’t get attention. We all know I do.

But, every single time I look at a guy, after he makes his move and smoozes on in, I always think that he’s ONLY after one thing…and potentially nothing else…because that’s what always happens to me. I don’t think many guys have proved  to me, that I’m more than JUST THAT.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m a grown up girl. I love sex. I’m single. I’m okay. I’m happy. I do hope to find my one. I say that all the time. Yet, I don’t want to comprise my heart, or sell myself short . So being sexy and naughty and flirting is great! It’s part of being a grown up and certainly part of being a single 30 something. It’s hot and i’m sensual by nature.

I love it.

It’s sexy and I love a bit of ‘filth.’ Yet, if nothing more develops from it, other than ‘nookie’…and because i’m a girl, I kinda just think that it was ALL, a waste of my time?

Men don’t like to tell me or show me that I could be more to them than that….

I never know why?

Anyway, back to the story….

Where were we…Oh Yeah…PUMPKINS*Deep Breath*

I will tell you that, the last time I carved a pumpkin, was over a decade ago. It’s not my forte. It never has been. The last time it happened,  was out of force.

I was pissed, in West Hollywood, doing Tequila shots, dressed as a Playboy bunny, by a dining table. What I learnt is that, you should never ever carve pumpkins, stone cold sober, if you are a glamour puss. (And when I say ‘Glamour Puss’, I don’t mean a chick, who just wears too much lippy. It’s more of a manner than a look, to me.)  Do remember to  ALWAYS add tequila. Pumpkin carving is harder than you think…until you put ya back into it.

I actually loved every minute. It made my babies smile. They just looked up at me, and wee’d themselves laughing, whilst shaking their heads, as I struggled in my ‘Little Mistress’ faux fur…

Ruby: ‘Look at Mum trying to cut out pumpkin eyes. She needs a wine. Haha…..’

Then we walked over to ‘Ego,’ (I’m actually blogging from ‘Ego’ now with a wine,) for pasta, salmon dill fishcakes and mocktails, before I grabbed all my stuff, tried on my Ann Summers Devil’s outfit, sipped a quick ‘get ready’ vino, kissed the babies ‘good bye.’

I then *blinked* and found myself on the train to Leeds City Centre.

I checked into Park Plaza…

I love checking into Park Plaza, simply because it’s easy, styish, comfy and SO WELL LOCATED. Nothing’s a bother. Plus, you can’t really beat being *slap bang* in the middle of the city centre. It’s a ‘dolly’ strut distance from EVERYTHING. It’s in the most perfect spot. I’ve stayed there a lot. I always try to stay there when I need to

I don’t know whether it’s just me? But I LOVE that moment when you check into a hotel, get through all the pleasantries..

Reception: ‘Good Afternoon, Miss Wunna….You’re on the 14th floor..’

Man at bar: ‘Hi, how are you? You’re stunning. Where are you going tonight?’

… and then you finally *whoosh* yourself up to the 14th floor, slide in, shut the door, turn on the lights, turn on the tunes and BOOM! BLISS! You’re there! You’re done….You chill and sip your wine, in peace. (But then Insta Story, the hell out of it all. Haha.)

Within moments of hair doing, face doing and wine sipping… I was here…

I felt so alive. I felt so fun. I usually hate Halloween. But this year I was excited. I don’t know why I was excited? It’s something that I don’t bother celebrating often.  I was just in a really good mood. So after a couple facetime calls, I was out!

(Well technically, I had to go find Aaron &Stephen the Paps, because they couldn’t find parking and didn’t know exactly where they were, for the Zanetti bash.)

Steve: ‘The Sat Nav, says it’s literally just around the corner…’

Aaron: ‘We’re parked outside this building…It says GVA on it?’

(Sends me a picture.)

So, being me, I walked up to find them…within the city streets of Leeds, at night…dressed in my slutty devils outfits…in stockings & horns. Haha.

Dude: ‘Are you not scared?’

Me: ‘No. I’ve lived. I’m not scared of a 2 minute walk, dressed like this. I’m more concerned that i’m COLD. I hate the cold. Lol’

I don’t think i’ve ever got hit on as much in my life!!??!

And the sad thing was, I was strutting through the streets, with my head held high, like I didn’t even know I was dressed like a slutty devil. I was like Beyonce….but shitter.

The funny thing was that, when I got into the lift on the 14th floor, it stopped at the 10th.  The doors open and a poor handsome guy, who was waiting to jump in, must have got the shock of his flipping life.

Imagine your lift doors opening and I’M THERE, laughing, dressed as Devil, with all my boobs pouring out and with a sequinned pokey stick, tapping against my thigh!

Hahahah.

Guy: ‘I can’t tell whether this is real or a prank? Lol’

Me: ‘I’m so sorry. Haha. Don’t feel awkward. It’s real.’

Guy: ‘No. No. I don’t feel awkward. You look beautiful! Where we going? Hell?’

Me: ‘Yeah…Probably…Haha..’

Guy: ‘Honestly….Where you off?’

Me: ‘Just some party. I’m actually going to find my friends..’

Guy: ‘What you doing afterward?’

Me: ‘I’m going to sleep…’

(This was our convo from the 10th floor to reception, in our lift.)

