Watch it tonight my Darlings! Might aswell. There’s nothing else to do, put pull ya fist out ya fanny. It’s a goody. So enjoy! What you don’t know about last week is that Samuel and i after our flirting challenge with ‘Best’ broke into the bedroom, saw all the scores on the board…switched them all around, knowing that the others might later see, then stole a bottle of champagne, started guzzling it like pirates out it’s bubbly end, then heard foot steps approaching, so whilst also stealing a fan (as in the feathery ‘it’s too hot in here’ kind, and not like a knicker throwing PHBBF cheerleader,) we fucking panic (and start shoving marshmellows into our mouths, like it was our last dying day??) I get scared. Sam fumbles, picks me up, throws me into the giant Score board (hahahaha). I fly through the air. Smash into it. It all collapses on top of me.. then decides to fall to pieces…but i still manage to be guzzling the champagne and i think we were in our pyjamas. Then we leg it back to the boudoir, with the faces of ‘Slaggy Angels,’ fan ourselves down and try to blame it all on Emma! It worked! Good times!
Welcome to our World!
Chrissie Wunna (‘Paris Hiltons British Best Friend’ 9pm ITV2)