Shopping, Tanning, Football and Dates

Hey My Dandy Little Dumplings of Deliciousness!

Okay, i’m shopping for the majority of the day, whilst keeping my beady eye on the Man U/Arsenal match as i sample lip glosses. I’m under the misconception that i’m their hottest fan, so i have to keep my lips a kissable in order for a Man U victory. I’m in a bit of a rush, and i had zero sleep last night. The Ewoks are killing me. They squeal all night, in two hour intervals for attention. I can’t handle it. Finally, i got up, mrahced downstairs in the early hours of the morning, did a TEQUILA shot and figured ‘fuck it.’ If you can’t beat them, join them. So i sat with the Ewoks, with my Tequila, and let them listen to the soothing sounds of Gangsta rap, which surprisingly sent them to sleep. (They might actually be dead?)

I have a meeting with an Elizabeth Arden counter today, who will attack me with an army of make up brushes, tweezers, lotions, and bronzers. I’m not sure why they’re doing it? Yet they asked me to let me ‘instore’ model their new tan makeup range. I like this, as everyone gets to watch me. Which is always quite wonderful for anyone with a tragically serious case of ‘Attention Whore’ syndrome.I guess people will see me go from tan to tan…which isn’t much of a show now is it?? However, i think i’m supposed to litter the quiet moments with humourous inappropriate gags…which will make people giggle, delve deep in their purses and believe that they too need the new super tan bronzer, in order to be as ‘ooh laa’ as I??? Either way, i love it!! God, i’m knackered. I’m actually in need of a little pampering. (Fucking Ewoks!) I’m currently trying to type and sign pictures of me to mail to fans in Canada, whilst drinking my cuppa tea, practising spanish and slapping a dwarf.

All i have left to say is there’s nothing like a Tequila shot to keep the cha cha ‘cha-chinging’ and with an ‘I miss you baby’ from ‘Dreamboat,’ he scores a second date with The Wunna. We’re both busy this afternoon, so tonight it is ON!! Let the GAMES begin!!!

5 thoughts on “Shopping, Tanning, Football and Dates”

  1. have a good day i hope man u win u get nice make up and u have a blinding date i hope the ewoks are ok and like tequila if u ever need an ewok sitter iam your man treacle

    Reply

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