Happy Friday! I hope you’ve jiggled your feeling into place! I obviously have a lot going on right now, but i’m dandy. I might have accumulated a stress rash, (ooh delicious..) but let’s face it, right now, life could be worse.
My inbox is rammed. I had THE SINGLE MOST AMAZING PHONE CALL this morning. You know when you’re just a massive fan of people and they call you. That’s what happened to me, this morning!
My life is surreal right now and it almost feels like it hasn’t even started?
I’m about to shimmie into the ‘First Dates’ restaurant, to have a flirt with our Fred. I’m so grateful to be given a shot at love.
My date with Jonny, is already being called one of ‘First Dates’ most SEXUALLY CHARGED DATES, in FIRST DATES’ HISTORY.
( I enjoy that i’ve managed to tinker onto the most romantic show and ruin it., by being sexually charged. Lol)
Mum: ‘Ugh, you haven’t gone and ruined my favourite show have you! Lol’
I lived the date, but haven’t watched the date, and I certainly enjoyed a tipple or two hundred…Hurrah!
I dread to think what I’ve said or done!
Yet, i’m so happy. I’m so excited. I’m busy as hell. I’ve just signed to new management.
(They represent Idris Elba, the ‘Sexiest Man Alive.’ I know!!!!)
There’s been tons of Wunna Land support and I can’t wait to just kick back and tune in…I’ll be tuning in like the rest f you,…
I have family time tomorrow with Ruby & Junior. Then I shoot off to Manchester on Sunday.
MONDAY MORNING, I’m on CAPITAL YORKSHIRE!!!
AS ‘ACTUAL’ IF!!!
Smear me in Nandos ‘Peri Peri’ gravy!
I’m talking all things ‘First Dates’ with Adam & Jo Jo...and it’s CRAZY, because I live for their show!!!! stalk them. I copy them. I want to be them!! Haha
I literally tune in every morning and wee myself a little with Northern delight!
I can’t actually believe that I’m on their show!!!
I hear Monday night’s First Dates, is said to be a ‘tricky one,‘ as a bombshell is dropped…There’s a revelation.
Y’know what…I’m just enjoying my time…
I HAVE A LOT TO TELL YOU…
SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED, SINCE!!
However, it’s Friday and I need wine…So follow all my ‘socials’ and stay tuned for the Wunna ‘Magic’ on First Dates…Monday, 10pm, Channel 4.
I keep having this recurring dream, where i’m in a Tiki bar (lol..ofcourse,) with the same faces, that I don’t know in REAL life, but know like best friends in ‘dream land.’ (Hahah. Don’t ask!) In this Tiki Bar, there are really exotically, lavish looking cocktails. The one I always see in my dream, is the one that comes in a ceramic, ‘sort of zombie, hula dancer’talldrinky cup…and it ‘moonwalks‘ backwards, around the rim of peoples wooden Tiki tables, as they *wink* at strangers and I watch on.
That’s all normal.
(In my world.)
But last night, I dreamt that Mike, my first husband was there (in this Tiki Bar..He’d hate that) and we were falling back in love, but sexily. (I don’t love him, don’t worry. My dream just wanted me to.) We kept feeling it each other up lovingly and cuddling all the time? It was almost as if he was the ‘key’ to all my life happiness.
Then we went back to a dark hotel and had ‘dream land’ sex. But it felt like we were in New York, high in the sky. I remember looking out of a window that looked over the city.
I got zapped out of that! I *blinked* and everything had disappeared.
…all of a sudden ‘Boyband Jonny,’ who I used to date years ago, straight after the Hilton Show, *popped* up in my dream. He’s Gay now. In fact, he was Gay, all along. He just didn’t realize it, at the time, when he dated me. He mixed up fancying me, for simply finding me fabulous. I’m probably the only girl, he’s ever had ‘half sex’ with. He said, I broke his heart. I didn’t though. I was simply ‘key’ to him discovering himself.
I like Jonny, he’s cool. He was actually a great boyfriend. He wrote me a love letter, when I left in a taxi. I am extremely happy, that HE is happy now, he’s found himself and utter true love.
I don’t mind an unfortunate bit of ‘heart break,’ if it’s helpful.
I do hate it when my exes hijack my dreams!!! Especially,when i’m at a Tiki Bar, (do they not have dream land’ manners.) A Tiki bar, by the way, is my favourite kind of bar in the whole wide world. (If i could own one, I would. Yet, not for profit, just for kicks.)
I want to be able to have my heart broken, storm into my Tiki, BE pissed off, put on my hula skirt, and sip rum out of a flaming fired coconut, with a cocktail umbrella in my hair, as I pull faces and cry.
I’d have to own it, simply because I wouldn’t want to get my ‘sorry, hula, ass’ up and pay my tab , whilst crying. I’d need Tiki minions for that.
It’d make ‘hearkbreak’ much easier.
I just can’t get away from being haunted by my exes. Why??
STUPID CUPID, you’re A REAL MEAN, guy.
I’m even getting tattoos shortly, to both celebrate and at the same time REMIND ME of things that happened to me this year…
AGAIN, I’ve had a big year of change and I need to remember it. I want to remember it. So I’m going to Tattoo it.
(I haven’t had a tattoo in a million years.)
I was telling Ruby, in bed, last night…and even SHE *paused,* laughed and said..
‘Oh my GOD! Don’t get THAT ONE!!!’
She’s SEVEN! Hahaha. She looked at me like I was ‘whacked.’
Hurrah! Flaming Coconut Drinks for everyone!
Yesterday, I was doing bits of Christmas shopping, at The Frenchgate Centre, in Doncaster, and I decided to go on the ‘Put £1 in it’ massage chairs.
I love a massage.
I love a moment, where you can just hit *pause* and relax for a second, during the bustle. That’s why I used to love Prosecco Pit Stop. (Which no longer exists.)
Woe is me….
BUT, OH MY GOODNESS!
I haven’t actually been on a massage chair in YEARS. Let me tell you. They HAVE IMPROVED!!
I’m sat there, slightly awkward, slightly in public, slightly okay with it though. I’m used to winging an awkward situation and making it look glam. (Hilton taught me well.)
The money goes in the slot and HOLY SHIT, that CHAIR, MADE LOVE TO ME.
It caressed and moaned and rubbed and loved. It oozed. It cared. It romanced and it danced.
THEN…OUT OF NOWHERE…
THE massage chair STARTS ******* BATTERING ME. It starts PUNCHING MY BACK with glee. Then BASHING MY HEAD, FROM SIDE TO SIDE. (Haha.) It starts SQUEEZING THE LIFE, out of my little Asian ribs …and WORST OF ALL…EMBEDDED IN THE CHAIR, MUST HAVE BEEN AN ANAL THUMPER…
SOMETHING KEPT RISING UP, IN THE CHAIR AND THUMPING ME UP THE BUM, BUM….
I couldn’t make it stop and I kept having to pretend, everything was lovely, because I was in public and my daughter was stood next to me. LOL
Do I just have this affect on everything!?! Nothing can just LOVE ME FOREVER, without aggressively Anal thumping me? It started so ‘steadily.’ It loved me. IT DID!!! Then just went MAD and started being hateful or horny????
THEN, when the abused had finished, the chair went on to *SQUEEZE* by legs to death (and my legs are pathetic like Bambi…But luckily, it all suddenly *stopped.*
BUT my legs had got TRAPPED!!! (Hahaha)
WHAT THE ******* IS MY LIFE!!!
I thought the deal was that I only had to ‘suffer’ through the LOVE part of my existence…NOT the ACTUAL other bits of actual LIFE TOO!
I put FIFTY SHADES TO SHAME.
Who needs, a RED ROOM? In fact, who needs a fucking husband!?!