Anyway, I managed to find ‘The Boys,’ Aaron & Steve, snuggled warm in their Audi, on King Street. (A life of a pap is certainly rewarding, but must so hard. It was a freezing cold night and to think that they had travelled from city to city, having to wrap up warm like lil’ snuggly bears, to take pictures of celebs, whilst being stood outside in the cold for hours… is not easy.)

But they do it and they don’t even moan. Plus, it must be shit having me sat in the back of your car, poking you with a Devil’s stick, and moaning because I want booze.

They got ready to shoot, I stepped into a bar named ‘Box,’ just on the corner. I’ve never been there before, but fire eaters where outside and I knew that Tattu & Blackhouse wouldn’t let me in in Fancy Dress…so I headed in and it was fun.

It was actually filled with loads of people who were headed to Zanetti’s Halloween party…I ordered a wine, talked to a clown, Catwoman told me she thought I was ‘stunning’ then this business man, from down south, hit on me…and tried to make me stay with him for the night…

Me: ‘I’m going next door now..’

Guy: ‘What time are you done? Can I not give you my number. Call me afterward…’

Me: ‘I’ve godda go…’

I show up at Aspire, which is where the ‘Zanetti/Sleepin is Cheatin’ night was being held.  I check in with the boys…who were waiting outside, freezing cold, but camera ready…

Security are lovely to me, Amy (Zanetti’s PA) showed me straight in, a wrist band was strapped on me and I was guided upstairs to the VIP.

Then the night began….

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Halloween, Mystical Nights & Pink Eye?

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Morning, my delicious Tricka Boos. So much is a going on, I feel like i’m ‘jiving’ along, at the speed of light, and whizzing past minutes, hours and days, on a tank that may read ‘empty.’ I’m having a blast. But i’ve got a lot of niggly bits on my mind and when you have ‘niggly bits’, you don’t really sleep to well, or rest too peacefully, do you?

Instead, you kinda ‘niggle,’ and that is my problem.

I’ve been up since 4am. Got home early, yet didn’t sleep until late.

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Last night was magical, I celebrated the Burmese Lighting Festival, with Buddhist monks, in darkness, surrounded by only candlelit tea lights, fairy lights and draping oriental lanterns. It was beautiful and I had never felt more at peace…even in the cold and I hate the cold. Two hours before that, I was picking out the Wunna Land Christmas Tree theme, with Flamingo baubles in my hands.

My life is just NUTS.

If you know me personally, you’ll know that one of my favourite things is candlelight, and dancing flames. There’s a sexy energy that I feel, when i’m swirling by fire. But I’m a Sagittarius girl, which makes me a fire sign anyway. I guess that completely confirms, WHY I feel so at ease and comfortable around a naked flame.

It’s just the kinda stars I was born under, Boo. 😉

I was definitely tragic, because I did try to get a selfie with one of the monks, but I daren’t ask him, so I had to sly one off. Haha. He would’ve actually done it. He was doing the with people. But fear got the better of me. Haha. I bottled it and hid by a fairy lit tree. I opted for doing that thing where you pretend you’re taking a selfie of YOURSELF, when you secretly have THEM, in the background. Haha. I’m such a loser.

Yippppeeeee!

I am REALLY BUSY right now and the kids are also on Half Term, which makes everything that little bit more ‘juicy.’ This is where being a single mum is SO HARD. It’s like trying to hold up your gin, in a rubber dingy, in a giant storm, whilst your lost at sea.

I’ve lunched I’ve dined, I’ve spun in playgrounds. I’ve cocktailed, I’ve influenced, i’ve worked, i’ve shot, I’ve been Mum, i’ve travelled, I’ve hit deadlines and schedules, I’ve loved, I’ve shopped, I’ve laughed, I’ve played. I’ve picked out THEIR Halloween bits and pieces and we’re all still in one piece.

I don’t even know how?

God! I love them madly.. (Ruby has a party later today. Luckily one of the other mums, Sam… is going to take her there, which helps me out threefold.)

Thank YOU!!!!

I’ve answered your questions on my Insta story,(they’re getting juicer and juicer.) Everyone keeps rubbing in the fact that i’m ‘single’ by asking me if I am 40 times a day. Lol.

I’m a happy singleton. I want to fall in love and get married one day, to my perfect man. Until that time, I’m not worried, he’ll find me. 

I’ve also been called a ‘tramp’ and ‘should work for the Prime Minister’ in one whole day. I’ve rushed around, i’ve tried to keep you all in the loop, on my socials, I’ve not eaten enough, I’ve not rested enough, but on the whole, i’m happy.

I can’t really complain!

I mean JEEZE. I got blessed by Burmese Monks last night. J

In case you’re wondering, I’m not religious by any means, not even a little bit, at all. BUT  i’m a really spiritual chica. I love to get lost in the magic of enlightenment. I find it enthralling and mysterious. If I get to light candles to celebrate full moons, in dark mystic gardens, to bring light to the world with Buddhist monks…why not? I mean, in two days, i’m off to Tom Zanetti’s Masquerade Ball,  in Leeds, for Halloween…which probably couldn’t be more opposite. Lol.

I’m gonna NEED to be blessed, before I walk into that shindig.

I swear there’s only sinning allowed.

