Now, i’m the pretty peek of the girliest of girls. I love diamonds, and makeup and chick flicks and pink. I’m told I put the ‘P’ in Puss and the ‘Amour’ in Glamour. However, on the flip side and mainly because i grew up around a bundle of boys, i really am quite masculine. I have a boys sense of humour, i grew up being a bit of a Hollywood girl Player, i drink like a boy, banter like a boy, and well…like a boy, i’ve just got out of the biggest play fight known to mankind. Now, I enjoy a play fight and think it’s always better when you’re a girl, as the ‘PLAY’ in the word ‘PIayfight’ is far more exercised at these times. I’m a smart girl, anytime i can wrestle with an angry boy for fun, i will. (‘Oops, my bra pinged off. My piglets are all over the place! Oh no, don’t soft punch me, and lay me on my back.’) LOL.
Anyway, one of my guy friends, who calls me ‘Moose,’ sexily saunters into a room, where i am aimlessly Bimbo-ing about, watching flowers grow & learning my A B C’s and he sort of had an ‘evil’ in his eyes. I can spot an ‘evil’ a mile away. It’s almost like an instant connection of spicey fire. (*boom*) He swaggers up, i’m in my best knickers, frilly skirt and t-shirt. He punches me in the arm. I do a pathetically fake girly *scream* He beats my boobies like bongos…then we fight. Don’t fucking touch my tits. I bought these fuckers!
OMG, it was hilarious. We we’re rolling all over a room wrestling, kicking, biting, punching, hair pulling, laughing, thumbing and squeezing each others faces…with ‘Gilmore girls’ on in the background. His weapon against me was licking. I hate being licked on my face. EWW!!!! He tried to use the ‘feel up,’ but um bitch please…i’m immune to a ‘feel up’ by a stranger. I tried to use a ‘Karate Chop to the neck.’ Yet realized i have zero strength anywhere in my body. All i am is a viscious tongue. Therefore i had to resort to using the power of the ‘make out,’ where you turn fighting into ‘kissing/sex against their will.’ Haha…raised well! It’s fun, it’ s like rape. Whenever i’d puckered up, he’d punch me and squeeze my face. HHAHA! (He has emotional issues, that’s why it works! He, for one moment will think you might actually want him and when he does, you knee him in the balls and reject him with laughter.)
Anyway, we had a blast and well i had to force him to leave, because tonight i have a dinner date. There’s only so much wrestling a Glamour Puss can do, without there being sex at the end of it and you needing a lip gloss touch up and to be in better lighting.
My Black Berry rang mid, being dragged across the floor by my ‘weave‘ and stomped on, to Beyonce and it was Mr.Date. It was funny because both of us immediately innocently *paused* our fight, so i could sound like a civilised human being, who likes champagne. There was no need for any prompting either. ‘Mr.Date’ asked me what i was doing, because he was at work or something? (Eww..work. Lol) I replied with a very innocent ‘Oh hey yeah, i’m just getting ready and chilling before dinner later.It’ll be fun.’ KNOW that my guy friend, was still attached to my hair…infact holding it, like i was a pony. Infact, i was half laid on the floor mid phone convo.
Then i did actually realize i had to get ready and getting ready for me isn’t just slip on dress, it’s actually DYING my hair the right shade of black and making sure my skin is the correct shade of caramel. (Orange.) Then contemplating extentions and having my nails done for me…because i find it messy. I like everything to be extented. The bigger the better approach is the Wunna way. MORE! MORE! MORE! Extended hair, extented nails, extended eyelashes, extented boobies. I love it! Gimme. Gimme.
Then, guy friend who i really should name ‘pack attack,’ says ‘Ugh, fuck i hate that ur going on a date. Now i’m gonna have to go back home and actually call my girlfriend.’ Haha! Awful bastard. I wouldn’t wanna date a guy who play fights with well boobied socilaites in his spare time. A lot of guys do that to me. They have girlfriends, but oddly just wanna spend loads of time with me. I don’t know who’s single and who’s not!! Then what do they do? They go home and tell their chick that i want them and want to steal them and won’t leave them alone. LOL. EVIL!! Then in pours the hate mail. HAHAHA.
I don’t know who wants me, who doesn’t, who’s just playing and who’s serious about me??? Therefore being the egotistical bratt that i am…i’m gonna go with YOU ALL DOOOOO!!! Hahaha….Ok, gonna go dye my hair. I have a luxury dinner tonighta! Personally, i don’t think boys spend a decent chunk of their time with girls they don’t fancy. They just don’t. They wouldn’t invest that much time in something. I know I wouldn’t… unless i wanted to have them in my life.