I want another go!!!
Ruby was there trying to free my legs, but laughing so hard, she was in tears. MY MUM KNEW, bad stuff was going to happen to me, so instead of protecting me, she decided to FILM the horror.
I’m sure she’s secretly like, ‘I paid shit loads of money to put you through school, you WILL become a STAR, even if I have to FORCE IT, film it and get the insta likes FOR YOU!!’
Then I get home, needing 72 wines, a bit of calm and a spot of telly and all that’s on is a ‘Come Dine With Me’ episode with a Farmer, who has made everyone horny with BEETROOT, by fireworks and an ex body building Geordie, in a purple towel, who’s baked a pie?
I LOVE ‘COME DINE WITH ME.’ (I once got asked to go on the show, but didn’t go on it, because I didn’t want to cook for everyone…which obviously is the whole point. Haha.)
I don’t even cook for my own children, let alone strangers. (Ruby at 7, could probably be a fine dining, food critic, she’s eaten out THAT much.)
Bottom line, I was passing time before ‘X Factor,’ followed by a dose of ‘I’m a Celeb.’
After the massage chair, I wasn’t in the mood for watching pies being made…I either needed a documentary on GOD, TO heal my broken soul, like a prayer. OR just go the other way and find something on the lines of ‘Debbie Does Dallas.’
This time next week, I’m on FIRST DATES!!!
I’M ON FIRST DATES, NEXT MONDAY!!!
I actually can’t wait to watch tonight’s episode. It’s almost like a starter, for my ‘next week’ main! 😉
This morning, I woke up all stressed and anxious.I don’t even know why. Then little bits of life, that respond to the names ‘Ruby & Junior’ filled my world with giggles…At that point, everything was okay again.
I’m having one of those days. One of those days when you need to crawl back into bed, speak to no one for a second, have a moment, y’know…a ‘word with yourself’ and start it all over again.
However, life is rooting for me, because after the early school run, I looked down at my phone, as I watched my petrol station Costa coffee, trickle out the machine and waved at one of the Dads I know.
Anyway….I saw this on Glamour Magazines Twitter ‘Moments.’
..and it reminded me that not only did I have a purpose, but doing pretty alright at inspiring and standing up for love, myself and for others, who may not quite yet have the balls to ‘sing out loud.’
I’m really proud of the ‘Blend out Bullying‘ campaign and I’m so glad that I joined Glamour Magazines crusade to wave ‘Cya’ to Cyber bullies.
That made me smile. I skipped away from the gas station…(Sorry! I mean .PETROL station. I still think American, for some reason.) Anyway, I skipped away like the happiest bunny in all of the land, because they reminded me that no matter what, in life, I did something that helped make a difference, to someone, somewhere.
(I’d like to see MORE people ‘Blending out Bullying.’ You’re the STAR of YOUR OWN SHOW. Make a difference. See love, not dollar signs.)
As if my favourite magazine is showing Wunna Land some love…and AS IF, I appear on my favourite tv how in a couple weeks.
I’m having to pinch my kitty self…. (Ooh…Vodka spurted out. 😉 )
Last night, I couldn’t sleep, so I wrote a blog, in the dark, whilst in bed. I’m utterly CRINGING at myself, right now. YET, I promised myself that I would flipping post it, because it’s how I truly felt, at that particular moment…at that precis time…
AND SINCE THAT’S WHAT I’M ABOUT…
Here’s what I wrote…
(Rewind to last night…)
I’m literally sat up in bed writing this, because I can’t sleep. It’s only early. I guess around 9.30pm? But everything around me seems so still. So quiet, I feel really calm, yet my mind (as always) is fluttering. It’s busy. It’s racing. I’ve poured a wine, which is sat on my bedside table. I’m typing in the dark. I have no clue why, I couldn’t be bothered to switch a light on? I can’t see my keys, so I feel like I’m typing blind. But it weirdly feels amazing. It kinda feels really real. How all my writing should be done.
I can’t stop thinking about my life tonight and I don’t know why? I want to succeed and make all my dreams come true. Y’know, just do really well, because when you do well at the things you love…you glow and no feeling is better than that. That’s not what i’m thinking about though. I don’t even know why I typed that out?
I’m thinking about my love life.
I know! Surprised right?
I’ve just got back from a late night trip to the supermarket…to buy wine. An elderly lady stopped me. I’ve seen her around a lot. I do know her a little bit. But It usually makes her day when she sees me, because i’ll always stop and chat to her. I love making time for her. I love making her day.
She always tells me how much she loves me because ‘it’s good to see a girl BEING a girl…’
Tonight she told me, that I was pretty…’a beautiful girl,’ but then added…
‘You’d think a girl as beautiful as you, would’ve found someone to be with, by now.’
I smiled, I thanked her. She was so cute and I adored every minute of seeing her. I love the elderly, because they’re wise. Even the rude ones are wise. I always respect their words and absorb what they have to say. Times and things may have changed, yet how people FEEL haven’t. You can always, always learn a life lesson from an old lady or gent.
‘You’d think a girl as beautiful as you, would’ve found someone to be with, by now.’
Don’t get in a tizzy, as i’m never one to really listen to what others think…But she’s left my mind ticking. She must have. I’m sat up in bed, in my bra and glasses, typing the dark because I can’t sleep. I can’t stop thinking about what she said?
Now, i’ve never really felt lonely. I never feel alone because my world, the world I created ‘Wunna Land,’ is filled with love. I’m surrounded by life. I have a close family, who stand by me. Ruby and Junior, my babies…Their hearts are filled with utter joy for Mama. I have some great friends. Good company at times. I have a mini sized audience, and most of all…I have me.
(I’ve always been my own best friend. I’ve always been really comfortable being ME and i’m happy with what I stand for. Yeah. I’ve disappointed myself loads, through the years. But on the whole…I’m more than happy with who I am. Who i’ve become.)
Right now, I don’t feel lonely. But why don’t I? I should, right? But I don’t…(Even the little old lady feels bad for me, now and she shouldn’t! Haha.)
I almost feel like i’m bubbling over with this exotic life force of happy juice?
It doesn’t matter what you do, provided you don’t harm others, or yourself and you are happy with your official life choices, right?
I know that i’m single and i’m aware that i’m knocking on a bit now. I feel young spirited, yet glad to be a 30 something, as I accidentally brought wisdom and dignity along with me, on my little journey.
God knows how???
I CERTAINLY thought, i’d lost BOTH at one point. I was positive I left them in some bar in LA, when I was 24. Yet, they found me. (And whenever I say God, I am always referring to ‘Bacchus’, The God of Wine.)
I know, I must NOT be scared to be alone…as I still seem quite happy to go through life picking through boys, and walking away from marriages, because they hurt my soul.
They just weren’t right, because I compromised my heart, myself, or I just wasn’t thinking….
I said ‘YES’ to those marriages impulsively, because I’m a hopeless romantic and I fall in love, when I FEEL excited and I do it so madly…so deeply.
But I haven’t felt like that in ages.
The last guy that made me feel like that was ‘The Swirl.’ (Who i sometimes name ‘T Bone.’
When I don’t feel excited, I find it really easy to ‘shrug’ the moment off, with a ‘he’s just not the right guy.’
But I like that about me. I know how I feel and i know what love and excitement feels like. When it hits me again, I’ll notice. Yet this time i’ll be ready.
I don’t think there’s an age, when you SHOULD find love. I don’t say anything, but I hate it when I hear chicks, say, ‘I need to be married by 30.’ Or, ‘I need to find Mr.Right by the time i’m…’
You really don’t.
Love to me is always about chemistry…
I’ll find it, but this time I want the real deal.
THE REAL DEAL …
and i’ll wait forever, until I find it.
Until I feel it.