But again, it’ll be fun. I always support Thomas madly, because you’ve got to have ‘Team Yorkshires’ back always.  In my eyes, he hasn’t done badly at all, has he? I read a lot of people hating on him on Twitter last night…and I didn’t really find it fair. But the more successful you become, the more people have something to say. Be it good or bad? That’s why I always say, that the NUMBER ONE THING you need, in any form of career in entertainment, is a really strong mindset.

It’s tough.

Yet, if you’re emotionally comfortable and have the heart of a lion, you’re waaay ahead of the game.

I’m always really tough when it comes to ‘the haters,’ because I feel so confident and happy right now. It doesn’t get to me, at all now? It’s almost as if, nothing can break my ‘happy place’ and whatever they say, just dissolves away.  I’m 37. I’m grown. I grew up in Hollywood, where things are hard on you emotionally, every single SECOND of every day. It schooled me well. A little ’Keyboard Warrior’ here and there from…(put in any place you fancy,) isn’t gonna melt my soul or trip my strut.

However, that doesn’t make it right, so this morning, I sent an important DM to someone, to see what I could do, to help them stop all cyber bullying.

I wonder if they’ll reply?

Okay…Away from that…

I don’t have an outfit for the Masquerade Halloween ball yet? I don’t know what to go as? I don’t know where to look? I need to be in it, by Saturday at 8pm, on a red carpet for quick pictures, (literally seconds,) before the evil booze up.

UGH!

I organise everyone else perfectly, but when it comes to myself, I leave myself ‘last place.’ Lol

I feel like I have no time to organise it, but i’m gonna have to try and keep ‘my frillies’ crossed.

I don’t have time to get fitted into anything..So i’m gonna do what I do best, which is just ‘wing it’ with a wink. (I currently have conjunctivitis, which everyone keeps mistaking for ‘pink eye.’ My wink is actually sore. Haha.)  

Yipppeeee!

Lord help me…

I love you, always.

Thank you for following my life.

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Glitter Storms, Love & Haters…

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So much has happened over the last few days. I don’t even know where to begin? *Jeeze.* I’ve actually started to write a blog every single day, yet abandoned it half way through, knowing that I wouldn’t ever post it? *No clue why?*  Then I’d pour a wine, ponder and just get on with my life.

Life is wonderful right now. I’m feeling pretty blessed.

This lil’ kitten has come a long way…

I’ve been enjoying family time, with Ruby, Junior & the rest of The Wunna’s, away from any drama. I need time with the people that love me and know me, better than anyone else in the world. It’s my ‘safe’ place, where life feels cosy. I’ve loved bumping into you all though and I’ve loved meeting and greeting you. I’ve met some ‘Wunna Ful’ characters.

But as always, drama found me.

Hideeho!

Yipppeeee! Hurrah! Drinks for everyone! Glue sequins on ya *ta taas* and shimmie hell for leather.

(Just so you know, i’m currently blogging from the ‘Ego Mediterranean, Beverly Arms’ restaurant in Ackworth. Again…another ‘safe place’ that I love. The staff are wonderful to me here.)

Okay…

Things in Wunna Land are a changing. I can feel it. I’m chilling but excited?

There’s a swirl of magic meandering through my land. It’s a FEEeeeEEEELING. It’s sexy. Yet it’s both confident and cautious at the same time. It’s flirtatious and filled with ambition. But it’s loving. It’s fun. It almost as if this meandering swirl is prepping me for ‘things to come.’ It’s light, but it’s dark and if I could describe it as anything, it would mirror the ‘tick tick, tock’ before you hear the big…

‘BOOM.’

It’s a good *boom,* though. I’m in a really good place. I’m happy. I’m 10 percent nervous.. for no reason, because life has made me that way. But, on the whole. I’m happy! I’m 90 percent all good.

Flashback: 

I once sold myself to a guy LA, with the line,

‘I’m awful and insensitive. I’m 98 percent bad.’

He replied with…

‘That’s 2 percent good to me. 😉 ‘ 

Right now, I’m feeling pretty confident and confidentially pretty.

It’s weird because a lot is going on. A LOT. It’s very busy and i’m feeling all sorts. In all areas of my life..A LOT…is a happening…. and i’m enjoying it, while I can, away from the madness. Y’know, before there’s a Wunna Land glitter storm. 😉

There will be a Wunna Land glitter storm…

(Well, i’ve worked so hard for one…So we’ll see. Lol) 

I will say that, I’m expressive by nature, so I do feel a little suppressed. It’s not a fun feeling for me. But i’m lucky. You will always here me say, that i’m one of the luckiest girls in the world.

There’s a ton of things that I can’t talk about just yet, which I always find really hard. I’m not one to favour the ‘bottle it up,’ or ‘keep it a secret’ kinda tip toe. But, obviously…I do it anyway, because I have to.

I don’t enjoy it though.

It gives me a rash and jittery anxiety…and there isn’t a cocktail that goes well with either. Lol.

The good thing is that i’m feeling inspired again….Once you lose your inspiration you’re jiggered. Well, I am anyway. I always need to feel it. I find it sexy, as I do thoughtfulness.

I always pick work, and men, who inspire me. It’s literally my favourite feeling, in the world.

