Piddles, Beds and Fripples



Good morning you dickie birds of jiggy! I almost got excited for a wee moment…(so to speak) because as I dropped Baby Ruby off at nursery, with the lovely ‘turning Glamour puss’ Donna, I thought I felt my waters beginning to BREAK. (Yippee! Hurrah! Bring out the banners!) Alas no. It’s all not that exciting. I actually just wee’d a tiny bit down my leg, due to a distinct lack of bladder control caused my preggoness. 🙂 Sexy! I got all excited for nothing. But i think it’s almost time and simply because last night, when I was wondering around in a frilly lemon tank top, my slanty eyes and my vagina out, i felt ‘ouchy’ cramps, like he was intending on making an arrival shortly. I bent over the new bed, that Keiran was snuggled up in, cosied in white Egyptian cotton sheets, sort of like like dog in pain. It was kinda scary and exciting all in one. However then my lovely hubby laughed with an ‘Oh great, this the first night I get to sleep in my new bed, after months of having to sleep on the sofa, after waking up at 6am every morning and working like an exhausted dog and now we’re going to be in labour all the way though the entire night. Don’t get it on the bed.’ 🙂 

The pain then eased off…almost as if ‘the bump’ knew Daddy needed a good night’s sleep before the circus of a newborn. Plus, I’m getting my weave tightened on Saturday at 1pm, in Doncaster…so if he could just wait until i have fabulous hair and a second spray tan, then i’d be happy toooo! 🙂 I had lunch and coffee with my parents yesterday. We went to Farmer Copley’s Moo Cafe. My Father is friends with the owners, Robert and Richard Copley. We walked in, and immediately Robert screamed out with greeting delight welcoming us to his gaff. Then we had steak sandwiches…best steak sandwich i’d ever had! No word of a lie! love that place. Must go again. I enjoy that my folks know everyone who owns everything. We’re welcomed everywhere and i’m not sure why other than the fact that I have spendy parents and well they have…connections, connections, connections. I don’t know why they’re so happy to have us, but i’m grateful. It gets me in ‘circle privilege  when i’m up north…because I have London and Hollywood down to the wink! I’m loving Yorkshire life right now. It’s a great place to ‘do family,’ well…if you’re not celebrating Yorkshire the ‘chav way’ round. *Dunking my Digestive into my Earl Grey.*(One of my guy friends has just dumped his girlfriend and is now moaning because he’s madly in love with her. Erm..then why dump her you idiot? Boys really do need to man up at times. How does ‘that’s it i want to break up,’ translate as ‘I love you madly, please please love me back.’ Fears a sneaky bastard, but it’s always good to be brave enough to be able to say what you truly feel. That’s what women want. We adore brave men. And not those that chicken out of declaring love, or those that are too terrified to tell a girl that he loves her, without testing to see is she loves him back first. I think that’s why men have always delighted in me and simply because i’m really good and communicating and getting how I feel across and not like a slow sailing ship, but more like a bullet. 🙂 Bad if I dislike you, but ace if i love you. I got my fairytale that way AND on the telly box.)

Anyway…I heard so much GREAT GREAT ‘can’t tell you anything about any of it’ news last night that i was simply over the moon, bubbling over with champagne froth of happiness. It’s crazy how happy you can be for yourself and people, when you hear things that you know makes them really happy. It was an amazing night of good news, which sort of followed an amazing night with Hubbilicious. We set up the new room last night and you should’ve seen little Keiran’s face. He just kept inside smiling and jumping up and down with excitement saying ‘I can’t believe I have a brand new bad. You don’t know how great this feels. No-one’s EVER bought me a bed before. I’ve always had to buy everything myself in life, or buy things for other people. This is amazing. Literally.’ I sort of gave him a ‘Welcome to The Wunna Family’ smile. I have a great family and my branch of in my new little family is an even better extension of that. I love seeing people I care about filled with real happiness. He was like a happy little boy last night reliving his childhood. As soon as i left his tucked up in his brand new fluffy white sheets and turned out the lights, he fell asleep immediately. Oh and yes right now we DO have ‘his and her’s’ rooms! We’re traditional and modern all at the same time. Traditional when it comes to the love, romance, loyalty and way our roles work. Yet modern when it comes to style, manner, swag and material things. 🙂 ‘His & Her’s rooms simply means we can tag team the children AND we can free flow from either room for sleep, cuddles, or sex whenever we want. It keeps it sexy. We’re both independent and love our own space. So it’s ideal for us. Apart from I have Baby Rubes in my bed, weeing, puking and donkey kicking me, whilst i’m pregnant. 🙂 I love having her next to me for a cuddle when I wake. (God, i can’t believe that i simply piddled a little down my own leg this morning and thought it was my waters breaking. Annoyed!)