The next time I marry, (if I marry, I can’t decide if it’s an old school concept? I might be ‘blah’ about it because i’ve done it so many times and it hasn’t been right?) I’ll marry the most exceptional man. He’ll be a GREAT MAN. An incredible man…and I DO intend to one day find the man of my dreams. I fully intend on doing that…
Yet, if I don’t…I’m fine with that also. I don’t know why? I guess, I’m like this because i’m happy, right now? Maybe, it’ll kick in when i’m 80 and seriously alone, with all my cats and no one to love.
Knowing me, I’ll still feel fine and pour a rum, for everyone else, in the old peoples home, as I wink at Jeff, with the dodgy back.
If i’m being honest, unlike work, where I create my own opportunities, I kinda expect HIM (The man of my dreams) to find ME. (Lazy, I know. Lol) I find that far more romantic. I’m traditional like that. Old school romance just gets me going…I’m finding i’m both. I love the art of old school romance, mixed with a modern day twist of unconventional, yet unconditional love.
I might have already crossed paths with him? I might not…Who knows? I’m just not worried about it and if you’re in the same situation as me, you don’t need to be worried about it either.
Let’s just go with he’ll find me…
Every single part of my kitten soul, says he’ll find me.
He’ll come get me…
But he’s not as pathetic as I am, so he won’t be slurping wine out the bottle, typing in the dark, in a bra and glasses. 😉
He won’t be sat awake typing a ‘Dear Diary….’post, because a lovely old lady in the supermarket was worried about his well being.
..he’ll see the beauty in it…and think, SHIT, that’s exactly the kinda girl I both want and NEED.
I like to feel needed….
I’ve noticed that… (I get that from my Mum.)
Cheers! Hurrah! Sadness for everyone! Haha.
There’s a single guy, somewhere in the world right now, who is utterly MADE to be my life buddy, my other half, my ‘bestie, bestie’…my soulmate…my guy.
And I completely trust that LIFE (you jolly old thing) will have my back and send him my way, with bells on…but when the timing is exactly right.
He may already know it, or he may not? He may have no clue? He may have never ever heard of Wunna land, or even ever met me yet…?
OR, he may already be in my phone contacts…
But i’m excited…Are you?
(ps/ I don’t even know if i’m gonna post this, because I usually wake up in the morning and cringe at what i’ve ‘tipper tappered.’ My mind goes wild and my keyboard fingers get all excited!! Yet, no matter how cringe, I feel, I’ll promise myself NOW, that I’ll just post it anyway… I mean **** it. It’s exactly how I felt at 9.30pm, on Nov 14th, 2018, right? And that’s what this story, this diary, my lil’ version of life, is all about.)
I messaged Toby back last night, because he had thanked me for writing the blog about him. He was quite the gentleman about the blog…He’s a utterly real being. He’s not dashed in fakery, from the brief bits I know.
Toby: ‘You’ve captured me pretty well in your blog..’
Me: ‘I’m either a really good judge of character, or just really good at stalking. Lol’
Thank you for following my life…
pps/ I’ve got a school mums dinner tonight and i’m excited. I’m meant to be at a film premiere…But I opted for the Mamas, over the red carpet. 😉
Only do the things you love. LIVE. Yet, always stay loyal to the things that you believe are right for YOU. They’re the things that will always make you happy. Stay true to what you KNOW you love and that way, you’ll succeed. You’ll go far, provided you always stay grounded and remember where you came from.
So! My good news phone call…everyone’s been messaging me about it. I feel like I can definitely tell you about it now, as the trailer goes out this Friday and it airs December 3rd, on Channel 4.
I will be telling you everything about it as we go along…so do not fret. I will also be referring you back to the time after I had filmed the episode…to actually bring you into the ‘what happened next.’
J: ‘Yeah! I got the call! We’re finally on!’
(I don’t know what’s up with ‘J’ right now. We were really good friends and now he’s all weird and distant.)
Me: ‘I know!!! I’m so excited! I can’t wait!!’
Production Team: ‘Chrissie, you literally sound like the most excited person,i’ve ever heard. It’s nice.’
I’m gonna be back on your telly screens after years of getting married, divorced, growing babies etc….I’ve actually waited over a YEAR, for this to air. (I filmed it August 11th of LAST YEAR!!!)
And i really wanted it to air, because I wanted to relive it. I wanted to feel it again. I wanted it to come ‘alive.’ In life, you only so often get the opportunity to add to your glitter bucket of ‘life experience’ and this experience was probably one of THE BEST experiences, I ever had… in my entire life.
I kinda feel really honoured, really grateful and utterly ‘little girl’ excited…and it’s moments like this, that make me beam.
It’s such a great memory, that’s going to get brought to life. But i’m gonna tell you more about it later, as I go along….
Just know, that i’m back on your telly December 3rd, 10pm, on Channel 4.
I have a ‘Favourite show’ and it’s so surreal, because i’m about to appear on it. I’ve filmed a lot of things, yet this is the best thing i’ve ever had the joy of being a part of.
I have LOTS TO TELL YOU, once it airs….and little bits for you to tinker with before you get to enjoy it.
Always do the things that make you happy and you’ll know if they do, because you’ll feel alive. You’ll feel excited. You’ll FEEL a rush, buzzing through your system. You’ll have this smile on your face that you can’t seem to wipe off…
That’s how you know you’re happy, i guess?
Away from that…
I was talking to some of my LA friends this morning and we were reliving our Hollywood days. I remember waking up, going to the gym, doing brunch, smashing audition, after audition, all around the town, hearing a ‘no,’ more than I heard a ‘yes,’ but feeling ALIVE, whenever that ‘YES’ CAME.
I was ready for it.
I wanted you to Google Toby yesterday, because I admired him for his fight. He’s just like I am. I remember being a kid a young 20 something in LA. I had an acting agent. I actually agent 2 weeks, after arriving from Yorkshire, on my own, with nothing but a suitcase in my hand.
I knew no one..But I found my way so easily. I went to acting school, I found a place to live. I got a job. I made really great friends. I learnt my craft and that town, until I knew it like the back of my hand. I found a way to put myself in every correct place, at every correct time. I worked hard. I got distracted. I married young. I forgot why I was there…
I’ve seen so much. I’ve seen so much, that your heart would skip 40 beats, per view.
Anyway, when I was a kid, I was going out on auditions…Not as many as I was hoping for. I was hearing about the roles, from friends, but not getting out on the casting.
I could’ve sat and twiddled my thumbs. But I didn’t. I don’t know why I didn’t. But I didn’t. What i did, was find out about every single role going…that I was right for. I managed to find a friend, who had all the breakdowns of all the jobs, that they were casting for daily, for tv shows and movies in LA. I paid him, to send me them, every morning, by 8am.
Every morning, I would head to Kinkos with my headshot, resume and a bunch of envelopes and pay to use the internet (I had a home all of the time, I was there. But there was a couple weeks where I lived out of my car.) It’s sounds harsh. But it wasn’t. Lots of struggling actors do, out there.
Every morning I’d head to Kinkos, by 8am, to recieve the breakdowns on my emails…then I’d pick the roles that I was suitable for, put everything in the correct envelopes and use a direct ‘hand to hand’ mail service to take my headshot, straight to casting, before noon, unde r the guise that my agent had done so.
I was already SAG (you have to be, to work professionally, out there. You need your SAG card. They give you an opportunity to work hard for one.) I did that by doing hours of extra work on E.R daily, at Warner Bros, until I received all my vouchers. You needed 3, to become SAG. It’s not easy. But I had buddied up to the guy in charge of the extras and he gave me my vouchers…one at a time, sporadically….after a few months. (Which is good going.)
