Afternoon, my darling suckles of honey drip! I’m on a day off, so i’m managing to get my blog on and well there’s not that many days of ‘offage’ these days, meaning that even though i’m shattered…i’m thoroughly grateful to be able to have a ‘do what i want,’ day!
Life has got BUSY, really busy and i’m actually rubbish at being busy because it seems that i am completely unable to be rushed off my kitten feet without being an absolute stress head. AND the worst thing about me being filled with agonizing stress, is the simple fact that i do that merry ‘bottling it inside’ act, behind the most charming giggle and painted on Estee lauder, glossed smile, like i’m some champion at life and can can kicks! Unfortunately, like everyone else on this planet, i’m human. Devastating to realize actually, but fuck it…let’s celebrate, stress with a zing! (Code for BOOZE.) I’ve missed free sparkling wine at Boots, to celebrate some beauty thing? (Sorry Hayley.) Yet, i’ve managed to partially chill a wee bit, by enjoying a quick shopping morning with Ruby, who hasn’t been able to have her ‘Mummy/Ruby’ treat day in ages, due to work. (I do ‘one on one’ days with the babies…simply because there’s two of them and just me. It makes them both feel important, without them having to always wrestle for a bit of ‘look at me.’ Well…that’s the way my theory goes and like my marriages….it’s never that simple.)
But yes, Rubes did her whole ‘Build a bear’ routine, baby chino’s, book store….and all this other stuff before her ‘tired now’ tantrum. I managed to do the one thing that I wanted, that was on my ‘me’ list and that was to purchase a new handbag. It’s all i needed to do really and simply because my other one smelt like wedding puke. Girls…don’t be sick in your own handbag EVER! I luckily managed to puke in my mum’s car, but some vomit got in my OWN handbag. Cleaned it out. Still stinks of puke. Can’t bare it whatsoever and hate the fact that ever time i click open my bag, a snake charmer whiff of puke meanders it’s way upward…which gets embarrassing in public because people either think you’re mucky, smelly…or a drunk. Got a new ‘everyday’ handbag. You do not even KNOW how happy this makes me!
Rubes sauntered into ‘Build a bear’ today, grabbed a giant My Little Pony bear, like it was some kind of everyday routine of hers. She wasn’t unhappy, but she didn’t even smile. She rocked it, like she knew the score. She didn’t even want the chick to do the whole shambam. She just wanted the bear stuffed and quickly, so she could get on with her day.
INFRONT of us, was a little girl, who had hardly managed a trip to the store and I could tell because her Grandma was purchasing her bear as a very special treat for her birthday and her Mummy couldn’t even believe her eyes. It as sweet. Infact, lovely. To be honest, ‘Mummy’ seemed to love it more than the little girl. And well, it sort of made me wonder? Am i spoiling my children? Or am I just giving them what they want, simply because i’ve worked hard enough to be able to purchase overpriced off teddies, whenever they wish? In my mind, i’m only doing what my parents did with me….and well i still understand the value of money and my parents performed it on a much larger scale. Even to this day! I mean, i just got a FREE CAR! A good free car. My parents always told me as a child that i got what i wanted and was extremely lucky, simply because they worked really really hard to provide such a life for me and that there was no reason to ever apologise for it, because ANYONE can work really hard to get to where they want to be. It’s the people who choose not to, that don’t and then moan about how little they can afford. They always gave me the ‘we started with nothing’ speech…and ‘ended up being able to afford to send our children to private schools, fund their lives in Hollywood 🙂 and give them everything they wanted.’ Apparently, i’ll get to where i want to be eventually and i do believe that. Yet for the first time in ages…it’s like I’m actually doing well, in all departments!! So, history repeats itself… and i’m glad it flipping does! I guess, the thing i should focus on, is the simple fact that today, during that ‘Build a bear’ moment, EVERYONE was happy. BOTH little girls…be it a treat or a routine, we’re happy AND ALL adults…. be it an every week spend, or a one off ‘saved up the pennies,’ we’re dandy. Sometimes things ain’t that deep, right? 🙂
I’m meant to be doing ‘Beauty school’ now, but Mummy/Ruby day is taking precedence. Plus, i’m knackered. Junior is doing the not wanting to sleep on his own’ thing. So, i’m up through the night, ready for a full days work. 🙂 I’ve also got to fit in a call to Zach in America and just organize eyelash line stuff. It’s freaking me out because i’m getting scared and i’m getting scared because i don’t want it to flop. So, i have to push really really hard to get it to the some kind of success level. Time is sort of running out, as Christmas is approaching. But i’m not telling you an exact launch date yet, simply because then YOU’LL plonk me on a timer and well i’ll feel under super dooper pressure, to perform. I think i need massage therapists and monks to follow me around at all times to keep me all calm, before i ‘hit’ PANIC. Panic is awful for me because i drink shit loads of wine, become messy, upset and get really bad psoriasis on my face, which i have already! It’s all over and delicious. Love having a sore, itchy face. It’s ace! Really doesn’t at all look like i have scabies. FML. I’m glad, I shot earlier for my eyelash line ads, as right now…it’d look like some gutter girl, trying to sell you mucky hankies. (Have no idea what that means? I just had a flash back of some old Hollywood, plastic surgery gone wrong on her face lady, back in the day, who was selling her stuff on the sidewalk in LA. It looked like she had once been married to a rich bloke, who she only married because he was rich and well he must have left her, to shrivel up…alone. Which is quite sad, as it must have hurt her heart. However, sympathy over as she tried to sell me USED, red, lace knickers..ON THE STREET! This was in WEST HOLLYWOOD too, so it wasn’t even a scruffy area. SHE wasn’t even scruffy, She was more ‘worn’ and if i hate anything, i hate seeing women who were maybe once lovely, turn ‘worn.’ And i’m not even really speaking of her outward appearance. Her soul had died. 🙂 It had been fully rung out and probably by strangers, pills, yet mostly men. She even tried to sell Barbie dolls with NO HEADS ON! FFs.)
Okay, had loads to tell you, but forgot it all now. 🙂
I’ll blog later. I’m off to do glitter and art with Rubes before she shouts at me. 😉