Nothing short of Luxury & My Twitter Birthday

Goshy woshy! The background to my life is currently INFOMERCIALS! Please save my soul. It reminds me of my early days in Hollywood, when i had just arrived and was living in a hotel. There were no decent channels working on my telly, so i had to have it chilling all day on all sorts of infomercial channels. From that point on i haven’t managed to enjoy them as much. Yet on occasion having the background noise of an infomercial channel bizarrely does comfort me, like a cuddle from a big warm mummy bosom. Today however, i don’t need comfort, as i feel like a vixen ‘P’ for Powerhouse. So the brand new seamless, beige, stretchy bras, cheap bargain Dame Edna jewellery, exercise belts and on comb hair pieces can simply get clicked over and left for the other suckers of the world to buy. I always think it’s men who love to buy from an infomercial channel. They see some random drill or some machine that ‘seals everything with one fail swoop’ and they get all excited and need to have it immediately? I’m always a hard sell and simply because it takes a lot to impress me. 🙂 However, i will admit at Christmas time, a bit of cheesy infomercial magic, is certainly a treat. Especially when the lady tries to sell you coloured arts and craft CARD, to make your own DIY Nativity play. FFs. It would just be so much greater if the entire shindig was presented and performed by an extremely ginned up middle aged lady. God!! That could’ve been MY calling in life. Damn you sobriety cloud! (Not sure what’s just happened because as Wazza says i’m a complete retard when it comes to computery stuff, but i think i’ve just accidentally titled a new bookmark on my laptop, as ‘Damn you sobriety.’ 🙂

Okay, so i’m feeling delicious today. I’ve been quite tired, yet i’m always hanging from that disco ball of ‘positive outlook.’ (Even though  a scrotty little 14 year old gypo girl named called at me yesterday. 🙂 She looked at Rubes and said ‘aww look, how cute is that little girl,’ so like any proud mum would i looked at her and smiled. Then the scrotty little teenage gypo girl, looked at me, did an odd little girl insecure face, and followed her compliment by saying ‘shame about the mother,’ to the gaggle of little teenage girlfriends she was bundled with.) Bad manners is never attractive and i find it really hard to bite my tongue, when it comes to mouthy little scrotty girls. Yet i simply gave her ‘The Wunna’ bitch look and laughed at her, because everything i did have to say would have scarred her for a good long time and with her being around 14, i figured she’d just learn life the hard way. Plus, i had Rubes there. However, i do think that if a little girl, wants to play ‘big girl’ than by all means you’re allowed to have a go at them. It’s fun because it makes them all cry in public toilets.)

Okay, so the weekend, The Hubs and The Wunna’s, all went to posh dinner in fabulous dresses and Tuxedos and toasted to everything possible including women, life, men and The Queen. We dined on a jolly few courses and watched drunk ladies dance to Buddy Holly tracks, then the clock hit 10.45pm and it was time to pick Baby Ruby up, as dinner time was up and we were all back to happy home life. I love slipping off the evening dress and delicately taking out the diamantes, as my ‘handsome’ slides off his dicky bow and undoes his top collar button ready to relax. There’s something sexy about. Something quiet, yet real. Then to have the joy of being able to tuck your little half asleep baby girl into bed and all cuddle up for chill time before the next day arrives is perfect.

The next day did arrive and fast and i was determined to make Sunday, ‘All about Rubes.’ It began with laughter and breakfast making and family kissy kisses, before sorting out Ruby’s new bedroom and then all bundling up and running out to get ‘The Handsome’s’ hair cut, followed by a yummy family lunch at TGI Friday’s and finally a burst of running around and playing. We wore my very sequinned child out, to the point where her bedtime occured at 5.30pm and she didn’t wake up until 6.30am this morning. There’s nothing like sequins and wearing things out. It’s lethal combination that simply can’t be beaten, because it fools you into being blinded by fun and glitzerella, when really you’re exhausting your pretty little self out and without you even knowing. Any man who has dated me, will be familiar with this combination..and it knocks you for 6. BOOYAH! (I’m currently watching ‘Real Housewives…’ while snacking on Ryvitta’s, cream cheese and Tabasco. It’s certainly great thinking food. I much prefer snacky bits of foodie delight because you can sort of take a bite and then throw it back down once you’re done, without feeling too podged out. It’s the way forward i’m telling ya and quite frankly the way i’ve always eaten.

