No water for ME



So my water’s been cut off! Lovely!

Glamour Pusses usually don’t need water, as we can live off wine and somehow make water happen, with a wiggle, wink and a ‘get me it.’ However….now I don’t have it…I WANT IT. I’m not usually one to want something that I don’t have. But today…and after I’ve realized that one does need it to shower…i’m devastated. I mean washing the pots up and washing the clothes aren’t really something I tend to very often. But i need my warm sprinkle, sprinkle of a shower and especially because we’ve had make up ‘nookie.’

Now, I don’t want you to think i’m irresponsible, (even though I am quite irresponsible at the best of times,) the bill HAS been paid. However, as luck would have it, according to Yorkshire water…if you just so happen to live in the WF7 area, on Wakefield road, (which is my Exact area) you will have your water supply taken from you and simply due to some kind of incident. Lord knows what has happened? Maybe some dehydrated drunkie had supped in all, in a moment of ultimate need. But I now have no water, until of course they fix it…which is…’when they can.’ ๐Ÿ™‚

Now, i cant shower after make up ‘nookie’ with The Hubs. I’m currently watching him hit golf clubs, with his new golfy friend. (They apparently like hole 13…I have no idea what that means?) I did what any decent, clean girl of luxury would do and simply rubbed myself down with a dry towel, plonked on some clothes, hair-tossed and spritzed myself with any random perfume that I could find. ๐Ÿ™‚ #classy

I’ve obviously Tweeted my water despair, because I’m an attention seeker and need to Tweet everything and what did my fan base tell me to do? (And of course this is why I love you.) ‘Wash in wine.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ Followed by, ‘Now you’ll have to bathe in milk like Cleopatra.’ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚

I have ace followers and simply because sensible followers would’ve just rambled on about how shit Yorkshire water were to have cut me off. Yet MY FOLLOWERS, who are far superior for having wonderful taste, (the glitzy kind) are all, ‘fuck it….pour vino in the tub and wash up! It’s brilliant! I’m sure I should rule the world.

On a more sensible note…I am a bit worried as I do have a little 2 year old…a gorgeous one that WILL NEED water. I’m hoping that by the time i’ve gotten home it’s back up and running. If not we’re all making like Cleo and getting nudies in a milk bath. My bath will probably curdle.

Hope you’re all feeling delicious! I don’t want you to forget that it’s Mother’s day for all UK-ers on Sunday!

My hands are so cold that they’re probably about to drop off. The golf boys are bantering and whacking balls between chuckles and life moments. I’m in a faux fur, with a pack of pork scratching! I need coffee and an imaginary wine. I hope the weathers lovelier in the forest next week. That way i can tweet you all pictures and make you all ‘wish you were here.’

Tomorrow is a day of pamper. I have a hair appointment at 9.30am…followed by a nail appointment…followed by a maybe spray tan or home coat? I’m dying to get my glam back on because the last stages of pregnancy really do make me feel dodgy. I’m under the misconception that a tan and a weave will make me the fact that i’m chubby and will have a human’s head wedging it’s head out of my floozy soon, much better.

Life is good. I can’t wait to get back on your telly box. It won’t be long now I hope!?! Everything’s on a delay.

I can’t wait to see Baby Ruby tonight and I’m loving my little hubby more than words can simply say. We’re just a good combo…and when you have a good combo, you just godda conga line your victory with a ‘Woo-hoo!’





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