Okay so some mornings, i struggle to have anything to blog about. Yet on this fine morning, ‘some people’ make my job too easy!! (haha) I am still in hysterical, ‘not supposed to be telling anyone’ fits of laughter!! So i wake up, i walk out of my door, accidently into another door, armed with Joop shower gel that i’ve been instructed to pass on. I hear loud out of tune singing, to Nick Lachey…it’s some crap love song. All this time i’m at the top of my lungs screaming, ‘OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR,’ and knocking like i’m a ‘Diet Rockstar’ maniac. The music after about 4 mins comes to a halt. I continue to SHOUT. Then i hear weeping…so even though it’s rude to enter before you’ve heard the ‘What do you want, bitch?? Come in,’ i shoot in like Scrappy Dappy Doo, only to be hit with the worst piece of countryside scenery i have ever seen in my life!! I’m still keeling over my laptop laughing, so please to forgive any ‘not explaining it right-ness.’ So, i rush in, i see a stark naked male, penis and goolies out, open legs straggling the bed he’s sitting on, ipod in hand, and earphones firmly plugged into ears, curtains drawn, eyes closed, pubic hair on display and loud (what looked like the best party ever) singing. Then to garnish it all off, the gentleman, has his head proudly in the air, and is fake SWIMMING, like he’s a baby DUCKLING in the AIR. His arms were FAKE paddling. ( i guess the moral of this story is don’t listen to Nick lachey???)
You’d think i’d just start losing it, and yelling, right? Nope! I nodded, and politely did that thing when you pretend it’s not happenning. The boy, sudden wakes from his ‘happy place.’ I apologise, leave, then spend the rest of the morning silent belly laughing, laid on my back, as my legs were finding it impossible to hold up the ‘ridiculous hilarious’ part of my weight. I swear, i laughed so hard i cried. ‘Boy,’ later shuffles downstairs, whilst i’m dancing to ‘Work it’ and luckily laughs it off, while asking me to make him a strawberry protein shake. Life is just too great!!