Long story short…
I got called in to audition, almost every single day for all tv shows, from my ‘magic mail box’ as I called it. For everything. The O.C, Charmed, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Will & Grace..You name it…
Casting would call my agent, because I had made like they had sent the submission. I used to even call casting, pretending to be my agent, saying that I had this girl, called ‘Chrissie’ that they needed to see.
I already knew a few people in casting, as I had enrolled in classes that they taught, that put me right in front of them…Plus, I had already met load of the gay casting producers, whilst out drinking in West Hollywood at The Abbey.
I knew what I was doing and I did it well.
I also got a job, in a gym where all ‘the importants’ worked out and interned at a Talent agent….to make sure I was always in the loop.
My agent would call me to tell me the auditions that I had got called in on….
They had submitted me, but never got a call back. I submitted myself….called casting and got MYSELF straight in.
So, this is what I mean by seeing your goals, taking your life, rolling it up into a ball and directing it the best way you can, to make it go your way.
I was always out on the scene because I needed to network. I did everything by networking. I probably networked more than I honed by craft. That’s why I never made it as an actress out there.
You have to both. You have to everything.
When I found balance…I nailed it.
I was a rubbish actress back then. But i’m a great actress now, but because i’ve lived and learnt.
Anyhow, modelling took over. It was easy money. I didn’t know that it was going to be the thing that plummeted me further up the ladder of ‘look at me.’ But it did.
I then started writing my blog, after DK at the coffee shop MADE ME.
I didn’t have internet at my apartment. I couldn’t afford it. So every day, I would casually saunter into the Apple Store at the Beverly Centre and write my blog, on their display computers, that they had online.
(I’m not sure if they allow you to do that now. But back in the day they did!)
Well…they saw me everyday. I looked like I was checking a display computer out. I was typing my blog, every day, at the exact same time. I mean, they must’ve known, surely? But they just let me get away with it anyway.
I AM SO GRATEFUL.
DK: ‘I used to watch you come into the coffee shop and hang around the self help section and think, god she’s either a really trendy homeless person or a celebrity??’
Do all of the things that make you happy. Always be powered by love. Always find a way to make something work. Find solutions, instead of making problems. Go for it. You can design your own kind of life…
Happy Friday Feeling EVERYONE! You made it, you delicious treats of ‘ooh laa.’ I hope you can feel the excitement jiggling and I hope you embrace every inch of your own kinda weekend bliss!
You deserve it. We all do.
I LOVE FRIDAYS!
(It just always seems like an achievement. Y’Know one where you can either stick on ya nipple tassles or pull on a jumper, in celebration…Yet still know everything is going to be okay. Well, for the next couple days anyhow. Lol)
Thank you for taking a moment, to click and find yourself here.
It means the world to me. You’re sexy and have excellent taste in bloggers.
Hurrah! Porn star martini’s for everyone!
No matter what you’re doing, whether you’re planning your outfit for a weekend of debauchery, running around after kids, pouring 40 wines, keeping your fingers crossed that ‘date night’ goes ahead, working, or working ‘it,’ crying into a gin, swearing because your friends have let you down, or simply taking advantage of a big old chill, where doing nothing at all, is your comfort…..
KNOW that tonight, you have The Wunna land ‘magic’ by your side and I wish you ALL the best, you kittens.
(Don’t get into trouble though, because knowing my luck, i’ve sprinkled you with the ‘take it too far,’ fun bug. I always intend for calm, but get myself into some kind of accidental predicament and live a morning of ‘post cocktail’ regret. Once I took my friend out in LA, and sold him for chewing gum. Then I got a call from my other friend, you id managed to lose, who woke up having accidentally changed his sexual preference, for the night. 🙂 )
‘Post Cocktail’ regret is always the worst kind of regret. Drink steady. Live large.
Oh fuck it. Do whatever. I’m starting to sound like Mother Mary. I’m sending MYSELF to sleep.
Okay, so i’m a bit bored and i’m on the hunt for excitement. This is always dangerous for me. But i’m having to ‘wait’ on something, which will cause excitement and to be far, i’ve been pretty patient, to say i’m not at all, a very patient person at all.
I get bored VERY easily.
I had a guy (well friend of mine) moan because I’m apparently ‘the sexiest woman he’s ever seen,’ yet he couldn’t even think of dating me because i live too far away. (I’m an hour’s train journey away. Lol Which to me, isn’t that far?)
So already, if a guy is concerned over a small journey, then the chemistry, or pull isn’t strong enough for him…which is a sexy lil’ shame because he hot. ( I know people who lived in different flipping countries, who dated…and two of them are now married.)
Chemistry always overrides distance, if it’s real, right?
But that’s that story. It feels like ages ago now.
Then I stalked ‘Runnings’ on Instagram, who i’d been following anyway…because I adored his story. I’d watched him have a ‘happy’ moment on tv one night and it made me smile. I openly told everyone that I woke up at 3am and decided to stalk profiles. His was the best kinda stalk. Lol
Being me, I tagged him in it, so he knew!
Anyway, he ‘thanked me‘ (because he’s kind) and when I went in with comedy and sass, he replied with laughter and a…
‘My only questions is why it took you so long to Instastalk? I did my stalking ages ago!’
SMOOTH! I like it!
So we’ve had brief banter and he’s concerned that he may smell like brocolli, yet quickly assured me he was made of chocolate?
I like both, so either way’s a win for me. Haha.
He’s meeting me in Vegas at six o clock in the morning, one time, at the chapel for the wedding…which will be our first date.
I’m good at weddings in Vegas (lol,) so i’m sure i’ll smash it.
Then he said..
‘Well, we’ll see if our stars align and we bump into one another…’
Is that romantic, or a blow off? Haha. I’m so out the loop, I can’t tell?
But he followed it up with asking my permission to ‘physically pick me up, if our stars do align.’
He’s built like some kind of GOD. So hey, why not give the lil’ Asian a ‘lift up.’
I’d be like an angry, sarcastic chihuahua. He’ll love having a pet.
(Oh,shit! That sounds rude! can make anything sounds naughty!)
Yesterday morning, I managed to catch up with a friend of mine ‘Sailor B.’ It felt like I hadn’t seen him in ages, so it was really really good, to see him, walk passed a window, spot me and beam.
I like making people happy.
We chatted over morning wine and caught up…and the thing I like about ‘Sailor B’ is that he’s so easy to get on with. We’ve become good friend. He’s hard, but he’s soft all at the same time. Lost and found. Just a little bit of everything really… He’s honest…WELL…with me, he’s honest.
It was good morning….
But I just had a niggly feeling in the back of my mind, that something wasn’t okay…?
Something wasn’t sitting well with me?
We said ‘bye’ before lunch time., so we could get on with life…This was after we chatted to my chick bestie ‘Firmonnell,’ (who has used her Friday to pour wine on shit.)
YET…I STILL HAVE that ‘niggly’ feeling with me. I still have it now?
I’m literally having the most amazing time, dipped in ’30 something’ year old fun, glamourosity and life. I’m single, but i’m crushing, and i’m whole heartedly delighted that we’ve strapped all other festivities under our belts and we’re now getting armed in sequins and getting our ‘shimmie’ on into Christmas.
My absolute favourite time of year!
(And not just because I have a December birthday! Hint Hint! No wonder i’m mental, if I was birthed during a time, when penguins sang songs about reindeers, whilst wrapped in tinsel, by elves, who worship a dude with a giant white beard and have an after work mulled wine!)
It’s just a great time of year, where nothing but tinsel and celebrations matter. Cocktails are poured. Events are a plenty. Cuddles and laughter, meander around cosy city streets & hearts are filled with love, MORE than they are broken at Christmas. You can choose to stay in, or choose to play out. Either way, it is always sweet rum drizzled and delightful!
Memories are made during this time of year.
