Didn’t really do a ‘Blogathon’ today did i? Better things like relaxing, winking and rubbing my boobs in mirrors to R Kelly’s ‘Ignition’ took place, with a moment of telling ‘Boyband Jonny’ to stop being so ‘Queeny.’ When he’s moody he’ll pull a drama queen strop, and i’ll turn all macho and threaten him with kind words of hate, followed up by a promise of beating him down. Paradise innit! He thinks i’m shyer than i say i am. And yeah i have moments of ‘shy’ (which i just call ‘sober)..but there’s definitely the ‘ballsy’ in me. (OOoh Matron.) I’m not that shy really, only with people i dont really know, who stare at me & ask me questions. I’m an attention whore. We can’t pull shy off…unless it’s for a bit of ‘Look at me.’
I’m covered in fake tan, that i applied to Mariah Carey’s ‘All i want for Christmas.’ I’m not sure it’s aiding the process or simply making me want gifts. As if anyone just wants a ‘boy’ for Christmas. You can get a bit of ‘willy’ or ‘love’ anytime. I want cold hard cash, diamonds and a Malibu mansion please…gift wrapped and it better come with a cocktail and a cigarette. (Smoking is for Losers children.) When ur a complete hot mess of a ‘loser’ like me, then u can tamper with puffy paper fire sticks.
Tomorrow i’m headed to London and i’m not even working. I’m really just going to be supportive, socialize & cheer on singers. What has happened to me? I’m even more amazing than i ever imagined. (She fans herself.) I think i’m meant to be at Burlesque class, but i simply can’t go, as ‘Embassy’ needs me. Remind me to tell them!!
I’ve had loads of pervs ‘have a go’ today. I think i’m being highly misread by boys or they simply don’t quite understand how to lure me into their lives. I’m throwing them for a loop. A smart boy will know how and see right through me. A dumb one will fail miserably and then abuse me verbally once shunned. (I need wine. Where’s my slave?) Ooh Nelly’s ‘over and over again’ is on..i love it. Reminds me of a boy who ‘four pumped’ me in LA called Rob Salerno. We hate each other now…so it’s all good. He used me for sex…which is nice of him. Then wrote a rap song about me called ‘I hit it, then i quit it….cos i found a better girl.‘ He would sing it to me at ‘Crunch’ to see what i thought of the lyrics. I thought, this bitch isn’t letting this happen to her again. But i did…over and over again!
Men have either treated me really well or really badly in this lifetime and nothing inbetween and i think it’s because i don’t really deal with ‘inbetweeners.’ You should never trust someone who is ‘inbetween’ on anything. Fence sitters are useless, they’re like litter. It makes me think they don’t trust themselves enough to take a step forward or back. You’ve godda go one way or the other. If you don’t then you’ll never make any dream come true and in Hollywood (even though i’m not there right now..) that Ain’t gonna cut it.