Starbucks Nipples & Hand Jobs?

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So there i’ve been, working away and neglecting you all a tiny little bit, due to normal daily work duties and Mummyhood, dashed with a side cocktails..and what have you done? You’ve all Googled the most randomest shit and found chrissiewunna.com.

Today, the top search via Google, which directed traffic, people and hungry eyes to my blog was ‘Starbucks Nipples?’ WTF? I mean, I love Starbucks and I have nipples…(luckily not beef burger ones) yet I can’t imagine what kind of random coffee porn you were all trying to find. I mean, it’s not even that mucky. It’s just odd. Probably how you got here really. It’s a blog for the misfits, the jollies and the doo daahs!.

Fair enough, ‘Chrissie Wunna’ was the second top search. But i can’t even begin to dare tell you what some of the other ‘searches’ were, yet the last one was ‘Hand job.’ At least it ended on a ‘happy.’ *Wiggle, wink.*

But yes, well done. I don’t care how you find this blog, just well done for going with it and stopping by. *Do wine here.*

Lots has been going on. Work is great. The lash line is coming on strong. I’ve drank lots. I’ve mummied lots. I’ve been social and I’ve been talking to a boy. I KNOW…major step forward much. Yes, i’m a talker. I talk. Yet, without me even realizing, but totally even realizing ๐Ÿ˜‰ i’ve found myself waking up in the morning and chatting on the phone to a being and as soon as i’ve clocked off work for the day, picking up my phone, or answering my phone to the same being, until bed. I KNOW! Sooo, this is good. Right? And how? Simply by accident and totally via Twitter. That’s how it’s started. And it isn’t weird, or pervy, or bizarre. Its actually really (lol) refreshing, hilarious and completely natural. We’ve chatted about literally EVERYTHING. Big things. Small things. Wordy things. Family. Work. Life. Nonsense. Cracked up and been moody. The lot. And I know it must be sort of good ๐Ÿ™‚ simply because it’s still going…AND i’m being secretive about it, in a non sort of secretive way. Like i’m not actually telling you too much about it…i’m just myself, watching, chatting, observing, but most of all enjoying. Watch this space. I’m totally crushing on him right now…If i knew him properly….i’d love him. (That’s just how i roll. HAHAH. Like a leaf off a tree.)

I still hate my feet. The guy that wants to be my slave has done ‘sad face’ emoji’s at me, stating that it would surely be HIS choice, if he wanted to spoil me. I guess that’s true. But i was just being nice to him. I mean ‘jeeze’ lol. I once had a guy come up to me in a gay bar in London, when i lived there (in London that is and not the Gay bar) and he kept being my ‘slave’ all night. I didn’t find it fun at all. I actually found it really boring and mildy difficult to tell him what to do all the time. I mean, he wouldn’t even sip his drink UNLESS I TOLD HIM TO. It got tedious. In the end i ordered this random man who decided to become my gay slave….to simply go home. Then some douche grabbed me on the dance floor…without my consent (i’m sure he was on pills) and started throwing me through the air, as part of his dance routine to The Saturdays. UGH! (People always see me and want to pick me up.)

Anyway, I’m still not talking to Keiran, the children are happy, still normal (thank the Lord) and loving life, i’m being social, I’m working hard every day and my lash line is doing great!

Lots of you, (as in girls) are sending me messages about your stale love lives right now and well all I can say to you is to not stress. Boys will be boys and if they adore you and want you, THEY WILL CHASE YOU, SHOW YOU AND GET YOU. If they don’t…they’re not that bothered, or insecure about the pull. Neither is interesting. So, girls, it is BEST that you turn your frown upside down and get happy..quick. Boys don’t want to even bone miserable chicks, let alone ‘do forever’ with ones that act crazy before they’ve even decided to date you. (Save the ‘crazy’ for later..like a surprise. ๐Ÿ™‚ ) Stay cool, stay calm, know you’re worth, be CONFIDENT that you are wonderful and enjoy yourself. Focus of you. They will come if they adore you.

I’m naturally quite confident. Naturally playful…a bit of a clown, yet loving, silly and smart. I work hard. I know that any guy would be lucky to have me. But really…i do and I embrace that feeling. ย :)I mean, i wish more of you girls would feel that way, as ย i promise you, that GUYS actually do LOVE THAT in women. They DO. They really really do! Be independent, confident and fun. Yet be lovely, and still a girl. BE YOU. No matter what kind of guy you date, I always feel as though men, ย want to take care of the girl who wins their heart…It’s their natural instinct. And i don’t mean BUY YOU THINGS, before you all start. LOL. I mean, stand by you and nurture you. Cheer lead you on. Care for you. Treat you. Romance you. I’ve been married hundreds of times (Oops..’i’m not a player, I just crush a lot ๐Ÿ™‚ ) ย and dated loads of great guys, rubbish guys, just guys…all over the world and if i can still stand up tall and be able to be giddy about love, than you can! PULL yourselves together, slip into something a wee bit ‘kitten’ and enjoy being everything that makes you YOU.

PLUS, let’s not get it twisted, here. Love isn’t simply based upon the way you look. (I know, this is stuff you know already, yet sometimes we’ve just got to be reminded.) It’s all about how ace you are ๐Ÿ™‚ and how great your connection is with the person you desire. Love is about heart. It’s not money, fame, stature, age or lust. It’s about friendship, that bond, yes a physical attraction, as you’ve got to have good sex :)…family…as they become your family…but mainly heart, energy and that ever so important connection. If you have that connection…then your sailing with nipple tassles on. (That’s a good thing by the way. ๐Ÿ™‚ )

Anyway, i’m off to work. It’s Friday and no one’s stressed on Friday. We’re headed into the weekend and baby it feels gooooooooooooooood.

Love you.

Thanks for following my life…You’ve actually done it for ages. ๐Ÿ˜‰

 

 

 

 

 

 

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