Memories are also treasured….because we all kinda grab our lip gloss, after a Bailey’s…or look through our ‘ye olde’ phone pics and remember. Your favourite tune will play on the radio, just as you had it in your head. You’ll walk past a restaurant, that will remind you of some guy, or some girl, you once dated. Someone will totter past you in a hurry, in a busy shopping centre and they’ll smell just like the crush, you’ve always wanted to score. Memories are great. They’re not there to dwell on though. Don’t get caught up with memories, until it’s time. Until you’re old and ready. Until you’ve done your absolute back in and you can’t possibly dash, in your glitter heels to ‘Tattu’ on time, for a ‘smokey cocktail’ without feeling the pain.
Until then…just live.
Just LIVE and don’t apologise for doing so.
Guy friend: ‘See, Wunna! It’s THIS shit that makes you beautiful. The tits and all the rest of it, come second fiddle to all this shit.’
Me: ‘I thought you said you loved my boobs?’
Guy Friend: ‘Fucking hell. Haha. Take a compliment.’
Something great will happen to us all, which will make our kitten soul’s beam, before we wave off 2018. Something will also make us cry. But that’s life and that’s why it’s wonderful.
We’re given a story to create. A life to live…and if nothing else, we are giving the opportunity to FEEL. For 10 years this year, i’ve written CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM. It actually started 14 years ago, on Myspace. All I’ll have at the end of the day, as i’m swaying to Britney in my rocking chair, are my memories.
Go get what you want. Don’t let anything, especially fear stop you. You might not win. Yet if you don’t try, you won’t have lived. That’s what we’re here to do.
Don’t get it twisted.
(I can’t believe i’m writing this in a play area. Haha.)
It doesn’t matter whether you spend it with good friends, family, boyfriends, girlfriends, the people you shouldn’t be playing around with, lovers, old spirits, new crushes or with your next door neighbours cat?
You’ve only got 2 more months LEFT on 2018, so make sure you LIVE IT. Make sure you enjoy it. Do what makes you happy. Find you inner life love and make the end of this year (which has had it’s ups and downs for everyone)WORTH IT.
Create magical moments.
You’re here for a good time, not a long time.
Over the last week, i’ve probably done everything. I’ve cocktailed with old friends, which found me sharing fireworks with them, as we cheered on our favourites on Strictly, discussed my tragic love life and enjoyed time with family, over wine.
Helen: ‘You’re just so pretty.’
Me: ‘Aww! That’s sweet. But everything is literally pinned, sewn or glued on. I mean, let’s face it, you couldn’t put me through the wash, could you!
Gina: ‘I fucking love you… ‘
I’ve talked to strangers, with cucumber drinks at The Botanist, Leeds. (I love The Botanist, Leeds, because it’s so hidden away and freshly cosy. ) Inspired people at Restaurant Bar & Grill. I’ve whizzed and whirled and eaten pear salads, with a fruity umbrella drink in my hand and with my own laughter filling the rooms. I’ve shopped. I’ve loved. I told Matt Goss, that he’s my celeb crush. He pretty much liked it 😉 which made my heart swoon. Lol.
I’ve been a great soul, an even better Mum. But most of all, loved telling you my story. (Your questions have been amazing.)
I don’t know what happens to me in the end. I just know it’s something wonderful.
I don’t ask for much. I just ask for peace. (And the man of my dreams to share life with me. I have everything else, I need.)
Everyone keeps going on about how single I am because it’s apparently so unbelievable?
‘How the hell are you…’
‘How are you, even nearly single..’
I certainly am, and I certainly don’t know why? Haha.
Firmonnell (My chick best friend) : ‘She’s single by choice!’
If I had the answer, I wouldn’t be strutting around with a neon ‘Going Solo’ arrow above my head, would I? I’d be building my white pickett, rum stained fence, to Disney classics.
If you’re a 30 something singleton too. Don’t worry! I hear so many of you worry!
The worrying alone is not seductive. Lol. It’s awkward. It’s thumb twiddly.
In this day, being a single 30 something year old woman (I’m 37,) three marriages down, doesn’t make you rubbishy, like no one wants you. To me, it makes you powerful because you now KNOW what you want and instead of standing at the side of the dance hall, waiting for some guy to ask you to boogie, you’re confident enough to just make your OWN fun, with your gent of choice and leave the party whenever you wish.
I’ve never been so chased by boys in my life, than I have in my 30’s. That’s the honest truth and it’s because i’m much more wiser, comfortable and THAT ALONE IS HOT. It’s sexy. I know how I want to feel. I know how I want to look. I know what will make me happy.
Be interested in yourself and others will take interest in you. Give people something of value and they will jump on board. (My LA balcony buddy taught me that, over balcony tea….as we walked the drummer from Maroon Five, do life, through a window. He was our ‘across the way’ neighbour. He once lifted me back into my condo, when passed out drunk, as a gaggle of gay men surrounded me…not to help, but to perv on my hot laywer roommate. Lol
I was in a lime green fedora. Haha. That’s all I remember. I love West Hollywood nights. I got into a state outside ‘The Abbey’ in West Hollywood because Ryan, my crush didn’t love me. (Turns out he secretly did, but treated me badly because he had a girlfriend?)
Ry: ‘I was crazy about you. I didn’t know what to do? So I made a weak decision because i’m a pussy.’
His last name is ‘March.’ I have it tattooed on my right inner arm. J
Friend: ‘You two were going on dates and everything! How fucking weird!!!’
But that was years ago….and at the time it was shit! However now, it’s a fond, funny memory.
Time is like magic….It’s certainly precious, so you should use it to your advantage. Yet at the same time, let it fly, because it heals things without you realizing. 😉
I guess, everything is just about balance….and cocktails.
I’m looking for love. After a lifetime of lust, life, fun, dates, mistakes, love, true love, marriage, divorce, flings, happiness and heartache…I’m still here, stood tall, (I’m only 5 ft 3,) with a smile on my face, telling you, that I’m excited for what Cupid might have in store for me in the future…
Cupid and I have not been mates. Lol.
We’ve been on a journey. Yet, the thing about ups, downs and journey’s is that in the end, you buddy up. You ‘buddy up’ because, even though you chose a bumpy path and disagreed all the way through it, you tackled the ‘bumpiness’ together. It brings you closer, than you expected.
Only good can come from a bit of ‘bumpiness.’
Therefore, my faith is Cupid is always close.
One day, he’ll *wink* and shoot an arrow straight through, with my ‘soulmate’ as his target. 😉
ALWAYS BELIEVE IN LOVE.
Always, BELIEVE in love.
At the end of the day, my love life may not read ‘paper perfect,’ but it’s real. It’s my story My fairytale. I’ve learnt everything the hard way, but LEARNING and discovering IS everything.
Today, I asked you, to ask ME questions about love, dating and relationships, on my Insta Story…and let me tell you, i’ve adored every single second of it. I actually couldn’t appreciate it more and with 47 more questions, still waiting to be answered, as I blog this ‘sassy bit of wordy‘ from a wine bar, I wanted to let you know that you’re making me feel ALIVE. 😉
The love part of our lives, is such a BIG part isn’t it. Even when we push it back to the very far parts of our mind and or fold it into a box for storage, it’s still a HUGE part of our lives always. It’s all we have. Life itself and the love we embrace within our time.
A really successful guy…Well… You’ll know him on here for being ‘The Swirl.’ I remember being sat on an Ipswich sofa with him one time and he uttered the words…
‘I guess, i’m going to be alone forever…’
I don’t know why I remember it? But I do. That’s the opposite to what I want. I mean, I’m independent. I’m cheeky. I’m sassy. I don’t want to compromise my heart. I’d rather be a happy singleton than be with the wrong guy.
