Queen of Greatness

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I’m missing the days where i would have to get carried home over some ‘Hero’s’ shoulder, like a glamourously, delicious drunk and thrown onto a nearby sofa, like a slaggy raggy doll, with a blanket launched over my head for safety..However, don’t fret my pretties, as tonight i believe it will be one of those nights. Christmas is proving to be an exquist time of merriment, where you rise…you drink…you have lunch…you drink…you throw on a frock…you drink…then ofcourse you flippin’ go out DRINKING! Woohoo! Life is magical. I’m living it and enjoying the warmth and ‘ooh laa’ of the spirit that this season brings. Everyone’s loving each other and giving out cuddles. Were all puckering up and wrapping gifts and well really i don’t think i could be happier. (Well after that next bottle of Pink champagne, i’ll be happier…I’m loving being home. It’s all fun, posh and mad.)

Anyway, my darling of a friend, i’ll call her ‘Frump,’ is throwing a Christmas house party tonight, and ofcourse i’m excited, as i love a bit of the old ‘fun- fun-wiggle.’ But i ventured over there, earlier this afternoon, to check on her arangements. I had to make sure it was exquist. I’m the Kitty Queen of party..I can throw them like no other. It’s a gift, i tells ya. I was blessed with the ability to throw a fine shindig and the reason is because i’ve partied all over the world..done the best of them and the worst of them, therefore i know what works. I’ve earnt my title. Din’t I stay up for 24 hours partying!!! YEAH I DID!! Did Hilton not hail me ‘Party Queen,’ YEAH she did!!  I win that title. Let me win something for fuck sakes. 🙂

Okay so we got into a fight. A big one. Hahaha…’Frumps’ always fight with ‘Pusses.’ I believe because we terrify them. But at the end of the day every ‘Frump’ has a ‘Puss’ in them. But no ‘Puss’ wants a ‘Frump’ in them. EVER!!! I think she said, ‘Chrissie it’s Christmas NOT THE FUCKING Grammy’s.’ (Exactly where she’s going wrong much! More is more! I love excess, luxury and glamour. I like the finer things in life and i want others to enjoy that too.) But whatever, i won…and re bought all her booze, her gift bags, her food, her decor, her entertainment, her EVERYTHING. I gave it a bit of pizazz…and even re-picked her outfit. (Hahaha..) Now, i’m excited to turn up to her ‘changed by me’ party and luckily we’ve made up. I mean ‘Frump‘ was only nervous because she was under the misconception that she couldn’t pull it off. I was mildly disgusted when she turned around and said, ‘I’m not YOU. I can’t DO this like you can!!’ (They’re were even tears!!!)

I kinda looked her up and down, *shock faced* at her and then politely told her that even though i was a deliciously imperfect Glamour Puss, (Trophy please) there is a WUNNA IN EVERYONE. It’s that daring, cheeky, spirit of confidence you get when you feel ontop of the world. Everyone has it in them, they’re just a bit scared to show it. It’s those moments when you’re all alone and no-ones watching and you’re performing your Wembley Arena Tour to your mirror image, or practising your supermodel pout, or saying the things you never dare to.. out loud, or when you’ve just scored the boy or girl of your dreams, when you’ve done nothing but secretly think about them for a year straight. That moment when you feel like a CHAMPION. I feel like that ALL THE TIME. And i celebrate it IN THE OPEN. I mean, behind closed doors, i’m dead boring. I sit at home knitting and colour co-ordinating my mothers knickers. (*u wish*)

Canada called me a ‘Glamour Pussing, Party, Power house,’ a ‘someone to look out for in the future.’ I’m making my mark…make sure you make yours too. It’s almost a new year, a new chapter and there really is room for everyone. It’s not a race, but merely a celebration of your life and your talent. YOU CAN do this!! Keep it ‘OOoooh Laaa.’ Keep it sexy and the rest will fall into place. All you have to do, is BELIEVE it will.

I love you very much x

 

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