Yesterday was great. It really was. I got a bit moody mid afternoon due to my delicious hormones and basic preggo attitude problem. I think I was cold and when i’m cold i’m grumpy. I was walking around Junction 32, the outdoor shopping mall in Castleford and it was freezing. I made the foolish mistake of being 9 months pregnant, and thinking it was okay to venture out of the house without my bra on. Not to feel sexy and turn on the masses. But just because my bra hurt my boobies, I had just showered and tan, so i figured a throw on, no waistband, pink maxi dress would be perfect. Bra-less. Bad move. I officially became the weird fripple woman that teens made fun of. Don’t get me wrong, there was plenty of the wrong attention due to pokey out nipplage. But it just made me feel odd and self conscious. Weird really as i’d usually embrace a round of the ‘Fripples’. (frozen nipples.)

Anyway, this morning during the nursery run, I had a convo about what it feels like to be a woman, in comparison to a young hot girl. Donna, (who’s Ruby’s key carer) is turning all glamour puss by the day…and I lvoe that in women and I hope that I inspire that in most. 🙂 She’s getting blonder each time I see her, she’s bought extensions, ordered new shoes, rocking a golden tan…and well even managed to get her lashes to stay on all night the other night! 10 points! We ended up talking about how awful it feels to be an oldie, when you go out to the club because you have to sit and watch young 19 or 20 something chicks, in their tight boobie dresses and booty shorts, with their tans and big blond hair, boobs and heels rock in and grab all the attention…attention that you once had.

I agreed that it can be hideous. However, y’know I feel sexy right now. I knwo I’m not as yummy as I used to be. But nothing is sexier than being 32, having wisdom, life experience, stories to tell, great sex skills :), ooh laa, a Hollywood background, a stint on the telly and a great set of knockers. YES, there are times when I see a pretty girl and see watch every man watch her wishing they could be with her…even if you’re with a guy that’s means to only have eyes for you and it’s not nice, it makes you feel insecure and liek you needs to leave the vicinity promptly. Yet, if you can’t beat’em, join’em. I believe that just as older women are made to feel insecure by a young hottie p’totty. Young pretty girls also feel JUST AS insecure when they see a hot ass M.I.L.F. Boys love M.I.L.F’s. It’s the hot mummy syndrome that they can’t resist. They love to be cared for, think sex will be better and want a bit..always. The bad thing is that boys use young pretty girls for sex and boys, use M.I.L.Fs (well the ones with the good lives) for money. You have to be really careful. It works both ways so ladies work what you’ve got and flaunt your ‘sexy-sexy’. Girls are hot no matter what age. As are guys. It’s all about confidence, glamour and fabulousity. Men kneed to know how to treat a women and women need to know how to visually stimulate a guy. You’ve got to be in it to win it. Sit in ‘ too shy to flaunt’ corner, then you’ll be sat there crying into your rum and coke, as hottie number one, be she young or old takes your man. *Bronze here.*

This week is lasting ages!

Oh and to those of you who don’t know if i’ve had my baby or not. I really haven’t. I assure you, YOU WILL KNOW when i have, because there will be no blog during the labour and well i’m far too much of an attention whore, to not inform you of such an occurance.

Love you. Thank you for following my life.

Excited for the future. Married life rocks. Ruby is delightful. I feel sexy. Entertainment is going to be a blast. I can’t wait for the baby to make an appearance. I can’t wait to start the money making. I’m happy with where I am right now and looking forward to making each and every dream of mine come true! Booyah! Love it!





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