Okay, i have a really weird relationship with taxi drivers. People enjoy to journey me places. I don’t know why…but they do. I’m getting a car and driving…and simply because if you actually think about it..it’s really bizarre sitting in the back of a car, behind a ‘being’ you don’t at all know, who tries to conversate with you about the world, then charges you for it.
I’ve just got back from being in Ponty town center. I’m hardly ever there, yet today i forgot that needed to troop off to the bank to transfer money before closing time. I get stared at a lot in Ponty, to the point of slight uncomfortability. Luckily, i’m an attention whore..therefore i’m quite well equipped to handle it all…and with a *pout.* (I looked great! I worked it.)
Got to the bank, did my do, then bought a dress at New Look, simply because i felt i had too. I love the store, but the one in Ponty is only tiny, therefore you have to be brave if your Chrissie Wunna, because you are an inch away from the starers. Just so you know, i don’t mind the stares at all…but i do prefer it when people actually talk to me. I’ll walk past an item and behind me i hear whispers of ‘What is she looking at? What is she gonna buy? Is that that girl from that…?’ I grabbed 5 dresses, that i thought were 50/50…and tottered into the fitting room for some, believe or not…space. The staff were great there though. I bought a dress, but only out of pressure. I sat down behind my fitting room curtain..(i’ve once given a blow job in a fitting room…not proud) and in nothing but my pink lace thong, and heels..i texted Pete and Harriet. Pete’s got his new car today or something….and Harriet says i’m rubbish when i’m in a relationship. 🙂
Anyway, long story short. Had to get a taxi home. I walked in…ordered it from Data Cars, and stood inside whilst i waited. My cab came, so i strutted towards it merrily and mildy tired from a day of *stares.* It was female taxi driver, mouthing the word ‘Badsworth‘ at me. Lovely, bubbly, large set, blond lady. Fun, cheeky, chatty. I get comfortable and arsey because my BlackBerry is refusing to work. I noticed that she was on her mobile, talking loudly, laughing, saying the word ‘commision’ a lot, and looking at me through her mirror.
As soon as she put the phone down…she asked me about my love life…told me that the owner of the company had seen me at the taxi rank, watched me get into the cab and now he wants to date me. My first words were ‘is he hot?‘ The answer i got was, ‘he owns the whole entire place, drives a Lexus, talks real nice and yeah he’s gorgeous. I wouldn’t mind laying under him for 30 minutes! He’ll treat you like a Princess and he wants your number. I KNEW he’d call me, as soon as i had you in my car. I just knew it. Don’t tell him though! He’s hot…i mean skinny, but hot! I’ve been told to get your number for him!’
I giggled, i laughed, i did the Glamour pussy shy thing. (I’m not AT ALL shy.) Then she reaches for her mobile and pretty much makes me talk to him. OMG..how bizarre, but funny. ONLY I could get into a situtaion like this. After the phone convo, and with a ‘here i’ll pass you back, because i feel a bit weird,’ i decided to change the subject and turn it onto how beautiful i thought her features were.
I mean, she was a fun, bubbly, larger woman…but had the most beatiful ‘dolly’ features. Piercing eyes, pouty lips, chubby cheeks. I loved her. Then she told me she was getting a makeover in Manchester, she had 8lbs taken off her boobs, she really wants her daughters to be models, her sex life is great, her friend is too dark to go blond and that she had a boob job, after getting them reduced, but her body ate her left one away, leaving her with just one boob.
By this time, we had arrived at my home..not far at all. Usually, at this time, there’s just an exchange of money. I like a quick exchange. However, today in Wunnaland, and after ‘Kay’ (that was her name…she gave me her number)..had shown me pictures of her daughters, with the same eyes, she turned around to face me, lifted her top up and pretty showed me her boobs….the one that got eaten away..nipple out and everything. HAHAHAH! WTF!!! I do i get trapped in these chapters! (I did think she was hilarious. I mean that lady has got some balls and is really confident. Parts of her reminded me of myself. Funny funny lady, but actually armed with a very sad story, perfectly covered up with smiles, laughter and a bit of ‘that’s life.‘ I mean she’s having to walk around with one boob implant! That can’t get you too many free dinners now can it. Then @Eddclay bbm’ed me…so i strutted off. He’s managed to finish all his exams! Heelllooo summer! Come to Mama.
Me and taxis just don’t mix. We’re like oil and water…but sexier. I don’t even know what to think? From now on i’m driving. Lord help me! (Thank God Ricki Lake has got hot men stripping on her show right now. I need a bit of a destress.)