Morning my darlings! I’m about to grab some essentials and start my day of shopping. Well, morning of shopping? Anyway, a friend of mine is desparately wanting a ‘Louis Vuitton’ bag. I, being the selfish grump, yet cleverly decorated in glitter, glamour puss that i am…am refusing to buy her one. Don’t get me wrong, i’m quite the Queen of generousity, yet designer handbags, don’t come into my ‘must help someone by buying….’ list. I don’t class it as an essential. It’s like a boyfriend…you just have one.
Anyway, ‘friend’ is not happy with me, and is threatenning to purchase this bag of ‘Louis Vuitton-ness’ online, and SECOND hand!! I’m not so keen on used goods, as i feel like they’re not really mine, and dusted over with other peoples adventures…which are never as great as i want them to be. (Well…MINE!!) So as she’s ‘click glancing’ a jumble of ‘Louis Buitton’ bags, i decide to explain that it’s a sin to ‘online purchase’ a bag. The whole enjoyment is in the ‘going to the store, seeing, feeling, and fitting’ experience. (Oh shit wait, my aunty’s on my answer phone. She’s hilarious, as she always sounds like she’s just downed a bottle of vodka, and a paddle of ‘uppers’ before making the call….she’s not my real aunty, but i think she thinks she is???)
…i’m back. Okay, now my previous story is boringly shit!! I just told my Aunt, that’s she not my REAL Aunt…i don’t think she took it well!! I’ll keep it short. Anyway, I tell ‘friend’ that she can’t buy a ‘Pre-loved’ Louis Vuitton bag. (Note; this ‘friend’ should have ultimate respect for me, as i’ve got her drunk and laid in sooooo many of the worst hell holes..all over this giant world!!) Then instead of doing the smart thing and agreeing…. she has the cheeky McCheek to turn around, and say: ‘Why??? Everyone fucking loves you, and you’re PRE-Loved by EVERYONE!!!’
We are still in hysterical fits over this…you know you have a great friend when you can point and directly call them a ‘SLUT,’ over a ‘designer handbag’ issue!!! I love my friends. I can’t wait to get famous, so i can get NEW ones.