Girls, Business and I’m Going on a Date…

Where to begin? Busiest Tuesday ever! But I must secretly love busy, as I watched ‘Fairytale Blond’ fuck Tuesday morning off with a McDonalds breakfast, (she’s had a stressy love life weekend. Not ideally ‘fairytale’, yet it’s all been glossed over with smiles and love. So i’m happy.) I did ‘Marks & Sparks’ lunch with ‘Firmonnell,’ who I just can’t help but love. It’s almost like there’s nothing ‘Firmonnell’ can do, that would ever piss me off, as we have the same warped sense of humour and tap into each other emotional chick zones. I talk to her a lot about life, my secrets, work, boys everything…If there’s a person I gossip to, it’s often ‘Firmonnell’ at any point. Mel…in ‘the cupboard’ when you’re not watching. Fairytale Blond on Snapchat, Shelby openly with office banter and sass, Lynne and Lady Shizzle in the morning and Hustle Barbie when she’s opposite me.

Me: ‘I thought we were all on the same period cycle..but we must not be?ย Have you had your period yet?’

‘Yeah. A week ago! I’ve come off mine???

Me: ‘But why have you had your period before me. You’ve left me hanging??’

I then ย praised the Lord, Gospel Style with ‘Double B.’ We’re said our ‘Amens’ to the world with sass and bad accents! That’s how we chose to spend a good ten minutes of our life. Pretending to be a gospel choir. ๐Ÿ™‚

Double B: ‘Fairytale Blond! Just do it. Just take that call and start praising the Good Lord, Jesus and all that other good stuff.’

Instead cookies distracted us.

Y’know, we’re all chicks and we’re all working so hard and dabbling in business this and business that. We’ve all had sort of these amazing weekends because we need those two days in a row to just RELAX and enjoy alcoholics. I mean, ‘Hustle Barbie’ went from a weekend of doing ‘The worm’ and ‘Just for Chrissie *Twerking* videos on snapchat’ to the most conservatively glamorous Monday morning of executive stuff that you could imagine. (She’s just sent me a snap of her stew dumplings, which Hot Alex her boyf ate, so she couldn’t bring me a portion. ๐Ÿ™‚ But I love Alex, as he bought her a surprise holiday.)

I want to tell you about Mel and her trip to the gynecologist, LOL…but I don’t know if I can…so I’ll wait on that until tomorrow. Hahahahah! DYING! I love her! She nearly passed out. If she gives me the ‘go ahead’…the story is yours. LOL. Mel is terrifying. But I LOVE HER. We’ve become SO close over the past months. She’s in a love swirl and it’s making her smile. Plus, I admire her for her ‘warrior’ type attitude to all that she is going through. Sometimes it’s not easy being a girl. We just make it look easy. ๐Ÿ˜‰

But yes, it’s a really busy time on Wunna Land and today a dude named James did suggest that he ‘would be my SheWee baby.’ Hahaha! Yes, he sang it to me. ๐Ÿ™‚ย 

Apparently my girl friends and I moan so much about having to walk up three flights of stairs in heels to do a wee, that we should all rethink the idea of having ‘She Wees.’ (If you don’t know what that is, it’s a portable wee penis looking spout that a girl can wee in times of trouble.)

FIRSTLY! I AM CHRISSIE WUNNA, GLAMOUR PUSS EXTRAORDINAIRE AND YOU WOULD HAVE TO GAUGE MY DIAMONDS AND EYES OUT BEFORE I EVER USED A SHE WEE.

But fuck it, let’s give them a bit of promo…It’s better than going in a bush. (I’d rather go in a bush.) And handy if you’re a ‘Festival chick.’ (I’m not a grubby festival chick. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

But yes, if you’ve prefer not to wee in someone’ cupped hands…than a She Wee is the answer to all your prayers, Google it.

James offered to BE my ‘She Wee’ today. Lol. AND cupped hands!

Me: ‘Why are you a dickhead?’

Fairytale Blond: ‘What is a She Wee?’

Double B: ‘It’s like a crack pipe for nunnies…’ LOL.

HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE LIFE!

Away from that, I will tell you that on Sunday I decided to go on more dates….

I haven’t dated in ages…I don’t want to be dry when it comes to the art of dating…but i don’t want to just date anyone, who isn’t the right soul fit.