I guess, that’s why I always hope to ALSO inspire. If I do nothing else, from this point on….I know that there’s people around the world, (and i’ve found myself in some rather sticky situations, crossing Mexican borders, at The Playboy Mansion, in horror sex dungeons, on shoots, in giant jail cells in LA, on sets filming tv shows, homeless in New York, on red carpets…all sorts. Lol. )  I know that there’s people i’ve touched (lol, that sounds rude,)…People who i’ve meant something to, made better, or ignited some kind of thought or feeling of ‘happy,’ ambition, passion or ‘love.’

That makes all this worth it.

I took a couple days off to to ‘not concentrate,’ to sack some part of my work off, to rebel, get a little lost. Embrace the naughty part of me. I do that BRIEFLY because when I do, i’ve learnt that it helps me appreciate THIS part, the part where i’m at now!

THE FOCUS.

It’s given me drive, it’s filled me with excitement and reined me back in, y’know to CONCENTRATE on what i’m MEANT to be doing. I’m a ‘good time’ gal. I’m easily distracted by a fun looking ‘beckon’ and beckons come from every corner, in my world.  New ‘beckons,’ old ‘beckons,’ big ‘beckons,’ small ‘beckons.’ ‘Beckons’ you didn’t even know existed. I have a great friendship with fun. But it always wins, every time.

It’s my kids and my Mother, that keep me grounded. If i stuck to my own rules of discipline, i’d go delightfully bonkers. 🙂

But yeah…

I’m loving all my questions, that you’re sending me on my Insta Story. They’re fun. I have scroll down pages and pages FULL of them, so I can’t get through them all,at once. But I try to do as many as I can…at random.

I love it.

I’m noticing a lot of focus on my love life, my sex life, my ‘tell us what is going on’ life? Lol. My merry little ‘MOJO’ seems to be on FIRE. I have no clue why and I never really have had any clue why, at all? Yet, I guess my ‘milka shaka’ is bringing ALL the Boys, their Brothers, their Son’s, Uncle’s, Father’s and next door neighbours pet hamsters, to my yard. Lol.

What can I say? It’s a hard old life! Haha.

(But I did receive a question from a chick, who thought I was so lucky, because she couldn’t get a guy to message her back, let alone catapult himself at her.)

And like I always say, I’m very very flattered (and for once there’s some really good choices, lol,) yet please do realise that all these guys, are thinking with their willies and not with their hearts. It’s the one that gives me BOTH, that i’m gonna go for. The one that actually, truly loves me. The one who ends up being my best friend. My life partner.

Everyone has this giant misconception that I can Wunna *Wink* and have any guy I want.

NOT TRUE AT ALL. I DON’T KNOW WHY PEOPLE THINK THAT?

Just like every girl in the world..I have cried into my wine, millions of times over guys. It’s what we do. J I’ve been pretty good at it, over the years.

But if you know me personally (and that’s why I love doing my insta question because it lets you get to know me personally,)  you’ll know i’m shit at choices, and when there’s too many, I run, hide and bury my head into the sand, until Mr.Right calmly beckons me out, with a warm heart, smile and wine.

I’m a hopeless romantic, with a naughty twist. Dudes, must like that? I should write a book on it..

OH SHIT! I AM! 😉

Away from that, a lot f people messaged me regarding some boring ‘girl drama’ that I had over the weekend. The reason why I haven’t chatted about it in depth, is simply because I thought it was so pointless and the chick involved wasn’t and isn’t not worth the air time. But I don’t want another message about it…So…listen up..

I went on my Facebook profile, went down the my birthday list and wished every single person on that list, ‘Happy Birthday.’

(I know, how insane of me. *Rolls Eyes.*)

Three of those people on that list, I actually knew personally. The rest were fans.

The girlfriend of one of the guys, I sent Birthday  love to,  was lovely…and sent me kisses.

A different girl, who I dates one of the OTHER guys I sent ‘Happy Birthday’ to….WENT MENTAL. (Yeah..I know.)

She went  MENTAL because I had a friend ‘Happy Birthday’ on his Birthday, because she is so incredibly terrified that he might secretly want me. She doesn’t know me personally at all. She knows OF me. He doesn’t even know me that well…Yet all my friends and I have chatted to him loads of times at the pub. Nothing major. Nothing too interesting. Just banter.

For some reason, I make this woman feel uncomfortable. My existence unlevels her security. But it’s all in her head though and that’s what bothers me. ( I mean let’s be realistic here. I don’t need to chase HER man, nor do I wish to. It’s almost like a joke! What is her problem? Honestly, if you placed our lives up against each other, they couldn’t be more different. Thankfully, WE couldn’t be more different. You’d laugh. )

Regardless, she goes out of her way to be horrible to me. She makes general rubbish up about me. She apologises to me…and then goes mental again. I don’t think it’s okay for girls to blame their own insecurities on other girls, who they don’t even know personally. It’s makes you less beautiful.

I don’t think it’s okay to hate on someone, name call, bully, or violently threaten a girl. I’ve just joined the ‘Blend out Bullying’ Campaign, in Glamour Magazine. I think it gives ladies a bad name in general. Especially, during a time of girl empowerment. I think it’s messy. I think it sets a bad example. I also think it’s disgraceful that a grown up woman, and her friends (lol) feel the need to send me almost ’17 year old girl’ like, threats, ending in ‘slag/tramp…’ blah, blah, blah.

