Woke up this morning in a white nighty, curled up in my soft white sheets, with the Yorkshire day light breezing through my boudoir and my Black Berry demanding my attention. I reach over to my right, as it rang a calypso melody at me. I looked to see how my day of lurve would begin and who was it? (I hear you cry.) Yep, it was my little Jonny (@jonathanctaylor) who was eager to deliver his sweet words of love. It went a little like this:
You dirty little slag. U evil little bitch… i’m gonna grab you by your dirty little weave and sling you around like a little slag, you loser!! (Hahaha….) I responded with a giggle, then a ‘ Happy Valentines Day to you too, my little honey pie.’ Then i told him that i loved it when he talked dirty to me.
I know you may be a ‘
shimmie‘ bit alarmed by this, however let me let you know that, this is simply how we tell each other we care! Hahaha….We have a deliciously random sense of humour, infact SClub Junior Jay, shares the same funny bone also. Our friendship, is one of the closest in all of the land, and is built on us ripping each other to shreds via the fine art of maliciously evil sarcasm. All we do is take the piss out of each other, when we adore each other the most. Yet when we are verbally attacked by a drunken stranger, we turn into a tag team and well…you won’t win that fight. I can be lovely…but i have the feist in me. You don’t want to add vodka to that ‘feist.’ I become deliciously ‘danger dnager.’ Then we had hair wars. I told him to pull his fist out of his arse and we ended it on a ‘I love you…now do one.’ (I hope you’ve all called your friends today to tell them you care. It’s the day of love and something tells me that more people are depressed it this year, than ever before. HAHAHA! Not I however, i celebrate this day, like my life depends on it. It kinda does in an odd way! I’m a viscious bunny of ‘lurve’ with an occassional foul mouth and a sexy disposition. (Hottie reputation much!) I’m loving every minute of it so far. I’m having fun fun fun…and yeah it might currently be by myself (woohoo…tragic) but I’m the Kitty Kat of play. There’s no getting me down. The good times..i celebrate. The bad times….make a great blog. It’s a win win for me, all the way. I LOVE my life. Totally had a champagne brunch. INNIT bitches!
On a bizarrer note, i did then realize, after i hung up the phone to little Jonny (@jonathanctaylor) who was trailing in from a night out… that i was laid in bed, half starkers, all haggard and surrounded by an intense amount of balloonage. I had balloons galore, all red and plumpy, (i prefer pink & silver) covering my whole entire bedroom air. They had nothing to do with Valentines day and again had ‘Congratulations’ scrawled upon them. (‘Yay…you made it to another day!’) Luckily, i had a half open bottle of vino under my bed, so i swigged it and saw the words ‘second choice’ printed on the inside of my quilt. Thanks for that Cupid. You bitch.
However, i will tell you that being the Ultimate Glamour Puss, does have it’s perks, as it means that regardless (and on any day of lurve,) you are luckily inundated with cards, prezzies, messages, booze and flowers from a delicious bundly bunch of ‘people who care’ who you don’t actually know. I LOVE this part of my life, being the Attention Whore that i am. Therefore spent the next hour openning everything sent to me by Wunna Fans, and reading through my cards and loving every waking second of it. (It all went to my head, don’t you worry.) But i actually really apprecited. I mean, I recieved funny cards, deeply sentimental ones, ones that would suggest a cutesy shyness and ofcourse the dirty ones. Made me *giggle.* I have just been asked ‘What do you get the girl that has everything?’ The answer is… MORE!!
My mum walked in (I am currently still up north for the week before i go back down to London) and shook her head at me with a smirk that would make me believe i could quite possibly be tragic. But i loved all the declarations of lurve. I thank anyone who takes the time to send me anything really. And well, if you’re not going to recieve anything from anyone who truely cares…you might as well wallow gleefully in fan mail. WOOHOO!!! 🙂
I’m about to make a cuppa tea, and watch a wedding happen from my bedroom window, in the neighbours garden. I should pop over, but my outfit is rather distasteful. ‘You’re married, now lets mambo.’ I do actually walk around my home dressed like the Queen of sheeba. I enjoy it thoroughly. However, i WILL be telling you all about my Liverpool date in a bit. I had to wait it out for a moment, because i was *swooning* on Cloud 9. Therefore in order to save face, i needed to feel a little more grounded before i rambled on about it. (As that could be embarrassing.) I now have my feet a little further on the ground therefore i can report it deliciously for you.
Yet first, this little Pussy needs TEA! *Kissy-Kissy-Wink-Hip bump.*
ps/ This new hair extention thing is proving to be difficult. OMG. How hard is it to look after!!! I have ridiculously long hair and every moment it’s getting tangled. My hair is mirroring my LIFE!! I now am refusing to go anywhere, without a gaggle of gays armed with hair brushes…who will delight in brushing their way through it 24 hours a day. I intend to pay them via the fine art of ‘slaps.’ It really does work! 😉
Happy Valentines Day. I love you all.