Hello Lovers of spunk juice. After a whole load of things going dreadfully wrong yesterday, i ended up on one of those randomly spontaneous adventures, where you find yourself not any where where your supposed to be and strutting in high heels, skinny jeans, and a pink tight tube, through Leicester square, with a Gay who was telling all about his French lover, then past a red carpet film premiere, armed with my dark sunglasses, then through a bit of china town and into the darling Ku Bar…where i tend to find myself a lot recently…for ONE drink…which turned into a NIGHT of drinking. I had wine.
Lots of ‘We love Wunna’ fans we’re out. Hahahaha! I really do need to get over myself. Yeah One…but NOT today! Woohoo! I like these nights! I found myself picturing and dancing with chicks, gay dads and the odd lesbo, whilst talking about my tits, then i got a treat from the heavens! Okay! I TWITTER, my whereabouts a GREAT GREAT deal, due to Attention Whore syndrome. And well i’m at this bizarre stage in my life, where people now will see me in a bar, a club, or wherever, even be stood next to me, but weirdly DAREN’T come up to me and say ‘Hi.’ I’m not sure why? I really don’t bite before weekends, and really rarely bite before you have a bite at Me. lol. And this ‘not saying HI’ jiggery pokery, makes me feel like i’m longer adored, therefore please do stop it. Hahah. I’m a lover not a fighter.
Anyway, what was i trying to say? Oh god, yeah…there’s this one deliciously adorable gay male, who reads my blog, watched the show, who i’ve talked to many a time on Facebook, Twitter and ‘Fan Phone’ (which will be making a comeback shortly,) who last week saw that i was at Ku Bar, but dare not come and say ‘hello.’ But you know what! Last ngiht, whilst he was at work, he FOUND The WUNNA in him (oh-er,) lied to his boss, read my Twitter, and then with an ‘I’m just popping to the toilet,’ fled his work place, like a cheeky adventure bumpkin, and went on an adventurous challenge to find me, meet me and get his photo! I LIKE this VERY much!! It’s gutzy, it’s sexy and totally worth my while.
I’m sat at the bar, with Gay Adam, a wine and my gay bartender boyfriend, all boobied and skinnied jeaned, talking about Men and out of nowhere pops this adorable being, all beauticul and deliciously smelling, who i KNEW straight AWAY. (You always think i won’t know who you are. But if i’ve talked to you online at any time…i will KNOW who you are. I’m good like that. Memory like an elephant…or is that sieve?) Anyway before he quite shyly told me his story, i knew his story. Hugged him, kissed him and with an ‘I LOVE YOU’ he GOT his photo..then ran off back to work, as a ‘toilet break’ lie, is one you can’t milk for too long, right. (The above right hand picture…is HIM. He is now officially on Team Wunna, for having giant balls and ‘ooh laa.’) I love him!!!
Okay, then Gay Adam and i figure we might aswell make a night of it, now we’ve committed to the art of being piss heads, therefore we decide to bar hop it, having one drink in each gay bar we could find. I ventured to The Village, sat under chandeliers, poked around on the patio, danced a little disco. Then after deciding to NOT go to Freedom bar…we flurry off in the darkness all singing, dancing and lying to ourselves, to G-A-Y.
Great TIME!! Lots of bottled alcopops we’re enjoyed. Lots of dancing, fun, lollipops for one pound, drunk talk, new friends, Life and shimming took place…maybe even a bit of bullying. There was this weird muslim guy, who refused to admit he was gay and claimed to be in the ‘confused’ stage. He had bought a JUG of booze, for himself & was wearing a Man U t-shirt. I mean honey….if there’s a place, to ‘come out’ in without judgment, it’s going to be fricking G-A-Y. The clue’s in the title darling. Hahahah…anyway he got all huffy and started yelling at my friends. He pointed at me and was like ‘Then WHY are you here???‘ Because i’m a FUCKING Fag Hag you moron & OFF the FUCKING telly! I then toppled into a fake tree thing, made up with a friend and met a real life girl, with bigger boobies than me, who’s REAL last name is actually ‘HOOKER.’ I fucking LOVE IT!!!!! And i LOVED her.
Gay Adam and I then HAD to leave as the pokery was getting far too much for our innocent souls. God i was pissed! Then we ran into little ‘shipwrecked’ Mark Byron who i really do adore…it’s his voice. I just want to tickle him. After dear darling convo, and a discussion about Kat and Jade Goody, i found myself on the Northern Line, back to Camden. (Y’know i actually dreamt last night, that i was in a playground with Paris Hilton, and we we’re linked by the arm, looking up at the night sky and aimlessly spinning, whilst evil laughing. Drinking now makes me hallucinate. Maybe drugs will give me ‘Beer goggles?’)
I called ‘Lashes’ and fought with him. He’s now forgiven me, by being the Peace maker. A like a boy who can peace make. He’s no grudge holder, which makes him a grown up. Just got off the phone to him right now. But anyway, i loved last night. I’m loving London. I did cry a bit before i slept out of drunkardness, whilst stuffing pasta in my face and making polite conversation with myself. (Made great ‘window’ footage.) And well now i have to pack a bag and get ready…