So I guess, I wanted to tell the story, just in case any of you find yourself in such a position. (I mean things like this never bother me, I’ve grown a thick skin over the years. I’m used to it.) However, if you’re NOT, do know that all THEY’RE DOING is showing THEIR OWN WEAKNESS. No *noisy* reaction, leaves bullies powerless. It kind of makes them irrelevant. It ‘blends them out.’

And the thing is, they could’ve messaged and slagged me off ALL NIGHT. All it would’ve done, is motivate me to do EVEN BETTER, than I already am.

Success is the sweetest revenge. Use your energy wisely.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Danger Walks In Glitter Heels…

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This time yesterday morning I found myself driving to meet someone, that I technically shouldn’t have been meeting, but sometimes life, just guides you down a path, where possible flames, fire & fun, are there for the taking.

Good times, this way!

These days, when it comes to life, i’m a ‘play it safe,‘ but MY WAY, kinda gal. I’m concentrating on work and family. But as we know, my version of safe is never EVER ‘Vanilla.’ Like ‘The Gent’ that I went on the Manchester Airport date with, a month ago…had said….

‘You’re a dangerous girl. Guys love a dangerous girl.’

I guess, the glint in my little Asian eyes, will always give that away.

The real truth is, that I’m not very ‘dangerous’ at all. I’m actually just a bit foolish. Haha. I’m made up of so many ‘bits & pieces,’ that it would take a real genius, or the most patient male in the Universe, to actually begin to KNOW, how to figure me out.

(I met a guy whilst waiting at the bar yesterday, who was Autistic. He made me beam, because he was so smart, so quick and I could see his mind working, as it turned. He told me I was ‘beautiful‘ and I appreciated the love, because it was so real, raw and delivered with a bold quirkiness.)

Anyway, back to the story….

I’d been up working since five o clock in the morning. I did a shoot, around six o clock. A school run occurred in between. Yet, by 10am, my shoot was done.

I got in my car and I drove to meet a friend.

Best morning ever really. So much fun. I guess life just fancied a *TWIST* and that’s how I found myself sat there, smiling. A ‘Twist’ is good, because you always learn something from it. And through MY life…I’ve learnt A LOT. I see a ‘twist’ coming for me, before it even begins to tighten.

Some call it SKILLZ. 😉

I’ve known this person a while, but I’ve never got to hang out with them really. So it was great to just chatter, in a corner…away from drama, or stress. I need those moments. I’m needing them more and more.

It’s weird because it’s like my little Wunna boat has caught a decent wind now and gosh, we’re beginning to sail…

GLITTER SHOWERS EVERYWHERE.

‘I can’t stop looking at you.’

‘Aww! So sweet! Haha. What are you even looking at?’

‘You should probably do that top button up.’

‘I like it undone.’ 

‘Ah! You wore a skirt.’ 

‘Yeah. It’s warmer than I thought today, so I figured i’d give you that! Haha.’

‘You look ******* stunning…’

‘I look scrubbly. I’ve been on a shoot all morning.’ 

Banter, wine and chitter chatter. Sometimes, that’s all you need. It keeps your sane. It’s keeps you fresh. It keeps you excited about life, doesn’t it? And when you’re excited, you feel like you can conquer the world, in a day!

Sometimes, you can. Sometimes, you can’t. All that matters is how you FEEEEL.

(I’m finding it so hard to write this blog right now, because I’m in the warmest room ever, with a Mulled Wine headache. I guzzled mulled wine, like I was a bouji pirate last night, at Ackworth Garden Centre, by baubles. It was their Big Christmas reveal, yesterday evening. I had the most beautiful time. It was literally magical. Christmas is my favourite time of year. I’m a December born baby, incase you didn’t know.)

Anyway, he was sweet, humble and sexy. It was good to just sit and chatter, without a care in the world. Plus, he’s going to be working alongside Wunna Land soon, so it’s good for him to get to know me better, without any ‘censors.’ 🙂

‘It’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be hard. But i’ll do it.’

He kept starting a sentence, pausing…not saying anything at all, as his mind looked like it was racing….and then finishing his sentence, with a simple ‘yeah.’

‘You didn’t say anything…’

‘I do that a lot..’

Haha. And you lot think i’m crackers!!

Then as the clock struck 1pm, he walked me to my car and we just got on with our own little versions of life…

If I could describe the walk,i’d say it was..

DANGEROUS.

It was a ‘Danger Walk.’ 

(But I least I did it in gold glitter kitten heels.) 

The rest of the time I spent with Ruby and Junior, before we headed to Ackworth Garden Centre, to shimmie in Christmas. The kids love it there. They’ve literally grown up, in that Garden Centre. Lol. But last night was beautiful. It was filled with happiness. It was filled with famillies, close friends and great memories.

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I love family. It’s so important to me. Ruby & Junior are so important to me. We’re this little threesome and we’ve been through such a tough time and there are moments, like with all families, where in which, we still do.

Yet 90 percent of the time, we’re WONDERFUL!

I have much more balance right now and hopefully (with everything crossed) something tells me, that we have the most magical future ahead of us.

