Resident Kitten Much!

I’m not too keen on the fact that someone has left a mop and a shovel outside my appartment door. I like neither, yet is it wrong for me to be more offended by the mop? I mean, i fill mop buckets with cigarette butts and broken hearts from yester-year. The fact that it suggests some kind of tedious menial un-glamour pussy behaviour, upsets me. I don’t even own a cute *mopping* outfit, which must therefore mean it is never, under any circumstances sexy! The shovel scares me…yet i can handle that. No-one’s burying me under the patio, without a fight. However, yes the mopping WILL kill me.

Incase you didn’t know, i’m in London right now. I arrived last night, went to bed by 10.30pm, woke up at 4am and was driven to the studio to do the ‘Early Bird’ show for ‘Tease Me TV’ from 5.30am to 10am. I’m really loving it. It’s a really fun job. I basically sit in a boudior, (well an ‘on the telly’ boudoir) in my zebra print, pink bowed nightie, stockings or corset, and i glamour puss around, taking calls from early rising, or dirty stop out ‘handsomes’ who want maybe don’t get to talk to (what society classes as ‘pretty’ girls) and therefore get to call me for a banter! A good, CLEAN, banter may i add. i don’t want you to at all get it confused with the nudie, *oops, i forgot my clothes-ooh yeah baby baby* talk. It’s no *Adlut* and well men can call me up and talk to me about their lives…and at the same time tell me how pretty i am! 🙂 (Yes, thankyou!!) It’s kind of like being an agony aunt….in stockings! I had frilly knick-knacks on today…and well they went down a treat! If i can do anything it’s wear nighties and chitter chatter! It’s funny because it reminds me of *Fan Phone*…yet the difference is…i get paid! *Wiggle-wink*

Anyway that wrapped up at 10am and i’m home now. Stephen, a cute little Irish gent, is the producer of the show, and he is simply a darling to me. he kinda looks like a young Matt Dillon (but a great deal sweeter.) The real Matt Dillon took me out for sushi and tried to dry hump him on his bed, whilst telling me he was a movie star and making out with me aggressively by his hotel fridge. Stephens a lot sweeter. He takes care of all of us girls and tells us he has a little willy with freckles on, just to make us smile! 🙂 I’m having a blast! It really is making my London time *happy.*

Yesterday i spent the daytime with Loverboy at Meadowhall, Sheffield.. We did lunch at a restuarant called ‘Coal.’ It’s sort of like a posh, mustard walled, steak house and mildy over priced. We had wine, we dipped bread in oil, we shared moments, love and tenderness. Then whilst i chewed on my big juicy sirloin merrily, like a happy chipmonk, with boobs.. Loverboy, told me how much he adores me (‘You ARE my Dream Girl. I love you,’) and how much he despises the cream spinach there! (‘That really is the wost thing i’ve eaten!’) Anyhow, both Pete and I are lucky to have grown up priviledged. (Yet we’re lovely wwith it. All sweet, generous and kind.)  Therefore we are liking the fact that we’re in a position where we can pretty much go anywhere we want, eat anywhere we want and just enjoy it, without having to worry about the prices. It really does take the strain off the relationship…and for once i have a boy that does not use me financially! It’s a huge weight off my shoulders and definitely pushes him up the love ladder of ‘ooh’ and into the position of ‘forever please.’