YET, I’d hate to be alone forever. I’d hate to not have a best friend to share my life with, in the end.
I mean, i’d be alright. But it wouldn’t be my favourite.
Chick friend: ‘Chrissie, guys aren’t going to use you for sex forever. One day, some guy is gonna look at you, with fresh puppy dog eyes and know that if he didn’t have you by his side for a lifetime, he’d be foolish.’
Me: ‘It’s not about the use me for sex thing. I’m a big girl. I love sex. I just can’t seem to find Mr.Right anywhere. Or the guys that I usually have down as potential Mr. Rights, don’t give a shit.’
So, this is what i’m looking for….
I am looking for a thoughtful, romantic, sexy, loving gentleman, who is fun, naughty, a bit cheeky and real. I want him to be my best friend. I want us to do lots together. Discover life together. LIVE. Adore each other. Have lots of hot sex everywhere. Haha.
It honestly can’t be that hard!!! Lol.
Why am I finding it SO difficult?
Chick friend: ‘You’re ambitious in the guy stakes. You know what you want and you go for it. In that time, no one measures up to what you’re going for.’
But like I said today, i’m a confident girl, so I have no problem letting a guy know I fancy him. Men need a ‘green light’ as I call it. I grew up in LA and in LA, the girls are brimming with confidence. It’s a sexy trait,
However, I will ‘green light’ and ‘bat the ball’ into their court and it’s up to them, from that point onward. I leave it to them, because nothing is less sexy, than having to chase a guy.
I enjoy it when they chase, it makes me feel like a woman.
They can choose to leave it, or chase it…
That way, it gives both parties, the power. It’s equal.
What I wanted to say today, was to ensure all you other singletons, be you young, old, rich or poor…whatever walk f life you’v elived or come from….
It’s going to be okay.
Don’t stress. Just enjoy.
I mean, I know so many people who take on new love excitement with doubt and fear.
What could be worse!
Life shows you someone fanciable. You like them…but then you think of 101 reasons as to why, it can’t or won’t work.
It’s foolish of you.
I know, from 37 years so far, that in life, in love…
ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.
Be brave. Take it a day at a time. At your own pace…AND JUST FUCKING EMBRACE AND ENJOY IT.
If i can still stand here with all the hope in my heart, as happy as can be, after everything i’ve been through, all over the world…(my hearts broken in almost every continent, lol) then you can tooooo!
No one’s gonna fancy ya if ya miserable.
Cheer up. Flow with the punches..and just let life magic, take it’s course.
I believe in fate, magic and life….
For some reason, I haven’t meant to meet ‘my forever’ just yet, but I will and when i do, after everything that’s tinkered my way in life…this time, i’ll be ready. 😉
Life is great right now. Everything seems to be slotting itself into the right place 😉 and even though i’m wishing for even MORE amazing times to come, i’m not feeling foolish enough to forget that right now, I’ve got it pretty good.
Yesterday, I got you all to ask me questions on ‘sex,’ on my Insta Story and you excelled yourselves. My story hadn’t been viewed as much in donkies years. Lol. But yes, sex is a big part of my 37 year old world, so I really loved answering your questions, simply because I think it still has a bit gummy ‘TABOO’ label, slapped upon it, when it comes to openly chitter chatter.
I’m a cocktailing Glamour Puss. If I know about anything, I know about ‘whisky sour’ dripped sexy time.
(All was going well, until some sexual therapist woman, decided to hate on me.)
There’s plenty of room for everyone, so don’t try and elbow me out the way. I hate giving direct advice, because I don’t agree with telling other humans HOW to live. All I do is share and I do it by telling MY OWN story and letting people ‘take’ or ‘leave’ anything they want from what the hear.
Anything inspiring comes from MY OWN life experience and emotion and not from from a dusty old ‘Refer to Paragraph A’ textbook.
That’s a polite and glamourous way of saying…
FUCK OFF. 🙂
I’ve loved Halloween, but i’m glad it’s over. I might even light a few sparklers and get Bonfire night out the way, simply to hurry it up to my favourite time of year….
I’m a December born baby. I have a birthday on the 19th and this year is extra special because i celebrate..
10 years of CHRISSIEWUNNA.COM
I actually hit 10 whole years, earlier in the year. I think March? But I didn’t want to celebrate being ace, in March. 😉 Instead, I wanted to give myself a big old ‘pat’ on the tequila back ON my ACTUAL birthday…so i’m gunna!
Wiggle.Wink. Hip Bump.
I was gonna throw a big old party, but I decided not to…Instead I’m gonna do it my own way..and you’ll find that out shortly. 😉
Strap in, Dollies.
(Wait, I feel like I need another 11.38am wine. Except it’s now 12.40, so I’m all cool and appropriate.)
It’s lil’ Sam Reece’s birthday today. He’s turned twenty six and it’s great. I’ve loved our paths crossing this year & our hungover Sunday morning snapchat banters.
He’s certainly the sexiest twenty six year old my eyes have ever seen, so I felt the need to post this pic everywhere. 😉 It’s a beautiful piece of art.
Ladies of the world, you can ‘thank’ me later.
(Oh God. I’m sat in at The Mallard in Doncaster blogging. I always choose the quiet ‘away from absolutely everyone’ corner, but it’s got really busy. A grandma, is out with her grandson and is looking at me every three seconds. She’s doing that thing where her Grandson says or does something impressive, & wants me to acknowledge it also. Hahah. I feel under pressure to perform. Lol)
This is not what I signed up for. Haha.
Now dudes are hounding my Facebook messenger and sending me photos of their genitalia. I don’t mind a dick pic AT ALL, if I know, and fancy the guy. I think it’s hot. It’s sexy.
Yet, I don’t like dick pics from strangers, at all. It’s just not sexy and not because i feel disrespected. Just because I’m not sexually excited by anyone, until they’ve managed to mentally stimulate me.
Flirt with my mind. Get in my pants. Simples. Haha.
Grandma’s. Dick pics. AND I have a tractor in my hand bag. I just can’t cope. Lol.
WHAT IS MY LIFE!!
Chick friend: ‘Can you not eat a chicken wing, like you’re giving it head please. It’s a family pub.’
Me: ‘And don’t I fucking know it! Hahaha.’
Right, I’m answering your questions on love & dating today. I’m moderately distracted because there is MADNESS going on around me. Lol.
I keep lifting my phone in the air and pouting to film by answers for you. People keep looking at me, like i’m strange.
I’ll give’em that.
HOWEVER, I do actually think that THESE DAYS, it is PERFECTLY acceptable to selfie take or film for your instagram in public. You’re almost behind the times, if you don’t believe that and frown upon those who do?
Head to my Insta Story and ask me a question on love, dating and relationships. ( @chrissiewunna.)
Halloween was just amazing. It was a wild piece of escapism, that every piece of ‘chica’ needs. The host I chose was Tom Zanetti…and as always, he did his city proud. He’s like the ‘Diddy’ of Leeds, who’s slowly, but surely taking over ALL cities & it’s great to see him going from strength, to strength. His ‘hustle’ has been grand and he absolutely deserves all the wonderful things that are happening to him right now. He works hard, he loves hard and he’s ambitious. But his heart is always in the right place.
Me: ‘Hi! It’s me. Can I come in? ;)’
Amy: ‘It’s Chrissie. It’s fine. All the way up!’
(Amy’s hot! She’s Zanetti’s PA. I told you on the last blog. I love her. She’s sassy!)
Right, so I was up in VIP, at Aspire, Leeds… which is an old untouched bank, that has been refurbished for events.
I was kinda already merry by this point, as I walked up the stairs and through the VIP entrance. I passed security, through all the calm and squinted through the bright lighting.
I was greeted at the entrance and then as I stepped forward, I entered a world of darkness, mood lighting and sophisticated madness.
