‘R’ is for Resolutions


I’m currently baby free and i’m NEVER baby free so i don’t even know what to do with myself! In fact, that’s a lie, the initial thing I did was actually have a sit down and an eat! An actual EAT, where i could sit down in peace and have whole mouthfuls that I could chew and swallow and enjoy, without having others to tend to first! SHOCK! I loved it! Then I just sat down for a second and watched telly…just for a second and with half a glass of wine…everything was peaceful, there was no background fighting, laughing or jiggery pokery…just me. JUST ME and all i did was enjoyed smiling and breathing without feeling on edge.

Now, don’t get me wrong because being a MUM is my favourite thing in the whole wide world, and without Ruby and Junior with me…my life would be worthless, my soul would be empty, i’d be like the hanging pinata, all coloured tissued to fuck…yet i’d be empty and hanging there after minors had beat the sweet crap out of me for kicks …

HOWEVER, having come off the BUSIEST WORKING CHRISTMAS of my life…where I enjoyed having THREE WHOLE DAYS OFF in a row, yet during those days I cooked for my family, made sure Christmas was MAGICAL for my children and ran a new business…it feels really good to just have a moment…a moment that’s about ME! And, you’d think in my life, by the way i talk, joke and manage it…that everything in it is about me..yet i’ll have you know that it is or has been ALWAYS, ALWAYS been about others. Therefore, when reading my list, realize that all the below NEVER EVER HAPPENS.

So, my new years resolutions are: 

To spoil myself and treat myself

To work my arse off, yet enjoy more of life itself

To date and not feel bad about dating

To love more (as i couldn’t laugh anymore)

To take a walk..every week (I don’t have time to do an everyday kinda walk)

To push my eyelash line, so it’s a massive success

To inspire someone young and talented and keep them on the right track in life

To get to know a new person every single day of 2015

So there you have it! Yippppee! How exciting! Hurrah! Champagne for everyone!

Hope you have great resolutions toooooooo! Notice how i didn’t give up anything on mine, and simply because it’s goes against my nature to give up on anything…even if it’s bad for me, it takes me a while. HAHA.

Right, so…other than that…there are some crazy folk in the world, Googling some crazy, crazy things and what’s even more disturbing is that those ‘crazy, crazy’ things are leading them to my flipping BLOG! HAHAHA. So, if you’re on my Facebook, you’ll know that ‘Big Titted Asian’ was a popular search after ‘Christina Wunna’ and ‘Chrissie Wunna,’ a couple days ago.

Yesterday…Oh and like ‘Big Titted Asian’ was the work of virginal Nuns (I don’t know why i placed ‘virginal’ infront of Nuns as surely that should go without saying…tells you something about how my mind works)…some actually found MY BLOG, by Googling, ‘girl tending her sheep, gets shagged by farmer.’

What the hell kind of Googling would lead you to chrissiewunna.com?? How is that related to me in anyway? It’s Porny…yeah? But it’s very specific and well my blog would’ve been a disappointment…which breaks my heart! Hahaha. (I’m remembering a friend of mine finding ‘horse porn’ in my LA roommates secret drawer. He was a lawyer, for some reason it humoured us. I’m the age he was…now. I don’t have a horse porn drawer.)

I’m humoured every day by the masses, hence why I feel as though i need to get to know new being everyday! I love people, I have a keen interest in their lives and I enjoy brining out an openess in them. I’m setting myself up for trouble. However, luckily i’m great at getting out of it. I’m blessed with charm..I mean boobs…i mean charm. *Wiggle, wink, pout, high heeled boots.*

Can you all just by lashes please, then i won’t feel so annoyed by my searches! Some girls get searches like ‘beauty’…’goddess’…’hot girl’….I get horny Farmers, who bonk sheep….ON A BUDGET! I’m the Kitty Queen of GLAM folks! I might be Yorkshire,with boobs, but it doesn’t mean i do farmyard porn. I hate farmyard animals. they scare me!!  I got chased and butted in my ‘goolies’ by a Billy Goat gruff once, on a school trip. I didn’t even tell anyone because I was so embarassed and in a bit of pain..so instead i shrugged it off…and ate the rest of my fresh orange, iced lolly.

Horrid things. Fucking Billy Goat GRuffs! I only brushed them on the Paris Hilton BBF show so i could win luxury…and I did. Hellooo Spa!