Get it?

Anyway, I recieved this message…from a guy that i’ve been ‘on and off’ chatting to for actually years now. Not constantly…but he popped up again recently.

Before, i wasn’t really in a position to go on a date or feel like a dating…

However, in life, sometimes you just have to say ‘yes’ to more things..Saturday…I’m on a date…In Ipswich.

It’s a Date that my guy friends are more excited about than my chick friends. Aside from Mel and ‘Firmonnel’ who know sport or have husbands who know sport…

I haven’t been on a proper sort of meet up, ‘date’ with a guy, in a long time, where I have felt a ‘swirl.’

I feel a ‘swirl’ going down..

I’m excited for Saturday. He tells me he is also. Banter and chitter chatter is good and i find him ‘sexy’ hot. So we’ll see…At least he’s forward enough to quite cheekily and charmingly ‘have a go.’ That’s hot. We get on well…I like him…I have my ‘swirl’ smile on.

Firmonell: ‘I can tell you’re in a swirl this time!’

So yes, I have a shoot that morning and then i’m headed off to go spend some time with the ‘Mister Mister Football Player.’

I haven’t been on a ‘swirl’ date in ages…

๐Ÿ™‚

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fairytales, Single Life & Inboxes

‘Awww…we need to find you a man Chrissie’ said Mel, as she eased off her headset and sat forward in her swivel chair, with a radiating grin that only EVER occurs in a girl, a lady, or a woman when the ‘love bug’ has got her and she is embracing the magical swirl of it all.

I was flipping rummaging in a cupboard for a key. Glamoruously ofcourse. Yet the key wasn’t to anyone’s heart. Just simply to aid the opening of doors.

David: ‘What about London Business Man?’

See…I would NEVER have thought that David would’ve ever *scroll clicked* into Wunna land? So it surprised me. Yet, at the same time it was hilarious, as he did actually refer to ‘London Business Man’ as ‘London Business Man,’ which always makes me smile.

‘Nothing. We aren’t anything…

Mel: ‘You do right…I mean he can’t just try to come back now…’

‘Well he’s just sent me a Whatsapp reading…*Okay handing in the towel and giving up ๐Ÿ™ *’

I just looked as David, as he left Mel and I, to dash out the door and start his own work day, in his tie, with is diary…and smiled with a confident eye contact, that would inform anyone that, that particular chapter of ‘last year’ was and is waaaaaaaaaaaay in the past.

‘He can’t just adore me, choose another girl over me…fob me off, yet THEN realize I might have been a better choice and OH LOOK, I’m now doing well and after noticing that… decide to THEN shimmie back in…I’m not soft like that. I will do catch up drinks with him…yet…I just can’t take him seriously…’

I’m the warmest, most forgiving bundle of boobied Oriental that you’ll ever meet…but i’m not foolish.ย I’m a big girl. I’m grown. In a moment when I utterly adored him, he made me feel utterly rejected because he wasn’t ready to care for me…and anyone can relate to that feeling. Yet…that was a year ago. Time moves on. As soon as I got over that niggly rubbishy feeling, I jollied onward. I’m not weird like that. I’m happy and the best people LIVE their new chapters with love, forgiveness, with smiles and with rum cocktails. (Mel’s going through a huge new chapter right now, where after years of absolute shit…and THREE YEARS of single life….The Big Dude up above has watched her fight back so hard, that he’s got bored of the show, cut her some slack and thrown her a happy ending. Makes me smile. Her ‘Love swirl’ told her that he loves her the other night. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

‘CHRISSIE!!!! I’M IN LOVE! OFFICIALLY:) ‘

Watching her made me beam. In fact, they’re all in love right now…’ALL’ meaning my chick friends. They’re all so different. All in different types of love, different stages of love and in different generations of love. Firmonnell with her 2 children and hubby ‘Big D,’ who go through life with smiles and this happy family life. ‘Fairytale Blond,’ in a newish ย love that is becoming more and more stable by the day. (She literally does ‘love’ by the book. It’s like one big, moral …Fairytale text book.) ‘Double B’ and Master.G…are young 20 somethings that are all flashy, urban and glamorously ‘gangsta bouji.’ ย They’re like this hilariously bizarre comedy duo, who were simply made for each other. Lynne has been with Tony for hundreds of years, from being fifteen to sixty!!! ย (AS IF) Hot Sarah is all moved in, loved and doing her 4th year Anniversary, yet still seeks adventure. Mel, as you know, is three months in, as soft hearted as they come with a warrior exterior. You don’t mess with her. She’s fallen madly in love, after three whole years of ‘no man anywhere.’