It was beautiful.
So, I like to get to parties earlier, rather than later, these days? I don’t know why? But after the life I lived in LA and the age I am now, I kinda just like to *tinkle* up for a couple hours, have fun and disappear back home or to my hotel, before all the UTTER MADNESS begins.
If i’m not there when the madness is occurring, I won’t get into trouble. 😉
I’m not a stay out until 3am kinda kitten, anymore. There’s bed sheets to snuggle in or soil (lol) by then. I like my beauty sleep. I’m wild, but sensible, all at the same time…and if i’m being honest, I kinda like it that way.
I also love a guy, who loves to go out and have a bit of fun, (i’m naturally social,) but then go home for a bit of ‘grown up’ sexy time.
Or as we used to call it in LA, a ‘throw down.’ 😉
Wine was poured, guys we’re masked and *winking* from their tables, slutty clowns, saxophone players, haunted swimsuit models, illusionists, magicians, reality tv stars, sportsmen and all sorts filled the VIP area.
The VIP was ‘Heaven’ high, on a Mezzanine and looked over the crowd, as they filtered in and celebrated their version of Halloween.
There was a sexy calmness to the VIP and an utter hellish madness that went on down below. Hell was filled with a young crowd that had surrendered to a ‘good time’ in the name of Zanetti.
It was perfect…
..and the awesome thing about a ‘Zanetti‘ party is that all freedom occurs. However like the ‘Vegas Code,‘ it stays as a ‘sexy whisper.‘ You’re protected by life, in the name of ‘good times.’
There’s a sophisticated, high end, ‘gangsta’ vibe.
I remember everything being so full, so fast and a delicious tipsy *blur.* I was filled with wine and a girl, who was dressed as a sexy clown girl, kept giving me her card, and talking to me about life…She was wonderful and I adored her. She talked to me ‘drenched in fun’ madly. Then she told me her name was ‘Emerald.’
Me: ‘Is that your real name or a stage name..’
Emerald: ‘No, it’s my actual real name.’
Me: ‘I love that. It’s sexy.’
She was with a sexy ‘Catwoman,‘ and I couldn’t think of better company really. Lol. If you’re gonna go anywhere, take a sexy Catwoman with you.
I sauntered off to my own version of life and watch my surroundings.
Everyone was messaging me. My inbox was jammed. I even snapchatted with ‘T Bone,’ in New Zealand, and that made me smile, because…. Well…because….
Then as I stood over the balcony, filming Insta videos of myself, I looked to my left and saw Tom, with Hayley.
They’d just arrived…It was still early on in the night.
(He was in VIP watching the crowd filter in.)
So I walked over to say ‘Hello’ properly and take appropriate selfies. Lol.
Tom was quite the gentleman. He looked smart. He looked very GQ and dapper. Hayley was as sweet as pie. She beamed, with the cutest smile and was so lovely to me. She is literally BEAUTIFUL & together they were stunning.
You’d think they’re stunning anyway, right? But UNTIL, you meet them both together , even when they’re ‘on show, ‘ it’s only then when you realize just how magnetic they are.
I loved them.
The main thing that got me, was just how smitten they were. They were each other’s world and radiated an absolute genuine ‘soul mate’ love for one another. It was kinda like they were destined to take on life together.
I love that in couples.
They’re both fun by nature. Yet, they looked young and innocent, yet sexy. There’s real depth to their relationship.
The were definitely destined to meet and i’m sure he treats her like a Queen….which I adore.
They left to quickly fit in ‘date night’ drinks at Tattu, before the party got going and when they got backed, they were drunk, happy, in love and wild.
Zanetti, does the Paris Hilton thing, where you show up early and make sure all is running smoothly, before coming back and making a real entrance, once everything kicks off.
Paris: ‘Always arrive at a party when it starts getting wild and leave before everyone else does.’
Bottom line, I couldn’t even see by the end of the night. I was sauntering around, drunk, tired, but glorious.
I walked back to my hotel early and got back in by midnight.
IT WAS FREEZING.
I definitely stripped down naked, but left all my Devil make up on…Haha…then sent a naughty video. 😉
I certainly woke up worst for wear….with a meeting that I had to get ready for at noon and a hang over.
What a night! What a time! I’m talking about Saturday. It’s now Tuesday, and i’ve only just pulled myself together. If there was living and then there was L.I.V.I.N.G…this Halloween…I smashed it.
Right! Let’s go…
I have been the busiest kitten in all of the glitzy land and it’s not as easy on the old body, as it was when I was 20 something in Hollywood. That’s the truth. Yet, I’m so lucky. I’m enjoying it thoroughly and something tells me that I’m much BETTER at being a 30 something, than any other decade. It kinda suits me well, because i’m tougher now. I was even tough then. I was a confident , yet wild 20 something, moulded by LA life, as I tinkered a career in entertainment. I went through an awful lot. It hasn’t been easy.
That was the first time around…Things happened after that!
This time around I’m NOT 21, i’m 37. I’m wiser, I’ve learnt and things are always better, the second time around.
You take a better shot, because your soul is filled with the correct ingredients. Your life experience radiates and powers over and people open doors for you, with more respect and utter grace. I don’t just mean this in work, but also when it comes to love. Your second shot, is always much stronger, because you’re adjusted yourself and you know what you’re dealing with.
(I actually told a guy called ‘Nathan’ that things were better the second time around, as I ate a spinach and pear salad, whilst hungover at Gino’s, in Leeds. My favourite salad ever. I love salads with pears in. I love that I can walk into Gino’s and be treated with absolute love by the staff. I love that I can simply state that i’m so hungover and without me uttering another word, they baby me and know exactly what I need…Lol)
Anyway. I don’t know how old, ‘Nathan’ was, but I reckon around fifty? He’d run a massive business, that set him in the high money stakes. Then he *ballsed* it all up, by going wild, leaving his wife and spending all this money, before almost going bankrupt.
He randomly told me that this was his second time around. (I don’t even know him at all?) But I assured him, that if he concentrated, and wanted it more than anything, y’know, did everything the right way….he would smash it.
Me: ‘It’ll be even bigger the next time around…’
It’s how life works. It’s not about what happens, it’s about the kinda human you are and how you handle that ‘what.’
Things are changing for me and it’s a really wonderful feeling. I’m steady away and i’m doing okay. I’m not in a race for success. I love my present and i’m enjoying my time. I’ve got a long way to go. But I don’t look over my shoulder to see what or how everyone else is doing? I just stay focused on my own world, my own version of life and i’ll ‘hit’ my goals, when i’m meant to… Y’know, when life cuts me some slack. 😉
It’s important to refrain from comparing your current chapter to someone’s else’s chapter.
Anything can happen at any time! I’ve watched it and lived it.
Mum: ‘Career first, Chrissie. You can have anything or anyone you want, afterward. Don’t get distracted. I believe in you.’
I’d sailed off a very busy week of meetings, work and bustle. I was exhausted. I hadn’t been sleeping much. My mind wouldn’t let me. Last week, I met so many people. In fact that week, I did so SO much, that it kinda all feels like a blur.
I was still excited for the weekend though!
I woke up and the babies, ‘Ruby & Junior’ jumped on me in bed, with laughter and cuddles. They were bursting with joy! We made OUR Saturday morning, all about Ackworth Garden Centre, because they wanted to go fancy dress Pumpkin Carving, with Peppa Pig. and Mummy.
It was wonderful. It was wonderful because I TREASURE family time. I’m a real family girl, even though I have an independent soul. The moment I saw their faces light up with excitement, my heart was sold. I’m a softy. I love making people happy. It fills me with glee. I’m so proud of them. I’m so proud of how well they’re doing.
They’re literally my world.
