She hurt my head oh Mama…


Today…it’s my DAY OFF!! Hurrah! I managed to sail straight into it, with a breeze and wink and a crawl around my bedroom floor madly as my second piece of loin fruit ‘Junior’ refused to partake in his nappy change, this morning. I was in leopard print pyjamas, no face and drag queen hair, Ruby was trying to learn the ‘foggy part’ of Rudolph the red nose reindeer and Junior was POWER CRAWLING away from me, weaving around bed corners, boxes and tuffets, at what seemed like the speed of light, simply to resist a change of nappy.

So, yeah, it began madly.

Luckily, it got better.

I’ve just got home and well today was the day where I drove my pretty arse over to Doncaster, beautified and glamour pussed at the salon (got my weave taken out, my hair dyed and did) and then with the help of my ‘Mini Me’ Ruby, we lunched at Zest and I pretty much did ALL of my Christmas shopping in one giant swoop of a ‘whoosh’ around the Frenchgate centre. That pace didn’t know what hit it. Plus, people were judging me whilst I was purchasing. I mean, it kinda seemed like I was buying a lot, and I guess I was…but i had to fit it all into ONE DAY, so that’s why it seemed a bit much. Mums and families were glaring at me and my white faux fur like I was some kind of cheery bitch festival, who spoiled her children. But firstly…once again…I only had one day, the rest i shall do online. Secondly, i work really hard, so if i wanna buy my children’s affection for Christmas 🙂 I FLIPPING WILL! Obviously with the day job and business, they haven’t had much quality time with Mummy. I work to make lots of money and eventually build the empire that I envisage…and for them, so they never have to go without. I know where i’m going and what i’m doing in life. I’m not lost. But if i can’t spend ‘made money’ on them for Christmas, then when can I!!! I don’t even get the credit for it. Santa fricking does. 🙂 And do you know what else is weird…Ruby doesn’t even believe in Santa and i have no idea why? I asked her and all she said was, ‘Well, i’ve been to see him loads and it’s just a man, a different man in a red suit, every time I go. They’re just puppets mum.’ Lol She’s waay to clever for this shit.

But yes, i’m feeling glammy. My hair is restored to it’s natural blackness :), my baggy weave has been cut out. Wazza is winking like he has a cunning plan and has also revamped my blog. My LASHES ARE ON SALE, so buy them and other than needing  a tan, i’ve pretty much done all of my Christmas shopping. I’m some glitzy fricking heels!! (I bought myself Jimmy Choos for my birthday, which is now in only 8 days folks! Incase you’re wanting to send me gifts. 🙂 )

My current favourite driving song is the ‘T.I.N.A’ song by Fuse ODG, Feat. Angel

and well…it just plonks me in that happy mood, like you feel when you get excited about life. Like when you’ve passed that big old exam, achieved something massive, getting ready for a night out that you deserve or like, when you’ve just fallen for someone that couldn’t be more perfect for you. That happy flutter feeling. This song does that to me, right now.  Rubes and i boogie to it under our living room lamp for kicks and shimmie to it, whilst i’m driving.

Now, i’m getting a whole load  of messages from you in regards to love and boys and life. I kinda wish they were more about Lashes (haha…it’s going well by the way) but as open as I am and as straight forward as I can be…I can’t tell you what to really do in love and I mean, it might seem that i’m so clued up on men, (you think that because you see them as fancying me) but really….look at my track record. HAHAHA. I’m just the girl and i get super nervous, excited and insecure like all of you do, when you meet a new boy, want to revamp an old boy..or whatever else you’re doing. I look for love, i’m picky, but i hope that a guy will one day adore me, the way i wish for in my heart. It’s not soppy…it’s normal. I’m expressive. I love, love. But i think girls get more panicky about it all than anything and  well if a guy likes you, he likes you and you kind a have to trust that he does like you, without him having to declare it nonstop, reply text you every minute and well…if he has said he wants you….he probably does. If he’s ventured off…he’ll return. You know boys are like. And i know being patient is shitty when you’re a chick and you’re young and dying for love. But the good men will fight for you and make you there’s no matter what. The ones that make no effort, either don’t care as much as you want them too, or are simply the ones that will regret it later. I mean, even if he’s been hurt in the past or and his heart his closed off. If he likes you, he’ll feel his heart open up with excitement for you and he’ll go for it. 🙂

The best advice ever given to me, was by a guy that I shared a balcony with in my condo in West Hollywood. We’d meet on a morning, in the LA sun for tea and cigarettes and he’d talk to me about life. I love talks on life…aside from the cliched mumbo jumbo. I can smell boring bullshit a mile off. My radar is good for it…even if it looks like  i’m entertained. (I’m a people pleaser at the end of the day . 🙂 )

But yes, he said, that instead of panicking, just focus on being interested in YOURSELF, when you are…you are full of life and at your best. Men dig chicks in that position. (Oh er…:) ) Milkshake? Yard? Watch them bring! 🙂

Now, i’m not gonna lie to you and pretend that i don’t panic. Fuck it, I do, i went through a tough last year and first part of this year., I definitely have abandonment issues now. HAHA. So, if i like a boy, i’ll panic. BUT, i rarely ever like a boy, I’m not that flirty with the masses. I don’t really spread myself too thinly. I just skim and usually shake my head with an ‘ah well…’ or pick one and once i’ve picked one..that’s it…he’s it. It’s like some crazy love tig.

I’m more focused than I am wishy washy, so i know what i want when it comes to EVERYTHING, not just boys. But yes, i want a guy to be HEAD OVER HEELS in love with me, when he falls for me and we shouldn’t as women sell ourselves short. Pick Mr, Right. Don’t just hope any or every guy will love you a little. I’ve always been this way..and i remember having a convo back in 2010, with Kat, who died after doing the Paris Hilton show with me. She never understood how I didn’t fancy anyone, or didn’t think anyone was right for me. But when i did…i went for it. She was dying for love and from anyone…it hurt her in the end…Remember that. I’m not the girl you have a fling with. It just seems that way. I’m the real deal. Hence why i’ve been married…lots. I believe in that. And i wish more YOUNG GIRLS knew their own worth.

So chill, enjoy life and if the guy loves you, likes you, or wants you to be his…he will come get you. It’s their natural boy instinct. Even if they’re shy. I mean, by all means ‘green light’ them…don’t act like you don’t like them if you do. But let them come, if they want to, that’s the man’s job. And if they don’t…they’re loss. But i guarantee the good men always follow through. It’s all about trust.

That’s enough of being love doctor.

Buy my lashes please.. 🙂

8 days to go until it’s my birthday!!










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