They all kinda give me hope and i’ve been in love, had loads of attention, no attention, been happy, been sad, been married three times, up, down and everywhere, from all angles of that glammy coin.

But i’ve just never found my true love yet and even though I’mย the only one that’s single, I don’t seem to mind as right now? Until I find the man of my dreams…that crazy love…that love that takes over me, my soul mate….I’m not bothered. I’m not in the mood to *kiss a bunch of toads.* I’m too old for that…and too egotistical. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I’m going through more life changes this year than ever…and embracing them…I think? Even though there are A LOT OF CAREER THINGS ‘PENDING…’ And it’s awful because it’s like typing a message, hitting ‘send,’ but your wifi connection conks out, as the *swirl* icon buffers around and around and around, going nowhere…PENDING is better than nothing, but still shit. ๐Ÿ™‚

Firmonnell: ‘Yeah but Chrissie, that’s exciting, as all the things that are pending are really BIG things.’

‘Yes, but ย don’t have them yet.’

Then Double B decided to cast Firmonnell in the pretend film version of chrissiewunna.com, if it was a budget ‘Sex in the City’ with a..

‘You’d definitely be the red haired lesbian one, Chrissie’s *Carrie* and I’m that dirty one that talks shit all the time..’

I’m lucky because in my world i’m on constant mode of ‘hide it well’ stress. Yet, it almost doesn’t absorb because it’s completely dissolved by the best chick friends, a girl could ever HAVE, who inject my stress with the most hilarious girl banter and laughter. I love them. ๐Ÿ™‚ You should too. They’ll send you nudes.

‘Prince Jonathan’s completely changed since he’s met Fairytale Blond. He’s found his one.’

‘I mean yeah, look at Master G and I, he used to be a massive coke head and now he’s lovely.. It’s like a fairytale in itself.

HAHAHA.

‘Once upon a time, there was a….’

At the end of the day I can’t control any of the ‘pending,’ so I just have to let life decide for me…

I mean GOD, I’m a finalist in the UK Blog Awards this year. Over 97,000 people voted, through a public vote, which landed me in the TOP 8 ‘most voted for’ blogs in my category. WHAT? That shocked me. That was in December and I found out I was finalist in January. I HONESTLY COULDN’T BELIEVE IT. It was glorious! ๐Ÿ™‚ I happy danced.

THEN, and obviously I KNEW the whole time, that I was a finalist, yet sort of made the executive decision to forget about it all and just get on with doing what I do best and that’s tell my story. Yet even though I couldn’t be more honoured. Like it feels just SO SPECIAL, as this is MY LIFE. It’s not a review site, an advice site, or anything…It’s literally just my story….and fortunately a journey that so many of you, all over the world have tuned in to. It’s unbelievably humbling.

Today I got a reminded that the event was in April (I can’t wait for it but i’m terrified and I DO EVENTS ALL THE TIME. BIG ONES. The email said that the JUDGES had now handed in their winning results? WHAT!!! That ALONE, really shit me up for a bit, because I had FORGOTTEN that I was being judged by ย the judges through FEBRUARY!! JESUS!

So, now there’s nothing I can do, but pour a wine, keep ‘Dear Diarying’ it , show up in April, STILL FLIPPING SINGLE..and not win. Hurrah!

Ps/ Thank you for all the support ๐Ÿ˜‰

PPS/ Thank you to the guy that inboxed me this message today…

‘Love your blog & ffs, 99 percent of males would love to have you in their life…I think you’re amazing..xx’

The reason why i’m thanking you, is because there was a moment today when I might have been a little fed up…and I just happened to glimpse down at my phone and that message popped up randomly…But it was so positive and so lovely that it made me FEEL chipper. So I thank you for that and send you my love.

PPS/ The dude that send me the video in his builders uniform…plastering…Always a treat! Lol. Cheers! ๐Ÿ™‚