Ponty Massive, Love & New Rules


It’s Sunday. I’ve lunched. I’ve enjoyed family time and gin with tonic galore and now i’m doing a whole bunch of washing and getting ready for work tomorrow stuff. I’ve been incredibly exhausted this weekend, but it’s self inflicted, so i’ll not bother boring you with my old ‘blah blah.’ HOWEVER, today (and because I have an ace Mum) i managed to firstly FINALLY catch up on my sleep, simply by taking a two hour nap, which truly made all the difference. I also managed to FINALLY book my massage..the one i’ve been meaning to book for weeks now. (It seems that I also put the stuff that i won’t benefit from (apart from work) ahead of the things that are good for me.) I’VE FINALLY looked through forest cabins and will be taking a trip there in June. AND Keiran and I aren’t fighting anymore. He did the baby drop off Saturday morning and well he hadn’t gotten to see me for an entire month, nor had he been able to speak to me, as I had refused to answer any of his calls and made him deal with all baby issues via my Mother. That’s the longest he’s ever gone without being able to contact me, see me or hear from me. Saturday he dropped the babies off and he wasn’t odd, he was okay. We’re weren’t odd…we were okay. I mean, he tried to give me a mini lecture on how going out ‘runs you down’ and how I shouldn’t do it and how i should concentrate on family, home life and..whatever else he was chatting… Hmm….? Rewind….

Yet, I smiled and simply pointed out that he wasn’t really sat in the kinda throne to be giving me a lecture on that subject. He lost the plot WHEN IT MATTERED. I’m free and single and now working harder than ever. I can enjoy life a bit more now that I have everything in line. There’s a lot on my plate, with the eyelash brand, the babies, work is busy and i’m trying to keep a decent social life steady. But i’m grateful for it. I’m doing it on my own and doing it brilliantly. But we were fine with the conversation. I mean it wasn’t even fighty. It was okay. AND most importantly…we loved the children. But on the whole we’re good at getting back to being ‘okay.’ Even if it’s ‘eventually.’ And ‘okay’ is a good place, when raising children. Even though I’m the one raising them.

SO, Friday night I decided to meet up with Ben for drinks. He’s a friend of mine, we have the same buddies and well…in Pontefract, we all know each other somehow? If we had our own ‘Only way’ it wouldn’t ever need to get scripted, as shit just happens in Pontefract. We live drama, yet in not so much orange, glittery or fakery. Only I do that…hence why most people around here find me odd. 🙂

But yes… before I went out, I had my daily chat to ‘London boy’ who is also someone i have an oddly great bond with, even though i’m confused by him right now. Yet, me being me….i’m not too bothered by being confused. 🙂 Then I got ready, in my ‘purposely not getting dressed up’jumper…and promised myself that I was only going to go a few. A FUCKING FEW and not leave ‘Biggies’ at 3.43am, just because my legs hurt, in my swan jumper, red knee high boots, after battling off boys, who all tried to kiss me and come back to mine. (LOL. it cracks me up, as i love the boys, they’re all so much fun, but no word of a lie, the boys will wait until I’m pissed, tired and going to get my taxi and when i leave, they leave and all they’ll say to me is ‘i’m off to yours.’ It’s not even a question, it’s a statement and i have to turn all Mother hen and 34 on them and state that i’m too tired, too old and they all need to go to bed. It works. 🙂 Boys love Mother type chicks. HAHA. I literally NEVER DO the ‘taking a random boy home’ thing. I’m far to ‘looking for something else’ than that. I’m a love bunny with babies, a life and everything. I think i mentally audition boys. Sex…if i wanted it, I could have it with anyone. Conceited, but true. In that area…i’m grown up enough to how do I say it…’sort myself out.’ 🙂 )

Anyway, good night! Shattered me out though! Met up with Ben at The Broken Bridge. He too had gone casual, as I had promised him that wouldn’t drag him into Biggies until five o clock in the morning. I  obviously but truly accidentally lied. But i knew i’d mess up like that, as i’m the person that can’t leave early. If there’s a shindig a going down…i’m living it, loving it and there until the lights go up.  I’m a bit better now, as i’ll genuinely get tired and my legs will hurt so i’ll strut off in a huff an get my own taxi. But you’ve all done it….when the lights go up in ‘Biggies’ everyone sort of pauses, screams and runs off at the speed of light to the pizza shop, or the taxi queue and they run like Godzilla is coming. (Again…if you don’t know what ‘Biggies is…as loads of you send me messages asking me, as I forget that not everyone is from Ponty..it’s  SHITTY NIGHTCLUB. 🙂 )

Okay, drinking and chatting to Ben in the sun, about friends,  love, relationships, how we’re shit at them, the past, the future, work and until we were cold. All we did then was go inside and do more drinking, weeing, chatting about love, friends, work and shit (because we were still in sober phase 1) until he gets this awesome idea to rock over to what I call ‘Alley ‘ca zams for cocktails. We go on THE SINGLE MOST WINDIEST WALK EVER…and he’s now doing ‘suns out, guns out’ but at night, in a vest. HAHAHAH. He points down some dark alley and we have to walk down it to go get cocktails. LMFAO.