I need to go to a spa! Any boys wanting to date me…what a great idea!!! 🙂 🙂  I also love flowers…I LOVE FLOWERS. But they die, so then i hate them. 🙂 They sort of end up being temporary and something that you can’t truly treasure forever…and that’ no good, yet awesome for that moment of ‘ooooooh.’ (And i love moments.)

It’s funny because I know boys of all ages. I have young friends (because i’m young spirited,immature and childlike) and old friends (because i am actually old and more sensible)  and it’s weird because I see my young friends bringing in the New Year like plebs (hahaha) hurting in the morning like abusive fools of the night, wallowing through life, without a hope after buying chicks shots and hoping for a bonk. Then there’s my older guy friends…who have BEEN THERE and have instead, got their game right, they’ve put down their infancy card, their playstation control and their Stella and instead they’ve suited up, got their shit together, are working hard and are wining and dining the hell out of girls in order to find their life partner! (Ugh, i just got a flash back of this awful boy named Karim in LA, who I went on a date with. He was younger and foolish and I don’t just mean that because he was younger…I often date younger men…he was just a fool 🙂 and well when he decided that date two was going to be watching him play computer games with all his stupid guy friends…i simply stood up…walked to my car, as he chased me and begged me for love…and left. 🙂 ) I had just left a movie star, so to go on a date of such…drove me insane! HAHAHA. I mean, i can chill..i LOVE CHILL DATES and i always look for guys who do the wooing, and romance, but ones that I can also just hang out with in a onesize ..but i’m older and chattery, and i love to get to know people so watching boys play NFL on the computer all night bores me. Then the cheeky bastard tried to win my heart by offering me his body and asked if we could ‘film’ it! WTF!! ‘Miss California’ by Dante Thomas who I actually met later in life, when i was on ‘Nevermind The Buzzcocks.’ was playing in the background.


Anyway, enough about that…I can’t even remember what I wanted to tell you? I’m already feeling great about 2015. I’m in a happy place, so it feels like wonderful things are about you happen. You know when you just have that great gut instinct about life…i can feel good things on their way to me..and stronger than ever. I have an awesome gut instinct, because it also tells me when something isn’t quite right..whether i listen to it or not. I don’t play with fire as much now that i’m older, but I do like to do my own thing..i always TRY to see the best in people or a situation…if it’s what I want. Lol.

I had my big annual psychic reading the other day and well it was all majorly positive. My business is going to go well and my love life is going to go better then i expected. ‘He’s coming for you Chrissie and you can feel it.’ I CAN! I CAN! But then she said that she couldn’t tell if it was someone new or someone from my past, followed by ‘Who’s ‘K?’ Jeepers!

You know that today I talked to the tallest man I have ever spoken to in my life. Six ft three! (I have to type it out as m ‘number six’ on my keypad doesn’t work.) I’ve never had a conversation with anyone that tall before. It tickled me. I’m sure i’d come up to his belly button…even in heels! HAHA.

Away from that I gained a great bit of pass on knowledge for all of you, from a new acquaintance..they believe that everyone makes mistakes and it’s the direction they take AFTER making the mistakes, that define who they are as a being. How wonderful and well it’s something that I completely agree with! People often to things to people that are terrible, yet they’re still learning life their way and in their own time…Even though life is short…there’s  lot of life to live…so it’s pretty silly to think that beings never change or develop. They do. WE do. And often people need to balls things up a little in order to know what matters to them, what their life is worth and what they want.


I don’t have the babies? It all feels odd. Things aren’t easy when you’re a single parent of one, two or millions…especially if you’re a being who had a full time job, a business and wants to succeed in life…FOR THEM and for yourself. I will say that after the separation we had six months of fighting and six months of getting on cordially and now Keiran is quite helpful. He’ll do his best to be their for the children whenever he can. He often works away…as I struggle…and i do everything on my own…with my Mum. (Who also works and helps me with every inch of her sixty year old self. Bless her.) Pete is less helpful then Keiran, as he finds it hard to fit in work and Ruby. Hmm…? And he gets stroppy if he doesn’t get things his way, when he’s free, or on his terms…It’s sort of weird because they’ve changed roles…But I was never Peter’s wife and that is probably why, there’s a different bond, Yet nonetheless we all get along. Sort of. 🙂 ) I’ll probably have a wine and weep. HAHA.

Thank you for checking into my life…





Chrissie x








Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.