Right now we’re going through a lot, sort of in secret, during this month! We’ve never been so in love! To the point where we wouldn’t want to function properly without each other. He’s so romantic and so affectionate, and sooo completely reliable, that his love is the kind people search for their whole entire lives. I mean he gets teary eyes when he has to leave me, or when i have to work away! (Sorry, i keep getting distracted with boasting about how *magic* he is.) Anyway, yeah…we’re going through a lot right now, that could sort of solidify our union with a big rubber stamp of ‘DELICIOUS!’ So without going into it fully, i will tell you that inbetween moments of lunch, shopping and juice buying, i did have to keep going to the toilet, to have a peeky in my panties to see if my period has decided to make an appearance. Currently…and like Elvis…it has left the building! The ‘building’ being my body and the ‘left’ situation, being the ‘WHERE THE FUCK IS IT!’ 🙂 We’re in an excting ‘are we/aren’t we’ phase that really is glueing us together like marshmellowy squidey clumps of ‘yum yum.’ I kept telling him i had to keep looking in my knickers for signs. He claimed that he needs to keep looking in my knickers for sign also…[insert cheeky grin here.] I think he did a bit too much peeking in my panties already, hence why my period has pulled a Houdini! But you never know, i may just be a bit late!

When i was on the train to London yesterday, i was sat opposite a girl, a mousey haired girl, who was making tiny sequinned, fur, flowery bracelet bands out of ribbon and thread! How cute! I always try to be creative like that, once in a while. Yet after about 5 minutes, i get bored and end up with a cocktail in my hand and a *shimme* in my system! I can’t tend to things that take too long! They bore me. Anyway, there’s me, trying to work off any old hangover, sleeping opened mouth, in a starfish, with my legs actually up on the seats, on the actual train in heels..and next to me living a whole alternate life.. was a gentle lovely of an existance, sewing baby blue sequins on ribbon, on fur that she found delicious! I liked her. I mean, i didn’t say anything to her…but i did like her!

I got off the train with a flashback of  Pete dropping me off at the Frenchgate foodcourt elevator and having the doors slowly close on us, almost like in a movie whilst i was still uttering sweet sweet nothings..and thought now i’m actually here in London, i’m FINE!! I mean i’ve recently snipped a highly negative ‘someone’ out of my life, and there you go…now i feel great when i totter into the capital. That’s all it took. I have emotional ties with certain cities of the world. I’ve left baggage in each and everyone. I’ve fianlly found my *happy* place and trained myself to ditch unwanted baggage, without guilt! Although i come across as strong and ruthless, at times, i’m rather soft! Now, don’t get me wrong…it’s not the *weak* in me…because i’m far faaaar from that. It’s the love in me and this random ability i have to not judge and beable to forgive. (I get it from my Mother and used to sacrifice my own well being, to aid people in their tragic lives.) I truely care for everyone whole heartedly, but i’ve realized that in this world, not everyone is good. I don’t care too much about that. I know i am…and therefore, good things happen to me. I’m a happy playful soul an di’ve never been in a better position…and thats thanks to you. I mean i really do share my life with you, and each and everyone of you who send me a tweet, an email, a comment, a text…journey with me through my story!

Other than all that. I do have a lot onthis weekend and i’m excited. I’ve got research to do, meetings, book writing and all sorts of jiggery pokery! I’m currently in a cyber cafe (eww) in Camden, because i didn’t bring my laptop with me to London. I’m a Glamour Puss, allmy strength is in my *wink and Pout* and not really in my boney arms. I can’t carry things efficiently and after approximately 5 long minutes my laptop seems like an elephant! I can do many things, but i elephant carrying is not one of them. Plus, elephants hate me. i rode on around a park in Burma, whilst doing a ryal wave and all it wanted to do was destroy my life and throw me off into the arms of asian children with golden begging bowls!

I do love you very much and i will try and come here again. I just don’t want to look all odd and like a cyber pervert, who spends all their time in cafes, with their drippy priavtes and sweaty palms! *Eww factor* much! Why do i keep craving ginger beer?

Anyhow, I’ll now have to love you and leave you, as i have a shovel and mop to tend to. But I do THANK you for staying tuned. It’s the story of my life,Ii tells ya! A story where in which YOU…can truely join me! I adore you all, you delicious pieces of ‘ooh’ and i hope you have a Wunnaful day! I think a gentleman told me that i should coach the England football team with my tits today! *Wiggle-Wink-Kick it boys!*

Resident kitten….signing OUT! x


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