Other than all that, i’ve currently run out of sight. God knows what’s going on with my contact lenses but i never have enough of them and they run out on me just when i need them. Well i kinda always need to be able to see. Yet i bulk buy them, so they come in big boxes full. This is always bad for someone like me, because i see loads and then misuse them, thinking they will last forever. I’m like ‘here rejoice, contact lenses for everyone.’ I’m irresponsible when i see excess and i just simply need to learn to treasure things (that come in bulk) a great deal more. I love having lots. All glamour pusses do and i’ve always been someone that wanted more, everything and now. I’ve never ever been a girl who could ever imagine living a life on just a comfortable wage, or salary. It just doesn’t appeal to me at all. I like luxury and excess and that really is it. Nothing less will do and i expect that from all those around me. My parents are like that, my daughters like that, my husbands like that…and well that’s just the way Wunna land rolls. One day we’ll get to our point of victory and we can finally sit down and breathe. It’s  just important to celebrate along the way, which i tend to do, however the men i date tend to not. Men get stressy about success and money making don’t they? Mainly because they believe it defines them. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. Yet money and social status matter truck loads to them. I’m quite manly in that way. I’m seduced by power, money and status. Yet the little girl in me is pure and chipper, meaning a cocktail and a bit of glitter can make me forget about the ‘warrior’ in me and let me dance to the music of life. To do well, you have to work hard and yeah you might have to be a bit back stabby. But staying positive and making sure you don’t get lost in doubt and negativity is the hardest part. However, i’ve got that part down well! *Pings last hook of the corset-then runs around naked for a bit of look at me.*

I’m also excited because i’m wanting to spend a a few days away on December at the luxury log cabin in the forest again. I’m hoping for a festive 4 days away, in the forest hot tub withThe ‘Handsome Hubs,’  Phil, Kelly and the children during my birthday week. We only came up with the ‘lightbulb’ moment yesterday so it isn’t all set in stone yet. But i think it would be fun to get away to a little retreat just before crimbo. When you’re a family you treasure those moments away and what a perfect way to spend 4 days just before Christmas, in the cosiness of a luxury forest log cabin. We loved it last time, so this time it will be doubly fun.

I’ve started my blog early today and because i’m hoping to post one later about the perfect Christmas gifts for you men to buy us ladies. I know as a girl, i find it sooo difficult to decide what to buy a guy. I get all puzzled and end up ballsing it up, or over purchasing out of ‘not knowing.’ Therefore i figure men must have the hardest time ever. Since i’m all for ‘da girls’…i think that a little help could go a long long way and well we deserve to get our perfect treat under the tree from the man of our dreams this year. So later…i’ll have a Christmas list up help men, choose the right gift for their girlie. I was gonna leave it until tomorrow, since it’s actually bonfire night tonight and therefore not quite all about Crimbo yet. But we’ll see.

Anyway, i’ve somehow got to find some sight and purchase it as soon as possible. Plus, i need to run errands and buy, buy, buy more things to make the home a happy one. It’s chilly, but a beautiful day and i think i’m going to be taking Rubes to a bonfire tonighta after nursery.

Have a wonderful day…. (I wonder whether i got that beauty commercial? My gut instinct is usually pretty good and my instinct of guttage is telling me ‘no.’)

Ps, It’s my TWITTER birthday today! I joined Twitter 4 years ago on this very day! Please forward gifts. Lots of them. I also enjoy cold card cash. That always works! Yipppeee!

HAPPY NOVEMBER 5TH. Hope you get surprised kissed under fireworks!!!


We all adore spitty bits of magic littering our air with light bursts of ‘ooh laa’ and noise. It’s a celebratory madness and certainly very ‘Wunna.’ Wrap up warm and enjoy yourself and get swept away by the evening with a pout-pout-hairtoss.

Here’s some interesting facts about fireworks: (Just incase you’re bored or want to look brainy later)

.The earliest documentation of fireworks dates back to 7th century China. They were invented more than 2000 years ago in China. (Us Asians know how to throw a good time.)

.Dreaming about fireworks means that you like to be the centre of attention and are showing off to others. It also symbolizes enthusiasm and exhilaration.

.The biggest occasion for fireworks in the UK is Guy Fawkes Night (5th November). It is a celebration of the failing of the Gunpowder Plot on 5 November 1605, an attempt to kill King James I at the Houses of Parliament.

.The word for firework in Japanese, ‘hanabi’, which actually means “fire-flower”.







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