We giggled. We carved. We did Halloween. It’s times like that, when I love being a single mum. When there’s just us…doing life, because no idiots can distract us. Our bond is too strong. We’re so close. Nothing else matters when we’re together as a team.
But oh my gosh, I am so properly SHIT at carving pumpkins, because IN LIFE, i’m not good at the niggly tasks, the little tedious bits, that you’d usually hire someone to do or have a husband for. Lol. I know that sounded LAME. But I am. I don’t have the patience for the niggly bits. Haha. Yet, on THAT day, I don’t know what happened to me? I did! I got on with it, because I was motivated by love. (It’s the key to success… 😉 )
Jenna: ‘Look at Wunna…’
Me: ‘I can’t do this sober. It’s like wrapping presents on Christmas Eve, you need to be tipsy.’
Let’s say, it was an achievement.
We had the most amazing family time…and that’s what I love about my life right now. It’s feels pretty balanced.
I actually feel like a really decent human and it’s so hard on me at times, when people (as in guys,) forget to see how lovely the ‘whole picture’ is and not just how great I might be in the ‘sack.’ I’d really appreciate a man, who appreciated me for the ‘whole picture,’ they don’t come around that often in my world…and i’m not saying that I don’t get attention. We all know I do.
But, every single time I look at a guy, after he makes his move and smoozes on in, I always think that he’s ONLY after one thing…and potentially nothing else…because that’s what always happens to me. I don’t think many guys have proved to me, that I’m more than JUST THAT.
Don’t get me wrong, i’m a grown up girl. I love sex. I’m single. I’m okay. I’m happy. I do hope to find my one. I say that all the time. Yet, I don’t want to comprise my heart, or sell myself short . So being sexy and naughty and flirting is great! It’s part of being a grown up and certainly part of being a single 30 something. It’s hot and i’m sensual by nature.
I love it.
It’s sexy and I love a bit of ‘filth.’ Yet, if nothing more develops from it, other than ‘nookie’…and because i’m a girl, I kinda just think that it was ALL, a waste of my time?
Men don’t like to tell me or show me that I could be more to them than that….
I never know why?
Anyway, back to the story….
Where were we…Oh Yeah…PUMPKINS… *Deep Breath*
I will tell you that, the last time I carved a pumpkin, was over a decade ago. It’s not my forte. It never has been. The last time it happened, was out of force.
I was pissed, in West Hollywood, doing Tequila shots, dressed as a Playboy bunny, by a dining table. What I learnt is that, you should never ever carve pumpkins, stone cold sober, if you are a glamour puss. (And when I say ‘Glamour Puss’, I don’t mean a chick, who just wears too much lippy. It’s more of a manner than a look, to me.) Do remember to ALWAYS add tequila. Pumpkin carving is harder than you think…until you put ya back into it.
I actually loved every minute. It made my babies smile. They just looked up at me, and wee’d themselves laughing, whilst shaking their heads, as I struggled in my ‘Little Mistress’ faux fur…
Ruby: ‘Look at Mum trying to cut out pumpkin eyes. She needs a wine. Haha…..’
Then we walked over to ‘Ego,’(I’m actually blogging from ‘Ego’ now with a wine,) for pasta, salmon dill fishcakes and mocktails, before I grabbed all my stuff, tried on my Ann Summers Devil’s outfit, sipped a quick ‘get ready’ vino, kissed the babies ‘good bye.’
I then *blinked* and found myself on the train to Leeds City Centre.
I checked into Park Plaza…
I love checking into Park Plaza, simply because it’s easy, styish, comfy and SO WELL LOCATED. Nothing’s a bother. Plus, you can’t really beat being *slap bang* in the middle of the city centre. It’s a ‘dolly’ strut distance from EVERYTHING. It’s in the most perfect spot. I’ve stayed there a lot. I always try to stay there when I need to
I don’t know whether it’s just me? But I LOVE that moment when you check into a hotel, get through all the pleasantries..
Reception: ‘Good Afternoon, Miss Wunna….You’re on the 14th floor..’
Man at bar: ‘Hi, how are you? You’re stunning. Where are you goingtonight?’
… and then you finally *whoosh* yourself up to the 14th floor, slide in, shut the door, turn on the lights, turn on the tunes and BOOM! BLISS! You’re there! You’re done….You chill and sip your wine, in peace. (But then Insta Story, the hell out of it all. Haha.)
Within moments of hair doing, face doing and wine sipping… I was here…
I felt so alive. I felt so fun. I usually hate Halloween. But this year I was excited. I don’t know why I was excited? It’s something that I don’t bother celebrating often. I was just in a really good mood. So after a couple facetime calls, I was out!
(Well technically, I had to go find Aaron &Stephen the Paps, because they couldn’t find parking and didn’t know exactly where they were, for the Zanetti bash.)
Steve: ‘The Sat Nav, says it’s literally just around the corner…’
Aaron: ‘We’re parked outside this building…It says GVA on it?’
(Sends me a picture.)
So, being me, I walked up to find them…within the city streets of Leeds, at night…dressed in my slutty devils outfits…in stockings & horns. Haha.
Dude: ‘Are you not scared?’
Me: ‘No. I’ve lived. I’m not scared of a 2 minute walk, dressed like this. I’m more concerned that i’m COLD. I hate the cold. Lol’
I don’t think i’ve ever got hit on as much in my life!!??!
And the sad thing was, I was strutting through the streets, with my head held high, like I didn’t even know I was dressed like a slutty devil. I was like Beyonce….but shitter.
The funny thing was that, when I got into the lift on the 14th floor, it stopped at the 10th. The doors open and a poor handsome guy, who was waiting to jump in, must have got the shock of his flipping life.
Imagine your lift doors opening and I’M THERE, laughing, dressed as Devil, with all my boobs pouring out and with a sequinned pokey stick, tapping against my thigh!
Guy: ‘I can’t tell whether this is real or a prank? Lol’
Me: ‘I’m so sorry. Haha. Don’t feel awkward. It’s real.’
Guy: ‘No. No. I don’t feel awkward. You look beautiful! Where we going? Hell?’
Guy: ‘Honestly….Where you off?’
Me: ‘Just some party. I’m actually going to find my friends..’
Guy: ‘What you doing afterward?’
Me: ‘I’m going to sleep…’
(This was our convo from the 10th floor to reception, in our lift.)
Anyway, I managed to find ‘The Boys,’ Aaron & Steve, snuggled warm in their Audi, on King Street. (A life of a pap is certainly rewarding, but must so hard. It was a freezing cold night and to think that they had travelled from city to city, having to wrap up warm like lil’ snuggly bears, to take pictures of celebs, whilst being stood outside in the cold for hours… is not easy.)
But they do it and they don’t even moan. Plus, it must be shit having me sat in the back of your car, poking you with a Devil’s stick, and moaning because I want booze.
They got ready to shoot, I stepped into a bar named ‘Box,’ just on the corner. I’ve never been there before, but fire eaters where outside and I knew that Tattu & Blackhouse wouldn’t let me in in Fancy Dress…so I headed in and it was fun.
It was actually filled with loads of people who were headed to Zanetti’s Halloween party…I ordered a wine, talked to a clown, Catwoman told me she thought I was ‘stunning’ then this business man, from down south, hit on me…and tried to make me stay with him for the night…
Me: ‘I’m going next door now..’
Guy: ‘What time are you done? Can I not give you my number. Call me afterward…’
Me: ‘I’ve godda go…’
I show up at Aspire, which is where the ‘Zanetti/Sleepin is Cheatin’ night was being held. I check in with the boys…who were waiting outside, freezing cold, but camera ready…
Security are lovely to me, Amy (Zanetti’s PA) showed me straight in, a wrist band was strapped on me and I was guided upstairs to the VIP.