I’m just leaving life to fate…and well…writing my diary as I go along.

ps/ I don’t think being 37 and Single is gonna be too difficult after all.? Haha. Right now, guys seem to be offering themselves over to Wunna Land, with a hop, skip and a…willy.(I’m keeping myself out of trouble though.) 

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Blogs, Boys & Heels…

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Gosh! Morning, my lil’ Twinkles! My delicious tickles of fancy. I have been SO UTTERLY *RUSHED* off my little kitten feet. It’s been mad. I’ve been busy. Yet in a way, I’m delighted, because I really do hope to one day ‘blink’ and see that ALL of my dreams have come true…and if that takes ‘busy,’ if that takes hard work,‘ than to me, I’m there. I’d rather do it, than ponder it..

TBone: ‘ It’s not what someone says, it’s always what they do…’

Especially when i’m in a productive frame of mind. Y’know, before cocktails get the better of me. Haha.

I reckon, if you can still commit to productivity, in a really great heels, you’ll smash life! 

(Oh! Wait! I thought I said that I was always gonna wear ‘flats’ now, after running for my life and falling over 40 times at Scare Kingdom?)

Nevermind. Ghosts & Kidnappers would just set me free anyway, because I’d definitely do their head in. My choice of footwear wouldn’t be an issue.

Kidnapper: ‘God! Let her OUT. Switch her for a better victim. Ooh. Shes wearing glitter heeled pumps from the ****** collection.’

I was talking to ‘Celeb Ghost Hunt’ Ash, the other day…He wants me to go on an investigation with him. I must be a sucker for terror. I hate being frightened. Haha.

Anyway, back to non frightening stuff…

I’ve travelled all over. I’ve been on shoots, auditions, i’ve been good, i’ve been bad, I’ve been influencing a jolly load, ready for the festive season. (Which is a REALLY BUSY time for everyone.) I’m also doing the single mum thing also, aren’t I? (I adore every INCH of the bambinos. Junior’s a delight. Ruby’s got her first set of glasses.) I wouldn’t have it any other way. They’re my world. I’m raising a Glamour puss and a Hero. Last night they both *shocked* themselves up, ran out of their rooms and got into my bed, because we all got lonely and afraid of the dark. Lol

Nobody likes to sleep alone. The only time i’m okay with it, is when i’m drunk and just need to pass out…still with my face on. (Which I don’t really recommend as a graceful little pastime. It only makes you feel worse in the morning,)

On the whole, I’m really happy, right now and when i’m this busy and this happy, it seems that I forget about my ever so rubbish love life.

I’m still 37. I’m still single. It ain’t that bad.

I’m happy a singleton. But after everything i’ve been through. The ups, the downs & the ‘mess me arounds’, i’m still not cautious.  (I still wear my heart on my sleeve.) I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing? I very much trust people with my heart.  EVEN NOW I  still trust that they’re going to take care of it…..because firstly I see the beauty in everyone and secondly…because i’m probably foolish. Haha.

I never know if they see me as their ‘bitch,’ their ‘bed notch,‘ or their ‘baby for life? Haha..Sounds like a Fairytale. If I can’t decide, i’ll just sit back and leave it to them, to come forward and show me what category, I fall into.

If they don’t come forward then they’re weren’t for me. (I’ll just see it all as, ‘they weren’t that interested.’) I like a forward man. A brave one.

You know why? Probably because i’m not used to guys being romantically forward me with…It’s almost like they’re terrified to be? And I have no clue why? Whatsoever? I don’t get it? You’ll see a lot of guys openly comment on my pics etc, via my ‘socials.’ Yet, the majority of them don’t..and instead shoot in a sneaky DM. (That sounds naughty! Haha.) 

I literally get one almost every 2 minutes. 

However, in real life….If a guy actually fancies me…they’re usually forward to begin with and then stop being so forward…..It’s like they want ME to chase them?

When you’re a 30 something woman, nothing is worse than having to chase a guy for attention. I’ve done it lots, much to my own embarrassment. But I don’t do it, now. EVER. Who has the time or that? If someone wants to go on a date..They should just tell me. If they want to be with me…They shouldn’t be scared to say it.

Plus, i’m quite traditional when it comes to the chase..the ‘wooing.’ I like a boy to ‘hunt & gather,‘ as I ‘fan‘ myself prettily.

Guy friend: ‘You only like them to *hunt and chase* if you fancy them though. If you don’t, you always *shut* them down and we hate that. You make the approach extremely intimidating…’

Anyway…Blah.

I’ve decided to describe my love life like this….

It’s kinda like cleaning a window, with a raggy cloth. Some day, I’ll be able to see through the glass. 😉 

I bumped into my friend Shaun yesterday. He’s a bodyguard..

Shaun: ‘It’s not like the flipping movie Chrissie!!’

He’d just got back from London. I’d just got off a busy weekend. Plus, I’m actually looking for family security and safety, right now. A wee bit of close protection. Not all the time. Just when necessary. Sometimes, when we’re out as a family or i’m influencing something, people will stop to chatter or selfie with me. And I love that. Yet, they’ll just be ME & the babies. I need to make sure they’re always watched. I’m paranoid after some creepy guy, who only knew me from instagram, followed us around Doncaster & wouldn’t leave us alone & after a guy tried to glass another guy in a Manchester bar, because he was trying to hit on me?

