Morning Sweeties! I feel amazing today, fully charged, fighting fit and loving my Lady Lumps. I’m prepping for two auditions that i have coming up…that i intend to try and book. However, for right now i’m slacking off and blogging to my bitches as it’s exactly what i’m not supposed to be doing. (I currently have Craig davids ‘7 days’ playing in the background, so i’m getting rather distracted by melody. Great song! ‘) I’ve also got to read all of my blog, in order to give my best ‘cuts’ to ‘BAFTA’ so he can shimmie shake it and turn it into something quite amazing. But all is actually going well! Two thumbs up! Oh and for those of you who are analysing me (which i dont mind at all, as i love hearing other peoples take on who, why and what i am??) I only love it, because it’s ALL about ME. I don’t actually agreee with what most people come up with (except Phil Garcia- Celebrity astrologer) as they always get it wrong. There’s no inner pain, no inner hurt, i’ve had a wonderful life and i’m gonna continue to do so. It’s not so hard to believe. Not everyone has some tragic story. I’m HAPPY…so deal. It’s not that deep. Just because YOU might be hurting on the inside, doesn’t mean that i am. I mean i’m sorry that you are. Yet, I’m here to brighten your life up a little, make you think outside the box, take you on a moonlit adventure, open your minds, prise at your hearts to the magic and wisdom of the ‘ooh laa’ and make you realise that what you have isn’t so bad after all. Even if it means, making you believe my life is so terrible. Cheer the hell up! Life is AMAZING! (God that was a fucking mouthful, but it tastes better than most. I hate man gunge in my mouth. I NEVER swallow. I mean i use to when i was young and foolish and listenning to boys, but now that i’m GREATNESS and still a bit foolish…no way in HELL!)
This time two years ago (and i was reminded of this last night) i was piggy back racing Drag Queens in Hollywood, down the streets of WEHO, in the darkest of night, that seemed to be lit up my fairy lights and magical auras. I was dressed as a slutty fairy, it was warm and i was throwing Skittles through the air, whilst calling my Drag Queen ‘FAT’ because she wouldn’t run fast enough. I kept whipping her with red liquorice sticks and telling her she needed to ‘eat more salad’ or have a ‘DIET FUCKING ROCKSTAR!!’ I did feel bad, as she was actually trying her hardest to please. She was treating me like a ‘Queen.’ But i didn’t feel too bad, because in the end she turned on me and started cussing me out…(You don’t want a Drag Queen to get mad at you, because they’re actually men and WILL duff you up. They turn all BUTCH in 4 seconds flat! She was unfortunately giant sized and trying to fight me. But i was already attached to her back…like a wide eyed, ‘a bit drunk on Tequila’ monkey, with Pig tail bunches. I shouldn’t of really called her ‘Worthless’ as it triggered a weird anger in her. Hahaha! (Sorry, Chrissie is currently pissing herself and is unable to write…)
Anyway whilst She was trying to fight me…while i was attached to her back and holding her burgundy wig incase i needed to go ‘Thug style’ and pull it off. A bouncer of the club i was meant to be in, simply found me, prised me off her ‘now sweaty’ back ( I had Drag Queen sweat all down my front,) and fireman carried me (not the first time) back into the V.I.P lounge. My friends were like, ‘Where have you been?’ I just remember sipping a malibu pineapple and then cold faced lying.
Hope you create a good day today. I’ve godda get back to work. Tell me what you did?