Me: ‘I can’t believe you’re taking me down a dark fucking alley.’

Ben: ‘Well it’s the only fucking way to the bar.’

That’s Ponty cocktails for you.

Anyhow, we do two pitchers of white Russians and this must have got us pissed and we started talking shit then. Funny shit, that only other drunk people would find funny. Other sensible people would just think we were tools. Glamourous tools though.

I mean Lord knows what we were saying and this was before some old, piss head Charlie bothered us outside and rambled on about having a Thai Bride and not a ‘fat fuck’ for a wife? Anyway, we talked about how Ben needs to go shopping, how he’s shit at holding down relationships, and then he told me (remember we’re pissed by now…really pissed and we’ve PICKED UP THE PITCHER WITHOUT EVEN STRAWS AND DECIDED TO DRINK FROM IT. Heaviest thing ever) but yeah, he tells me that he got Christened really old and that he’s not actually a Benjamin…he’s just a ‘Ben.’ Then he makes fun of people called ‘Benjamin’ so my inner Wunna has to banter and knock him down, by telling him that he’s boring because why anyone wouldn’t want the work ‘JAMIN’ on the end of their name is beyond me! I mean how cool is that!!!! HAHAHA.

Anyway, enough of all that, we end up somewhere? Blacky Moor? We’re really drunk now and out of nowhere, after a phone call, other friends join our shindig…lots of others…all boys because i was sort of having a ‘boys night’ and it got ace. Dodge was all pissed and upset because someone had whacked him on the head twice. Matty had got dancing fever, which was on the wavelength I was on, so i was down with that…other people showed up…can’t remember their names…and then Ben (sweet Ben, the one I did my chicken date with’ showed up for drinky drinks…he was lovely….and all about ‘Biggies’…which actually just meant he was fucked. 🙂

Then out of the blue, Adam, but i call Baby Ad’s rocks in and pats me on the back…he’s armed with a Liam and a boy who ordered a mixed fruit cider. 🙂 (I can’t remember his name.)

From this point on DRINKING HAPPENED…and we all just got pissed.

Happy, banter, singing dancing, The Barley Mow, air kisses, fun, and winks.

I chatted with Ads, I recapped with ‘Chicken Ben.’ The Other Ben was still refusing to do ‘Biggies’ but was still fun and being hilarious. Dodge had a quiff that looked upset. I think when he’s upset, his quiff gets upset too.,,so i fed him nuts and he said they were disgusting. 🙂  Matt was dancing like he was on Britain’s Got Talent. 🙂 I loved it. It made me want to Dance and unfortunately all night long. 🙂

Lots of drinking happened at The Blacky Moor, and then we briefly shook our tail feathers in The Barley Mow. All i remember was being stood in the mirror, posing and pouting and singing ‘Living on a prayer’ really loudly…with Matt, Ben and Matt’s other friend who was ace, but I can’t remember his name.

They started wedding dancing, which is when you take each other in what I call the ‘tango hold’ and step merrily across the dance floor, like you’re married. 🙂 I was doing bum wiggles and Ben just kept stating that i had promised him that we wouldn’t go to Biggies and that he was in a vest. My answer to that was just a ‘wiggle and a pout’ and all he said was ‘nevermind that..what’s going on?’

We all just said ‘Biggies’ at him, called him BORING…then luckily he rang out of cigs and well BIG FELLAS was the ONLY PLACE HE COULD GET THEM FROM. BOOM! We’re in!

Everyone was in the club. As soon as I walked into bumped straight back into Adam and Liam. We all did drinks, dance moved, ‘Chicken Ben’ was there, so I got to have a ‘cheerleader’ boogie with him. He’s sweet. In fact, when we were really pissed, we were sat down because my legs hurt and he said ‘You’re just too beautiful you’ (and I  love that, as i think it’s lovely when boys say lovely things at girls, even when drunk…) but cringey me said ‘ i know.’ HAHAHAH. Then told him how sweet that was off him.

I checked in with The other Ben, danced with Matt. Swirled around with Adam and Liam. Did more drinks. (Note that this lasted hours.) And I lost The Other Ben, who was the Ben that I began my night with. But this always happens. We both just fuck off, lose each other, do our own thing, search for one another and then just leave. Lol.

It was actually really fun, yet i felt oddly popular..even in a jumper. Everyone male friend i went up too, either asked for a kiss (just a pecky one) and i do mean literally everyone, which tells you how pissed they all were, or tried to guess the colour of my thong? It was blue? Well done Liam?

Then I got really tired and went home. Matt and ‘Chicken Ben’ (who i’d been dancing with) did going to the taxi rank with me, as we were all that knackered. Matt’s legs must still feel like shit. They were both apparently coming to mine, so I had to state that we were all going home because we were tired but TO OUR OWN HOMES. LOL. Mother hen alert.

Ben got in his cab first. Matt didn’t get in it, even though they live right next to each other and when I asked him why, he said because he ‘couldn’t be bothered to move his legs.’ LOL/ So I got in mine, got home, went straight to bed.


That’s how ace I am.

Work tomorrow.

Hellooo MOnday. x I’m chilling and concentrating now. New Rules. Less party party, more work, love and focus.





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