I didn’t know either guy…I knew they were both trying to hit on me?

All I heard was the female manager shouting..

‘Get her out the way…’

Then guys and girls starting grabbing glass bottles and smashing them up against the bar, to use in a fight!

IT WASN’T EVEN A ROUGH PLACE.

I wouldn’t have gone there if it was. 

The police even got called and the bar had to be shut down for the evening, It got that crazy.

I don’t get it?

So, it was good to briefly catch up, with Shaun.

Shaun: ‘You’re starting early…’

Me: ‘Haha. I know. I don’t even care.’

(I was sat in a quiet corner at The Mallard, in Doncaster.)

Me: ‘You’ve got luggage on wheels. I hate it when people have luggage on wheels. Haha.’ 

Shaun: ‘I feel like a Trolley Dolly, but i’m working it.’

So we discussed security, talked life, work and caught up…The we dashed off. (I didn’t end up posting my blog. When people I know come up to me and start chatting, that’s it, you can’t shut me up. I’ll just spend time with them instead. But I like that about me. I put LIVING life, BEFORE typing it out.)

I guess, I need to find balance. 😉

Then Sam ‘The Reecey Reece’ fest messaged me, to see when we could schedule in ‘catch up’ time. We’re like ‘ships passing in the night.’

‘Are you free on…?’

‘Are you?’

Then I just got on with life.

I’ve had so much fun over the weekend. I’ve worked. I’ve loved. I’ve lived. I’ve had the best time. I celebrated my Dad’s birthday on Saturday. I did Xscape, Castelford with the kids. We smashed ‘Nandos.’ I did Meadowhall. I wiggled at Wagamamas.

Just so much!

I’m so grateful for how well, everyone treated me, over that time!

It was actually Pete (Ruby’s Dad’s Birthday) on Sunday. But Ruby didn’t want to hang out with him, because she wanted to do Influencing with me at Meadowhall. Being Pete. he showed up at Meadowhall, with is bestie Jay, in dying hope that he’d get to spend some time with Ruby..in her new specs.

It worked…and we all ended up doing dinner together at Wagamamas, with my Mum & brother.

But I kinda like that, we co parent well. We haven’t been together for years. In fact 7 years…Yet, it’s great that we can all ‘kick it.’ Y’know, just chill and have a duck pancake together. Lol.

When co parenting works.

Anyway, about my love life…

The weird thing is, with me being busy and ‘forgetting’ about love…It seems, that gents are peeking back into Wunna Land and tapping on my glitter door, again.

I’m calling this time..

Operation ‘Blasts From The Pasts.’ 

A couple of guys that USED to fancy me,…seemed to have returned to my DM’s with a ‘Hey. How are you?’ One guy had actually started dating a girl, but she went through his phone and *blocked* me…Haha. He didn’t even realise, until one of his other friends pointed it out.

Safe to say…They’re no longer together. (But there you have it! You shouldn’t have chosen ‘The Crazy’ over me. Hhahaha.)

It’s all good fun. A laugh. We’re all making memories.

If i could tell you anything.

I’ll tell you that I was a really lucky girl. I’ll tell you to always chase your dreams and when you feel inspired, to act upon it. A dream doesn’t just have to be a ‘make believe‘ moment. You can at least TRY and make your reality. People do it every day. Why not you? I’m living proof.

Always be kind. Always do the things that make you happy. Don’t sacrifice your true happiness, to ‘run through the motions.’ Wake up. Feel the breeze, Go with it. Nothing is better than living you best life.

Don’t listen to anyone, or anything but your gut instinct. It will show you the right way. It will also tell you when you’re ready.

Always believe in love…

It is the ONLY thing, that is going to power you through the bad times and make the good times simply MAGICAL.

Preach over…

Have an amazing Tuesday….

I love you.

 

 

 

 

Blend Out Bullying with Glamour Magazine

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I have the busiest October. But i’m SO happy. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. I’m beaming. I’m brimming over with a ‘rushy’ swirl of glee. It’s not even cocktail infused. It’s bubbling from my lil’ kitten soul.

I have so much going on. I stiletto stepped out of a big audition yesterday. One that came out of nowhere, via an instagram message. (Do not underestimate the power of social media.) I’m influencing a lot. I’m leaving my *Wunna* glitter stamp, wherever I journey. I’m living. I’m loving. I’m still very single. My love life is unfortunate. I’m still the eligible bachelorette.  I’m feeling 37 and sexy. But most of all, I’m using my voice, now that I have a voice…to inspire.

The only reason why I write this blog, is to inspire other humans, via my own ‘colourful’ story. You’ll probably do things differently to me. Yet, you’ll feel my story, my journey…and remember.

I’ve documented my existence for 10 whole years on THIS website, (it started on Myspace, but got deleted by a grumpy,) via a diary. This year is my 10th anniversary. I can’t believe i’ve stuck it out.

So…Yesterday…

If you didn’t know, I’m a massive Glamour Magazine fan. It’s a delicious edit of work, that has been my companion on many a train journey, shoot, quiet moment or hotel stay. It’s a written ‘show’ of utter bliss and excellence, to me. It’s glamourous, yet comforting. A somewhat young & modern, *twist* of excitement, that not only makes you see, but FEEL. It’s a magazine that will take you from ‘girl dom,’ to WOMAN hood. It’s a glamourous ‘prep school, ‘ that will give you a solid, yet fun insight, as to ‘what happens next.’

I bought this month’s edition…

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I treasured it with my life, because it just felt so good, even before I turned a page. I skimmed through it, because that’s what I always do at first. I need it to ‘flutter,’ through my mind.

YET, mid ‘flutter,’ I *paused.* I stopped a second. I really did stop..and I absorbed.

The ‘Blend Out Bullying’campaign.

Okay, so we all know that i’ve lived a life. If I have nothing else, I have a story to tell. I’ve documented it all, from life as a model, living all over the world, Hollywood nights, being Asian, with a Yorkshire birth, marriages to actors, break ups, time as an actress, my failing love life, motherhood, my ups, my downs, m crushes, my stints on TV and well…my last 10 years has had you follow my existence…daily.

When this happens…people talk. I have my own lil’ patch of Cyberland…and yes, NOW, I have SO much support, it’s incredible. I mean, if ‘Sex and The City’ & ‘The Osborne’s’ was Asian and had a baby…it would be me.

I’ve ended up in newspapers and magazines, which again…made people talk. A lot of wonderful things have been said about me…However, i’ve taken a lot of *FLAK* over the years…and that ‘FLAK’ used to affect me massively, in my 20’s. In my 30’s, now that i’ve graduated to ‘WOMAN,’ it’s ‘shaped’ me beautifully and glamorously. I’ve never let myself be a victim of cyber bullying openly…but I have been ‘labelled’ and named everything under the glitter sun and back.

After the life I’ve lived…It’ll take a lot more than ‘a few words’ to get me down. 

But here are some of the NEGATIVE words that people have called me…

Fake. Fat. Ugly. Ching Chong. Gold Digger. Chubby. Old. Wannabe. Nobody. Disgusting. Talentless. Dumb. Bitch. Whore. Slut.

I’ve even received ‘death threats.’

‘You should DIE because you’re so ugly. I will kill you. You should get raped. ‘ 

All this was luckily mingled in with ‘I love yooou’s’ which made all the difference. It balanced it out for me emotionally.

I lost two close friends of mine. Both appeared on reality shows. Both took their own lives, because of cyber bullying.

I was just someone who ‘took it on the chin.’ I was surrounded by love. I hoped, I had a purpose. I still do. It kept me going. Infact being a Mum and having an audience…kept me going.

I heard…

‘You’re too old to do this…’

I’m not too old. I’m actually doing it. It’s like i’m in my prime.

I’m delicious.

I saw what Nabela had done. (Please DO make sure you’re reading your editorials in magazines. Being a blogger, I KNOW that they’re not JUST written for kicks. They’re there to INSPIRE you. You’d hate it if you wrote a piece, an article, a blog, or a diary and everyone said that, they ‘only looked at the pictures.’ )

Every inch of me wanted to be involved…

Just like that, (i’m a doer, not a talker…So many people have ‘talked’ at me and done nothing…I’m not that. I’m too ‘sizzle.’)

I JOINED THE ‘BLEND OUT BULLYING’ CAMPAIGN with Glamour Magazine, to help make a difference and strip all bullies of their power.Every day a ‘keyboard warrior’ reckons they’re getting the better of me, I almost become stronger.

How many of you bought Glamour Magazine, this month, read the article, thought it was great, but didn’t bother to do it? Y’know…take action?

JUST SAYIN’

No matter what, I honestly believe that every single human, has had someone, somewhere say something negative to them, or about them, at some point, that has hurt them emotionally. Right? Sometimes we bite back. Sometimes we can’t, or we don’t.

HELP DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

I’m 37 and grown. I’ve lived a life, where i’ve heard  all sorts said about me. It bounces off me, like a bee sting…and ends in total glitter. I don’t even feel it anymore.

However, being immune to the problem, doesn’t make it better…does it?

Yesterday, I chose 4 hurtful words, that others had labelled me…and I wrote them on my face in concealer.

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Then I *BLENDED* them out…into my face.

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As I was doing it, I felt EMPOWERED, because I knew I was brave enough to ‘Middle finger’ the peeps who had ‘labelled’ me AND because I felt that I had the backing of my favourite magazine and of those who root for Wunna Land.

Hang on a second…

Right, so…

I’ve just this second, uploaded a video to youtube of my ‘blend.’

After all that, I then posted a picture of the result…Which was this…

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I never felt so beautiful. I don’t feel old. (I embrace my time and my age.) I don’t feel fat. (I’ve always felt good about my body.)  I don’t feel ugly (I love my lil’ Asian features,) and I’m certainly not fake. (There’s a whole lot of TV to prove it. Haha.)

To anyone who takes the time to red this blog..I firstly THANK YOU, as it’s not like a usual ‘cheeky’ Wunna blog. I have a message today. It’s kinda like ‘The Bible’ but bouji. 😉

It takes ONE MOMENT to simply write a word on your cheek and blend.

Join the ‘Blend out Bullying’ campaign today.

Make a difference…

You could even save a life.

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Thank you for following my life…

Chrissie,

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